CHAPTER 2

OPEN THE IRIS

The blonde woman, now identified as Major Carter, said, "There is a network of wormhole generators all across the galaxy. These devices are known as Stargates. We discovered ours in the early half of the Twentieth Century in Egypt, but it wasn't until recently when we discovered how to make it work. We can dial out to another planet, make the connection and travel to that destination in a matter of seconds. It's really quite remarkable."

"This sounds kind of familiar," Zim said.

"There are no gods," Daniel Jackson said. "They're actually aliens called the Goa'uld. They use human bodies as hosts, but they are snake-like creatures who live in the humans' stomachs. They came to earth in pre-civilization times and convinced the natives that they were gods."

"This planet?" Rico asked. "Not that hard."

"Right now, our big enemy is Anubis," O'Neill said. "We already took care of the likes of Ra and Apophis. Pretty cool, huh?"

"I enjoy killing villains who believe themselves to be gods," said the guy with the forehead tattoo. He had been introduced as Teal'c. "It is quite liberating."

"Yeah, I play video games, too," Zim said.

"This is way cooler than video games," O'Neill said. "Way awesomer than Contra."

Carter then went on to throw a whole bunch of jargon at Zim and Rico, stuff about Replicators and Asgard (at which point Rico giggled, thinking they meant Ass Guard), and other stuff that sounded far too sciencey for their likes. The only part they understood was how the Air Force used the Stargate to explore other planets and cultures, trying to share resources and form alliances throughout the galaxy.

"And sometimes we find the Goa'uld hanging around," O'Neill said. "Then we get to kick their asses."

"Usually in the face of insurmountable odds," Teal'c said.

"Never tell me the odds," Zim said. When no one laughed, he sighed. "Sorry. Fitz isn't here. I had to say something."

Carter went on to discuss other things, like something called the Prometheus. A sudden realization occurred to Rico when he realized they were talking about a spaceship. "Why didn't you call it the Enterprise? Makes sense."

O'Neill slapped the table. "That's exactly what I said. No one ever listens to me."

"Wait a minute," Zim said. "I remember where I heard all this crap before. Wormhole Xtreme. My old roommate, Fitz, he loved that show. Watched it all the time."

"We know all about that," Hammond said.

"Long story," O'Neill said.

Carter opened her mouth to continue when an overhead alarm went off. Everyone at the table jumped to their feet and rushed away. Zim and Rico looked at Davis.

"You're on the team now," Davis said. "Follow them."

Zim and Rico shuffled after the rest of SG-1. Davis said, "Faster. This is an emergency."

Zim let out a tremendous sigh and ran after the team. Rico merely walked faster. They both arrived in a control room at the same time, and everyone seemed to be frantic. Through the window, Zim could see a giant ring that looked like a swimming pool on its side. "Just like on the TV show."

"I hate that show," Rico said.

"You hate everything," Zim said.

"I like some things. Not a lot, though."

"Apparently you like junkie whores," Zim said.

"And you like unconscious women. No one's perfect."

Hammond stepped up to a bald-headed, bespectacled man. "Sergeant, give me a sit-rep."

"It's SG-7, sir. It sounds like they're receiving fire."

"Open the iris."

The sergeant scanned his palm, and the metal disc opened up. When it did, blaster shots came out of it, sparking off the walls. "Close the screen!" Hammond said. A metal door closed around the window. "Send reinforcements into the gate room!"

"That means you guys," Davis said. He pointed to Zim and Rico.

"That sounds dangerous," Zim said.

"That's why you make the big bucks. Grab your weapons and get in the gate room."

"We didn't get our red shirts yet," Rico said.

"It's only a figure of speech. You'll get army greens. If you survive this."

"Grab a P90 and go!" O'Neill yelled.

"What the fuck is a P90?" Zim asked.

"One of these things." Daniel Jackson held up a rifle. "The bullets go in this end." He pointed.

"I like guns," Rico said. "See? There's some stuff I like."

He and Rico grabbed their own weapons and descended into the gate room. Zim was pretty sure he wouldn't die. He was usually the star of these things, so there was no way he'd be killed his first time out. Maybe Rico. Probably Rico.

The gunfire and yelling became louder, and Zim suddenly changed his mind about charging into danger. He looked at Rico, admired his bulk, and thought he would make an excellent shield.