Chapter Two: Plea
Kel stood and stared.
She'd manage to avoid all but minimum contact with the Third Company of the King's Own that Dom was in charge of; most but not all. Her time as squire to Raoul of Goldenlake, Commander of the Own, had meant that she had made a lot of friends within the ranks of men in the Own and so she had often seen glimpses of him. And in every visit she made to any of the men who worked under Raoul, she was treated to updates about everyone including one particular sergeant with whom she hadn't spoken since that horrific mission in the Royal Forest two years ago. Of course, she had worked with the Own since then but never Third Company or Dom – Raoul knew how she felt about what had happened.
Time had not affected Dom in any of the ways Kel had hoped it would in the months following that fateful day. She had hoped that time would sour his looks; it had not. If anything he radiated life and youthfulness at twenty-seven years old. She had hoped that time would take the thickness and colour of his hair; it had not. She could see the glossy brown waves even from this distance, gleaming in the light of the bonfire. She had hoped time would mark his face with lines of age; it had not. His cheeks were still perfect with a smattering of travel stubble. Dom still looked exactly the same, if not more handsome and passionate; strength and power seemed to fill the air around him.
But in that moment she didn't care, for once, how he looked. In that moment, for once, she didn't notice or appreciate how well and how very alive Dom looked, compared to the last memory she had of him. She was looking in his eyes. She was searching for a fleck of regret, of sorrow, of repentance at what had happened when she had last travelled with the Third Company.
But she found none.
She had hoped most of all that time would diminish the fire in his eyes that she saw – two bright torches of hope and determination burning her within his gaze; it had not. As he watched her, Kel felt physically trapped in the sheer power of his scrutiny as he studied her at length. His gaze was a warm path across her body which when it met her eyes every couple of heart-beats in that moment, made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. But there was no apology within those deep blue pools, no remorse.
And that stiffened her resolve. That made it easier for Kel to pull away from the tagging currents of Domitan's cerulean ocean eyes and raise her head in defiance.
With graphic memories that filled her with sorrow, remorse and guilt flashing through her head, this lack of regret made it possible for Kel to turn and walk with Tobe to join the greetings line for baby Hope. Possible, but not easier.
Kel knew that it was traditional to have a greetings line at naming ceremonies but she wasn't surprised that Tobe was getting bored. Five minutes into the cursed thing he leaned over and whispered into her ear from his position at her right-hand side, "How many more people live in this town?"
Kel had to smother a giggle as she shook the hand of the head of the New Hope Guard. Every person at that ceremony could come up to the greetings line which had Kel, Tobe, Fanche, Saefas, Haive and Hope lined up beside the bonfire, and formally greet the new-born. Usually not everyone took this opportunity, but it seemed tonight that every resident from New Hope and the villages surrounding had come to witness the naming. Kel was getting fed up of formally introducing herself, titles and all, with her new one attached:
"Hello, I'm Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan; godmother to Haive and Hope..."
Being the mature on for once, Kel shushed her son and looked up to greet the next guest, then stopped in shock. Before her stood a couple of good friends she hadn't seen in over a year – since they had both been back in the palace at the same time; before her last tour of the realm and before the couple travelled to the homeland of her best friend's bride to see her parents.
"Surprise!" Sir Nealan of Queenscove and his wife Yuki stood before her grinning foolishly at her astonishment. They rushed forward to embrace Kel as the news that she was getting to see her best-friend sunk in and the formal introduction died on her lips.
Pulling back to look at her friends Kel finally took another breath and spoke.
"Gods, it's so good to see you!" Kel squealed stepping forward to embrace Yuki again.
"It's good to see you too Kel and have you changed!" Neal said smiling widely at his friend. "Maybe I might have a chance of returning one of those beatings to you from so long ago."
Kel scowled. "Not a chance Neal. I could whoop your behind all the way from here to Corus with my eyes closed."
Yuki laughed loudly as Neal pouted then released the smile he had been trying to hide and looked behind them at the small line forming, waiting. "True my dear, true. We'll catch up with you in a bit, we're making traffic. It truly is good to see you Kel."
Kel gripped Yuki's hand for a moment then pushed Neal on to talk to Tobe where they both began to exclaim at how much the boy had grown. Kel despaired; it wasn't like he was going to stay a child forever.
Before Kel could even think of attempting to flee, a warm hand grabbed hers to stop her from leaving the line. Dom stood before her again but this time so close that she could faintly smell the woodsy smell of earth, grass and moss that she would always associate with him. Kel wrenched her hand away from him but stayed in the line knowing that it wouldn't be fair to disrupt Fanche and Saefas' big-day for Hope just because of one guest. Skipping the introduction, Kel spoke quickly without emotion as the Yamani's had taught her so long ago on their faraway isle.
"What do you want Domitan?"
"Kel, it's good to see you. I tried to find you the last time you were at the Own's stables but Raoul said -" As soon as he spoke, Kel allowed herself to look into his eyes to watch for truths and lies. The moment his mouth opened and his melodic voice filled her ears again after so long, the hard surface of his eyes broke to release hot streams of bubbling joy to see her. The warm emotion swirled around the cool waters of his eyes to warm it all; like a pan on a fire in a moment his eyes held nothing but steaming and swirling happiness.
"Don't Dom. Is there something you wanted to say? Only, there's a line forming," Kel interrupted him. She really couldn't stand him acting as if nothing had happened last time she had seen him. Dom glanced behind him and for what seemed like the first time noticed the other townspeople waiting.
"I need to talk to you, only for a moment I promise. After that I'll go."
Kel took a moment to think this over. She had known him for so long she ought to listen to what he had to say for just a moment shouldn't she? They had been through a lot together before everything had gone wrong and that counted for something... didn't it?
Before her stood a desolate man with a look of pleading on his face. His eyes were wide and open to her for rejection or agreement. The happiness at seeing her that had sneaked into the back of his eyes, gave him an air of innocence and youth that reminded her so much of a young page Neal. She couldn't refuse him.
"Alright Dom. Give me five minutes and I'll meet you by the bonfire. Ten minutes and then you're gone."
The light from the bonfire did unfair things to Dom's appearance when Kel arrived. One look at Fanche after Dom had removed himself from the line, released Kel of her duties. On her way across Kel collected her thoughts and feelings together and stuffed them out of sight at the back of her mind where they couldn't escape as Dom said what he obviously needed to.
Yamani face firmly in place where she felt it definitely belonged - Kel came to a stop a safe distance from Dom. However as soon as she ceased to move he commenced, advancing like a magnet drawn towards her.
He stood too close again and his smell returned to fill her nostrils. She could see the details of his face which had once been so familiar; the scar above his eyebrow, the line of his top lip, the pattern the stubble made on his cheek. The way that he looked so much the same as her Dom from years before played with Kel's mind and threatened to overwhelm her senses, so she shut her eyes as she spoke. Yamani breathing patterns helped to keep her in check as she spoke.
"You have ten minutes Dom... say what you need to say."
Dom seemed to hesitate for a moment and then began slowly, his rich voice intensifying Kel's anxiety.
"Kel I need your help. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't an emergency and could be helped, but I am in dire need of you and your expertise. I have to take the Third Company into Scanra to free the First Company from a band of bandit slavers. Raoul set them off the record to apprehend them three months ago, but they themselves have been apprehended. Now though he says it's too much of a risk to go after them, so we too are going off the books. There are too many good men in that squad who have risked their life over and over for Tortall for us to leave them there for a fate worse than death. I need you to help me Kel, please?"
Kel opened her eyes wearily but instead of looking up, examined the floor as she thought. She had guessed that it would be something similar to this. The fact that Raoul felt he couldn't send another Company off the record after the First showed just how serious this problem was. Kel would have loved to have helped the Own but her own memories Raoul and his lessons filled her mind. He had taught her well and she felt slightly annoyed in his honour at Domitan's decision to take off after the First alone. She knew Raoul would not let the situation go as it stood and must have a plan – adding to other things she resolutely kept from the front of her mind with her Yamani skill of blankness, her mind was already made up before Dom had finished speaking.
"No." Kel said quietly remaining focused on the rocks and debris at her feet.
"No?" Dom repeated loudly. He sounded angry to Kel but she would need to see his face to be sure, and that in itself was a bad idea. "No? Have you no heart? The entire First Company could be killed and you're refusing to help? All those men have fought besides you countless times before. And you say No?"
How dare he? Kel thought. How dare he question my loyalties, the hypocrite? Anger flared within her at his tone and Kel raised her chin in defiance to meet his gaze square on.
"I have more heart than you Domitan of Masbolle. How dare you come into my friend's naming ceremony and accuse me. You asked for my help and I refused, it's that simple. I cannot help you with such a mission off the record and nor would you ask it of a knight if you respected them in their position. You should know with all your years and experience that the situation will not require you to go charging after the First without back-up."
"The Kel I used to know would have leapt straight in to help. She wouldn't have needed asking," Dom retorted angrily, his face flushing red faintly. "I wouldn't have needed to come and find her; she would know for herself and have devised a scheme already to get every single one of those men away."
Kel's resolve shook as he tried to get at her using her morals and sense of justice but she tried to hold steady. It wasn't the mission, or the other people involved, or the danger, or the trouble she found at the front her mind when following her decision. It was him. Her eyes prickled sharply at the corners as Kel pictured the men from the First who she knew and could this night be somewhere chained to a slaving wagon.
"That Kel is long gone Domitan; replaced by one with more sense and knowledge than to charge into a situation with only truth and honour at her side. You know deep down that Raoul will not let this slide and you risk yourself and your own men in running after the First."
Dom opened his mouth with an angry retort yet Keladry was not finished, and she spoke again quickly before he completed his first word.
"I can't do it Dom." Kel said again quietly then turned slowly and walked back to where Tobe was waiting for her to go back to their lodgings.
Later in her room, Kel was readying for bed with Yuki as they caught up on each other's lives. Neal was downstairs with Fanche discussing the medical supplies he had brought with him from the capital.
Dom's visit had unsettled Kel more than she would have liked and she was curious as to why Neal and Yuki had agreed to bring him with them.
"He's Neal's cousin, Kel." Yuki told her when Kel spoke her mind. "He told us that it was urgent that he spoke with you but you wouldn't respond to any of his letters. Neal readily agreed to bring him along – they haven't seen each other in nearly as long as you and Dom. Every time Neal tries to see him Dom makes some excuse and says that he isn't good enough to be with him at the moment, whatever that means."
"I have no idea," Kel murmured brushing her hair through absent-mindedly as she thought. "Did he travel with you all the way from Corus?"
"No; he met us about half way here. He told me that he had been stationed with Third Company near the border with Scanra doing some preparation work for mid-winter." Yuki paused for a moment from where she was examining a pair of Yamani fans Kel had picked up on her travels last year.
"Kel... talk to me truthfully. I'm not dense enough to have missed your feelings for him all those years ago. What happened? Why do you look on him so coolly now? Do any of your feelings remain?"
At first Kel considered attempting to brush her best friend's wife aside with a comment on her Yamani mask and on the isles idea of proper decorum, but she knew it would never work. Sinking into deep in thought again she took a moment to process each question. Did she still have any feelings left for Sergeant Domitan of Masbolle? Could she feel anything remotely similar to all those years ago, ever again?
"Yuki I honestly have no idea. Right now all I feel is a strange detachment everytime I look at him. Nothing happened between us but I've seen and heard a lot of things I don't agree with in my years as a knight. I'm no longer newly knighted Yuki – I've had experience. Memories haunt my dreams and images hang on the backs of my eyes to taunt me when I shut them. What happened between me and Dom was nothing special or new or different, but it highlights for me everything that has changed in me, in all of us, including Dom, as time passes. What I learnt was disturbing."
Kel paused helplessly, unwillingly to explain to her friend what shameful events she had been part of. What she feared the most was seeing a look of disgust on Yuki's face – no longer one to hide her emotions as she was brought up, she had gradually fell into the Tortallan way of display and conceal in her time as a citizen of the realm. And as a civilian Kel had no doubt that Yuki would only view the situation detrimentally.
"It's hard to describe really. To me Dom used to be perfect, maybe I've just realised that no-one can possibly live up to that standard every single day of their lives. It makes me think about my own character too."
As the conversation lulled into a comfortable silence both women digested these sentiments. Kel finished brushing her hair and removed Griffin from around her waist as Yuki drew her cloak back around her shoulders to cross the courtyard to her lodgings. It was late and no surprise that Yuki was bidding goodnight but Kel knew that her friend was also worried that she had refused to tell her what had really happened, and that she needed to think and discuss with Neal. She had not heard the end of this but it was enough for tonight.
With Yuki gone, Kel finally managed to crawl into her bed after a long day. But sleep evaded her. Images of Dom from the past and that night filled her head, and when she finally did get to sleep, her dreams and nightmares too...
