And this…is the result of Buckley's and Chocolate. WORSE MIX. DON'T TRY IT D= …ughh, I had a relapse, I'm sicker than ever. So…the story chapter below might make zero to no sense. Wait…isn't that the same thing?...Ugh.
"Welcome to Wilderness Adventures! I'm your host Oscar "The Wizard" Diggs, and with me is Avaric "Cart Boy" Tenmedows!" started the Wizard.
"Cart MAN, I'm not a boy!"
"That's great lad, now our contestants are just about to be dropped in a different part of the Forest of Oz, where they'd battle great beasts, use all their survival skills, and challenge death himself for the one they love!"
"Snakes, bears, thirst, oh my!" cried Avaric.
"Haha, indeed, now let's go to Galinda Upland with Madame Morrible."
*In helicopter*
"So Galinda, how do you think you're going to do? What's your strategy in the forest?"
"Well, I don't know too much about survival, but I do know that'll I be needed food, water, and shelter."
"Any idea on how you'll be getting these things?"
"You mean that it's not already set up for me?" asked a wide eyed Galinda.
"Uh, no dear."
"THEN THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE! AHHH!" She shrieked.
"Calm down dearie, here you're allowed this hatchet." Said Morrible has she handed it to her.
"What good is this? I can't even cut my nails with these!" screamed Galinda in a shrill voice.
"Uh, back to you, you're Ozness." Mumbled Morrible.
*Back at the studio*
"Well then…she should be fun to watch, ain't that right, Wizard?" Chuckled Avaric.
"Oh for sure." Agreed Oscar.
"Now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for! We'll count down together before the contestants are to sky dive out of their helicopters!"
"Three!"
"Two!"
"One!"
*Gun shot*
"The contest is officially underway! So, Avaric, who should we view first?"
"Hmm, I want to see some Nessa action. I mean, how is she going to land?"
*Cameras zoom to Nessa falling through the sky*
"AHHHHH! THIS IS CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT!"
"Uh, Oscar, this can't possibly be legal to do to someone handicapped…" started Avaric.
"Not to worry my boy! Keep watching!" smile the Wizard.
Nessa plummeted head first into the shallow lake, as her head broke the surface she spat out water and cursed. As she crawled onto land, she spotted an electric wheelchair.
"Ahh, clever, make the water absorb the impact." Noted Avaric.
"Of course lad!"
"But the wheelchair…isn't that a bit of an advantage?"
"Not at all, it can only go up to ten miles an hour, while I'm sure Master Fiyero could sprint roughly twenty. Speaking of Fiyero, let's go to Prince Charming now."
*Cameras focus on Fiyero*
Fiyero was hopelessly tangled in his parachute, "Aw c'mon! Who put this random tree here?" Moaned Fiyero as he tried using his hatchet to cut his way out of the cloth. He finally fell free and landed flat on his back.
"Ouch! He's gonna feel that in the morning!" Laughed Avaric.
Fiyero's stomach rumbled.
"Oh Oz. I need some food."
As he started making his way farther into the forest, he knew he could easily survive these forests, he'd been training for these kinds of things back when he was a kid in the Vinkus.
"Heh, I'm so gonna win." Said Fiyero with an arrogant grin.
"Hey Oscar, says here that Fiyero had to survive a week on his own back in Winkie country as apart of his manhood ceremony thing." Pointed out Avaric, "So he has an advantage."
"Maybe if this was any old forest, but these are my forests! I could make the whole arena transform into magical pony land! I could cause the lions in the forest to grow eight times in size, or turn the water into apple juice! Lad, I could do anything to the contestants. No one has any advantage." Said Oscar with an all knowing smile.
"Oscar, that sounds really creepy and sadistic." Said Avaric in a deadpan voice.
"Yeah, but don't worry, I'm not that messed up, let's just enjoy the show!"
*Cameras go to Elphaba*
"That should about do it." Mumbled Elphaba as she finished tying up her parachute into a make shift tent.
"Woah! How did she do that already Oscar?" Exclaimed an impressed Avaric.
"She's quite sharp isn't she?"
"Sharp? She's already got a tent, firewood, oh- and now a fire! She created a fire by putting a droplet of water on her glasses, held it to the sun, and directed the beam of light onto her pile of wood! Genius! Now she can boil water for drinking too! She's right next to a pond!"
Avaric was in awe at the green girl.
"Avaric? Son, close your mouth, you'll attract moths. How about we go to Galinda now?"
*Screens flicker to an image of the blonde*
"What's she doing?" Asked the Wizard.
"I have absolutely no idea…" Replied Avaric.
Galinda was standing in a river, not moving. She needed to find food, but didn't know which berries were edible, so she decided to catch some fish. However, catching fish and finding fish were two very different tasks.
"Not. Fair." Mumbled Galinda under her breath.
"What was that?" Said Avaric as he cocked head ever so slightly.
"I get my feet wet by walking into this river, and there's no fish! That's just not fair!" Pouted Galinda.
Then she saw a flicker of movement with the corner of her left eye.
A fish!
Galinda jumped in the direction of the fish, but to no avail. She had missed.
"My clothes! Ahhhhhhh!"
"Ahahahahahaha!" Laughed both the Wizard and Avaric.
"Oh man, I love this girl! She's so pathetic it's…hilarious!" Laughed Avaric, clutching his sides.
"Now, now that's not nice to say." Said the Wizard, trying to suppress his laughter.
"She's totally out of her element. She belongs at a mall, not in the forest!" Continued Avaric.
"I'm sure she'll pick up a few things along the way, this competition could last from a week to three months! Maybe even more, but now, let's turn our attention to the Munchkin, Boq." Said the Wizard.
Boq was chopping down wood with his hatchet.
"A lot of help wood's going to do if you don't have a fire." Mused Avaric.
"Keep watching boy, and hold your tongue." Scolded Oscar.
Boq stacked the logs one by one, on top of each other...he was making a house.
"Hey, where'd he get the rope?"
"Ingenious, young Boq used the rope from his parachute! Looks like Miss Thropp has some competition in terms of survival skills."
"That's pretty fine looking house, and Munckin boy's a lot stronger than he looks." Mumbled Avaric.
"Indeed. But he has no water, and according to this map of the forest I just so happen to have, he's at least four kilometres away from any water source."
"Wuh ohhh, that's not good. He'll have to leave his shelter for quite a long period of time just to get some water."
"Indeed. Well folks, this has been day one of wilderness adventures! You've met the contenders, now stay tuned, and we'll see how they fare tomorrow! Who knows, there might be something as radical as a tornado, or a random bear attack on a poor unsuspecting contestant! This has been Oscar "The Wizard" Diggs."
"And Avaric "Cart man" Tenmedows, on Wilderness Adventures, thanks for watching!"
This was slightly based on The Hunger Games; don't ask me why, I've been drugged with Buckley's…
Reviews would be nice though =]
