Chapter 3

Maes Hughes leaned back in his chair, his feet layed lazily on his office desk.

"… 4… 3… 2… and 1," he thought, and as he got to the number one, Ed creaked open the door, with Winry an Alphonse right behind. They peaked in to make sure no one else but Hughes was in the room, then suddenly fell forward onto their faces as Havoc, Fuery, Falman, and Breda burst into the room, pushing them. Al just happened to fall upon the blonde boy and girl.

Maes smiled languidly. "Hello, boys," he drawled, then added, "And girl," upon seeing Winry wriggle out from under Alphonse, get up, and dust herself. Edward flailed his arms and legs, yelling, "Dammit, Al, get the hell offa me!"

"Sorry, brother!" Al said apologetically, and heaved his armor off of his short brother. Just as Ed got up and opened his mouth to speak, Hughes cut in.

"Roy'll kill me if I tell," he stated bluntly, "So you guys'll have to find another way to find out."

"Is there another way?" Fuery asked nervously. He was sincerely hoping no, so his coworkers could stop this wild goose chase.

"Well," Maes pondered, "I'm sure Lieutenant Hawkeye knows, seeing she's known Roy since they were way back when. But she's completely loyal to him; she won't tell. Maybe Ms. Mustang knows… Roy's father is dead," he added, "Maybe you could trick 'ol Mustang to tell you somehow."

Winry frowned. Maes had gotten that devilish glint in his eye when he mentioned Riza. "And she looked really uncomfortable, almost angry, when this whole kiss thing about the Colonel was mentioned," Winry thought, "Is she jealous or something?"

Her train of thought was broken as Hughes waved his hand at them. "Shoo now," he tutted, "I need to get back to work. Unless…" his eyes brightened and a huge grin grew on his face, "You want to see pictures of Elysia, don't you!"

But before he could even whip out his pile of pictures waiting in the corner of his office, Mustang's subordinates, Winry, and the Elric brothers ran out of the room so fast they seemed to have disappeared. Maes smiled satisfactorily.

Outside of Maes' office, the group was conducting a heated whisper on ideas of how to figure out Roy's first kiss.

"Maybe he kept a diary or something when he was young, and recorded it," Fuery suggested hopefully.

Breda snorted. "Yeah, and while we're at it, I'll suggest Havoc dresses up as a pretty woman and get the Colonel to tell his first kiss." Havoc glared.

As fate would have it, Armstrong had just turned the corner to hear Breda's suggestion. His face lit up.

"Ah, nosing into the love affairs of your superiors, eh," he boomed, making the group jump three feet into the air. "In this area, I have great expertise!" he continued, striking a pose with sparklies floating around his face, "Leave this up to me! I shall certainly find a way to get the Colonel to tell his first kiss! The art of finding out secrets has been passed down the Armstrong line for generations! Ah, the innocence of young love!"

Sweat drops appeared on the group's heads'. This was not going to be good.

"I'm sure," Armstrong cried, eyes glinting, "That Second Lieutenant Breda's suggestion is a marvelous idea. Therefore, I shall dress up as a beautiful woman and woo the Colonel into giving up his closely guarded secret!" Armstrong tears off his clothes, revealing a dress (don't ask the authoress how that's possible).

As Armstrong tried to strike feminine poses, Havoc gaped. Armstrong looked stunningly similar to what Havoc had imagined Armstrong's sister to look like: a huge, muscular woman with a mustache in a dress.

Winry, Ed, and Fuery fainted. Falman, Breda, and Havoc were quite close to fainting, as Alphonse would've been if he could've fainted.

"The horror, the horror!" the men left standing cried out in fright.

"What's all that commotion out there?" wondered Maes from inside his office.

End of Ch 3

Reviews, reviews, are such a delight, the more you send, the more I write!

Angelicat: Don't you just love that little rhyme up there about rev-

Armstrong, crying and sparkling (everyone else: nooooooo!), still in a dress: Ah! What wonderful poetry! Why, I am quite a good poet myself. My poetry meets up to everyone's expectations, for poetry has been passed down the Armstrong line for generations!

CCC, with narrowed eyes: Hey, oh wondrous friend of mine, could you get that giant freak outta here?

Armstrong: No, I am not giant! Women are not giant, and since I am masquerading as a beautiful female to persuade Colonel Mustang to tell his first kiss, I am not giant!

CCC rolls eyes.

Armstrong: I must practice being feminine!

Armstrong starts prancing through flowers that suddenly appear. Havoc appears and thinks he's gone crazy; Armstrong looks exactly like his image of Armstrong's sister, prancing through flowers and causing earthquakes while at it. But Armstrong trips, and falls…

CCC looks up at the large shadow suddenly looming over her, and her eyes widen.

CCC: EEEEEEEEEEEE-

Smoosh! Armstrong falls on CCC, creating a Chibi-Chena-Chan pancake!

CCC: -EK!

Angelicat, eyes wide It was good knowing you, 'ol buddy…