Ship Just Got Real
XX
"Line up, ladies! NOW!"
The Middleton Mad Dog cheerleading squad stumbled over each other as they rushed across the gym floor to get into position. Kim and Bonnie, as usual, elbowed each other to try to get a spot in the center of the line, although their elbowing seemed more vicious than usual. Steve Barkin stood at attention in front of the line of cheerleaders.
"I know that normally you ladies have cheer practice to yourselves, but I needed to give you some very important information – wait, where's Stoppable?"
The gym doors burst open as a gasping figure ran across the court while putting on the Middleton Mad Dog mascot head. "I'm here Mr. B! Don't worry, the show can go on!"
Ron skidded to a halt in front of Mr. Barkin and shook his mascot head wildly. A spray of banana cream foam whipped across the room, hitting Mr. Barkin square in the face. The teacher stood quivering in anger, while behind him Bonnie waved seductively at Ron from the line of cheerleaders.
"STOPPABLE!" Mr. Barkin paused to lick some foam away from his lips. "That is good foam." He decided to fight the overwhelming urge to give Ron detention.
"Now, ladies, listen up! As you all know, Teen Cheer is holding their 'Best Cheerleader in the Midwestern United States Area' contest. Multiple schools in the area will be competing with us, including Upperton High School and several high schools in Go City. Only one cheerleader from all of these schools will be picked as the winner. You've all had a couple weeks now to think about your routines, which I hope you've been practicing, because they've chosen to host the contest right here at Middleton High School, and it's coming up the weekend after next. But that is NOT why I'm here today!
"As Middleton High School's head coach, I am indirectly responsible for the conduct of the cheer squad. Teen Cheer will have a journalist at the contest, and you ladies need to be on your best behavior! The eyes of that portion of the Midwestern United States that happens to read cheerleading magazines will be upon us. That means one wrong move and Middleton's reputation is tarnished. FOREVER. So no fighting. Particularly the two of you!"
Barkin pointed an accusatory finger at Kim and Bonnie. Kim smiled sheepishly, while Bonnie raised her eyebrows in surprise, gesturing to herself as if to ask Barkin to whom he was referring.
"Oh, and you, Stoppable. Please do NOT spray the representative journalist with banana cream! Just don't take the head with you at all to the contest, we don't need a mascot for that. Actually, give that to me now." Barkin grabbed the head and walked to the gym doors. "Alright ladies, that is all! Resume your cheer practice!"
Bonnie walked to the bleachers where Ron was sitting and picked up a pair of Pom-pons she had left lying there. "You're going to help me practice my routine for the magazine contest, aren't you Ronnie?"
"Sure, Bonnie." Ron noticed that Kim was trying to avoid glancing at the pair of them as she began to practice with the other cheerleaders. He felt a twinge of guilt, but it went away when he thought of Josh Mankey. Kim would just have to see what her own medicine tasted like.
XX
It was a gorgeous afternoon in Middleton, and the sun shone down happily on the Middleton Mall as the town's residents did their shopping. The parking lot was filled with shoppers who were enjoying the weather in shorts and light summer clothing. Birds chirped in joyous song as they hopped around the asphalt, waiting to peck at tidbits of food dropped by the passing shoppers.
For one particular group of birds, joy turned to terror as a silver Porsche rocketed into the empty parking space they had been occupying. Feathers scattered through the air as the driver's side door opened and a tanned girl with sunglasses stepped out, brushing back her brown hair theatrically.
"Daddy lets me borrow his car whenever I want," she said to her blonde-haired companion as he stepped out of the passenger side. "It's basically my car, really."
"It's pretty nice, but I like my scooter. You know, sometimes, when it's just me and my machine and the black-"
"Yeah, whatever. Come on, follow me!"
Ron trailed behind Bonnie as she entered the mall and made a beeline for Club Banana. Bonnie had called him after school and told him to be ready for her to pick him up at his house – she didn't want him interacting with her family quite yet. Her particular choice of words was that they were going to be doing a little accessorizing. Ron wasn't sure what that word meant, but the way Bonnie was brandishing several credit cards as she entered the Club Banana outlet made him a bit nervous.
"Alright Ron, here's the deal. If you want to be my fake boyfriend, you need to dress the part. That red sweater-vest thing and black undershirt? So not going to fly! So, we're going to dress you up a little bit and see how much of a miracle worker I really am. Plus, if you're dressed better than Kim, she's going to freak!"
Ron noticed Monique standing at the checkout counter with her arms crossed. He walked up to her as Bonnie cackled and dashed off to a rack of expensive-looking clothing. "Hey Monique, what's up!"
Monique looked incredulously at Bonnie as she sifted through rows of hanging shirts, then at Ron. "So I wasn't just hallucinating at lunch. Boy, what is going on in that head of yours?"
"What are you talking about? I'm just out for a nice afternoon of shopping with my GF!"
"Your GF? Bonnie? You and Kim having some kind of problem, Ron?"
Ron's jaw dropped. Monique's powers of perception were a little unsettling.
"Whaaat? No, not at all, why, what did Kim say?"
"I don't think you wanna know what Kim said." Monique leaned forward after studying Ron's expression for a moment, speaking barely above a whisper as she glanced furtively at Bonnie. "Ron, is that girl holding you hostage or something? Blink twice if you can't tell me with Bonnie around."
Monique was almost cut off by a screech amongst the clothing racks. "Ron! I told you not to bring your rat thing along! It's bothering me!"
As Ron dashed in between the racks to get to Bonnie, he saw her holding two pairs of what looked like silk button-down shirts in each hand. Rufus was perched on her shoulder, pointing at one shirt and nodding his head.
"What... this one?" Bonnie held up the shirt in confusion. "You're saying this is better? What about this one?" She held up the other shirt, but Rufus shook his head emphatically.
"What about pants?" Rufus pointed at a pair of dark gray slacks, which Bonnie picked up and held against the shirt they had chosen. Her eyes lit up in amazement.
"Ron, your rat is a fashion genius! Why didn't you tell me!"
"Yeah, the dude's pretty styling for someone who doesn't even wear hair! By the way, it's a mole rat, Bonnie."
She ignored him and thrust the new outfit into his arms. "Go put these on, and come out and twirl for me." Ron slunk away to the changing room. Monique sat with her elbows propped on the counter, unable to comprehend the scene before her.
"What are you staring at?" snapped Bonnie.
Monique shook her head. "Girl, I really don't know."
XX
Beeeeeeeep!
Kim groaned at the sound of the alarm clock. She slapped it several times with an outstretched hand until it turned off, and rolled back over in her bed, pulling the covers over her head without even bothering to check the time. It was a school day, but she did not relish the idea of going to school and seeing Ron and Bonnie together again. It was just too strange to deal with. What was more, she and Ron seemed to be avoiding each other now instead of talking. She had expected Ron to explain what was going on, maybe tell her that he really did genuinely like Bonnie – as strange as that would be - and it was not just a ruse of some kind, but her normally gregarious friend had not said anything to her.
"Honey, it's time for school!" Her mother appeared at the entrance to the loft stairs and entered Kim's room, whipping the sheets from her bed. Sunlight poured over Kim's exposed body as Anne opened the window blinds.
"Uuugh, mom!" Kim uncurled from her fetal position.
"Something wrong, honey?"
"No... just not looking forward to school."
"Why not?"
Kim paused. "I don't really wanna talk about it right now."
"If you insist. Josh is already waiting downstairs though, having a conversation with your father. You're going to be late if you don't get dressed quickly!"
Kim's demeanor changed instantly as she rushed out of bed and flung her closet open, picking out an outfit with unnatural speed. Her mother had already gone back down the loft stairs, but Kim almost beat her to the kitchen after throwing on an outfit without much thought and racing down to meet Josh.
"Hey Josh! Hey Dad!" She grabbed Josh with one arm, her backpack with the other, and raced him out the door. He had already been talking to her father, but perhaps the damage was minimal. James and Anne Possible watched their daughter disappear out the door with a shrug and returned to their breakfast.
"Sorry about that, Josh."
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"He didn't threaten to launch you into the stratosphere with anything, did he?"
"No..."
Kim was surprised. "Oh. He didn't show you any pictures of me naked as a baby, did he?"
"Don't think so, Kim. It's not like it would be anything I haven't already seen, anyways."
The teen hero sighed in relief as she walked to school with her boyfriend. Perhaps disaster had been narrowly averted, this time. Kim was startled by the sound of her Kimmunicator ringing out from her pocket, which she removed to find Wade appear on the screen with a look of alarm.
"Kim!"
"Sitch me, Wade!"
"I've been tracking Ron's... uh..." Wade spoke more softly as he noticed Josh walking alongside Kim from his view out of the Kimmunicator screen. "... his tracking chip that we agreed doesn't exist? And he's at Bonnie's house right now!"
Kim responded with a furrowed brow. She did not want to know what Ron was doing at Bonnie's house in the morning, but her mood suddenly took a foul turn.
"What do you think, Bonnie's holding him hostage?"
Kim shook her head. "No... it's not that."
"What is it, then?"
"It's a long story Wade. Don't worry about it though, it's no big. I'll talk to you later." She cut off the connection and returned the Kimmunicator to her pocket. She could feel Josh looking at her in confusion, but he did not say anything, probably sensing that Kim and Ron's current relationship was a sore subject. Kim was not looking forward to school.
XX
Ringityringityring!
Bonnie groaned at the sound of her alarm clock. She leaned over to slap it, and was about to roll back over in her bed and pull up the covers when she noticed the time on the clock. She had set the alarm late! Bonnie jumped out of bed and began to pick out an outfit from her closet, taking her time and considering color coordination even though it was only adding to her tardiness. She would have liked to have a family member wake her up in time, but she knew she couldn't count on her family to do that. Her parents didn't care enough, and it was just as likely that her sisters had been the ones to deliberately change the time that the alarm went off.
Bonnie finished putting on her clothing and took another look at the closet, making sure it was still neat and well-organized, and then set off downstairs. She was already running fantasy scenarios through her mind of how to torment Kim with Ron's help when she was dragged out of her reverie by a familiar voice coming from downstairs. A leaden feeling took hold of her stomach as she realized who it was.
Bonnie entered the kitchen to find Ron Stoppable sitting at the table and being interrogated by her elder sisters. At least he was wearing one of the nice outfits Bonnie had bought him the other day at the mall, but this could still be a disaster.
"Hey there Bonnie!" her sisters said in unison.
Ron waved at Bonnie with a smile.
"We've just been talking to your new boyfriend here," said Connie. "He came in this morning, wanting to walk to school with you. Isn't that sweet!" Bonnie's sisters laughed condescendingly. "And did you know he has a naked mole rat for a pet?"
Bonnie grabbed her faux-boyfriend and left the house without responding to her sisters. She knew they had probably been acting friendly towards Ron simply in order to glean information from him. Information about Bonnie, about Ron himself, anything that they could use to feel superior or be more vindictive later. Ron may be a loser, sure, but Bonnie didn't think anyone deserved to deal with her sisters.
"Sorry about that, Ron," she said as they walked towards school.
"Hey, it's all good. They were friendly enough. At least they were pretending to be friendly... I can see why they bother you though."
"Why did you come to my house this morning?"
"Ah, I dunno, I guess I'm used to coming over to Kim's house every morning and walking to school with her, but she's been doing that with Josh lately."
Bonnie thought it was strange that Ron would walk to school with a girl like Kim every morning when he had no chance with her. The only guys who had ever given her that much attention were hoping to get somewhere with her, and even then, they rarely bothered to go out of their way to spend time with her. Bonnie looked over Ron, appraising his clothing. She had to give herself a hand; she knew how to pick out a good outfit, although she grudgingly admitted the mole rat may have played a small part.
"You're looking pretty good today, Ronnie. Maybe we can make steam come out of Kim's ears when she sees you!" Bonnie cackled as she imagined Kim's reaction. Being in a relationship with Ron was almost proving to be fun!
XX
The school librarian, Mrs. Hatchett, narrowed her eyes at the pair of teenagers sitting next at a table next to the window. They were being fairly quiet and it appeared as if they were working on math problems, but Mrs. Hatchett smelled trouble. She picked up on a lot of things as head librarian, heard a lot of gossip and whispers from students who thought the library was a private place. One thing she knew for sure was that Ron Stoppable and Bonnie Rockwaller should not be sitting at the same table. Then again, perhaps they were forced to work on the same project...
"Then you just subtract 5 from x. Just follow the order of operations."
Bonnie pointed to an open textbook while Ron scribbled furiously on a piece of notebook paper. People often underestimated Bonnie; she could be quite intelligent when she put her mind to it, and math was one of her better subjects. Of course, this didn't translate into good grades when Bonnie saw homework and class attendance as options she could occasionally pursue when she felt like it. However, she and Ron had an upcoming math test, and Ron had whined and wheedled until she agreed to study with him. Bonnie assumed his normal study partner was preoccupied with a certain Josh Mankey.
"Well, think of the devil," she remarked as Kim Possible walked up to their table with Josh Mankey in tow.
"What?"
"Nothing. How's it going, K?"
Kim was about to respond when she caught sight of Ron's clothing. The familiar red sweater and tan pants were gone, replaced by a silk shirt and slacks. Even his hair looked different; perhaps he was going back to Le Goop. Bonnie had gotten to him, for sure.
"I see you're admiring Ron's new style. You sure didn't take care of him when he was under your shoe." Bonnie looked over Kim's questionable attire. "Oh my God, Kim, did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning? I think Ron is dressed better than you are! Hahaha!"
Kim felt herself blush furiously; Bonnie was right. Kim's hastily assembled outfit was no match for Ron's new look. She had to admit he was more stylish than usual, even if perhaps it was over the top. "He looks like he's late for a magic show, Bonnie."
Kim had only been talking to them for a moment, but she was already exhausted by the conversation. Seeing Ron with Bonnie was upsetting to her; it was like he had betrayed her. She grabbed Josh, who had been watching the spat with a bemused look, and kissed him on the mouth. Ron looked deflated as they began to leave the library.
"Hey Kim, I hope you've been practicing how to lose gracefully, so you'll be ready for the cheer competition!"
Kim ignored the comment as she left with her boyfriend. Bonnie leaned over conspiratorially to her own supposed boyfriend and spoke in a whisper, having noticed that her spat with Kim had attracted Mrs. Hatchett's attention. "Hey Ronnie... I have a little request for you." She scooted over closer, trailed her fingers over Ron's hand suggestively.
"What is it, Bonnie?"
"Do you by any chance know anything about Kim's cheer routine for the contest?"
"Sure do!" Ron said, missing the obvious intention of Bonnie's question. "She always shares that kind of thing with me. She's already got it all planned out, actually."
"Do you think there's any chance you could get a hold of those plans?"
"Well, I haven't really been talking to her much lately. I mean, you just saw how she acted around me." He watched Bonnie apprehensively. The whole situation was starting to feel wrong to him.
"Yeah, but all you need to do is stop by her house, right? You can just tell her you're sorry and hang out with her a bit. If I know everything she's going to do for the contest and I can use that to beat her, she'll be crushed! That'll show her for dating Josh and ignoring you, right Ronnie?"
Ron thought for a moment, but he knew his answer already. He shook his head. "Bonnie, that's just too wrong. I'd feel like a total chump if I did that to her." He noticed the scheming glint in Bonnie's eyes fade into disappointment. "I gotta say, I'm feeling pretty weird about this whole deal we've got going on. Maybe we should break this off."
Bonnie was taken aback. She knew that trying to convince Ron to steal Kim's cheer plans was a bit of a gamble, but she had not expected it to scare him to the point that he was about to back out of their arrangement entirely. "Ron, you can't break it off now. I'm not done with you, and I'm not done playing with Kim yet. If you stop seeing me now and break up with her, I can make your social life miserable. I have my ways, loser."
Ron felt a flash of annoyance. He did not often get angry, but Bonnie had crossed the line. "Are you threatening me? I got news for you Bonnie, I'm already at the bottom of your precious food chain. What are you gonna do to me to make it any worse? I've had enough." He closed his math textbook and put his notebooks and paper into his backpack as he got up to leave.
Bonnie gaped at his reaction. None of this was going the way she had planned! She had threatened previous boyfriends with social ostracism before, and it had worked perfectly. Nobody could keep others in line like Bonnie Rockwaller. She began to feel a sense of panic as Ron walked away from the table. What was she panicking for? The loss of the new power she had over Kim? Somehow it seemed like it was something else. She thought about going back to the way things had been with Ron before - strangers but for the occasional taunt or put-down - and she had to admit that the thought bothered her. Perhaps it was just that she liked Ron's company as a distraction from her family. That must be it, she thought.
"Ron, wait," she hissed before Ron could leave the room. "Wait, come back!"
"Ssssh!" Mrs. Hatchett held a wizened finger to her mouth.
Ron looked back at Bonnie, hesitating for a moment, but returned to the table as she beckoned him with manicured fingernails. "What is it, Bonnie?"
Bonnie wasn't sure what to say, but she said it anyway. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? We don't have to do anything nasty to Kim if you don't want to."
"This is still weird, Bonnie. It's not like you want to go out with me anyway."
"Well... look, it's not like I'm really interested in you or anything Ron, but I don't mind hanging out with you. And it's more fun to be around you than my family, if you hadn't guessed that already. So just sit down and let's keep studying for this math test."
Ron was about to try to break away again when he noticed Bonnie's expression. Oh, no. She was pulling out the big guns. It was the puppy dog pout.
"Alright, fine Bonnie." He put the backpack down and got out the math textbook and notebook paper again. Ron wasn't entirely sure what had just happened, but it seemed like Bonnie had asked him not to break off their relationship. Interpreting that was harder than trying to make sense of problem 37 in his textbook. What did it mean? Did it mean they were in an actual relationship?
Mrs. Hatchett watched, flabbergasted, as the two mismatched teens began studying again. She had overheard enough of the conversation between them and Kim Possible - and then between the Bonnie and Ron when he had almost left - to be completely confused. Bonnie Rockwaller had just told Ron she didn't mind hanging out with him. What did it mean? Did it mean they were in an actual relationship?
