Please don't hate me... Facebook chapters will not happen every second chapter. Sorry! There will be more, I promise! The good thing about this is the Facebook chapters are easier to write, so they'll be put up quicker but the more wordy ones get more reviews, so yeah. Best of both worlds! I really hate Hannah Montana... Okay, excuse the next part. EEEEEEEPPPPPPP! I never knew I could get like, HIGH, on reviews! I don't even have ten and I'm so happy! Crap, I just remembered I forgot a disclaimer for the last chapter. Whatever. OOH I'm so giddy! With all these reviews, I might have to start updating more often!
DISCLAIMER: If I owned glee, these stories would be on television. And also, My Humps belongs to the Black Eyed Peas (I don't actually like them but Puck does, cause he's dirty :D) and Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go belongs to Wham.
NOTE: Mike and Tina aren't together. Quinn and Finn aren't together. Puck and Lauren aren't together. But Lauren is still awesome.
"Rache, you made it!" Santana greeted cheerily as Rachel was dragged inside the ex cheerio's house.
"Only by brute force." Muttered Rachel. She was set free as soon as Santana had locked the door.
"Nice outfit!" Santana complimented as she went down the hall and turned into the lounge room. Rachel sighed and followed Santana.
"I don't have any stuff here!"
"You can borrow some of my stuff." Santana waved her diva friend off and Puck dragged her up the stairs to Santana's room (Wasn't his first time there) to get some sleeping stuff.
"So, Rache... why are you so weird about sleepovers?"
"None of your business." Rachel snapped as she pulled out some pyjamas and a spare pillow.
She was looking at the sleeping bags when Puck pulled her around.
"Uh, no sleeping bag. Sorry Ber-ber." Puck grinned.
"Uh, why?"
Puck didn't answer.
"Does Brittany wet the bed?" Rachel asked randomly.
"Uh, I hope not, I'm sleeping next to her. And only you can't have a sleeping bag."
"What the- you know what? Over it. Whatever. Let's just get this nightmare over and done with."
Puck let himself have a small smile at how much Rachel was learning to get over things and then was back to being bad ass.
Downstairs, all the glee clubbers had arrived and instead of running crazily around like they had at Rachel's party, they were all setting up beds and sitting down – but (There's always a but – especially in Puck's mind) they were giggling loudly and chatting obscenely.
An hour later, Rachel was starting to feel uncomfortable in her dress, so she left the party area to get changed. As soon as she walked into the bathroom, she started to unzip the back of her dress.
"Now before I do more, you will have to leave Noah." Puck groaned and came out from behind the toilet.
"I was gonna see Berry parts." He whined as Rachel directed him out of the room.
"You too Santana." Santana also groaned and jumped out of the cupboard. Once Rachel had thoroughly checked the whole bathroom, she got changed into one of Santana's rare huge black t-shirts and some grey tracksuit pants.
When she came out, there was wolf whistling. Sure, Rachel looked damn fine in tight clothes and mini skirts but when she was in relaxed clothing she looked so natural you could die.
She sat down in between Quinn and Brittany in the glee club's egg shaped circle but leaned back when she saw the bottle in the middle.
"Relax, Rache, it's not spin the bottle yet. It's song dares. Someone spins the bottle and whoever it lands on has to perform a song of the first persons choice." Santana explained. She grabbed the bottle and spun it. It landed on Puck.
"Mmm! Okay, sing Wake Me up Before You Go-Go!"
Puck groaned. Great! Feel good gay 80's music: totally his thing.
After an embarrassing performance filled with laughter, Puck growled and sat down.
"What's the matter, doggy?" Asked Brittany sweetly. "You wanna treat? I'll get you a treat."
Rachel giggled as Brittany got up, completely serious about the treats, and headed into the kitchen.
Puck span the bottle with an expert flick. It went round and round, whizzing so fast no one could hope to know where it would land. All of a sudden, it started slowing down and it stopped in between Rachel and Quinn.
"Mmm!" Puck imitated Santana poorly. "What about you sing... My Humps? BUT you have to sing it like two girls would, not like a guy and a girl would." Rachel glared at Puck, while Quinn just internally smiled and also glared, while she and Rachel got up.
"A performance is a performance." Rachel decided as she stalked over to the stereo, giving Puck looks that could kill. Brittany walked back in and shoved a dog treat in Puck's mouth causing Rachel and Quinn's performance to start with laughter.
"What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?" Quinn began, laughing, while Rachel sent Puck more knifes.
"You're breaking the rules." Puck mouthed.
"I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk," Realizing it was a performance and she played by the rules, Rachel began to pump. Just a little. It wasn't that big. But she was an actor. It didn't count. Right? Right?
"Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps
Check it out" Rachel began walking around the girls. Brittany was back and grinning alongside Santana.
"I drive these sisters crazy,
I do it on the daily,
They treat me really nicely,
They buy me all these ices.
Dolce & Gabbana,
Fendi and that Donna
Karan, they be sharin'
All their money got me wearin' fly
Brother I ain't askin,
They say they love my ass 'n,
Seven Jeans, True Religion's,
I say no, but they keep givin'
So I keep on takin'
And no I ain't taken
We can keep on datin'
I keep on demonstrating." Rachel walked around, a semi-innocent look on her face, shaking her hips and raising her eyebrows, not even knowing what she was doing. Acting. She told herself. That's all it is.
"My love (love), my love, my love, my love (love)
You love my lady lumps (love),
My hump, my hump, my hump (love),
My humps they got you," Rachel stopped for a moment to let Quinn take over.
"She's got me spending, oh" Rachel stepped in front of Quinn, slightly sticking her... lower humps out. Quinn's pulse quickened as Rachel backed into her.
"Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me."
"She's got me spendin', oh" Quinn could barely sing the line as her eyes 'accidentally' wondered down to Rachel's backside. She was going to have to find more words to explain Rachel's fine... whatchamacallit.
"Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me"
"What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?" Quinn was actually wondering in her mind.
"I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump." Rachel giggled as she turned around. How was she allowed to do this? She wasn't. That was the problem. Puck got her insane and out of control.
"What you gon' do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?"
"I'm a make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream
Cos of my hump ha, my hump, my hump, my hump, what.
My hump, my hump, my hump ha, my lovely lady lumps
Check it out"
"They say I'm really sexy,
The girls they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin' a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin' at my lump, lump.
You can look but you can't touch it,
If you touch it I'ma start some drama,
You don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don't pull on my hand girl,
You ain't my man, girl,
I'm just tryn'a dance girl,
And move my hump."
"My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps, lumps
My lovely lady lumps, lumps
My lovely lady lumps, lumps
In the back and in the front, lumps
My lovin' got you,"
"She's got me spendin', oh"
"Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me."
"She's got me spendin', oh"
"Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me."
Rachel ended the song with a clap and one more eye knife towards Puck.
"Alright. My turn now."
Rachel sat down as if a second ago she hadn't been shaking her butt in everyone's face. She didn't feel like that, but hey, she was a good actor when she needed to be.
Puck grinned. "I think we can play a different game now."
"Ugh! No fair." Rachel moaned but listened to what Puck was about to say.
"Spin the bottle?" He grinned.
"Uh, no. Spin the bottle never ends well. I refuse to play. I'm going to bed."
"What bed?" Mike Chang chuckled. Rachel turned so quickly on her foot that it was like stop animation. One second she was facing away from the group, the next she was facing them head on, a scarily icy look on her face.
"Excuse me?" Rachel spat. Santana, who had been chuckling along with Mike until Rachel had turned, gulped silently. But she was going to win that bet. Not only would she get 70 bucks, she would also get... Santana grinned. "Just choose someone to share a bed with."
Puck, Santana, Quinn and Mike stepped forward smiling.
"Ummm..."
Who's she going to choose? I actually have no idea, so please give me ideas! Should it be one of the four or another character like Brittany or Sam? NOT FINN! NEVER FINN! Anyways, reviews are love! R&R and maybe I'll update quicker! Whenever I get those emails saying I have reviews, I get hyper and hyperness equals inspiration and inspiration equals quicker writing! Online tofu and cookies to you all (Let me know when that gets tacky)!
