IDisclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns The Host and all of its characters. I just like to take Ian hostage from time to time.
A/N: Once again, a good portion of the dialogue is coming from the book, pages 190 – 287. This one is really freaking long so I'm sorry about that, haha. I've edited it as much as I could but it still ended up being really freaking long. I hope you like it anyways! :) Please let me know what you think, if you like it, hate it, whatever. It'd be nice to know what people think of it! Thank you to FangedLeaf, Andy101, lemonsX, Emmaaa, amethyst-dreams27, Wolf Babies, xXKatiouKitsuneXx, melissaturkey, ChampionShoes and xX.Padfoot.Xx for all the reviews!
Three
I wanted to help the alien but I wasn't sure how I could go about doing it. Jared was hell bent on keeping it hostage in that hole. It was awful, I wouldn't even make a dog stay in there and yet he thought it was perfectly okay to hole her up in there and only let her out once a day. I knew my brother would be a problem too. As soon as he found a hole in Jared's defenses, he would kill that thing as quickly and inhumanely as possible. Jeb was the only one who'd help me. I could only hope he'd be able to get his gun back from Jared. I found him outside the dining area the next morning. "Jeb, we have a problem," I said.
He sighed. "Look, Ian, I already told your brother earlier. This isn't my decision. Jared's the one you want to talk to."
"No," I said. "That's not what I meant. I was talking about that small Seeker, the one in all black."
"What about her?" he asked. Jeb was one of the people that didn't think she was a threat, but he didn't know everything yet. I told him what had happened last night, what the worm inside Melanie's body had told us. "But she doesn't know about the caves?" he asked.
"No, but she might figure out the lines eventually," I said. It was too bad that she that had told it about those. It would be just our luck to have it accidently stumble upon our home.
Jeb frowned at that. "That could be a problem," he said. "We'll have to keep an eye on it. If she comes too close to finding us, we'll just have to take her in, give her to Doc."
"Oh, so we'll give this one to him? How do we know she doesn't belong to anybody?" I said. I couldn't really help myself. It was like some kind of sickness, now that I was thinking of being kind to one of them I couldn't really see the point of carrying on what was happening with Doc. It was pretty strange, I would have thought I'd have the exact opposite reaction since I had just found out that it was possible for the humans infected to resist the parasites but it still felt like it was an exercise in futility. I didn't think there'd ever be a way to get those little buggers out of their hosts.
"It's better than having her find us, isn't it?" he said. "She wouldn't keep our secret like the other one would."
I nodded. The Seeker had seemed obnoxious but she wasn't different like the one in the hole was. "Actually Jeb, I wanted to talk to you about her too."
He scowled at me. "I already told you, Ian. I'm not going to shoot –"
"No," I said, cutting him off. "That wasn't what I meant. It's just… I mean…" I was having a hard time finding the right words. "It's not right, keeping her in that hole. I mean, you have seen how cramped it is in there, right?"
Jeb looked at me for a long moment, like he was trying to figure out if my concern was genuine. Then he said, "I think it's time for a raid, we're running low on almost everything."
I raised an eyebrow at him. What the hell did that have to do with anything? "Alright," I said. "I can gather up a couple people for one."
"No," Jeb shook his head. "You better sit this one out. I'll go talk to Jared about it."
I understood then. He was trying to get Jared out of the caves for a little while because it was the only way he could get her out of that hole. He knew as well as I did that Jared was in too much pain right now to realize that he was treating her unfairly. "You might want to suggest that he take Kyle and Brandt with him," I said. I knew they'd take advantage of Jared's absence if they stayed. But it was also a risk sending them along with him because they might try to influence Jared in his decision. I simply didn't want her to die, especially now that I was feeling massive amounts of guilt over wanting to kill her before.
He nodded, turned around and headed for the storage area. I went into room and grabbed one of those nasty rolls along with the soup that was so prevalent in the caves. Jared came in around twenty minutes later and grabbed Kyle and Brandt. They were on their way out of the caves soon after that. I stayed in the kitchen and made bread with Trudy and Geoffrey. We worked in silence until Sharon came storming in, yelling about something. I couldn't really make out what she was saying until she said, "He can't just let it walk around like that! What's to stop it from running away now? I can't believe he would be so stupid!" Oh. I guess Jeb had let it out of the hole now. I hoped he had his gun with him.
Doc came in after her, grabbing her arms as he tried to calm her down. "I don't think she will try to escape. And you heard what Kyle and Ian said, there's no one out there anymore to help her if she does get out."
Sharon scowled at him and twisted out of his reach. She must not be taking too well to the fact that he didn't hate the parasite as much as she did. "And you must have forgotten when they mentioned that there was one still out there looking for it."
"Sharon, I really doubt she will even try to –" he tried to say but she interrupted him.
"How can you defend it?!" she said. "I heard you talking to him! I can't believe you're going to guard it for him! The thing deserves to die, Eustace!"
"No it doesn't," he said softly. "It has yet to do anything to us."
"Except erase my cousin, you mean?" she asked scathingly. Doc looked like he was at a loss for words. She smiled in grim satisfaction and said, "You better make sure you sleep lightly tonight." Then she turned and stormed out, probably looking for her mother to back her up.
Doc groaned silently. He finally seemed to notice the rest of us in the room and he blushed slightly. "Ian, can I have a word?" he asked once he had gotten over his embarrassment. I nodded and followed him out of the room. "I'm sure you've heard that Jeb has let her out of the storage area. I just wanted to warn you now that even though Jared is gone, she will still be well protected."
I shook my head. The fact that they all thought I still wanted to hurt her only made me feel worse. I couldn't believe that I'd become such a monster. When I was younger, I had admired superheroes like Superman or Batman because they had always done the right thing, even in the worst circumstances. I had always hoped I would grow up to be like them one day and yet here I was in the worst possible circumstances, making all the wrong choices. I had to change, do my penance for what I had almost succeeded in doing. "No," I said. "I want to help you both."
"What?" he said. I could see his disbelief clearly.
"I don't want to hurt her," I said. "I'm not going to. I want to help you guys guard her. Just because Kyle and Brandt are gone doesn't mean someone else won't try and be a hero."
He was looking at me suspiciously. Doc was a kind man but he wasn't stupid or gullible. "Really?" he asked skeptically.
"Yes. You have my word," I said.
He nodded then. Doc was a good friend and I knew he would trust me after that. "I'll talk to Jeb about it. But first I have to go fix this," he said, nodding his head in the direction that Sharon had gone in.
I chuckled softly. "Good luck with that," I said. Sharon and Maggie were relatively new to the caves but they were pretty easy to read. They were both bad-tempered, stubborn, and could hold a grudge for longer than was healthy. He would have to do some serious groveling if he wanted to get into their good graces by the end of the day.
Which, I guess, he had. By lunchtime, he was sitting with Sharon and Maggie and they seemed to be getting along perfectly fine. I was sitting close by and I didn't hear them mention Melanie or the parasite inside of her once. Well, at least they didn't until Jeb walked in with it.
The whole room was silent once her bruised face appeared. I winced again. It was awful to see. Not only were my hands on her neck but her face was a strange mixture of blue, black, yellow and tan. Her hair was a tangled mess that stuck up in the weirdest places, like the back of her head. And she was covered in dirt from head to toe. And to top it all off, she simply looked like she smelled. It was pretty disgusting, actually. Jeb looked around at everyone, clearly annoyed at our reaction. "Everybody full so quickly?'
"Lost our appetites," Maggie muttered. I had to hold in a laugh. It wasn't very nice but I think anyone would have lost their appetites after seeing her.
"How 'bout you?" he asked, turning to the alien. "You hungry?" A lot of people groaned at this. They didn't think we should be wasting food on her since they all assumed she would be dead soon. I let out an annoyed sigh. I still couldn't believe that we had all become so callous. She shook her head, looking incredibly scared. She didn't look comfortable being around this many people. "Well, I am," Jeb said. He walked down between the counters and nodded at me, so I guess Doc must have talked to him. She stayed by the doorway, looking like she was ready to take off at any moment. Everyone watched her like she was some kind of animal in a zoo. I couldn't help but feel bad for her then.
Jeb walked back to her and said, "Well, let's just keep on movin'. Nobody seems to be able to concentrate on their lunch. Easily distracted, this set." I smirked at this, but it slid off my face when Jamie ran up to her. I thought I knew the pain he must have been feeling at that moment. It must have been hard looking into Melanie's eyes and knowing that it wasn't Melanie that was staring back at him. And she looked like she was in pain too as she stared at the kid, but it was easy to see that it was for him rather than for herself. "Whatcha need, kid?" Jeb asked.
"Just wondering what you were doing," he said. He couldn't keep his curiosity out of his voice. And when he looked at her, he didn't look angry. It honestly baffled my mind. Out of everyone in this room, Jamie was the one who had the most reasons to hate the thing inside his sister but he didn't look like he did at all.
"Takin' her for a tour of the place. Just like I do with any newcomer." No one in the room liked Jeb's answer, even me. It was wrong to hurt her or treat her inhumanely but I don't think he should have acted like she was just another human being.
"Can I come?" Jamie asked. He actually wanted to spend time with her? It didn't make any sense to me.
Sharon was shaking her head fervently, looking outraged but Jeb didn't pay any attention to her. "Doesn't bother me… if you can mind your manners."
"No problem," he said, shrugging.
Jeb nodded. "Let's go." And then they were out of the room. There was another moment of silence before everyone starting whispering. None of them liked the fact that Jeb was being hospitable to the parasite and they were even angrier over the fact that he was letting Jamie near it. Doc looked at me and I knew what he wanted right away. We would have to follow them, make sure that Jeb was staying on alert. There were enough people that knew she was out walking around now and, if I was right about the fact that she wouldn't even try to defend herself, there were quite a few who would be able to kill her and wouldn't think twice about it. We both got up and followed them.
They were on their guard though. The first thing she did when she heard us coming was grab Jamie and push him behind her so that he was out of harm's way. Jeb swung around at the same moment and pointed the gun at us. We held our hands up in surrender. "We can mind our manners, too," Doc said.
Jeb narrowed his eyes at me. Doc might think I was trustworthy but Jeb wasn't entirely convinced. "I don't mean any trouble, Jeb. I'll be just as mannerly as Doc."
"Fine," Jeb said curtly, lowering the rifle. "Just don't test me. I haven't shot anybody in a real long time and I sort of miss the thrill of it." She gasped and looked absolutely horrified at what Jeb had said.
We all started to laugh then. "It's a joke," Jamie explained when she didn't join in. She didn't look like she found it funny at all.
"Well, the day's wasting," Jeb said, sounding more than a little grumpy. "You'll all have to keep up cause I'm not waiting on you."
We followed them as Jeb showed her the second field, the rec room, and the hospital wing. She had the strangest reaction to that part of the tour. She froze in place, her joints locked and she stared in horror at Doc. We were all confused by her reaction but Jamie was the first to understand. "No," he said, reaching up to touch her elbow. I winced; I didn't understand how he could touch her so easily. She had taken his sister away from him. How was he not the least bit upset? "No, it's okay. Really. Right, Uncle Jeb? It's okay, right?"
Jeb caught on then. "Sure it is. Just showing you my place, kid."
"What are you talking about?" I asked, a little annoyed that I was apparently the only one who didn't get it.
Jamie ignored me and kept trying to comfort her. "Did you think we brought you here on purpose, for Doc? Because we wouldn't do that. We promised Jared."
"Oh!" I couldn't help laughing at that. That would have been clever, making her think we were giving her a tour just so we could get her down here. "That wasn't a bad plan. I'm surprised I didn't think of it."
Jamie scowled at me and patted her arm in comfort. "Don't be scared."
"So this big room here is fitted up with a few cots in case anyone gets sick or hurt. We've been pretty lucky on that count. Doc doesn't have much to work with in an emergency. Your folks threw out all our medicines when they took over things. Hard to get our hands on what we need." Jeb continued to explain the room to her but I couldn't pay attention. Jamie seemed like he honestly wanted to protect the worm inside of his sister. I couldn't understand it. If only everyone else had had his reaction to her, I doubt she would have been so scared of us.
"What do you know about alien medicine?" I heard Doc ask. I shook my head and watched her then. It would be nice to hear about this. Doc had been so cut up over the fact that he didn't have a way to help anyone here. I knew he would have been glad to know a little bit about how the aliens were treating people, especially since their medicines worked so completely. It would have made life a lot easier for him, at least. But she didn't say anything. She gave him the same blank stare she had given Jared when he first asked about the Seeker.
"Oh, you can talk to Doc," Jeb said. "He's a pretty decent guy, all things considered."
Doc smiled at that but she just shook her head. That didn't sit right with me. If we were going to go to all this trouble to keep her alive, she could at least try to help us. "She's not giving away trade secrets," I said, my displeasure evident in my voice. "Are you, sweetheart?"
"Manners, Ian," Jeb barked at me. I frowned at him.
"Is it a secret?" Jamie asked curiously.
She shook her head again. We were all completely confused then. She took a deep breath and whispered, "I'm not a Healer. I don't know how they – the medications – work. Only that they do work – they heal, rather than merely treating symptoms. No trial and error. Of course the human medicines were discarded."
I had to chastise myself for my anger then. It wasn't that she didn't want to share, she just didn't have anything to share. It was kind of strange, actually, how much she wanted to tell us about the souls even though we had not been kind to her in the least.
"Your kind didn't change too much of what we left behind," Jeb said thoughtfully. He was trying to figure them out again. It was something he did often, although I have no idea why. Who cares what the aliens were thinking? I'm sure that they had no reason that could easily excuse what they had done. "Just the medical stuff, and the spaceships instead of planes. Other than that, life seems to go on just the same as ever… on the surface."
"We come to experience, not to change," she whispered. "Health takes priority over that philosophy, though." Jeb nodded at that and I could finally see why he wanted her around. She knew a lot about the parasites, mostly because she was one, and that knowledge could really help us. It's like Sun Tzu said in The Art of War, if you know your enemy as well as yourself then you need not fear a hundred battles. We could do for a reduction, however small, in the fear we were all feeling. He told Doc and me to get lost then so he could finish the tour in private. It was then that I realized he was going to let her sleep in Jared's room. I knew I had wanted her out of that hole but that didn't mean I wanted to have some kind of slumber party with her. I went off to find someone that would let me room with them.
Jeb continued to bring her around for the next couple days. He was trying to let everyone get used to her. He gave her a human name, Wanda, and made her work with us. He seemed to think everyone would get over it pretty quickly but I disagreed. I saw the way that many people looked at her, saw it because I had to stop myself from looking at her that way, and I knew that even if they stopped grumbling whenever she walked into a room they still wouldn't accept her. Some might in time, but there were others would never stop objecting to her presence here. And they still wanted her dead, so I took it upon myself to follow her around almost everywhere, especially when Jeb stopped bringing his gun around with him. He must have thought his plan was working but I thought he was just being stupid.
Jeb had other theories too, ones that filled me with hope that I wouldn't let myself feel. He was convinced that Melanie was still alive in there, conscious and actually talking to Wanda. It would have explained why she had trouble remembering certain things, like Jared's cabin. I wanted more than anything to know if it was true but I couldn't bring myself to ask her. The inevitable negative answer would only crush me further and I think I had fallen far enough in the past month. There was a part of me that thought she was just filling Jeb's head with lies so that he would keep protecting her but another part of me didn't think she was capable of that. It was quite easy to pick up on her lies simply because they were so obvious and I knew Jeb was intelligent enough to know if she was telling the truth. And Jamie seemed to believe Jeb's theory too. Wanda wouldn't lie to him, she seemed to care about him as if he were her own flesh and blood. She looked at him the same way she looked at Jared, like she would be more than willing to throw herself in front of a bus if he asked her to, or she would step in between him and a very angry Kyle just keep him safe. It was hard to believe that she would intentionally hurt him just for her own gain. After observing them for a while, I decided to throw myself into protecting her even more. It would be wrong to let anyone kill her if Melanie was still in there somewhere. And Jamie seemed to like Wanda just as much as he liked Melanie. I couldn't let him live through losing his sister twice.
I think I might have been annoying her, actually. I was everywhere she was, in the fields, in the dining area, and even back in my old room so I would know if someone was going to try to get to her while she slept. She always acted so skittish around me, like she thought I was going to finish what I had started on her first night at any second. She finally spoke up when I was accompanying her down to the hospital wing so she could deliver a message to Doc. She had looked so scared when we got there, like she thought I was going to strap her to a cot so that Doc could slice her head open and try to pull her out of Melanie's body. On the way back, she said, "Ian?"
It was the first time she had spoken to me directly. I was surprised she didn't sound angry. I mean, I did try to kill her. But she only seemed scared. "Yes?"
"Why haven't you killed me yet?"
I shouldn't have laughed at that. "That's direct," I said once I had calmed down.
"You could, you know," she said softly. "Jeb might be annoyed, but I don't think he'd shoot you." It was almost like she was trying to convince me to do it. I couldn't understand.
"I know," I said. It pained me to think that she still thought of me as someone who would kill her and not think twice about it. I had to explain it to her. I didn't want her to think of me that way anymore. "It doesn't seem fair. I've been thinking about it a lot, and I can't see how killing you would make anything right. It would be like executing a private for a general's war crimes. Now, I don't buy all of Jeb's crazy theories – it would be nice to believe, sure, but just because you want something to be true doesn't make it that way. Whether he's right or wrong, though, you don't appear to mean us any harm. I have to admit, you seem honestly fond of that boy. It's very strange to watch. Anyway, as long as you don't put us in danger, it seems…. cruel to kill you. What's one more misfit in this place?"
She stared at me in shock, like she had hadn't expected me to be concerned with things like fairness and cruelty. I winced at that thought. "If you don't want to kill me, then why did you come with me today?" she asked.
I didn't want to scare her with the truth but I had to tell her. She had to be on her guard at all times now that Jeb was letting her walk around unprotected. "I'm not sure that… Jeb thinks things have calmed down, but I'm not completely sure about that. There's still a few people… Anyway, Doc and I have been trying to keep an eye on you when we can. Just in case. Sending you down the south tunnel seemed like pushing your luck to me. But that's what Jeb does best – he pushes luck as far as it will go."
"You… you and Doc are trying to protect me?" she asked in shock. She must have felt a little stupid then. She had spent all this time being completely terrified of us and we were the ones trying to protect her.
"Strange world, isn't it?"
It took her a few seconds to answer. "The strangest."
I laughed at that. I had heard her telling Jamie things about Spiders with three brains, bears making ice sculptures, and sea creatures with a thousand eyes but it made sense for Earth – the place where murderers turned into protectors and children were more open-minded than adults – to be the strangest one she had been to.
Another week passed and soon Jeb got her to talk to us about the souls. It took a lot of encouraging, usually Doc or I would have to pester her until she finally answered but eventually she got the hang of it. She hated having everyone's attention on her so she would usually do it after dinner so she could make rolls while she talked. It seemed to get her mind off the fact that everyone was listening to her intently. There were times when people got offended by what she said, like when she had mentioned that the souls could live forever if they had healthy hosts, so I tried to sit as close to her as I could. I wanted to be able to jump in if someone got a little bit too offended. It was actually really fascinating to hear about what was out there in the universe. Humans had been so arrogant for so long, assuming that we were the only intelligent beings in the universe, but there were millions of others out there even more intelligent than we were. There was a core group of people who liked listening to her too. Lily, Wes, Trudy, Geoffrey, Heath and Walter had all come to accept Wanda, even consider her a friend. It was good to know that there were other good people here in the caves, we weren't all blinded by hatred like Sharon and Maggie. And I was coming to see Wanda as a friend as well. I couldn't believe I had ever seen her as a threat. It was so obvious now that she would never want to harm any of us, especially Jamie.
It was hard to think that things would change since they had only just calmed down, but I knew they would as soon as soon as Jamie went running off in excitement during one of her talks. She had been in the middle of telling us about the dolphins, the soul's newest acquisitions, but stopped so she could go after him. I reached out and grabbed her wrist. "Wait," I said. It wasn't safe for her to go out there right now. If Jared and Kyle were back, they would be surprised that she was still alive but they would waste no time in fixing what they saw as a huge problem. Plus, there was no way of knowing if they had brought test subjects back for Doc. I didn't know her all that well but I didn't think Wanda would like that. "He'll be back. Tell us more about the Dolphins."
"What's going on out there?" she asked curiously. We could hear them talking now, probably wanting to have a nice meal with their friends after a long raid.
I shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe Jeb…" I didn't have it in me to lie to her so I shrugged again. This was going to be bad, I could tell. I knew how my brother would react, he would lash out and probably try to hurt her, but no one could predict what Jared would do. And her life was in his hands.
She shrugged too and starting talking about the Dolphin's grandparents again. She stopped once she realized that everyone was paying attention to the people in the doorway instead of her. Jamie was clinging to Jared, who was covered in dirt from head to toe. Jeb was standing behind them, his eyes narrowed at Jared. He must have been as anxious as I was to see his reaction.
"Here we go," I muttered.
Jared clenched his fist and took a step forward, like he was getting ready to hit something, probably Wanda. His voice was flat when he said, "What is the meaning of this, Jeb?"
Jamie didn't notice the anger in Jared's face. "Wanda is teaching us all about the universe," he said. He sounded excited, like he was so happy to finally have the both of them together in one room again.
"Wanda?" he snarled. He couldn't believe that we had given her a name and welcomed her into our company. It was hard to look at him and see what I had been, to know that I had had that same hated in my eyes just a few short weeks ago. The rest of them came up behind him then and everyone went up to greet them, guilty expressions on their faces. It was ridiculous how they were letting Jared make them feel bad for being decent human beings.
"It's going to be okay, Wanda," I whispered. I was lying, of course. I didn't know what Jared or Kyle would do. She looked at me as if she knew I was lying.
And then my brother walked in the room. "What the hell, people?" he yelled, shoving his way towards her. "You're letting it tell you its lies? Have you all gone crazy? Or did it lead the Seekers here? Are you all parasites now?" A lot of people looked ashamed and I shook my head at them. They definitely shouldn't be taking lessons on morals from my brother, of all people.
"Easy, Kyle," Walter said feebly.
Kyle ignored him and kept walking towards Wanda, his face full of rage and hatred. I stepped in between them quickly and said, "Things have changed while you were gone, brother."
Kyle stopped in disbelief. "Did the Seekers come then, Ian?"
"She's not a danger to us," I said. I knew he wouldn't believe me.
He ground his teeth together, the sound echoing through the whole room. Then he reached into his pocket. "Don't get in his way, Ian," Wanda whispered behind me.
I ignored her. Of course she wouldn't want someone to get hurt because of her, but there was no way I was going to let her get in between us. Kyle had no right to harm her. He had found his flashlight by then and he pointed it at my face. I didn't flinch away from it. I wanted him to see that my eyes were still the same, that I was still me. "So, what, then?" he half-shouted. "You're not a parasite. How did it get to you?"
"Calm down and we'll tell you about."
"No," Jared said. He walked slowly over to us with Jamie clinging onto his hand. The poor kid looked completely confused, like he simply couldn't understand why Jared and Kyle would be so angry. "I don't think anyone needs to calm down. Jeb, give me the gun." I felt my eyes widen in horror. Jared had made his decision and we couldn't stop him now. But it was the wrong one.
Everyone tensed at his words, including me. I was trying to think of a way to get her out there so Jeb and Doc could talk some sense into him. "Don't happen to have it on me," Jeb said.
Jared glared at him and then turned around and took another step towards her. "Fine. It will be slower this way, though. It would be more humane if you were to find that gun fast."
I angled myself so I was standing between him and Wanda. He would have to get through me before he could put one finger on her. "Please, Jared, let's talk," I said.
"I think there's been too much talk," Jared said, practically growling at me. "Jeb left this up to me and I've made my decision." Jeb cleared his throat and Jared whirled around to glare at him again. "What?" he said. "You made the rule."
"Well, now, that's true," Jeb said.
Jared turned back to me and said, "Ian, get out of my way." I planted my feet. I was not going to stand aside and let him hurt her.
"Well, well, hold on a second," Jeb said. "If you recall, the rule was that whoever the body belonged to got to make the decision."
"And?" Jared said impatiently. It was clear he just wanted to get this over with so things could go back to the way they had been before Wanda had come here.
"Seems to me like there's someone here with a claim just as strong as yours. Maybe stronger," Jeb finished. That was smart, to let Jamie get a say in Wanda's fate. Jamie would never let anyone harm her.
It took Jared a couple minutes to comprehend Jeb's meaning, and then he looked down at Jamie, who was still clinging to him. "You can't, Jared," Jamie said, looking like he was on the verge of tears. "You wouldn't. Wanda's good. She's my friend! And Mel! What about Mel? You can't kill Mel! Please! You have to –" he broke off then as his voice cracked in pain.
Jeb was almost smirking. I hoped his smugness wouldn't provoke Jared any further. "So, you can see that Jamie's not in agreement. I figure he's got as much say as you do."
Jared stared at Jamie in horror. It must have been worse than he had realized. He had never wanted Jamie to get mixed up in any of this. Hell, he hadn't even wanted Jamie to know that Wanda was here in the first place. "How could you let this happen, Jeb?"
"There is a need for some talk," Jeb said, avoiding his question. "Why don't you take a breather first, though? Maybe you'll feel more up to conversation after a bath."
Jared glared at Jeb, his eyes full of betrayal as the tension slowly leaked out of the room. He pried Jamie's hands off of his arm and barked out, "Kyle." They both turned and walked out of the room, probably to scheme up ways to get to her while they bathed. All of the others who had been on the raid left with them, shooting us all glances full of confusion and anger. I had to remind myself that they simply didn't get it. They were letting their general hatred of the souls cloud their judgment. If they knew Wanda, they would understand why we wanted to protect her. But a lot of the others, the ones who had been here and who knew her, left too, still looking extremely guilty. A few stayed though. I was happy to see that Heath, Geoffrey, Trudy, Lily, Wes, and Walter were all willing to stand up to the rest of them for what was right.
Once we couldn't hear them anymore, I let out a breath in relief. "Whew! That was close. Nice thinking, Jeb."
"Inspiration in desperation. But we're not out of the woods yet," he said.
"Don't I know it! You didn't leave the gun anywhere obvious, did you?" It would be just like my brother to go searching for it.
"Nope. I figured this might be comin' on soon."
"That's something, at least." So they would have to do it with their hands if they wanted to. It would be a lot easier to protect her this way.
Wanda wasn't even worried about herself, though. She was staring at Jamie in horror. He was trembling, obviously upset. She walked over to him and patted him on the back while he threw his arms around her waist. "It's okay," she said, her lie as clear as if it were written across her face.
"He won't hurt you. I won't let him," Jamie said, trying not to cry. I knew Jared was only trying to protect him but I hoped he would realize quickly that he was only hurting him more by trying to get rid of Wanda.
"Shh," she said.
I thumped him on the back. "Don't agonize over it, kid," I said. "You're not in this alone." I knew that I would do whatever I could to keep her safe, and I'm sure the others left in the room felt the same way.
"They're just shocked, that's all," Trudy said. "Once we get a chance to explain, they'll see reason."
"See reason? Kyle?" Heath muttered in disbelief. I had to hold in a laugh at that. He was right, my brother wouldn't be able to see reason even if it danced naked in front of him.
"We knew this was coming," Jeb muttered. "Just got to weather it. Storms pass."
"Maybe you ought to find that gun," Lily said calmly. "Tonight might be a long one. Wanda can stay with Heidi and me –"
"I think it might be better to keep her somewhere else," I said. If I knew my brother as well as I thought I did, he would look in everyone's room until he found her. "Maybe in the southern tunnels? I'll keep an eye on her. Jeb, wanna lend me a hand?"
"They wouldn't look for her with me," Walter offered.
"I'll tag along with you, Ian. There's six of them," Wes said.
"No," she said softly. She looked horrified at the idea of inconveniencing any of us. She would never survive the night if she was going to be this selfless. "No. That's not right. You shouldn't fight with each other. You all belong here. You belong together. Not fighting, not because of me." She carefully pulled Jamie off of her. I couldn't believe it, she was going to go find one of them so she could keep the peace. Once again, I couldn't understand how anyone would want to harm someone this good. "I just need a minute to myself. I need to be alone. And you should have a chance to discuss this without me listening. It's not fair – having to discuss strategy in front of the enemy."
"Now, don't be like that," Jeb said. He must have objected as much as I did to her calling herself the enemy.
"Let me have some time to think, Jeb," she said. She took a step out of Jamie's reach so he couldn't stop her but I put my hand on her shoulder to keep her there. She had to see reason.
"It's not a good idea for you to be wandering around by yourself."
She leaned close and whispered, "Why prolong the inevitable? Will it get easier or harder for him?" Then she ducked under my hand and sprinted out of the room. I couldn't believe she was willing to do this just because she wanted to make it easier on Jamie. Like there was any way he would welcome her death. If Jared was the one to kill her, Jamie would never forgive him. It would have been better if she just let us protect her.
"Wanda!" Jamie called after her.
"Shhh, kid!" Jeb said quietly. "We don't want them to know that she's alone right now." We all watched him then, waiting for him to make a decision on what to do. Finally, he said, "A couple of us will go looking for her. If you find her, come find me and I'll bring the gun. Everyone else should just go on and act like everything is completely normal, okay?" They all nodded. Jamie, Wes, and Lily all went looking for Wanda while Trudy, Geoffrey, Heath and Walter all went back to their rooms. Jeb turned to me then and said, "It would be best if we kept Kyle distracted for a while."
I nodded. I ran quickly down to the hospital wing to warn Doc about what was happening. When I got there, I noticed that there were four people laying on the cots that I had never seen before. Doc was standing over a fifth one that was on his makeshift operating table, looking torn. "So they brought more back," I said softly.
Doc nodded. "It's a shame Wanda doesn't know more about Healing. She would know how to do this, then."
I scowled. Somehow, I didn't think Wanda would tell us how to take a soul out even if she knew the procedure. Befriending her must have really messed me up because I couldn't even agree with doing this anymore. "Are you sure you want to do this, Doc?" I asked. He was always so upset when he failed. He hated knowing that he was the cause of death for the hosts.
"I have to, Ian. We need hope," he said softly. "Do you mind watching them while I work on this one?"
I nodded and pulled up a chair. Someone always had to watch to make sure that the others stayed unconscious. Once, one of them had woken up, realized what we were doing and shredded his brain before we could stop him. I had only been there for a few minutes when Kyle and Brandt walked in. Kyle glared at me in silence. He must be more than annoyed that I had stopped him from hurting Wanda. I was worried when Jared didn't follow soon after them. "Where's Jared?" I asked quietly.
"Hopefully killing your new pet," Kyle sneered. "Tell me, Ian. How did it manage to brainwash you?"
"It didn't brainwash anyone," I said defensively. "Wanda is –"
He interrupted me. "How can you call it by a human name? It's not human, Ian! It would gladly sell us all down the river to the Seekers if it could!"
"She's not like that!" I said. I'm not sure why but I had the strangest need to defend Wanda to my brother.
He shook his head. "How anyone ever thought you were the smarter one, I don't know."
I smirked. "That's because my brain isn't the size of a pea, Kyle."
"Just because your head is bigger doesn't mean that your brain is, Ian," he retorted. I knew this was our way of making up. It wouldn't last for long but it was nice to have a truce at the moment, especially since I had told Jeb I would keep him busy until they were able to find Wanda.
I was about to answer him when Jared walked in. He was a lot cleaner than he had been before but there was dried blood on his mouth, chin and shirt. My stomach dropped when I realized that he must have found Wanda. Someone had to have been with her because she wouldn't have hit him back. I could only hope that they had succeeded in stopping him.
"What happened to you?" Kyle asked.
Jared shook his head at Kyle. "Did it work?" he asked Doc, who was finishing up with the person he had on the table.
Doc shook his head, his face mangled with his pain. "I don't know if I can keep doing this," he whispered.
"You have to," Jared said softly. Of course he was going to encourage Doc, he had a reason for Doc to find the way to get the parasites out now. But the idea of taking Wanda out of Melanie made me sick to my stomach. I watched in silence as Doc worked on two more of them before I couldn't take it anymore.
"I'll start digging," I said softly. Kyle and Brandt followed me out while Jared stayed behind to comfort Doc, who was getting more and more upset. He had been so sure that he was close last time but it didn't look like he was making any progress at all. We dug the graves in silence, and then brought the bodies out. It was hard to see Doc then, he was covered in blood and that strange silvery substance that the souls were made up of, half drunk and crying. It was hard on him, having to do things like that but it was like he said, we needed the hope that someday we would find a way to get them out of their human bodies. We didn't finish burying them until it was the middle of the morning.
I hurried back in afterwards. I wanted to make sure that I got inside before Kyle and Jared did. I had to find out if Wanda had made it through the night and if she had, I had to keep her out of the way until they both passed out. I was incredibly relieved when I ran into her and Jamie in the main field room. "There you are," I said softly. I grabbed her by the elbow and dragged her into one of the dark tunnels around the room. It was the strangest thing, once Wanda heard Jared's voice, she actually started to strain against my hold. I couldn't understand why she'd want to see the man who was so eager to kill her. We stayed hidden in the darkness until their voices faded away and then we were back out in the larger room. It was then that I noticed she was carrying a large bin of dishes. "No dishes now," I said. Jared and Kyle would have to clean up soon. "Let's give them a chance to clean up and move on." She turned her head towards the river room and that was when I saw what Jared must have done to her last night.
The side of her face was covered in dried blood and there was an array of black, yellow and blue forming a brand new bruise. I couldn't explain the rage that was boiling inside of me, or the strange urge I had to go beat his head in. Logically, Jared had every right to be upset with Wanda. She had taken over the body of the woman he loved and now he had to see her and be reminded of his pain every day. But she didn't deserve it. Wanda was one of the sweetest people I had ever met and she wouldn't intentionally hurt anyone. And I was pretty sure that if Jared mentioned how much it upset him to see Melanie's face everyday, she would have gone out into the desert to die just so that he wouldn't have to see her. She was so inherently good that I couldn't see why anyone would ever want to hurt her. I raised my hand to touch it but she flinched and I dropped it. "That makes me so sick," I said. "And worse, knowing that if I hadn't stayed behind, I might have been the one to do it…" I was sure that if I hadn't been able to observe her these past few weeks, I would feel the same way as my brother.
She shook her head. "It's nothing, Ian." Of course she would try to downplay her injury.
"I don't agree with that," I muttered. I turned to Jamie and said, "You probably ought to get to school. It's better that we get everything back to normal as soon as possible."
Jamie groaned. "Sharon will be a nightmare today."
"Time to take one for team," I grinned. "I don't envy you."
He sighed and said, "Keep an eye on Wanda."
"Will do." I watched as he left reluctantly. It was good to know that he cared about protecting Wanda just as much as I did… or maybe he just didn't want to be around Sharon today. When he was out of sight, I grabbed the bin of dirty dishes from her. "Here, give me those."
"They weren't too heavy for me," she said.
I smiled again. "I feel silly standing here with my arms empty while you lug these around. Chalk it up to gallantry. C'mon – let's go relax somewhere out of the way until the coast is clear." She looked confused at my statement, like she wasn't sure what gallantry was or how it applied to her. I would have explained it but we had to get out of the big room quickly before Jared and Kyle finished eating. I lead her all the way to the second field, and then I made my way to the middle of it. I didn't stop until we were completely hidden by the cornstalks. I set the dishes down and then I laid down in the dirt. The exhaustion was starting to catch up to me now that I knew she was safe.
"Well, this is out of way," she said as she sat down next to me. "But shouldn't we be working?"
"You work too hard, Wanda. You're the only one who never takes a day off," I said. It was like she thought working so hard would make up for the fact that she was a soul. It was ridiculous.
"It gives me something to do," she lied. It was so easy to spot her lies now, it was actually kind of amusing.
"Everyone is taking a break today, so you might as well."
She stared at me for a long moment and said, "You look like you've been working."
I really hoped she wasn't going to ask me what I had been doing. I didn't want to lie to her. "But I'm resting now."
"Jamie won't tell me what's going on."
It was better this way. I was glad she wasn't going to ask me directly because it made it easier to step around that particular minefield. Besides, there was something else I was thinking about right. "No. And neither will I. It's nothing you want to know anyway," I said, sighing sadly. I knew she wouldn't like what Doc was doing and she was scared enough of him as it was. "It's not really fair, seeing as I won't answer your question, but do you mind if I ask you one?"
"Go ahead."
I stared down at the ground, suddenly feeling stupid about what I was about to say. "I know you're not a liar. I know that now. I'll believe you, whatever your answer is. I didn't buy Jeb's story before, but he and Doc are pretty convinced… Wanda? Is she still in there with you? The girl whose body you wear?"
She looked at me as if she were deciding exactly how much she could tell me. I hoped she knew that she could trust me now. "Yes," she said. "Melanie is still here."
I nodded. It felt like one of my greatest hopes had come true. There was a way to stay aware, to not be erased when one of those worms was inserted into you. "What is it like? For you? For her?"
"It's… frustrating, for us both. At first I would have given anything to have her disappear the way she should have. But now I… I've gotten used to her." She smiled and said, "Sometimes it's nice to have the company. It's harder for her. She's like a prisoner in many ways. Locked away in my head. She prefers that captivity to disappearing, though."
"I didn't know there was a choice." But then again, there was so much I didn't know about the souls. Like how some of them were much better at being decent than most humans were.
"There wasn't in the beginning. It wasn't until your kind discovered what was happening that any resistance started. That seems to be the key – knowing what's going to happen. The humans who were taken by surprise didn't fight back."
"So if I were caught?" I asked curiously.
She looked at my face like she was appraising me. "I doubt you would disappear. Things have changed, though. When they catch full-grown humans now, they don't offer them as hosts. Too many problems. Problems like me. Going soft, getting sympathetic to my host, losing my way…"
That didn't sit right with me. I didn't like to think about what would happen if I was caught, it was too unpleasant, but I couldn't stop myself from wondering what they would do with me if they wouldn't offer me as a host. Would they just kill me or would they torture me until I told them where everyone was? I didn't want to ask, because I really didn't want to know, but my curiosity did me in. "What would they do with me, then, if they caught me now?"
"They'd still do an insertion, I think. Trying to get information. Probably they'd put a Seeker in you." I shuddered at the thought. "But they wouldn't keep you as a host. Whether they found the information or not, you would be… discarded." She didn't look like she liked the idea very much. It was then that I realized that we had crossed some line here, surrounded by corn and dirt. She had trusted me with her secret about Melanie, the one that only Jamie, Jeb, and Doc knew because they were the only ones who would believe her. And I believed her, because I trusted her. We had become real, honest, good friends somehow. It felt nice, knowing that I was able to look past the fact that she was an alien and she was able to look past the fact that I had tried to kill her.
"And if they caught you?" I asked. I was curious. I mean, if they would kill a human than what would they do if they caught someone who had given information to the humans?
"If they realized who I was… if anyone is still looking for me…" She must have remembered the Seeker in black because she shuddered at the thought of someone looking for her. "They would take me out and put me in another host. Someone young, tractable. They would hope that I would be able to be myself again. Maybe they would ship me off-planet – get me away from the bad influences."
"Would you be yourself again?"
"I am myself. I haven't lost myself to Melanie. I would feel the same as I do now, even as a Bear or a Flower." I don't know why, but I was happy to know that this was all her.
"They wouldn't discard you?"
"Not a soul. We have no capital punishment for our kind. Or any punishment, really. Whatever they did, it would be to save me. I used to think there was no need for any other way, but now I have myself as proof against that theory. It would probably be right to discard me. I'm a traitor, aren't I?"
I pursed my lips and thought about that. I couldn't think of her as a traitor. It wasn't like she was giving us secrets about the souls. "More an expatriate, I'd say. You haven't turned on them; you've just left their society." We sat in a thoughtful silence then. Finally, I sighed and said, "When Doc sobers up, we'll get him to take a look at your face." I raised my hand to her cheek and she didn't flinch away this time. I turned her head to the side so I could look at it properly.
"It's not important. I'm sure it looks worse than it is."
"I hope so – it looks awful." Like he had literally picked her up and thrown her face first into a wall. I stood up and stretched. "I suppose we've hidden long enough that Kyle's clean and unconscious. Want some help with the dishes?' I knew I would follow her around for the rest of the day, and all the days after this one, because I had a real reason to protect from the others now. She was my friend, a very good one at that, and I always looked after my friends.
