Title: If You Only Knew 3/?
Author: theblackrose16
Beta: elsa_kallan
Summary: Merlin has spent his whole life hiding things. Living in Camelot merely added to the secrets that he needed to keep. As time goes on and he spends more time with Arthur, Merlin comes to realise that he in is love with the blonde Prince. He is completely unprepared for the fact that Arthur may just return his feelings. As if he didn't have enough to hide, Merlin now has to juggle hiding who he is and his relationship with Arthur. Sooner or later something has to give and all the young warlock can hope for is to still be standing when the dust settles. Set at the end of Season 2
Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur, Morgana/Leon, Gwen/Lancelot, Gwaine, Elyan, Percival, Uther, Gaius, Morgause, Kilgharrah
Genre: slash | Semi-Cannon
Warnings: language, slash, violence, mature sexual situations, spoilers, mpreg
Rating: NC–17
Word Count: 2, 858
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
~XOX~
Chapter Three
A Good Night's Rest
For the first time in a long time, Morgana woke with a smile on her face. In the last few years, more often than not she woke up screaming or to tears running silently down her face. It left her exhausted and dreading sleep nearly every evening.
The door opened quietly and Morgana watched from her bed as Gwen slipped into the room carrying a tray overflowing with breakfast foods. Her maid and friend was wearing a plain yellow dress this morning, a shade Morgana knew she herself could never pull off due to her pale complexion.
Gwen gently set the tray down on the table before turning to her mistress.
"Oh. Good morning, My Lady. You look like you had a wonderful night's sleep."
Remembering her dreams - that she had recently learned were visions thanks to Morgause - the raven haired young woman couldn't resist grinning.
"I did indeed. Thank you, Gwen."
Gwen smiled in return and picked up Morgana's robe, handing it to her mistress to put on as she climbed out of bed.
The young Seer walked over to the table and sat down. Pointing to the chair beside her, she indicted for Gwen to join her for breakfast. This was something that they had been doing more and more frequently.
The two ate breakfast while idly talking about their plans for the day. The atmosphere surrounding the pair was light hearted and happy. Gwen couldn't stop smiling. It was rare indeed that her mistress woke up so happy and she was determined to help Morgana keep her happy mood for as long as possible.
~XOX~
Meanwhile elsewhere in the castle, slowly drifting to consciousness, Merlin felt more rested than he had in years. The bed beneath him was so soft and his pillow - warm and it moved rhythmically up and down almost lulling him back to sleep. A heavy, comforting weight was resting around his shoulders.
Between one moment and the next, the young warlock remembered everything that had transpired the previous night and into the early hours of the morning. He had never once seriously entertained the idea that Arthur thought of him as more than a servant and somewhat friend occasionally.
His human pillow began to stir and the hand resting on his shoulder started to run through his messy dark locks at the base of his neck. Continuing to play with Merlin's hair, Arthur slowly opened his eyes, gazing down at the head resting over his heart.
"Morning," the greeting rumbled through his chest where Merlin's head lay.
"Morning"
A blush spread across Merlin's face and he dropped his eyes to where his fingers had begun tracing an invisible pattern on the Crown Prince's chest without conscious thought.
"Are you having regrets, Merlin?" Arthur asked, sounding so serious and worried that Merlin immediately glanced back up and saw the apprehension reflected in the eyes staring back at him.
"NO! No, I don't. The only thing I might regret is that we didn't make love last night," Merlin replied, thinking he should have taken the chance when he had had it because things happened all the time and at some point Arthur may want nothing to do with him. There was no guarantee that this would last no matter what the Great Dragon said about being them being two sides of the same coin.
"Merlin, I'm not going to push you into things you're not ready for. I told you last night and it bears repeating. I can wait. I don't just want you for the sex, you idiot. And I don't want you here because you feel that you have to, that's it's some sort of obligation or duty."
Merlin studied Arthur with curious eyes. He was surprised that Arthur could think that after all that had transpired between them. He'd have thought that Arthur knew him well enough by now to know that he could never really be forced to do something that he didn't want to.
"I care about you, idiot. More than I should, and more than a simple friend," the blonde continued quietly.
Blue eyes widened during Arthur's little declaration. It was not like the blonde Prince to discuss feelings.
"Do you really?"
"You know I don't say something unless I mean it."
A snort, "Prat" muttered under his breath and then a thorough kiss that left the both of them panting followed.
"Thank you, you royal prat. I...I may also care more for you than would be wise."
Arthur kissed Merlin once again, his tongue running teasingly across Merlin's lower lip before sighing.
"We should probably get up. People will begin looking for us and we don't want you in the stocks, now do we?"
"You're right," Merlin pouted. "But don't get used to me saying it." Arthur chuckled at Merlin's cheek. Only his new lover treated him as if he was a normal, average person. Even his father took his status as Crown Prince into consideration in his dealings with his only son.
Reluctantly the two young lovers climbed out of the large bed and dressed for the day, occasionally stealing a kiss which hindered their progress. Once fully clothed, Merlin gave Arthur a quick kiss on the lips and then darted out of reach before Arthur had a chance to react.
"I shall go and collect your breakfast and be right back, Sire," he teased with a slight bow thrown in.
"Merlin," Arthur called out, "get a plate for yourself too. If anyone asks, just tell them it's on my orders."
The kind thought earned Arthur a beaming smile before Merlin disappeared out the door and down to the castle's kitchens.
Arthur gazed at the closed door with glazed eyes, deep in thought. He had actually taken a huge risk last night and it had turned into the best night of his young life. Merlin cared about him too. Not Crown Prince Arthur of Camelot, just Arthur the young man. The brunette cared for him even though he was constantly muttering what a royal pain in the arse he was. For some reason, his dirty socks were always mentioned.
Arthur trusted Merlin with his life and it had turned out that he had made the right choice seeing as how the young man had saved his life and gotten him out of trouble more times than he could count. After all, saving his life was how Merlin ended up as his manservant. Merlin had even helped save Camelot from a troll Queen. He had to shudder at the mere thought of his dearly departed stepmother. That had been a nightmare to sort out.
Arthur just wished that Merlin trusted him completely. Merlin was actually good at keeping the big secrets. Important secrets. At least he had figured out one of them if last night was anything to go by.
Now he just had to find out what the rest were and he, Crown Prince Arthur Pendragon, would not rest until he knew all about his dark haired lover and his life.
While Arthur was devising his strategy, Merlin was nearly floating down the hallway leading to the kitchens not looking where he was going. He turned a corner and walked literally straight into Gaius, landing himself on the cold, stone floor.
"Merlin, I've been looking everywhere for you. You didn't come home last night. Are you alright?" Gaius asked, extending a hand and helped Merlin off the floor where he had landed.
"Gaius…hi... ummm… yes, I'm fine."
"Then where did you disappear off to last night?"
Merlin's face turned as red as a tomato. He hadn't had time to come up with anything and Gaius always knew when he was hiding something. Well, almost always.
"Ummm...I...errr…ummmm…I….well you see...Ikindofsortofspentthenightwi thArthur."
It took several moments for Gaius to understand his young charge's ramblings. A small smile appeared on his face when understanding dawned. The pair had seemed closer than most masters and servants.
"Are you happy, Merlin?"
"What? Yes, I am, very happy that is, but I never expected you to react so calmly."
"You deserve some happiness, and anyone who knows you both should have been expecting this to happen at some point."
"Thank you, Gaius. I should be going now. Arthur is expecting his breakfast."
"Go then. I think that I shall no longer wait for you in the evenings, shall I?"
The red came back to Merlin's face in full force.
"Errr…no I don't think you need to, thanks."
Ducking around the corner, Merlin all but ran the rest of the way to the kitchens.
"Morning, Marie. How are you this fine morning?"
The woman in charge of the Royal Kitchen looked up from where she was supervising the baking of the loaves of bread at the sound of Merlin's voice. She was in her late forties with brown hair that was greying. She had three sons who were all grown up, and her husband had died from a winter cold that had gotten into his lungs.
"Merlin, right on time today."
The kitchen staff were all well acquainted with Merlin's schedule after the last two years he'd spent serving the Prince.
Merlin gave her a goofy grin in response.
"Prince Arthur asked for two trays this morning."
Marie didn't even blink. She'd been working in the kitchens nearly all her life. The nobility requested all manner of unusual things all the time. A second breakfast was by far the least worrying thing.
"Sure. Susan get Merlin two trays of breakfast for Prince Arthur."
Susan was a young woman with shoulder length blonde hair. She'd only been working in the kitchens for about a year but always had a smile and a kind word for Merlin.
In short order, Merlin had taken the trays with a thanks aimed at Marie and Susan. He quickly made his way back to Arthur's chamber, ducking past the bustling servants already beginning their day's work. As he walked, Merlin remembered his conversation with Gaius and his face immediately flushed red again.
He would need to tell Arthur that Gaius knew. It would make for an interesting conversation over breakfast.
~XOX~
Merlin stumbled into Arthur's chambers with their food, still red in the face. Despite everything, it appeared he could still blush easily and with the slightest provocation.
"Merlin, what is the matter with you? Are you feeling ill?" Arthur asked concerned, looking up from where he was already sitting at the table in his chambers.
"No, it's nothing like that. It's just that... I ran into Gaius and he kind of knows I spent the night. Apparently I'm transparent," he commented while shrugging his shoulders, sounding as if he had no clue where Gaius had gotten that idea.
Arthur laughed under his breath, "Well, if it's any comfort you weren't last night. I just decided to take a chance and to hell with the consequences. I didn't know you'd reciprocate my feelings at all."
Merlin looked surprised, pausing in the middle of the room just before the table, "You were really willing to take that risk?"
Arthur merely nodded, motioning his lover to sit beside him. "Yes. Why don't we start eating before our food becomes cold?"
The two lovers sat and ate, occasionally stealing glances and talking about relatively unimportant things. Feelings of companionship and contentment were pleasant and new for the both of them. They were no longer alone. There was someone to share in their intimate thoughts now.
Merlin stood and cleared the plates once they had finished eating. Now that he thought about it, he was actually glad that Gaius knew. Merlin hated keeping secrets - which was ironic since he had some really big ones. Secrets he was still keeping from Arthur.
As Merlin carried their plates down to the kitchen, he contemplated the biggest secret he was still keeping from Arthur. He was terrified of what would happen if, no – when Arthur found out. He would eventually find out, there was no escaping that particular hard cold truth.
It was one of the main reasons he had come away from last night still a virgin. To give himself completely to Arthur and then have the blonde turn on him would most likely kill him - if not physically then emotionally. Merlin loved Arthur and knew that Arthur cared for him but he still didn't know what Arthur would do. The fear and uncertainty scared him more than anything else.
One of these days I am going to be caught and then it's all over.
Arthur couldn't go against his father for a mere servant even if said servant also happened to be his lover now.
Blinking, Merlin set the plates down and returned in the direction of Arthur's chambers. Along the way, he came across Morgana, whom upon seeing Merlin, smirked at him and a giggle escaped her before she could contain herself.
Merlin stopped when he reached her and raised an eyebrow in question. Morgana simply grabbed his arm and hauled him into the nearest empty room. She locked the door before speaking in a teasing tone, "Oh Merlin, I had a dream last night."
The young man swallowed audibly and a nervous look flitted across his face. Slowly, Morgana turned to face Merlin. Her smirk was in full force now.
"Do you want to know what I dreamed about?"
"I'm not entirely sure I want to know," Merlin muttered under his breath even though it was loud enough for her to hear.
Morgana continued speaking as if she hadn't heard him though, choosing instead to ignore him, "It was quiet an unusual dream. You were sitting on the floor in Arthur's chambers. Arthur came in, locked the door behind him and proceeded to kiss the living daylights out of you. The two of you didn't leave the room until the next morning. Peculiar isn't it?" She didn't mention what else she'd seen in her dreams, visions of a future still a while away but nonetheless they had been happy ones. Visions that she looked forward to coming to pass instead of wanting to find a way to prevent them.
Merlin blushed, "I umm…well you see the thing is….funny you should mention it….ummm…"
"Give it up, Merlin. I can see the love bite just barely visible above your kerchief.."
Automatically, one of Merlin's hands flew up to cover the left side of his neck then went bright red under Morgana's knowing gaze. Her smirk turned into a full-fledged smile at his telling reaction.
Realizing that his actions had betrayed him, Merlin went even redder.
"I…ummm…"
Morgana walked forward and grasped his hands, "It's alright Merlin. I think it's great. Ever since Arthur met you he started changing, becoming a better person. It's one of the major reasons I decided to come back instead of staying with Morgause. You've changed him and he has changed you. For the better."
"Well, he is still a royal prat."
They both laughed, "Yes but you love him anyway."
"Yeah, I guess I do," Merlin became nervous with the way Morgana was still smiling at him.
"I had better be getting back to Arthur." The young warlock started edging towards the door.
"You do that. Oh and Merlin?"
"Yes, Morgana?"
"Try to keep the love bites hidden. Uther will most likely have a fit if he sees them. I wouldn't put it past him to have you thrown in the dungeons." Morgana was much more serious now.
Merlin flushed at the reminder and fled down the corridor with a nod in her direction.
Feeling light and carefree, Morgana made her way outside to the gardens hidden behind the massive stone castle. No one else was around and the raven haired beauty took her time strolling through the gardens, soaking up the peace and sunshine.
Morgana had no idea how much time had passed as she enjoyed the sunshine until a voice broke into her thoughts
"Oh, forgive me, My Lady. I didn't see you there. Forgive me for having disturbed you."
It was a man's voice and one that the young Seer knew well. He was always well spoken and had treated her with a lot of respect. He was one of the few of Arthur's knights that she felt completely comfortable with.
"It's alright Sir Leon." Looking up at him, Morgana felt a sudden impulsiveness seize her. "Won't you join me?" She indicated the vacant half of the stone benching she was currently seated upon.
Leon appeared indecisive for a few moments before nodding his head in acceptance. "I'd love to My Lady."
"Its Morgana when we're alone, please Sir Leon. I hope we know each other well enough by now for that."
Morgana turned her body so that it was angled towards the blonde knight as she spoke. Without thought, she caught a strand of her hair hanging over her shoulder and began absently playing with it.
Leon gave her a real smile, not one of his polite I'm-in-public smiles. A feeling of nervousness fluttered in the pit of Morgana's stomach at the sight.
"Of course Morgana. And it is just Leon."
