I do still NOT own anything! I´m still 15, only for 12 days!! YAY. I do NOT own Private Practice, as a matter of fact I do NOT own anything except my DVDs, books, my sarcasm and a sparkling personality. So, please don´t sue me, for both of our sake, you´ll only be broke after

Sleepless Nights

Addison said on the cold wooden floor at her best friends´ house. Savannah and her husband Weis, Addison both knew since college, let her stay with them since she had no place to go. It had been two days. Two days of sleepless nights, of tossing and turning. Two days that had been hell

for Addison.

She ran her fingers along the wood grain under the dark varnish she was sitting on. It looked like the one she and Derek had in their brownstone. Everything reminded her of him. She

would suddenly start crying when she looked at this floor or when her fingers subconsciously touched the spot on her left hand where her rings used to be.

Addison wasn´t able to get up. She just couldn´t and didn´t know if it was because she hadn´t slept in days or she just completely lost her strength. The strength she always was so proud of.

Addison never was someone who would let other people see her weak, let alone crying. So, she locked herself in the room and sobbed. This was the hardest thing she had ever done, leaving the love of her life. You did the right thing, now just lighten up damn it! She thought to herself as she furiously wiped the tears out of her face. How she hated it to cry.

Addison wanted to go to work, they day she left Derek, but Savvy disagreed and called the chief so she had a few days off. Addison was grateful for that because going back to work meant seeing Derek and she was not ready to take that step.

XXX

Derek was pacing. He was running up and down the room, running his fingers through his hair.

This has got to be a nightmare! I am dreaming. This can´t be happening! Images of Addison leaving flashed into his mind. How could he let it come this far? How could she just leave him? After 12 years of marriage and so many years of relationship before that! Years of being best friends, lovers and soul mates. He missed her, he couldn´t sleep at night and it took him so long to admit that.

Derek finally sat down. He didn´t sleep in two days. Okay, he was a neurosurgeon, he was used to no sleep, but this was different. He didn´t even bother to talk to her, he didn´t put up a fight and he didn´t even try to stop her from leaving.

Now Derek wanted to call her, the past days Savvy always got rid of him somehow, trying really hard not yell at him.

When he shifted his gaze he saw the divorce papers and Addison´s rings on top of them. The places where he had to sign were marked with small black crosses.

She didn´t sign yet does this mean we actually still have a chance to work this out? We have to… The door bell startled Derek out of his thoughts, he knew who it was, of course he did.

Derek and Mark had been best friends since they were eight and met in detention.

And if you are friends for that long, you get a feeling for when the other one is showing up.

"It´s open!"

XXX

"Addison!" Savannah knocked on Addison´s door "You have to eat! God, you´re a doctor, you should know that! Now, please come out!!!"

After a long silence Addison answered "Give me one more day, okay?"

Savvy sighed, clearly not knowing what to do "Okay, one day, and after that I swear I´ll force you to eat!" since she was sure there was no response to that coming she headed back towards the living room.

FLASHBACK

"Derek, seriously, I hate camping! Hate! Hate!" Addison said desperatly, still trying to avoid having to sleep in a tent and eating trout. Even the thought of that made her want to hurl.

"You will like it and now stop complaing and help me!" was his barely audible response coming from under the tent

"First: I don´t complain, second: If I do, I am allowed to and third: I won´t help! You made me go camping with you! You are forcing me to spend my free weekend in the woods! The first free weekend we can spend together in over two months and you make me go camping! So, excuse me, but you have to put up with me complaining!" Addison replied, leaning against a tree. It was not like she hated Nature. She actually liked it, she liked nature for as long as she could go back home to an apartment and a bed.

"Addison, please! I am begging you to help me, because if you don´t we won´t have anything to sleep in!" before waiting for her response he just continued, sure of knowing what his fiance was about to say "I know, you couldn´t care less about that" that sentence made Addison smile. How well he knew her. "Remember the last time we went camping?" Derek looked out from the tent that looked like a little breeze could just tear it back down

"Yes, I do, I actually liked it. After two days of me complaining you agreed to just go to a hotel" she gave him a self-satisfied smile

"But now we only have two days, so, no hotel for you!"

"Well, you realize I won´t stop complaining, right?"

Derek sighed "Yeah, sadly I do"

After all the complaining, the evening turned out to be pretty nice.

"I know you really like it here right now, but are just too proud to admit it" Derek smiled at Addison who sat to his right and was looking at the perfect sky with all the stars shining down on them

"Well, surprise, I do like it" she smiled and turned to face him "But I´ll never do this again" she quickly added, knowing she would end up out here sooner or later anyway

"That´s fine by me. Plus, we both know that you can´t resist my charm" he gave her a cocky grin

FLASHBACK

Why can´t we just go back to that? Go back to being happy. I want things back, I want my life back.

Addison thought to herself, knowing that she won´t ever get that back.

So she decided it was best to move on. Not move onmove on, but trying to.

Addison quickly got up from the cold hartwood floor she spent two days on and got ready for work. After all, she couldn´t avoid it all forever.

XXX

"Derek, you have to go back to work! Staying here won´t solve anything" Mark said to Derek who sat besides him, looking exactly like he felt.

"I know, but I don´t know. I just…"

"You screwed up, big time, but if you want to get your marriage and Addison back, you have to stop sitting at home and thinking about what you could have done."

"I do want to get her back, but I am sure as hell she thinks differently." Derek replied, massaging his temples

"Well, I don´t think she will either" Mark looked at derek, seeing the expression on his face he quickly added "I am just being honest, but I could be wrong. Maybe she does. But to find that out you have to go to work. The only chance o save your job so they won´t replace you and to maybe get your wife back."

"Yeah, you´re right."

"I know I am"

XXX

Sorry the update is this short, but I´m so busy these days! Birthdays and school… Gosh it just sucks.

Really sorry guys that they´re still not back together, but they need a little time I guess.

Okay, I have to study again… Sorry guys

Hope you at least liked it.

Read and Review PLEASE