000
Gwen can't believe that Arthur kissed her. He had kissed her. Her feelings for Arthur had changed so many times throughout the years she'd known him but for the first time in her life, Gwen was hopeful of a future for them. Sure, the old man in funny clothes had shown her things that were beyond her wildest dreams but this, Arthur kissing her in her house had happened for real. This was real.
000
Gwen made her way back to her house. Arthur had won the tournament but he had let the other man, William of Deira, get the credit for it. Gwen was really proud of him. Now that the tournament was over, Arthur had officially returned Camelot and Merlin had already taken his things back to the castle.
Gwen opened her door and jumped. "You gave me a fright," she told the man inside.
"I'm sorry," the old man with the funny clothes apologized.
"What is it this time?" Gwen asked him laughing. "Am I going to see my grandchildren?" She was beginning to enjoy these strange visits. They gave her such hope.
000
This time Gwen wasn't part the scene, she was an outsider watching the scenes from afar. She saw herself making a bed in the castle, watched Arthur blindfold her and take her to a room full of candles and ask her to become his wife. Gwen gasped, as she watched the scene, it was breathtakingly beautiful.
Gwen closed her eyes. When she opened them she saw herself kneeling before Arthur, in tears. What was happening?
"What are you still doing on your knees, am I just your King? Get up for, heaven's sake. I was to be your husband." Arthur was angry. Gwen saw herself get up and stand before him, tears running down her face. What had she done?
"What happened, Guinevere?" he asked. "We were happy. I know we were happy." Gwen watched herself nod. He asked her if she had felt it too, and he asked if she loved him, had always loved him? Who was Arthur talking about? Who was that man? She heard herself deny the accusation in tears. She loved Arthur.
"Tomorrow was our wedding day," Arthur said. Gwen bit back a loud gasp and was surprised that they didn't react. What was going on?
"If you had worries," he began.
"I wasn't worried," she denied.
"If you had doubts," he said.
"I didn't have doubts," she replied.
"Then forgive me," Arthur shouted. "Because I must be really stupid," he shook her, "What were you doing?" He apologized and let go of her.
"No," Guinevere said. "It is I who should be sorry. You mean everything to me Arthur. Once there was Lancelot a long time ago," who was Lancelot? "But I haven't considered him in that way for many years." Arthur stared at her. "He was dead, I thought I'd never see him again and then when I did I was overwhelmed." Gwen saw Arthur's jaw tighten. "I was drawn to him I couldn't stop myself. I don't know why."
Guinevere was in tears, watching herself explain knowing that it clear she wasn't getting through. "I love you," Gwen heard herself proclaim; "you mean everything to me." Gwen paused and took a deep breath. "All these years I've waited for you," she added.
"You only had to wait one more day," Arthur replied quietly.
"All I ever wanted was to be your queen," Gwen said. "I still want to be your queen."
"Do you know what they're saying," Arthur asked her. "That in my father's day you would be put to death." Gwen waited to hear him say it. That she was to be executed. "I don't want to you see dead, Guinevere," Arthur said. "But I don't want to see you." Gwen waited, holding her mouth so as not to make a sound. What did he mean? "I cannot look on you every day; you will leave Camelot at first light." He refused to listen to her entreaties. "You will return to Camelot on pain of death. That is my decision."
Arthur turned and looked at Gwen and said, "I am sorry."
Gwen watched him leave her in tears. Where did he expect her to go, to do?
Gwen turned to the old man and pleaded with him, "Please tell me that this isn't true. That he didn't banish her, me, please. Tell me this isn't real."
000
Gwen listened to Arthur tell his father what could only be described as farfetched tales but the court seemed to believe them. Arthur managed to convince his father that there had been enough bloodshed. Arthur smiled at her and she smiled back before remembered the tears she had seen herself shed and she looked away from him.
Afterwards as she watched Arthur walk off with his father she thought to herself that maybe it was better to let Arthur go. Maybe it was better not to let herself risk anymore than she already had.
If the future she had thought she could have with Arthur was not to be then she would protect her heart. She would keep away from Arthur Pendragon.
Far away.
000
Thanks for reading and reviewing.
