Chapter 3
Kylo observed Amara across the table; she had barely touched her food and she hadn't said a word after she had pushed him away. Surprisingly she had sat at the table without a fight. He could easily see how much her inner conflict was distressing her. Loving someone she hated… It was quite an interesting paradox. There was no doubt in his mind that she would lose her little struggle soon enough and give into him. Her body wanted it for sure. He had missed the taste of her. It wasn't anything more than physical attraction, for some reason she had always affected him like that. When they had met all those years ago, he had immediately known that he wanted her. She had been distant, reserved; it had taken him a long time to get behind her wall. All the effort had most definitely been worth it, he had got to see the part of her most people never could.
He had been very young back then and she had been the first girl who had ever made him feel like that. Unfortunately he had never been the most social type and at some point he had actually been frustrated enough to ask some advice from his father. Of course he hadn't told Han who was the girl he was hoping to charm and he had asked his father not to tell anyone. Relationships weren't allowed during his training. His father had understood and gave him some tips. The problem had been that Kylo had never been like his father, overly confident and articulate. On the contrary, he had been nothing but pathetic. Yet he had kept trying. One of the students in the school who had noticed his pathetic efforts had even claimed that Kylo had been obsessed with Amara. That had been ridiculous.
Before Snoke had given her to him, he had asked what Kylo felt towards her and of course he had responded that she meant nothing to him. Kylo suspected that she was another way for Snoke to test him, but that didn't worry him. She was just a little amusement, he had earned that. Those had been Snoke's words; Kylo knew that he had several mistresses. Amara would be Kylo's mistress, nothing more. Maybe she had used to mean something to him, but she didn't anymore. Why hadn't he already taken what he wanted then? Because he enjoyed a little challenge. Yes, that was the only reason.
"Not hungry?" he stated after a long silence.
"No," she replied without looking at him. Her voice held no emotion and she looked tired, apparently too tired to shout at him or give him the whole silent treatment.
"You should try to eat some more, you look pale."
Her skin had always been quite pale, but not as pale as it was now. She was quiet for a moment and stared at her plate before replying.
"I find that amusing coming from you," she snorted. "Have you seen your own face lately? When was the last time sunlight touched your skin?"
"We are not talking about me now," he responded.
"Why not? Do you miss your mask already?" She paused and looked at him. "Does it help you to act like a monster?"
He smiled.
"I don't know. Have I acted like a monster toward you?"
She pressed her lips together and crossed her arms.
"You're toying with me. Don't think that I wouldn't know that."
"I don't think I'm the one who is toying," he replied. "You love me, we both know that."
"No, I don't," she hissed icily. "The man I loved is gone, just like everything else that was good in my life. I don't understand why you didn't just kill me too."
The truth was that Kylo had made sure she hadn't been at the school when he and a group of Snoke's elite soldiers had done what had needed to be done. He had been away for a while before that and met Snoke. It had been like fate, he had found what he had been looking for. A real teacher, someone who understood him. All Luke had wanted was to restrain him, suppress his powers.
"Where did you go?" he asked, choosing to ignore her words. "I looked for you."
She tensed and glared at him.
"Why? You think I would have been happy to see you?"
He smiled.
"Well, I did promise to come back to you when I left…"
"Stop it," she snapped. "Stop talking like you would be him. You're not."
"No, I'm not and I'm glad I'm not. He was pathetic."
She was on her feet a second later, her chair sliding behind her.
"You're the one who's pathetic!" she shouted. "You're nothing but a monster!"
She was so angry that she was shaking. He was nothing but pleased by her little outburst; it showed how strong her feelings for him still were. It was only a matter of time before she would stop fighting. Calmly he observed her, expecting her to attack him. He had to admit that he had enjoyed her fiery attacks; no woman had ever turned him on like she had. Unfortunately she forced herself to calm down and sat down.
"Dessert?" he asked.
She didn't say anything or look at him. Right, the silent treatment again. She looked even more tired than before; he had noticed the dark circles under her eyes. Perhaps he wasn't the same person he had been, but it seemed that neither was she.
"Do you want to retire?" he asked.
She nodded; she still wasn't looking at him.
"My bed is very comfortable."
She looked up and glared at him.
"You will have to kill me first."
He doubted that, he really did. Oh well, he had known that this would take some time.
"I want to go back to my cell," she added tensely.
He would hardly call her accommodation a cell, but he didn't comment on that.
"Alright, as you wish."
She stood up when he called for the guards to take her back to her quarters. Before their arrival, he stepped in front of her and softly touched her hair.
"Sweet dreams, Amara."
She tensed when he kissed her forehead; a faint flush was rising in her pale cheeks. He was more than satisfied to see that his touch still affected her like that. She turned her back on him and didn't say anything when a stormtrooper escorted her out the door. After she had left, Kylo made his way towards a locked door that led to a small room. No one else was allowed to enter that room. He unlocked the door and stepped inside. The room was dark; there was nothing in there except a chair and a badly damaged helmet. His grandfather's helmet.
Just like so many times before, he sat down in front of the helmet and looked at it. Snoke had told him everything about his grandfather, how powerful he had been. Everything that Kylo wanted to be. Snoke had also told him about Darth Vader's greatest weakness. His wife, Padme. She had betrayed him after everything he had done for her. There was a lesson to be learned there and Kylo had no intention to ever repeat his grandfather's mistakes.
