Here's chapter 3! Featuring Naruto's point of view, for once. This one takes place a bit into the future compared to the other two chapters as well. There are few hints to help you place this onto a timeline, that are dropped rather indiscreetly, the most important of which is mentioned a bit near the end.
Remember, I'm writing all these drabbles/one-shots with continuity in mind, even if they can be read on their own.
Anyways, enjoy!
Babysitting: Man vs. Baby
The... thing cried out loudly, making him wince as he tried to soothe it and figure out what was wrong.
"H-hey, don't cry... please?"
It ignored him, as though it hadn't heard him at all, and he slumped down in his chair as he stared at... it.
The baby.
The baby cried, and cried, and cried, and he absently wondered when that baby girl would run out of breath.
Uzumaki Naruto silently cursed, and resumed his efforts to calm the baby down, though most of his attempts were fruitless.
WHY was he babysitting?
"I'm the Hokage, damnit! This is like a D-rank mission that I would give Genins! So why is the Hokage stuck on babysitting duty?" He ruffled his hair irritatedly, his own sapphire blue eyes staring into the baby's clear, white eyes, a clear sign of the girl's blood.
"Wait, if I remember, Hanabi-chan gave me something to help me out... now where did I put it..." Though her crying had gotten quieter, it had yet to stop, placing the blond Hokage into a panic as he turned around in various ways, trying to find the object he sought.
"Ah, here it is!" He grabbed the object, which had been placed off to the side of his desk, behind a stack of papers, took a good look at it, and remembered what it was.
"A rattle... right... aren't these things supposed to be useless? At least, I've never heard of them ever being useful in making babies stop crying..." Naruto muttered to himself, nevertheless attempting to give it a shot as he walked up to the baby cradled placed to the side of his office.
"H-here ya' go... p-please stop cryin' now..." He shook the rattle lightly above baby. Naruto kept the effort up, ushering soothing words (he'd never imagined himself ever doing this, and he'd doubt he'd ever live it down if one of his more... gossipy friends saw this) as he tried his utter hardest to make the damned baby STOP CRYING.
... And stop she did. Slowly, but surely, the baby's crying quieted down, the girl now staring wide-eyed at the rattle.
Though Naruto didn't show it, he was indeed shocked.
'Huh, these rattle things are more useful than I thought!' He thought to himself, never once slowing down his shaking of the rattle in fear that she might start to cry again.
Then the she giggled, cooing and reaching out towards the rattle.
And Naruto felt like his heart just melted.
"No, Naruto!" He shouted outloud, towards nothing but himself, his voice echoing throughout his office, "don't be fooled! These things are dangerous... if you let your guard down, they'll chip away at your sanity until there's nothing left and you turn into a sociopathic mass-murderer!"
The baby laughed again.
"Stop that!"
Another laugh.
Apparently she thought he was either funny... or funny-looking, as the baby stared happily at the blond, who began to sweat.
"Wh-what is it? I-is it my hair? It's my hair isn't it! What's wrong with my hair?"
Yet another giggle.
"H-hey, stop laughing at me, kid..." Naruto placed his hands on the cradle and peered closer inside at the baby, who's silly smile and the hint of drool at the edge of her face betrayed what Naruto knew her true, devious intentions were.
And yet he fell for it anyway.
"Hey kid, ya' got some drool on ya' there..." He reached in and lifted up the light-as-a-feather baby (to him), and reached for her bib, using it to wipe away the saliva away from her cheeks.
However, before he could retract his arm, the baby, with surprisingly quick speed (or so Naruto would say), grabbed his index finger.
Naruto froze.
"Wh... what are you going to do with that," he eyed the baby girl suspiciously, "I-I'll have you know, I'm a pretty strong guy! I-I could probably kill you before you could even cry for your mommy! S-so l-let go now, o-okay?"
Why was he threatening a baby?
Or rather...
Why was he so scared?
The young baby, slowly, pulled over Naruto's finger towards her face. The blond broke out into a sweat as his finger continued to inch on over, ever closer.
Until finally...
She placed his finger inside her mouth.
"AWW GROSS, now I've got baby spit all over my finger! H-hey, let go! You're getting slobber all over my finger!"
She didn't listen.
Instead, she bit down.
"O-ow! I-I mean it, stop it right now! O-or, or I'll...!"
Why couldn't he think of anything?
The baby continued to bit and drool all over his finger, and Naruto was powerless to stop her.
Powerless.
To think, the Hokage, strongest shinobi in the village of Konoha, could lose without even being able to do anything...
To a baby, of all things!
So...
He waited, until the baby would stop sucking on his finger and let go.
And waited.
And waited...
And...
"Hey, is my finger really that tasty?"
The baby girl only blinked.
"I bet I taste like ramen."
The baby giggled while the tip of his finger was still in her mouth, obscuring the laughter.
Naruto groaned, and decided that he'd rather sit down while this happened so that he could rest his legs, and sat down in his desk chair, baby still in his arms. And then, just when he was about to relax himself...
"Oh, Naruto?" A muffled voice rang out from behind the doors to his office, and a knock followed afterward. Without waiting for an answer, the owner of the voice opened the doors and strode inside, as if she owned the place.
"Hanabi-chan? What're you doing back here? I thought you were helping out Hinata with... whatever it was," he looked as his fiancee and questioned her, raising an eyebrow and completely ignorant of Hanabi's questioning stares at the baby and his finger.
"Clan duties," Hanabi corrected, "now that onee-chan's been made the head of the clan, she's got a lot to do right now. And that's why you're taking care of her daughter, my niece and your niece-in-law, remember?"
"Oh yeah..." Naruto bobbed his head slowly in remembrance. He would have likely scratched the back of his head as well, but currently both of his hands were... occupied, "but wait, you didn't answer my question. What're you doing here?"
"I just wanted to check up on how you were doing with little Tsubasa-chan here and making sure you hadn't screwed up," Hanabi crossed her arms and looked at Tsubasa in Naruto's arms, happily sucking away at his finger, "but... it looks like you're doing alright, so I guess I'll head back..."
"WAIT! T-take her with you, please! I-I can't take care of a baby!"
"Oh please, you're doing fine. Just think of it as practice for when we have our own family, alright?" After that, Hanabi turned around, and strode out of the office indifferently, in the same way she'd come in.
Naruto stared blankly at the now closed doors, before his mind finally realized what his fiancee had said, not registering that Tsubasa had giggled and finally let go of his finger.
"Wait, WHAT?"
Aaaand that's a wrap. I hope you had fun reading it!
Tsubasa is entirely made up, of course. As a future warning, there will be OCs further along the "timeline". Like... Naruto and Hanabi's children (hint hint). They aren't too important, but expect some of them to make a semi-regular appearance. Of course, nothing is really too important in this story.
As for updates, I know that as much as some of you would have me update everyday, I'm (probably) not going to end up doing that. At most, an update every few days. At the latest, once a week. Still, I'm writing these for fun for the most part, so please don't get angry when I don't update for a prolonged period of time. I've mentioned this back in chapter 1 as well.
Of course, I doubt people would get angry over a guy not updating a drabble/one-shot collection.
Hanabi: Any and all constructive criticism are welcome and encouraged, so that this guy doesn't somehow butcher my character in the future.
Naruto: Not that it's hard to ruin your character. You've only had one real appearance in the manga, you know...
Hanabi: Sh-shut up!
