Hey everyone! I wanted to thank all those who reviewed and started following this story a lot :D It means a great deal to me, and it motivates me to keep writing :)

So, here's chapter 2 for you guys.

Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin :'(

Please review!


Chapter 2

Let Emrys See

King Cendred sat on his throne, his face sharp, his eyes cold, his posture as rigid as ever. The man before him reported. "The training is going well, Your Majesty. The boy is exceptionally skilled. Two weeks of intense training have proved him worthy of being one of the two Ariad Assassins."

"Pray you are right, Narim, or you will be the first one to be murdered."

"I'm sure of this, my lord." Narim, a big, tough thug with an ugly scar crossing his face exactly at the half, was not usually fearful, but he could not help but cower a little before King Cendred.

"I still need proof of his worth." The royal said.

Narim stammered. "He- he has already killed the sorceress Krisha, the treacherous Gurlias and… He was the one to kill the runaway dragonlord. Sire," he added as an afterthought.

"That may as well have been an accident." The king stated.

"Even when he was nothing more than a soldier in your army, my lord, he already was one of our best swordsmen."

"Then I shall meet him, and he shall fight me." Cendred started to stand up, dismissing the meeting, when Narim rose a hand.

"Please, my lord. It is part of the code of those who are to become Ariad Assassins not to reveal their faces to anyone- save their trainer- even after their training is finished."

Cendred huffed. "Those rules surely don't apply if it's their king ordering to have a meeting."

"I'm sorry, my lord."

Cendred narrowed his eyes. "You better make sure the boy is ready for next week's assassination. I want Arthur Pendragon's head on a platter by then."

Cendred exited the throne room, the enormous wooden doors closing behind him with finality.


"Merlin! What is wrong with you?!" Arthur's voice could be heard all throughout the castle. "You are usually useless, but this! I asked for wine in my goblet, not stew!"

Merlin stared bemusedly at the goblet, tilting his head. He hadn't realized he had served the wine on the plate and spooned the stew from the pot into the goblet.

"I'm sorry, sire."

"Do not 'sorry-sire' me! These last two weeks you've been useless! Ever since we went looking for Balinor something is off about you! What is it?"

"Nothing, sire."

Arthur stood up from his chair and pointed his finger at Merlin's nose. "You're calling me sire- without sarcasm! Something is definitely wrong!"

"I'm fine… Arthur."

"That's better. So, what is it?"

Merlin frowned. It was strange for Arthur to show the least bit of interest over whatever happened to him. He wondered if he should take the chance to…

"I… I was wondering if…" Merlin faltered.

"Yes?"

"If I…" He sighed. "Could I go see my mother for a few days? Sire?" He kept his head low.

"What for?"

"I… Forget I said anything, sire. Would that be all?" Without waiting for an answer, Merlin cleared the table and left the room in a haste.

As the door closed, Arthur frowned. Well, he'd proved it. Something was definitely wrong with his servant.


"Merlin, please pass me the pitcher."

The warlock absentmindedly grunted and obliged.

"The pitcher, Merlin, not your spoonful of stew."

"Huh?"

"My boy, are you alright? You've barely eaten anything…"

"Huh?" Merlin repeated, then realized he was making his mentor concerned and quickly said "I'm fine."

"Why do I get the feeling that those words mean nothing if they come from your mouth, my boy?"

Merlin rolled his eyes. "I was just thinking."

"As if that were supposed to reassure me," the physician joked, earning a half smile from his ward. "There you go, that's better." He leaned forward on the bench. "Now. Will you tell me what is bothering you?"

Merlin hesitated for a second, and then blurted, "I've… hum… I've been thinking about Balinor a lot." When Merlin's voice broke, and his eyes went watery, Gaius stood up to sit next to his ward, and embraced him.

"It is only normal for you to remember your father, Merlin. He was a very good man, he was special, like you. I wish you could have had more time to spend together."

"Me too."

"But I am sure, wherever he is now, he is proud of you, my boy. You are a good man too, and you will achieve great things."

Merlin shook his head and shot to his feet. "How am I supposed to do the great things people expect me to do, when I cannot save the people I love? I lost Will, Freya and Balinor already because I was too much of a coward to use my magic in front of Arthur! How will the time of Albion come if I am so weak, so stupid, and so selfish?" Merlin was openly crying now, and Gaius's heart ached for his ward. He was too kind-hearted, too loyal, and too brave to deserve this suffering. He always doubted and berated himself, sometimes drowning, as he was now- in self-hatred and pity.

Gaius could only see as the great Emrys suffered, to no one else's knowledge, but his. But he could only be there for him, as he always was. Still, Gaius was scared to see the wall Merlin was steadily building around himself. A wall of nonchalance, witty retorts and lopsided smiles that were not heartfelt anymore. Merlin hadn't even talked to Gaius about Balinor's death two weeks ago. This breakdown was the closest his ward had gotten to open his heart to him for a long time.

"Merlin, you always do the best you can-"

"But it's not enough! It's never enough, Gaius! I am not good enough- not for this, not for anything, except making a fool of myself!"

"Merlin-"

Gaius was interrupted again by his ward, who was irritably wiping his tears away. "But that is about to change. I have thought it over. I will at least avenge my father."

A fist clenched around Gaius's heart. He hadn't realized there was darkness growing in his ward's soul. "Revenge will bring you or your father no peace, Merlin."

"You don't know that Gaius." Merlin rushed to get his jacket and put it on, heading for the door with long strides.

"Merlin-"

The warlock suddenly halted before the door with a pensive look on his face, and turned around to face Gaius once more. The look in Merlin's eyes scared the physician.

"Gaius, I need you to promise me you'll tell me the truth."

Gaius gaped. "And why would you ask that? I always tell you the truth about everything, Merlin," he said.

"Because, this time you may want to lie, but I need the truth. Will you promise?"

There was something desperate in Merlin's look that made Gaius nod just once.

"Alright," said the warlock. "Just answer me this. Are you keeping more secrets about my family from me?"

Gaius paled and shook. Merlin stared at him with eyes in slits. "I think that answers it." The servant said bitterly and left the room with quick strides.

"Merlin, why-?" Gaius started, but then realized with a cold heart that his ward had already left.


That afternoon, Prince Arthur observed his servant. The royal could sometimes be oblivious, but the change in Merlin's demeanor was so obvious that even a prat- in Merlin's words- would see it. He worked silently, going around the room picking objects up and putting them back in their place. When Arthur joked and made fun of Merlin, calling him a girl, he didn't even roll his eyes, too absorbed in his seemingly dark thoughts as he was. He didn't answer to Arthur when the prince asked why he needed days off, neither did he say anything when Arthur offered to give them to him. He just went about, doing his duties as the perfect servant should, except for the part in which he deliberately didn't acknowledge that his master was present in the room.

That was when Arthur decided he needed to talk to someone about it. Not that he'd let himself be caught dead caring for his servant, but him being efficient made him twice as irritating as he normally was. He considered talking to Gwen, but his newly found affections for her made her immediately discarded. Then there was Gaius. Maybe he should take the matter to Gaius and make a plan to snap Merlin out of it.

That was why Arthur stood up from where he was- sitting at his desk- and deliberately made his way to Gaius's chambers.

"Upset? Over the death of a stranger?"

"I'm afraid so, sire. Merlin has a kind heart, and it is only natural that he feels the loss of Balinor the most."

"But- but…" Arthur was at loss of words. He couldn't believe that Merlin was being such a big girl over this. He understood that Merlin was weaker holding his emotions back than him, but this! "I'll see what I can do, though I'm not sure if it will be much… Merlin has the emotional stability of a girl."

"Sire." Gaius put his hand on the prince's shoulder. "Don't do anything rash."

Arthur nodded and left.

That evening found Merlin and Arthur in the prince's chambers, with the latter watching his servant like a hawk. "Don't you dare ignore me now, Merlin. I'm actually showing my concern for you."

No answer.

"You could at least be grateful that I am stooping so low." Arthur put his most condescending voice to rouse an answer from Merlin. And he did: Merlin stopped in his tracks where he was hanging a shirt on the closet and glared at Arthur.

"Ah, so now you decide once again that it is lowly to care for a servant. Good," he said through clenched teeth.

"I care about servants whenever I please."

"Right. Are you done, sire? I have more important things on my mind than discussing when you should care for servants." Arthur didn't like this hostile Merlin. His servant had always been outspoken and back-talked to him all the time, but this was different. Merlin looked as if he'd much rather be anywhere else than speaking to Arthur. He'd been grumpy like this for a few days, especially today, and now that Arthur knew- at least partially- the cause for Merlin being sulking around, he wanted more than anything to have his cheeky servant back.

"Is it Balinor?" he asked bluntly, and Merlin stopped in his tracks once again.

"What?"

"Balinor. You haven't gotten over his death, have you?"

Merlin scoffed, but it seemed fake. "Why should I have anything to get over? I don't care about Balinor."

"Except you do."

"Hmph."

"Merlin, I'm trying to help you, here."

"Well, Arthur, as touching as that is, please don't bother. Leave me be."

Arthur opened his mouth to reply something, but the softer part of him noticed the wary way in which Merlin was holding himself, and the paleness of his skin. His eyes didn't even seem completely focused, betraying that his mind was mostly somewhere else.

"You know what, Merlin? Have the afternoon off. You'll be no use to me behaving like this."

Merlin gaped, about to retort, but then the reply died away and a small smile twitched at his mouth. "I… Thank you, sire. Arthur."

Surprisingly enough, Merlin gave him a small nod as a sign of respect, and left the room with half a smile.

Arthur leaned back in his chair, happy that he had managed to at least stir a tiny smile from his servant.


"So, wolfsbane, sticklewood, and…?"

"Lavender."

"Right," Merlin went over the small list of herbs he needed to collect again. He was in a considerably better mood than before, the conversation he'd had with Gaius about Balinor completely forgotten. "You'll tell Arthur I'm doing this, right? I don't want him cracking more jokes about me and taverns any time soon."

Gaius cracked a smile. "I'll make sure I remember. I hope."

"Hope too. Lavender, sticklewood, wolfsbane?"

"That's right. I'll be in the lower town by the time you come back. You'll know where to find me shall you need anything."

Merlin smiled, "Thanks, Gaius," and in a happier mood than he had been that morning, he took his jacket and set for the forest.


The light in the woods had an eerie glint to it. Everything was quiet as Merlin bent down to grasp a stem of sticklewood sprouting near the root of a tree. Picking herbs wasn't Merlin's idea of resting, having the evening off and everything, but his satchel was getting full of herbs already, and Merlin almost smiled at the mental image of Gaius's approving gaze. He reached down again.

And then he heard the voices.

stirring. He said the assassins have almost finished their training.

Emrys must be warned.

Merlin shot to his feet again. The voices… They were druids, he was sure. The voices sounded in his head with urgency.

Prince Arthur will be dead and…

Emrys should have known already!

won't be able to stop it…

Emrys is not invincible…

Albion will not come…

We must help him…

Show him…

Let Emrys see…

Let him…

See.

Merlin suddenly felt dizzy. Everything blurred around him. He felt sick.

Something was pushing against his mind, trying to intrude, but Merlin wouldn't let it.

His head was on fire. Merlin writhed, trying to keep standing but not being able to stand upright. He tried to escape the invisible claws that scraped at him. Something was being forced into his mind, and when the pain became too much, Merlin couldn't block it anymore and he fell backwards on the ground, hard. He smacked his head against the floor, and the outside world was lost to him.

His eyes stared unblinkingly at the sky, his gaze unfocused and his iris swirling in gold.


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