In My Veins
By: A.K. Hunter
Chapter Three
"And I am finally seeing why I was the one worth leaving." - The Postal Service
A month had passed since Jenny stuck Kevin with divorce papers. They'd barely spoken since, though not for lack of trying on Kevin's part. He'd texted her several times daily, called every morning and night, and had even gone over to Jenny's parents' house - her temporary home - to talk to her. That particular visit hadn't gone well. Not only had she refused to talk to him, her parents had strongly advised him to sign the divorce papers. "Let her move on," Jenny's father had said. The fact that the request came from a couple of Irish Catholics would have been ironic to Kevin, in different circumstances.
Jenny's things had started to disappear from their apartment. At first he hadn't noticed it, but as the days went on, and their home began to look more and more empty, Kevin realized that she was returning during the day while he was at work and slowly moving out. Kevin had asked her about it in one of his innumerable voice mails. Naturally, she didn't return his call. She absolutely refused to talk to him until the divorce papers were signed and in the custody of her attorney.
Kevin didn't know what to do. The life he wanted, the life he had worked his ass off to create, was slipping through his fingers. The tighter he seemed to hold on, the faster it escaped.
Javier knew. Kevin told him after two days had passed since Jenny served him with papers and she still hadn't come home. The resulting bender they went on was not pretty, but Kevin appreciated the sentiment. It was awful being alone in the apartment, his and Jenny's apartment, the home they had created together. The home Sarah had grown in for nearly six months. Without Jenny, the intrinsic meaning of the place ceased to exist. Without Jenny, their home was just an apartment, empty of love, with shattered dreams lying across the nursery floor.
Kevin stared blearily at his computer. Castle and Beckett were vacationing in Mexico, so Javier and Kevin were on their own. Though the two detectives were perfectly capable of solving murders without Beckett and Castle, it was helpful to have two extra sets of hands on the case. Kevin had been looking through the recent vic's financials for over an hour. It was time for more coffee.
They'd finally solved the case of the Valentine's Day carver. Turns out their vic didn't really have such a perfect, boring life. They'd eventually discovered another identity that he used to run an underground drug ring. The vic had been tortured and killed on a professional hit, and the killer was in custody, though he refused to give up the identity of the person who hired him. That wasn't Kevin's problem, though. That would be the DA's problem.
As he got up from his desk, Kevin saw Javier in the break room, watching him. Once he noticed Kevin looking back Javier fumbled, dropping his coffee cup on the floor.
Real smooth, Javie.
His partner's all too sympathetic face made Kevin rethink his need for caffeine. Those sympathetic faces, all he'd seen for the last eight months, were now amplified by the recent development. After Sarah died, Kevin had hoped with time the pity would get better, that people would start treating him like a person instead of kicked puppy. But with Jenny's decision it didn't look like that would happen any time soon. He was back at square one. Poor, sad Kevin. Once he was happy. He was a father, a husband. Now he wasn't any of those things.
His phone rang.
"Ryan."
It was Lanie. Apparently she had something good for them.
"On my way."
He glanced over to the break room, where Javier was still cleaning up his mess. Quickly and quietly, Kevin grabbed his keys and snuck over to the elevator. Javier could keep his sympathy.
Kevin wasn't a father any more, and maybe he was a failure as far as husbands go, but one thing hadn't changed.
He was still a damn good cop.
Kevin made it four blocks before Javier started calling. He let it go to voice mail. When he got to the hospital, the elevator doors closing in front of him, he wondered if Lanie would get involved in this issue. It was more than likely that she knew. Javier couldn't keep his mouth shut around her.
Kevin supposed Alexis could have told Lanie, but for some reason he didn't think she would do that. Maybe that was giving her more credit than she'd earned. He'd find out soon enough.
Ever since the night with the pepper spray, things had changed between them. There was a camaraderie there that hadn't existed before. She didn't ask about things with Jenny, and he didn't share any more information with her. He had already shared more with her than he was comfortable with. Kevin wasn't sure what possessed him to spill the beans to Alexis of all people. He'd only intended to go to her apartment, offer an apology, and move on. Of course, from the start things hadn't gone as planned. He'd certainly never expected to be maced by Castle's daughter. The memory of that night brought a small smile to his face.
Kevin thought back to the moment on the couch. It nagged at him constantly. The image was seared into his memory: her bright blue eyes staring down at him with dilated pupils, the color across her cheekbones, the way her hair framed her face. And that half-second when her eyes slipped down to his mouth played over and over again in his brain.
The whole thing made him feel a little uneasy. He wondered if Alexis was even aware of the effect it had on him. It was natural, he supposed. She was a beautiful girl and had been so gentle as she washed the pepper spray from his eyes. It had felt so good, not only to have the mace removed from his eyes, but to feel someone's touch on his face, to have someone close by, to feel their weight next to him. He hadn't realized it, but it had been months since he and Jenny had been close like that, even in that shy, platonic manner.
He found himself replaying their conversation in his mind, paying extra attention to the way she acted around him. Despite his discomfort, he couldn't honestly say that she had ever been anything but kind and professional to him.
Except for that moment that he couldn't let go of.
Kevin sighed, running his hands through his hair. He was probably just affection-starved and making something out of nothing.
He burst through the door to the morgue, where Lanie had the body prepped and ready. Alexis wasn't there.
"Hey Lanie. What have you got for me?"
Lanie went over the vic's wounds, and Kevin noticed that she looked a little down. Was she disappointed that Javie hadn't come with him? Kevin had spent the morning listening to Javier stress over the date they had planned that night. The older detective was hell-bent on making it as special as possible, without actually making it look like it was special.
Esplanie, as Castle liked to call them, were a bit of an odd couple. They were completely devoted to each other, though almost pathological in their need to make sure that they weren't exclusive. They pretended to be no-strings-attached, except that was obviously not actually the case. For a moment Kevin felt grateful that things with Jenny had never been that hard, and then he remembered that he and Jenny had their own set of problems.
"I'll call it in to Javie. Thanks Lanie."
He turned to leave, and was almost smacked in the face by the swinging doors as Alexis came in, bearing a tray of instruments. The girl certainly knew how to make an entrance.
"Oh hi!" She said brightly.
Kevin felt a smile spread across his face, suddenly feeling a lot more welcome. "Hey." He noticed Lanie watching their interaction, and decided to take his leave, dialing Javier on the way.
As he waited for the elevator, he heard soft footsteps behind him.
"Kevin?"
He wasn't sure if he was nervous or glad to talk to her without a dead body in the immediate vicinity. He kept his face composed. "Hello again." He got a secret thrill out of watching the blush spread across her face. She kept fidgeting with the file in her arms, and seemed a little jittery. "What's up?"
Alexis took a second to compose herself, then began that rapid-fire speech that Kevin had come to learn was a nervous tic. Naturally, he didn't understand a word of it.
He placed his hands on her shoulders. "Wow, hey. I can't understand a word you say when you talk like that."
Alexis' diatribe paused as she stared into his eyes. She blushed to the roots of her hair, stepping back, away from his touch. "Sorry." She took a deep breath. "I was wondering if you could teach me self-defense."
Kevin blinked.
This was a new one. He didn't know what he had been expecting, but self-defense lessons were not it. "What's this about?"
She looked down at the floor, suddenly getting jittery again. He felt a rush of frustration, not at her, but at whatever or whoever had caused this situation. "Alexis, is someone bothering you?"
Her eyes widened, returning briefly to his own before looking somewhere else. A lying tic.
"No! No, it's nothing like that." She composed herself, her agitated features smoothing over. "I just… I'm working with the police now. It's probably a good skill set to have. And you handled the other night so well. You were so fast. I just thought it would be good to learn." She glanced up at him briefly before returning her gaze to the floor.
Kevin just stared at her for a moment, his instincts telling him something was amiss. His phone rang in his pocket. He ignored it. Alexis displayed all the signals of lying. Why would she lie to him about something like this?
"You know what? Nevermind. Forget I said anything." Alexis said softly, giving him a reassuring smile. She turned to go back to the morgue, and he caught her wrist.
He felt heat flare up his arm at the contact. "Alexis-"
His phone rang again. Kevin pulled it out of his pocket, ready to ignore the caller, but stopped, seeing Jenny's name on the screen.
"You'd better get that." She said, pulling her wrist out of his grasp.
"Yeah," Kevin said distractedly. He stared at his ringing phone for a moment before pressing answer and placing it against his ear.
"Ryan."
That was stupid. Of course it was Kevin Ryan.
If Jenny noticed his blunder, she didn't mention it. She wanted to meet for dinner. The call was short, but Kevin was hopeful.
Did she miss him? Maybe she wanted to reconcile. The thought filled him with relief and excitement. Kevin got on the elevator, practically singing with joy, not realizing that Alexis had left during his phone call and that he never got an answer out of her.
Her strange behavior had completely slipped his mind.
Kevin met Jenny at the restaurant. It was one of their favorites. Kevin thought this was a hopeful sign. He remembered the countless date nights they spent at the restaurant, leaving late, a little tipsy from their drinks, bellies full of their favorite foods. Surely Jenny wouldn't bring him here if she didn't want to make things work.
He walked in, hoping it would be busy. They could sit together at the bar and chat before eating. He looked around and spotted Jenny already seated at a booth in the corner. Sure enough, it was their favorite spot in the restaurant.
Kevin leaned over to kiss her on the cheek, but she turned away. "I've already ordered. The waiter will be back in a moment to take yours," she said.
Okay, maybe this wouldn't be so good.
He took his jacket off, set it over the back of his seat, and took a spot next to her."Sorry I'm late. Murders, you know."
Jenny just shrugged.
He held her hand. "It's so good to see you. How are you?"
"I'm fine." She took her hand back, placing it in her lap. She didn't seem particularly pleased to see him.
For several minutes they sat in silence, punctuated by Kevin attempting to talk to her. Each time she gave short answers, giving nothing away. Finally Kevin had enough. "Are you mad at me or something?"
She raised a delicate eyebrow at her husband. "Really?"
Her response only made him more frustrated. "It's a genuine question! You invited me here, and now you're acting like you don't even want to talk to me."
"You're a piece of work, you know that? For eight months you buried yourself in your work. Being a 24/7 "super detective." Do you know how long it's been since we were a real couple, Kevin? You checked out of this marriage a long time ago, and now that I want out, you're holding me as an emtional hostage. Tell me, why wouldn't I be angry?"
Kevin was taken aback by the venom in his wife's voice. "I'm trying to make it up to you, Jenny. I've been calling, texting. I tried to talk to you at your parents' house. I'm trying to fix this."
"I don't want you to fix it. I don't want to make this work. I don't want to be married to you anymore."
Kevin felt the last fragments of his heart break. "You don't mean that."
Jenny's face softened. She took his hand, "Yes, Kev. I do. We've been over for a long time now. I just want to make it official." She slid out of the booth and kissed his cheek. "I've got to go. Please sign the papers, Kevin. It's time to move on."
Kevin sat back in the booth, trying to breathe through the crushing grief. He signaled the waiter over, requesting his meal be packaged to go. He'd eat it at home.
Alone.
Author's Note: Poor Ryan. Things are just getting worse for him. And what's up with Alexis? First she maces Kevin, and now she wants to learn self defense? It's not looking great for these two.
Thanks to Hamlet 77, JamieSpencer4, and all of the lovely guests for reviewing. Again, I'm always interested in feedback, positive or constructively negative, so let me know how you're liking the story thus far. There is a huge shortage of "Rylexis" fanfiction, so I want to make this as compelling as possible for all you wonderful readers. (Any of you lovelies who ship Rylexis and are thinking of writing a story about them, please do! We are a small subfandom. We need more stories!)
Thanks for stopping by,
A.K. Hunter
