Title: Regression

Chapter: 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or any of Murakami-sensei's characters

Summary: AU When Yuki's sessions with his psychiatrist increase, he hates it. Can a certain pink haired receptionist change his mind?


Tohma Seguchi was extremely protective of his brother in law. They had known each other long before Tohma had married Eiri's sister Mika, and had even spent a few years living together in America when Eiri had felt he couldn't cope with being ostracized anymore because of his hair and eye colour. It was Tohma who had introduced Eiri to Yuki Kitazawa, who would later be murdered. So Tohma blamed himself for Eiri's condition, and felt that there was no reason why he should not be overprotective of Eiri. He believed that somehow, by not seeing through Yuki Kitazawa, he had driven Eiri to shoot his tutor. It was because of all this that Tohma made frequent visits to Eiri; sometimes with Mika, often alone.

The week before, Tohma had put off visiting Eiri, knowing that the novelist would not be in a good mood after having his counselling sessions increase. The next week though, he decided that the writer had had enough time to let out his anger and accept his therapy changes, and would be ready for a visitor. Now, he was sitting on Eiri's large couch in the living room, and was watching the younger man drink.

Over the past few months, Tohma had noticed the increase in Eiri's drinking. Eiri didn't smoke much in front of Tohma or his sister, but he had seen the change in packet size too. He had been worried, but he had promised Eiri multiple times that he would stop interfering with his life and he pushed his worries aside. Now though, he was itching to nag Eiri and chant 'I told you so' childishly, but he controlled himself as he always did and refrained from mentioning anything to do with his counselling.

"How are you, Eiri-san?" Tohma asked - the first thing he had said to Eiri since he had come in apart from his greeting at the door.

"I'm fine," Eiri replied, frowning moodily in Tohma's direction before downing the last of his drink in a large mouthful. He was drinking vodka, and not in a small glass, so he had to conceal a wince as the fiery liquid burnt his throat. There had not been a small quantity left in his glass.

"What did Sachiko-san say about your drinking?"

"Stop mothering me Seguchi!" Eiri snapped. He couldn't understand what he had done to deserve such an irritating brother-in-law. "It's only one drink."

"You've had two since I got here," Tohma pointed out calmly. "And your glass was half full when I arrived."

Eiri growled angrily and poured himself another drink to spite Tohma's words. Once he had drained the drink (which took all of a few seconds) he lit a cigarette.

"You'll explode if you smoke that after drinking so much, Eiri-san," Tohma warned, trying to keep what he said as advice, not an order. Eiri hated being told what to do, and orders usually made him do the complete opposite of what he was supposed to or not supposed to be doing.

"See if I care." Eiri put the cancer stick in his mouth resolutely and took a long drag before releasing the smoke slowly, letting it curl slowly as it left his mouth. Tohma rested his elbows on his knees and then his chin on his hands as he regarded Eiri coolly.

"You're damaging your health Eiri-san. Mika-san is worried about you. She wanted me to remind you of what happened last time. Are you eating much?"

Eiri snorted. "As if she cares. All she's interested in is her car, money and our old man." He felt a little lightheaded but he paid no heed to his body's first warning of him reaching his limit. He didn't have any deadlines to meet or places to go and Tohma's presence made no difference to the hours he had to kill until his next meeting with his editor or session at Sato Hospital. He was happy with his alcohol and cigarettes and being away from the world. "Anyway Seguchi, if anything happens to me it will be because you're here." He looked the older blond squarely in the eyes. "You piss me off."

Tohma never paid any attention to Eiri's insults. He was an angry person, and without blame. The insults had been explained to him by a psychiatrist friend as a barrier against people that cared for him. He explained that Eiri was scared because he had cared for Yuki and Yuki had taken advantage of that care. "Please calm down, Eiri-san."

"Don't tell me what to do." Eiri spat. He crushed his finished cigarette into his ashtray and poured himself another drink. "Don't think I won't blast your brains out like I did to that fucking rapist bastard."

"Eiri-san, I think you've had enough to drink. Why don't you go to bed?" Tohma stood up and picked up the rest of Eiri's vodka.

"Put my fucking drink down!" Eiri roared, standing up. "If I drink myself to death it'll be your fault Seguchi! It's your fault I'm like this!" His voice faltered a little as he looked down at himself in disgust. "You should have died like Kitazawa." His voice was low with a menace not unlike the growl of a feral dog defending itself. Tohma saw his vulnerability.

Tohma watched Eiri calmly as he shouted insults at him, bottle still in hand. He had seen Eiri like this a few times before and knew that it was best to let him shout himself out than to try to quiet him. Once Eiri had finished, he swayed weakly on his feet and let himself fall back down onto the couch. He retched, covering his mouth with his hands. It wasn't uncommon for him to get drunk, shout and puke, but instead of going to the bathroom as he normally would, he sat still. Tohma watched curiously as Eiri made quiet retching noises into his hand, missing Eiri's brief pleading look. Crimson liquid seeped from between his fingers and dripped onto the carpet.

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Shuichi was typing up new information into the ward's database when he phone rang. He squealed mentally – he adored receiving the phone calls and taking messages.

"Good morning, Sato Hospital's psychiatry ward, Shindou Shuichi speaking, how can I help you?"

"Good morning," a creepily pleasant voice replied. "I'm calling to cancel Uesugi Eiri's appointment. Could you pass on a message to Takahashi Sachiko?"

"Certainly," Shuichi replied politely, wondering what had happened to Yuki Eiri. "Could I take your name please?"

"My name is Seguchi Tohma; I'm Uesugi-san's brother-in-law." He paused, giving Shuichi time to write down his name. "Could you tell Takahashi-san that he is in the Observation ward? He vomited blood this morning and had to stay for some tests. He should be there for a few days in case he worsens."

"I'll pass on the message, Seguchi-san, thank you for calling."

Shuichi put down the phone, looking worriedly at what he'd written down. Throwing up blood? He wasn't a doctor, but that had to be serious – it didn't take a genius to figure out that much. Shuichi tried to shrug off his worry and dialed the extension for the phone in Sachiko's room. Shuichi knew that she had a patient with her, but he figured that the news had to be passed on urgent.

"This is Takahashi Sachiko."

"Sachiko-san, there's been a cancellation…"

Sachiko cut him off. "Shindou-san, I'm in the middle of a session, and you don't have to call me every time there's a change in somebody's schedule. I'll see to it later."

"But it's an emergency," Shuichi began, but Sachiko had already hung up. How rude, Shuichi bristled. The worry that he had been feeling flooded back for reasons unknown to him. Maybe Yuki would get sicker if Sachiko-san didn't know what had happened. He could be in dire need of someone to talk to, to relieve his stress. Shuichi gasped. Seguchi-san had entrusted him with Yuki's condition and had ordered him to tell Sachiko. What if Sachiko never found out that Yuki was sick? What if she couldn't visit him?

Yuki had bought Shuichi Pocky last week. He was a good person, whether he acted like it or not. Perhaps he should visit him…? Shuichi debated the pros and cons of visiting the writer. He could pretend to be a nurse (easy enough in his uniform and with his name tag) but perhaps Yuki wouldn't want him there and would tell another doctor that he had visited. Shuichi's mental argument went on for a while before he decided that the best thing to do would be to visit him.

Shuichi wrote down Seguchi Tohma's details in a thick marker and left the note where even a blind person would be able to see it. As soon as it turned twelve on the clock in the reception he zoomed off to the Observation ward. He found Yuki's room quickly after spinning a story to a ditzy looking nurse about Sachiko sending him to visit Uesugi Eiri. He knocked hesitantly before entering.

"Hi," he started lamely, seeing that Eiri was awake and did not look like a very sick man or a man in dire need of counselling. He looked around the room for something to say and then decided that he owed an explanation to the novelist as to why he was there. "A friend of yours called and told me what happened. I… thought you might like a visitor. I bought you flowers." He gingerly set a bunch of mixed flowers on Yuki's bedside table. He had been inspired to buy them at the sight of another patient chatting to the vendor about her sick husband in the ICU. "I didn't know what flowers you liked so I got all different types. See? Here are some tulips, some roses, a few carnations, and look, a daffodil…"

"Shut up," Yuki said venomously, silencing Shuichi's list of flowers. "I've just had five different tests and your voice is doing my head in. I don't care why you're here or what kind of flowers you got me. I want you to get out."

Shuichi blinked dopily at Yuki, grinning stupidly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to annoy you, I just thought…"

"You didn't think anything. Stop forcing yourself on me; I'm not interested; so get out of here before I call the doctor. I don't suppose it will do your job any good to be caught harassing a patient." He smirked sadistically despite the searing pain that had started up again in his stomach.

Shuichi nodded, and then opened his mouth to say something else. Seeing Yuki's face he quickly shut it and nodded again. "I'm sorry Yuki-san."

"Just fuck off brat," Eiri growled.

Shuichi ducked his head and left the room feeling very hurt. As he trailed back sadly to his desk in the psychiatry ward he noticed that people were staring at him strangely. The ditzy nurse even asked him if he was ok. He assumed it was because he looked miserable until he felt something hot trickle down his left cheek. He was crying and he couldn't even remember when he had started. He rubbed roughly at his cheek, feeling stupid.

"Crying without reason," he muttered to himself, "the first sign of madness." Then he laughed. Laughing and muttering to yourself, he though, the second. Cheered up, Shuichi returned to his desk with a spring in his step, greeting each nurse he passed happily.


Eiri turned to look at his flowers. The brat must have spent a fortune on them, it was a big bunch and hospital flowers were not known for their low prices. Dammit, the kid was beyond irritating, Eiri cursed mentally. He figured that he must be a magnet for bad luck, after the stress he'd been under for the past three weeks. Speaking of which…Eiri winced as a wave of pain from his stomach shot through his body. Damn ulcers. He tried not to cough too loudly – the last thing he wanted was for the doctor to return. He frowned as the coppery taste of blood filled his mouth. Why was he still bleeding? He reached for the bowl left out for him and spat out the blood. What a giveaway.

It was all the brat's fault. His condition had stabilized once he was at the hospital and now the idiot receptionist had un-stabilized him again. Damn punk, Yuki thought bitterly.


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Revised on 27th January 2008. Beta-d by blaqksilence – thank you!