"Upon further investigation, six semen samples and seventeen strands of hair were found in the vehicle of the culprit."
Most women wouldn't abide this channel. Even during the day they'd be disgusted with it, but in the waning hours of night when they were splayed on satin sheets and savoring a Djarum Black? No, it took a special kind of woman to ignore the Nevada Police Radio.
"DNA evidence has so far been inconclusive, but distinctly colored green hairs are giving the SINPD confidence that the culprit will be located."
That's why Sheriff Jay didn't like most women. They were fragile and needy and they took all his money. Prostitutes, on the other hand, didn't give a shit and were quiet and took a couple hundred at most. Of course, Sheriff Jay's friendship with Daddy Flow made them free. But Sheriff Jay was a nice guy.
"I always give a tip. Of one kind or another." He said, chuckling. The prostitute didn't pay any mind to his joke. "Be careful saying nothing, baby. I might just fall in love."
She snorted and rolled over.
Then his phone rang. "Sheriff Jay, SINPD." He yawned into the speaker. "Who are you and why the fuck are you bothering me?"
"It's some bad shit, Jay. The Agency's East Complex just got busted up." It was Tommy. As usual, Tommy wasn't calling to say hello.
"What? Which building? And is the shipment alright?" Sheriff Jay asked. He noted lovingly and duly that the prostitute wasn't interested in his conversation.
"Not one building, Jay. The entire damn complex. The shipment is as good as gone, too. The whole place is a biohazard." Tommy said.
"A biohazard? What happened?"
"We don't know. Last messages out were about a breach in the anti-teleportation perimeter, gunfire in the halls, and then a power shutdown. After that, the communications were cut."
Sheriff Jay's expression grew grim as Tommy listed off the final messages. "Ellie. Out." Jay said, and she slipped from the covers to the hallway door. "Now, Tommygun, don't be exaggerating right now. It's far too late for so grievous a joke."
"The complex has been on fire since the attack. We've had firemen deluging it for a half hour, but the smoke got so bad that they had to abandon the firetrucks by the gate. There's something wrong here, Jay."
"Is it that their shipment wasn't delivered? Because that seems pretty wrong to me. Twenty percent of two hundred keys, Tommygun, that's quite a bit to lose to some thugs. What happened to our guards?" Sheriff Jay demanded, sitting up now.
"By the toxicity of those fumes, everyone in the complex is dead." Said Tommy.
"And in breaking news," droned the radio, "The East Complex of The Agency has been consumed in black flames. It is unknown at this time how the combustion occurred, as the SINPD has not been forthcoming with information, but there has been much speculation that..." Sheriff Jay turned off the radio. It was no longer a sedative or a distraction.
"Are you heading over?" Tommy asked.
Sheriff Jay said yes and hung up the phone. He was equal parts surprised and upset. Surprised because The Agency, especially the East Complex, was among the most heavily armed entities in Nevada. Ever since Sheriff John had dipped into Agency profits thirty years ago in exchange for The Agency's immunity to the police, it had turned from a small settlement of white collar crime to a sprawling city of wrongdoing. Upset because thirty percent of the SINPD's revenue came from protecting The Agency, and the SINPD protected with vigor. The SINPD received huge portions of cash to protect Agency innovation with the newest weaponry available, which happened to come from Agency innovation in which the SINPD was heavily invested. In fact, The Agency and the SINPD had become so codependent that some considered them to be one and the same. If either one acted, the other reacted. And the Sheriff could only dread the reaction to this.
Sheriff Jay stepped from his 2004 Corvette and slammed the door. Driving up, he had wondered why the police perimeter was so far from the complex itself, but he understood the moment he touched open air. The smoke was irritating even at this distance. Sheriff Jay found Tommy in a group of police, watching the fire with a wet cloth over his mouth. Tommy walked to the Sheriff with a nervous gait and checked to ensure that they were alone.
Before the Sheriff could ask for news, Tommy began to speak. "Jay, Jay, this isn't good. We sent in three officers with gas masks and they haven't come back. Their communication was cut the moment they entered the building. Be straight with me, Jay, do you know who did this? Dammit man! Who did you piss off?"
Sheriff Jay shook his head. "I'm as confused as you. I assume the other Agency complexes are on lockdown?"
Tommy nodded. "No one's getting into North or Base. But this looks like extortion, Jay, and if the orchestrator of this operation approaches you, I think you need to give him what he wants. The group clearly had teleportation technology that outrivaled the Agency's own, so there's no telling what other advantages they might have."
"I'll make note." Said the Sheriff.
Sheriff Jay learned everything he could from those who surrounded the building, but everything he could was very little. He felt beaten and unproductive when he got back into his car, and jumped when the passenger seat spoke. "You have a problem here." Said a darkly dressed figure on the other side of the console.
Sheriff Jay drew a gun and held it towards his passenger. "This is my daddy's old gun. One of the first revolvers; a true antique. I'd hate to waste it on some carjacker."
"I know who's occupying the East Complex. I also know what he wants. Maybe we could make a deal." Said the man, overflowing with confidence. Cocky bastards annoyed the Sheriff.
"Occupying, you say? Now who the hell could be occupying this poisonous deathtrap?"
"Poisonous people. But it's not as much of a deathtrap as you think. The men and women inside are alive and well. Very well, in fact." Said the man.
"I have trouble believing that. Listen, whatever deal you're proposing is worthless to me. I don't take kindly to being threatened, and I'm sure as hell not negotiating with you or your boss. You've bit off more than you can chew here, and I suggest you leave." Sheriff Jay said.
The man may have smirked under his hood. The Sheriff didn't know, but it didn't matter. He'd done this before, and an aggressive messenger didn't concern him. No, Sheriff Jay was excited. The last few years had seen his Nevadan empire prosperous but mostly unopposed. This talk of occupation could give him the chance to flex some Agency muscle, and possibly to ward off future extortion.
As the man stepped from the car and watched the Sheriff drive away, Sheriff Jay grinned and dialed Ellie.
"Hey, Ellie? It's Jay. Meet me back at that hotel. Yeah... I have reason to celebrate."
