I stare. The gigantic Nord figure is crowding the doorway, which seems a little small for him. He comes inside the house behind Theodore and me. "Pa!" The twins exclaim with ecstasy.
"Boys!" Father gives an equally elated cry, and continues. "Autumn! Have you grown since I've last seen you?"
"I suppose it's possible, a lot can happen in two weeks. Where have you been adventuring?" I ask, letting a little envy creep into my voice.
"Oh! There is so much I have to tell you!" Pa really appreciates having someone like me, to whom he can divulge all the secrets of his wanderings to. I know that Mother doesn't thoroughly enjoy my father's ravings about killing this or that bandit in some obscure hold she's probably only been to once. I, on the other hand enjoy them to the fullest, seeing how this is about the closest thing to adventure I can get until I am approved to go out on my own. "The reach looks beautiful this time of year."
"I'm sure it does," Mother trails off, "but unless it helps get dinner ready, at the moment I'm rather preoccupied."
"Aw, have some fun Mjoll, you used to be so full of fire!" Father shouts boisterously, emboldened by his homecoming. "What happened?" he questions tentatively.
"I married you!" She says simply. "Then, you wanted kids! Do you have any idea how they suck the life out of you?" She asks smiling at me and the twins.
"Hey!" Alarik whines in a faked-insulted tone.
My father considers this, and then he saunters over to Ma, who is standing over the fire. "And I love you for it." He says in a seductive tone and in one fluid motion, sweeps her off her feet, holds her in his strong, well-muscled arms, and plants a loving kiss on her lips. All the while, the twins, Theodore, and I are shielding them from our view and making disgusted remarks.
"Get off of me you over-romantic brute!" She laughs playfully. "Now if you all want food, you are going to have to be patient, and wait for it elsewhere, this kitchen is getting crowded!"
We all secede from the kitchen slowly, and reluctantly. We move our small gathering downstairs to talk, since we don't really have a den, we use the twin's bedroom and use their small beds for chairs, and occasionally using the chests as benches. I ask Father about his least interesting escapade, in order to save time for his more exciting experiences for dinner.
Pa instantly launches into a tale of a few bandits who didn't have the sense to know who he was, and soon enough Ma calls us for dinner.
Dad is just finishing his story while we are heading up the stairs, and find that a wonderful feast has been prepared in our absence. She couldn't have possibly have prepared this so quickly, so I come to the conclusion that she quietly made a brief trip to the market. The feast is marvelous nonetheless. There is a large pot of stew taking up residence at the center of the table, and a goat leg to the left, there is also a large assortment of cheeses, and breads. There are also a number of grilled vegetables, my favorite being potatoes. I know by the smell that she is preparing a pie for desert.
Our table has a rectangular shape, and six chairs make their homes around it. I sit at the chair that is closer to the wall, on the goat leg's side of the table. Father sits at the head, and Mother chooses the chair at the opposite end, where she can see him perfectly. The remaining three boys sit in the remaining chairs.
After everyone has settled into their seats, the face-stuffing begins. I lose all previous esteem for manners, and instantly fill my plate and bowl. I know the beef stew is hearty, and I save it for the last part of my meal, so that I don't fill up before I can get a chance to try the cheese. My stomach starts to complain while I try to decide what to eat first.
The potatoes are calling me, so I begin with those, the warm skin feeling hot on my fingers. When the root touches my tongue, I taste the butter, and light coating of cheese follows as I begin to chew. After the potato, I move on to my piece of the goat leg, which was prepared with a liberal amount of salt. I put it between two slices of bread, and put a small slice of cheese in between. The cheese melts almost instantly. I eat the creation quickly while my stomach is growing more content. I then eat some grilled leaks, and move on to the stew. The beef broth is good, and I chew on the meat and cabbage, which gives a slightly bitter taste, but the smoothness of the dish puts it all together. When my bowl of stew is mostly finished, I take some bread and begin to sop up the stew with it.
While I am absorbed in my plate of food, I barely notice the conversation that is taking place. I think that Pa is caught up in unfurling one of his dramas, but when I hear my name my attention is instantly grabbed. He was telling a story, which I missed the most of when he says, "Just think what Autumn could do."
It looks like I'm the only one who was stopped dead in their meal. Ma is continuing to disassemble her piece of goat leg. Alan and Alarik keep eating their bread and nod their heads at Pa to let him know they're listening, but Theodore almost chokes on his cheese.
Since I wasn't paying attention for most of Father's story, I have to ask what he was talking about.
"Well, I was in Markarth and there was this little girl working the forge, she must have been at least Alan and Alarik's age. She's apprenticed to one of the blacksmiths there, and she can make some fine jewelry. So I think, what could Autumn do with some metal? She might be able to make a descent set of armor." My heart sank, and across the table, Theodore gives me a look that says now would be the perfect time.
So I prepare myself for the worst, struggling to get the words off my chest that have been eating away at me for a long time. "Dad… I-I think that I want to be something more than-than a blacksmith."
I know instantly that this wasn't the right choice of words, that I will be misunderstood, because his reply is so simple, "Well, you don't have to be a blacksmith, you can be a merchant, or a farmer, you could even be an innkeeper, no matter what you do, we will always love you."
"No," I begin to argue my point, "I mean, I want more than just a simple life… I want to be an adventurer like you…"
The shock surrounding my words is unexpected; I thought my frustration with this corrupted little town was evident. I mean, I didn't exactly ooze home town spirit. Pa just hasn't been around the house for long enough periods of time. He probably really did expect that I wanted to have a small town life, raise a family like this one. I know the pain of not spending enough time with us, because I feel the same way about him.
"Oh, you do? Why haven't you told me before?" He asks as he puts down his fork and knife, giving me his full attention.
"Well, you never asked?" I say as if there is a right answer, and then confess, "I was too scared, I thought you might laugh, or say no… or both."
He looks at me for a while with a blank expression on his face. Then his blank expression turns into a smile, which turns into a grin, and the unexpected happens. He releases a booming thunderous laugh. So I think, that's it, I'm done, he thinks I'm too weak.
Just when I've lost all hope, everything turns around again, and he says "Why didn't you tell me sooner? I would love to take you with me sometime!" I have an instant feeling of elation, and it feels like the weight of the world has been lifted from me. I feel like I could jump to one of our moons with a single leap but once again I am stopped dead in my tracks. My guts begin to twist in the confusion of it all.
"But, my love, don't you think it's a bit dangerous for her?" Mother asks. I know that convincing her won't be easy, and if Father really does want me to come with him he will have to do some major convincing.
He senses that this will not be an easy argument to win, and says, "Why don't we talk about this after dinner?" and with that the table is silenced. We go back to eating our dinner, and the rest of the meal is very quiet. Theodore does try to get some conversation going again, but most answers he gets a "yes" or "no" nothing more.
After the meal is finished, Alan, Alarik, Theodore, and I go outside to avoid the heated discussion which is bound to take place at any moment. Not that things get like this often, but occasionally Ma and Pa have arguments. Normally it's about him not being here enough, but this time, it's about me. It's my fault.
The evening is still gloomy, but the gloom clears up just before sunset. I can tell it is going to be a beautiful morning. We walk around to the center of the town. The sun disappears in beautiful colors of red, orange, and a touch of pink against the darkening blue sky. When the sun has finally dipped below the horizon, I realize that everyone is being extremely quiet. I can barely hear them breathing.
I turn around, and see that they are a step or two behind me. All of them are looking at me. Theodore has a slight smirk on his face, but the twins are quite unreadable.
"What?" I ask curiously. I can tell Theo wants the twins to go first, but when they remain hushed he has to answer.
"You did it." He smirks a little more, and the twins look shocked.
"You knew? You knew she wanted to leave?" Alan looks a little upset.
"Well yeah… she told me a long time ago." Theodore answers him.
"You told him and not us?" Alarik asks me.
"I'm sorry, I've just never been happy here, except when I'm with you guys." I explain.
"Why do you want to leave then?" Alan questions.
"The only thing that I want that isn't here is adventure," I say gently, "But I know that I'll have to be away for long periods of time. That's going to be the toughest thing for me-leaving you guys."
They seem touched, and look like they've forgiven me. I'm glad too it would break my heart if I broke their hearts. We walk back to the house in stillness, and when we reach our home it sounds as if Mother and Father are still talking. We can tell it has calmed down, so Alan and Alarik go inside, I go to my shack, and Theodore heads home.
I decide to wait for the morning for the results of the dispute. My shack is just as I left it. The barren wooden walls greet me when I walk in, my plain décor as bland as usual, but I can't help but feel at home in my tiny shed. I take off my dress and put on a simple night gown, then slip into the covers of my bed. I am engulfed in warm linens, and I drift vaguely into a dreamless sleep.
