All mistakes are mine

WARNING: This chapter contains mentions of abuse. It's not graphic but it's there so please proceed with caution.


Darcy could admit the Christmas tree did look a little weird, the little devils were persuaded to add lights and ornaments thanks to their grandma but they wanted as many toys on it as possible. There was a G.I Joe hanging dangerously low, a Superman doll rested between two nutcrackers, there was even a barbie dangling from one arm, she looked more like a sacrifice to Santa Claus than a Christmas decoration.

There was even the Sponge Bob Jane had promised, taking the place of the angel at the very top of the tree. Darcy would never confessed to whispering in the ears of the little devils about where they could put it, no matter how many times Loki asked her.

There were no transformers though, her only cross to bear.

"Well, it sure is something." Frigga said good naturally, while the rest of them stood in various shades of horror and amusement and in the case of the little devils, total happiness.

"Something." Darcy confirmed as she took pictures with her phone, they were so going on her facebook and Jane was getting tag whether she liked it or not.

Loki stood next to her, satisfied grin on his face. A sight for sore eyes since Darcy didn't think he was capable of it in front of his parents, but there it was and it only got bigger when one of the boys would put another toy on the tree. Jane for her part was doing the best to be festive and encouraging as, Darcy assumed, a small part of her soul died every time a new pony was placed on the Christmas tree.

Odin was quietly sitting on the couch, watching something on TV. No one approached him to help and Loki would avoid even going to the same side of the room.

Lunch was a small affair of sandwiches and grape juice boxes, they all ate on the floor, minus Frigga and Odin who went to eat in the kitchen since they were apparently too good for the floor. Darcy could admit to herself that she was having a nice time, even if she had to talk in a whiny voice and there was a tension in the air that told her someone was going to snap soon.

"Brother, how about a friendly football competition?" Thor asked, eating the last of the sandwiches.

"Of course, it would be my great pleasure to smite you." Loki answered, already rolling up the sleeves of his shirt.

They were both smiling to each other and Jane gave her an eye roll when Darcy turned to her for guidance, the little devils let out screams of excitement and ran for their coats before dashing through a hallway which Darcy could only assumed took them to the backyard.

"They all always do this, they'll dare each other to something and then Ethan and Erik get involved and someone always cries at the end." Jane told her with the exasperation of someone who had been through it many times before.

"One of the boys?" She asked as she and Jane put on their coats.

"No, Thor and Loki, I swear neither one of them know how to lose." Jane guided them down the hallway, through a mud room before they finally reached the back porch. Jane pointed to a table with plushy looking chairs and they both settled in, ignoring the yells of the boys.

"This house is like a labyrinth." Darcy said once she was seated, she regretted not asking Loki for a tour.

"Yeah, you should've seen me the first time I was here. I got completely lost. Tried to find the kitchen and ended up in the pool." Jane laughed at herself.

"There's a pool?" Not that she knew why she so surprised at that, at this point she expected the house to have a ballroom.

"Is on the other side of the house. You should see it, is so pretty and is indoors. We should go later." Jane told her with a dreamy smile, and Darcy remembered that in her younger days Jane was an active swimmer.

"Didn't bring a bathing suit and unless you're suggesting we skinny dip..." She let the question hang in the air because she had gone skinny dipping a couple times and it was pretty fun.

"I'm sure Loki would love that." Jane laughed and Darcy waved her off to hide the blush covering her cheeks. She would not think about Loki like that.

Darcy was distracted by a yell, Thor had apparently gotten control of the ball and was running for all he was worth. Loki was running behind him, catching up fast thanks to his long legs, the two little devils waited for his dad at the end of the what she assumed was the goal post, held together by two wooden sticks. Loki tackled Thor and they went both down together, a mess of limbs.

"Careful!" Jane screamed when Ethan and Erik decided to join the fray.

"Do not go near my petunias." Frigga chose that moment to opened the door, arms loaded with a tray. The boys were good in answering because all four of them immediately stood up in attention and went back to their game, staying away from the plants and flowers.

"I brought some tea, if you girls would be interested." Frigga gave them a kind smile and Darcy started to feel a small amount of guilt for the lies she and Loki were telling.

Which is why she stayed quiet as Jane and Frigga talked about unimportant things, Darcy had plenty of places to jump in and make inappropriate comments but Frigga was being so good nature she just couldn't do it.

Loki seemed to sense her withdrawal because when he came to drop off the little devils' coats, he went around the table where she was seated uncomfortable between Jane and Frigga and gave her a firm kiss on the cheek.

"You're alright." He whispered in her ear, she stopped the shiver from traveling down her spine because of his voice but she couldn't anything much about the nice feeling of being cared for. Which is what her head reminded her Loki wasn't doing, it was all about making his mom uncomfortable.

"Ew! Get off, you're gross!" She said in her stupid, whiny voice. Though he wasn't because the air was nice and crisp, and not one flake of snow had fallen on the ground which meant the dirt was dry. Loki also seemed immune to getting dirty because his shirt and pants still looked as impeccable as they did when he was getting ready that morning.

"You love it." He gave her a smile before he gulped down some of her tea and went back to play.

"The loveliest thing about you being here is my son being so carefree." Frigga told them, Darcy knew she was talking about her because Jane turned a little too fast to look at Frigga before she felt Jane's eyes on her.

Darcy was apprehensive about Frigga's statement, there have been no resentment in her voice but she didn't look ecstatic about it either, it was a simple statement of fact. Darcy had never met Loki before, she didn't know what he was like in a day to day basis, she didn't know his favorite foods or his favorite shows, what made him sad or angry, or his reactions to things, she just knew he wasn't okay. She didn't know he wasn't care free before. Darcy didn't know why he would be carefree with her, didn't know why she would be responsible for something like that.

It made her already heavy shoulders feel even heavier.

She turned just in time to see Thor throw the ball at Loki, only for Loki to jump and miss it, the ball kept flying until it finally crashed with a window. The sound of the glass breaking made her wince, the silence after it made her queasy even though she didn't know why and the nervous giggle from Jane got her confused.

"That's Odin's study." Frigga said, in what Darcy could only assume was a resigned voice. Darcy was about to ask the obvious question when Odin himself answered it for her.

"THOR! LOKI!" The angry scream did indeed come from the same room with the now broken window, Darcy winced in sympathy when Thor and Loki turned around to look at each other in fear.

"It was Jane!" Thor yelled back in what was an obvious attempt to save himself.

"It was Darcy!" Loki said right after him, a gleam in his eye said he wasn't going down without a fight.

Darcy and Jane looked at each other in amusement, because there was no way Odin was going to believe that.

"THOR! LOKI! IN MY OFFICE! NOW!" Darcy didn't think Odin could sound any louder but he somehow accomplished it.

Loki and Thor walked back to the porch in defeat, the two little devils following behind them in glee. There was something to be said about grown ups getting in trouble and Darcy suspected that the little devils got into too much trouble not to enjoy when someone else walked the plank besides them. One of the them, being their dad probably made the situation even more hilarious to them. The other being their uncle, who was probably responsible for most of their punishment as it was.

The boys were probably bathing in happiness.

"Good luck with your dad." Jane said in encouragement, it was an innocent enough statement except Loki stopped walking to look at Jane, whatever amusement there had been in Loki's demeanor was now gone and instead he seemed to draw into himself. The exchange only lasted a couple of seconds but when Loki turned back to follow Thor his footsteps were louder and the way his fist clenched told Darcy whatever moment of peace they had that day was gone.


Jane had been quick enough to drag the boys into their room in the second floor, far away from Odin's study in the first floor. Frigga went into the in kitchen, to start dinner preparations but Darcy knew she was escaping the incoming explosion just as Jane had but Darcy had opted to sit in the bottom of the staircase instead and listen to the fighting.

"What do you want me to say Loki? That I regret you?!"

A decision she could, to her horror, explain because she had done a million times when she was a kid, when she used to hide and listen to her parents fight in their drunken stupor about who got to hit her first.

"You should! I do! What was I for? Publicity?! Adopt the little orphan? Make the business look nice and wholesome?! TELL ME!"

It hadn't been nice or kind but for a long time it was all she knew before her parents killed themselves crashing into a pole before killing her with a belt instead, so in a way the fighting was almost comforting.

"You are my son! I will not have you believing anything else!"

She hated herself for even thinking it.

"This is mother's house! You will respect it!"

Thor was right, this was Frigga's home but she was hiding in the kitchen, or maybe Darcy was wrong and she wasn't hiding. Maybe she had this fight many times before and she was tired of it, tired of going around in circles with Loki.

"What you're going to do Thor?! You wanted me here! You wanted to pretend like nothing's happened! Well something has! I will not apologize if it taints your perfect image!"

Loki who was proving to be more bitter than she originally thought, the hurt was there too but Loki had clearly chosen to be angry about it instead. It was a good strategy, one she would have gone for herself if she hadn't been so grateful to get out of the hell she called a childhood.

"You're my brother! I want you here!"

The foster homes had been nice, much nicer than she expected. She had been lucky that way, she knew not all foster homes were good but hers were and she would be grateful for it for as long as she could be.

"You're not my brother! You never were!"

She had adjusted well, she loved her foster parents, the new school had been nice and she finally found friends that wouldn't have to ask about the bruises on her arms or the burn marks on her legs. The fear never really went away though, sometimes she would wake up and curled up into a ball and sob in fear and even as she grew up the fear never really left and the nightmares sometimes came back.

"You're a fool! A fool for believing that!"

The day Darcy turned eighteen a lawyer came to give her a check, a deed for a house and a cabin, the amount on the check was for her parents' life insurance. Something she didn't know existed and the amount was big enough for her to not worry about paying for anything else in her life for a long while, including college.

"Am I? Am I fool?! Yes, I am a fool! A fool for not noticing the lies sooner!"

Seeing the deed to the house she grew up in gave her a panic attack but the lawyer had been kind and waited while she felt a little better, she took the first choice he gave her and sold the house.

"We did not lie, we merely protected you from feeling different."

The cabin had been a complete surprise, she had never heard of it before and she didn't know her parents had enough money to own a cabin in the middle of the woods. She was going to sell that too before the lawyer told her to think about it, so she thought about it long and hard before going to see it. The cabin was big and spacious, in decay from the years of neglect but traces told her how it had probably been a party destination for her parents and their friends. The cabin was beautiful though and she felt compelled to strip it of its' dusty layers and make it her own.

The yelling stopped.

Darcy opened her eyes when she heard the door opening, she caught a glimpse of blond hair as Thor ran up the stairs next to her but he didn't say a word. Her eyes shifted to Loki who was standing in front of her, looking at her. His eyes were red but there were no tears and Darcy didn't know if that was good or bad.

Loki's face turned dark before he stalked up the stairs without a word.

She thought of following him, of providing a shoulder to cry on but Loki didn't look like he wanted to cry, he looked like he wanted to rage and break things. Her own destruction had been painful, she didn't need to see his too.

Instead she got up and started walking around the house, looking for the pool Jane had mentioned. The house was like a maze, there was so many twists and turns and to her pleasure they even had a library and while she would love to sit and read, she was anxious and wanted to move.

When she finally found the pool she was happy to see how not fancy it was, it was just a rectangular pool inside a room with tall windows. There were showers on the right side with a rack of towels and small tubes of things like shampoo. The left had plush chairs and a couch to relax on, across the pool were plants for decoration.

She took a deep breath after taking off her tight shirt, her boots and pants were easier to take off and she only hesitated a second in her bra and panties before diving into the pool. The water was warm and she stayed underwater for a second to enjoy it before going back up for air.

She ran her laps slowly knowing full well she wasn't in the shape for something faster, usually her way of coping with hard stuff was to snack on junk food and watch lifetime but she couldn't do that here and the water was so warm and nice she didn't mind the change.

The sun was setting when she finished her spontaneous workout, her arms and legs were sore but she was still inside the pool, leaning her arms on the edge of the pool to watch the sunset through the tall windows. The water was still warm and as the sun went down the lights inside the pool got brighter.

"Should I hope you're not naked in there?" An amused voice told her from the entrance of the room and Darcy turned to a see a smiling Loki.

"No skinny dipping for me today." She tried for funny but her tone fell flat.

"I've been looking everywhere for you, I thought perhaps you ran away." His voice was teasing but his nervous demeanor told her maybe he did think she left.

"Not today." This time her tone was a little more lively.

"Would you mind if I joined you?" Darcy thought she saw him wince as he asked but it was probably just a tricked of the changing lights.

"Go for it. The pool is big enough for the two of us." She answered back, the flutter of butterflies starting in her stomach.

Loki stripped of his clothes, not looking at her. Darcy hadn't seen him shirtless yet and was more than pleasantly surprise when she noticed muscles on his lithe body.

She returned around to looked back to what was left of the sunset, she tensed slightly when she felt the water move and stayed firmly in place when she saw Loki from the corner of her eye. He mimicked her position next to her and Darcy was hyper aware of his elbow touching hers.

"Do you want me to ask?" She didn't know his boundaries, if the fight she heard taught her anything is was that she really had no clue about what was going on with him and his family. Just because Loki confessed his secret it didn't mean she knew anything about it.

"Why? You heard it." He didn't sound angry, which was already a step in the right direction.

"Yeah." Was her whispered answer, a hint of shame in her voice. Darcy knew it was wrong to hear even if her own selfish reasons made her do it anyway.

"It's of no consequence. It doesn't matter." He adopted his own whispered response.

"You know, I don't think I even know what you do? Or what your favorite color is? Or the way you like eggs? I I need to know the way you like eggs because it could made or break this fake relationship." Suddenly it was important to her to know his life, because if she knew his secret then she wanted to know the everything else.

Loki chuckled, shaking his head before turning to give her a look of amusement.

"I run Asgard Industries, we focus on medical equipment. My favorite color is green and eggs Benedict are my favorite. And what about Darcy Lewis? What's her favorite color? How does she like her eggs?"

"You can't make me pick a color, they're all pretty. My favorite eggs are sunny side up with lots of ketchup." She swam back, trying to put some space between them. Being so close to Loki was making her a little dizzy.

"Even black and white?" Loki raised an eyebrow at her.

"Especially black and white, under appreciated colors in my opinion. Wait, you work for your dad?" Which added a whole new level of fucked up to the entire thing because if this was affecting his personal life than it was probably murdering his professionally one.

"He's the CEO and I'm COO." Loki started swimming towards her and she swan back a little more.

"So he's your boss, damn." Because what else could she say to that?

"My sentiment exactly." Loki looked like a man in a mission as he kept slowly swimming towards her, Darcy kept moving because she realized what would Loki would do if he caught her.

"What else about Loki?" She asked him as her arms and legs carried her around the pool, away from Loki.

"Loki would like for you stop running away from him." There was something in his eyes that she couldn't place but it made her very excited.

"Why? What's Loki going to do?" Darcy asked just before Loki lunged for her, in desperation she sank down and swam around him.

They kept playing like that for awhile, Loki trying to catch her and her paddling or swimming away. Loki became a little more lively as they kept playing, a pink tint to his cheeks every time she let him close enough to touch her before she swam away.

A part of her didn't want to play the game, the part that knew that it was all a lie and nothing good could come off of it. The other part told her to throw caution to the wind, to embrace the fact that she was attracted to Loki.

The thought hit her hard and she stopped swimming long enough for Loki to crash into her. Loki was quick to grabbed her before she could run away.

"Careful." He said as he started running his hands up and down her arms, she let him guide her to the edge of the pool and she leaned against it, closing her eyes and waited for the inevitable kiss.

It never came.

"Do not miss dinner again, it upsets your mother." Odin was standing by the door, his tone cold and unforgiving.

Darcy tried to push Loki away, embarrassed over being caught like a pair of horny teenagers but Loki simply put a hand on her waist to keep her in place.

Suddenly she became aware of everything, like the fact her bra was becoming too uncomfortable, her contacts were burning her eyes and the water had a coldness to it that it didn't before.

"Noted." Loki said back drily and Odin nodded his head stiffly before leaving.

Darcy tried to push Loki away again and this time he let her go, she quickly scrambled to the steps and left the pool, grabbing one of the towels and hastily drying before putting her clothes back on. She didn't look at Loki when she heard him get out of the pool as she made her way to the door, or when he called her name.

She kept walking until she reached the bathroom in Loki's room and tried to think long and hard about what the hell she was doing.

She didn't need a broken man, not when she was already broken herself.