The next morning Jack awoke to the sound of raindrops hitting the window outside their bedroom

The next morning Jack awoke to the sound of raindrops hitting the window outside their bedroom. He turned over slowly and looked at Sam, sleeping peacefully beside him. He liked to watch her without her knowing, so he propped his head on his fist and gazed at her. She was on her back with one arm above her head, the other resting on her stomach and a serene look on her face. Even with messy hair, she looked beautiful. 'You are one lucky man, Jack' he said to himself.

Countless times he had watched her when she slept next to him when they were off-world. He had wanted to reach out and gently run his finger across the smooth skin of her face or hold her hand, but regulations would not permit it.

Now, after all these years, they were finally free to love each other.

They had made love last night. Sam knew he wasn't good with words, so he tried to show her how much he loved her through his actions. From the very first time they had made love, they were in sync and now when they showed their affection, their love for each other grew even stronger. He swallowed the lump in his throat when he thought about how much he loved her.

He slowly leaned over and kissed Sam on the cheek. She turned toward him without waking and snuggled into his chest. A grin came to his face as he wrapped his arm around her and gently hugged her to him. He looked down at her face and a slight smile graced her lips. She moaned softly and continued sleeping. He held her for a few minutes, wishing they could stay in bed all day but he remembered there was something important he needed to do.

He eased out of bed so as not to wake Sam, slipped into the bathroom and closed the door. After taking a shower, he came back into the bedroom and quietly dressed. He softly shut the door to the bedroom and went into the kitchen to eat a bowl of cereal.

As he left the house and got into his truck, the rain stopped, the clouds suddenly parted and the sun shown brightly.

He drove along the street he knew so well. The trees were taller now in the neighborhood than when he had lived here. Other than that, everything looked about the same.

He drove up to Sara's house, climbed the steps and rang the doorbell. The door opened and Jack could see the look of surprise on her face.

"Jack."

"Hi, Sara."

They stared at each other for a few seconds.

Sara was at a loss for words. The last time they had seen each other had been several years ago during the chaos at the hospital, also the night she had met the future Mrs. O'Neill. Even though she had seen Jack on television, she had not realized how much he had changed. From the deeper lines in his face to his completely gray hair, he was still just as handsome to her now as he had been on their wedding day.

"Oh, uh . . . come in."

Jack entered and went into the living room as Sara followed and they sat down on the sofa.

"This is a surprise. What brings you here?"

"Sam told me she ran into you at the store."

"Yes, she did."

"I came by to see how you're doing."

Sara looked into his eyes. "I'm okay, Jack."

"I guess I should have let you know that Sam and I got married."

"You really don't owe me an explanation. We were divorced a long time ago so it's really none of my business."

Sara looked away.

Jack took a deep breath. "So, are you working?"

"I'm teaching high school English again."

"That's great."

Sara grinned. "Yeah, I always enjoy being around the kids."

There was a silent pause.

"Is your Dad still living here with you?"

Sara looked down at her hands. "Dad died six months ago."

Jack stared at her for a few seconds. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"He had a heart attack. I thought about trying to get in touch with you because Dad always liked you and I thought you might want to know, but since you're in Washington, I wasn't sure how to get in touch with you.

"I'm sorry you couldn't. I liked him too, he was a good man."

"So, I've seen you on TV. Must be exciting to be so important" she said with a grin.

"It's just a job. It's hard on Sam and me being apart so much, so I don't know how much longer I'll keep it."

"Sam seems like a nice person."

Jack grinned. "Yes, she is." He started to say how sweet, intelligent and kind she is but he stopped himself, not sure that Sara would want to hear how great he thought Sam was.

Sara looked into Jack's eyes. "I'm glad you have her. I want you to be happy."

Jack smiled. "Thanks. I want you to be happy too. Are you seeing anybody?"

Sara shrugged. "Occasionally, but no one seriously."

Jack nodded his head as Sara looked down at her hands.

There was a long pause.

"Jack, do you . . ." Sara started to say.

"What?" he gently asked.

Sara looked into his eyes. "Do you visit Charlie's grave?"

Jack glanced down at the floor then looked back at her. "On his birthday when I've been in town, but last year I was in Washington and couldn't come home. I thought about him all day though."

He paused for a moment.

"It's hard. Visiting his grave always reminds me of the day he died and for a few days after, I have to get my bearings all over again."

"I know what you mean" she said softly. "I visit on his birthday too and on the anniversary of his death. I don't think I'll ever adjust to losing him, Jack. Maybe if he hadn't been our only child . . ."

Sara suddenly stood, went over to the window and wrapped her arms around herself. Jack quickly came to her and put his hands on Sara's shoulders. She turned around and looked into his eyes as he drew her into a hug. Sara began to cry and Jack tightened his arms around her, trying not to cry himself.

In a few minutes Sara let go and stepped back from him.

"I'm sorry" she whispered.

Jack put his hand on Sara's arm. "It's okay. It's okay to cry."

She wiped the tears from her cheeks. "You'd think that after all these years I wouldn't get so upset. I guess seeing you again just . . ."

"I don't think either one of us will ever really adjust to losing Charlie, Sara. It's the hardest thing both of us have ever had to live through and seeing each other again brings back all the memories."

He paused for a moment. "Will you be okay?"

Sara nodded her head. "Yes. I just have these moments when his death still overwhelms me and with you here . . ."

"I understand."

Sara motioned with her hand for them to sit back down and Jack knew the subject of Charlie was closed.

Sara wiped her eyes and cleared her throat. "So, you knew Sam a long time before you married."

"We worked together for several years. When I got promoted and moved to Washington, she was out of my chain of command for a little while so that's when we married."

"What's her rank?"

"Lieutenant Colonel."

"Career officer like you then."

"Yes."

There was an awkward silence between them, so he thought now would be a good time to leave.

"Well, I'll go. I just wanted to drop by for a few minutes and see how you're doing."

They walked to the door.

"It was good of you to come by, Jack."

"If you marry again, I'd like to know. Sam and I will come to the wedding, that is if you'd like to have us there."

Sara smiled. "I would. Thanks, Jack."

He took his wallet from his back pocket and got out one of his business cards. "If you ever need anything, just call me. This has my office number in Washington. Do you have a pen?"

Sara went into the kitchen, came back with a pen and watched as Jack wrote a number on the back of the card. "That's the number at our house. Because I'm in so many meetings, I don't always have my cell phone with me, so if you can't reach me in Washington, try our home number. Sam won't mind." He handed her the card and she looked at it.

"Thanks" she whispered then looked into his eyes. "Sam knew you were coming here to see me?"

"Yes, and she doesn't have a problem with it."

"She must be very special."

"Yes, she's sweet and understanding."

Sara grinned. "She's also very pretty, Jack. Seems you have a thing for tall blondes."

Jack chuckled and looked at the floor. "Yeah, I guess I do."

They smiled at each other.

"I better go."

He quickly hugged her. Sara closed her eyes for a moment and choked back the tears that were threatening to come again. He pulled away and could see that she was about to cry.

"Bye, Sara."

"Bye, Jack."

They stepped outside on the porch and Jack started to go down the steps, but stopped and turned around to face her.

"I'll always care what happens to you, Sara."

Sara smiled. "Me too, Jack."

He reached out, quickly squeezed her hand and let go.

She watched him go down the steps and open the door of his truck. He looked back and they waved to each other. She watched him drive away.

Sara went back inside and put the business card on the coffee table. She sat down and began to cry as she remembered the day that she and Jack were sitting outside, looking at Charlie's school picture, when they heard the gunshot that changed their lives forever.

After the funeral at the cemetery, she stood with Jack on her right and her father on her left. Her father kept his arm tightly around her waist, knowing that she was devastated as the tears ran down her cheeks. Although Jack had stood so stoic and had not shed a tear, she knew he was hurting as much as she was.

In the days that followed, Jack withdrew from her and everyone around him. She had tried to get him to open up to her, to tell her what he was feeling but he kept his feelings locked deep inside. Conversation between them became almost non-existent. Not sharing his grief with her had caused their marriage to quickly fall apart. She knew he felt guilty but she had never put all the blame on him. Jack had often warned Charlie to never touch his gun and he was old enough to know better, but curiosity had gotten the best of him.

She lay her head back on the sofa and stared at the ceiling as she remembered the day that Jack brought her the signed divorce papers. Tears came to his eyes as he took her in his arms and crushed her to him for several moments. He whispered "I'm sorry" into her ear, let her go and quickly left. As Jack walked away, she felt the same emptiness that she had felt when the doctor had told them their son was dead.

She walked to the window and looked out into the front yard where Jack's truck had been, then wiped her eyes while thinking there was no other man like Jack O'Neill.

When they first met, she had quickly given him her heart and had fallen so deeply in love with him. She had often wondered what it would be like if he came back into her life. Could they have picked up the pieces and started over? Now she had her answer. Although part of her would always love him, she could tell he was content and happy and she would never begrudge him of that. She could see that Sam was good for him and she wished them well with their new life. In her heart, she knew she could finally let him go.

--

Jack left Sara's house, drove down the street, pulled over to the side of the road and stopped. He stared out the window, breathed deeply and fought back the tears that moistened his eyes.

It was good to see Sara again and know that she was okay, but he realized that neither one of them would ever adjust to losing Charlie; the hurt was still there and always would be. Sometimes it felt that he had died only yesterday. He could still see his smile and hear his laugh. When he would return home after being away for weeks, Charlie would get this look of glee on his face as he would come running towards him and throw his arms around his neck, so happy to have him home. Charlie had such enthusiasm for life. Charlie would be a grown man now and he had often wondered what he would have been like as an adult. He and Sara would never get to see Charlie graduate from college, choose a career, marry and have a family of his own. He and Sara would never know the joy of spoiling their grandchildren.

He thought back to when he and Sara were married. Sara had been upset with him so often when he kept so many secrets from her and was away so much. He couldn't tell her where he was or when he would return; couldn't tell her most of the things he had done in his career. That was one big thing that he and Sam had in common that he hadn't had with Sara, they could discuss their jobs. Sam understood when he had to stay in Washington at the last minute when he had planned to come home. He understood when she was delayed off-world and they had to go for weeks without seeing each other. They both understood that being separated was just part of the job.

He wiped his eyes, took a deep breath and proceeded on home.

He arrived back at the house and found Sam in her bathrobe, sitting in the swing on the deck, enjoying a cup of coffee. He sat down beside her and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"How did it go?"

"Okay. I think she was surprised to see me. I told her I was sorry for not contacting her sooner to tell her we're married but she seemed to be okay with it. I gave her my business card and also gave her our home phone number and told her to call if she needs anything. If she ever gets married again, I told her we'll go to the wedding, if that's okay with you."

Sam smiled. "Yes, it is."

"We talked about Charlie and she started to cry and I gave her a hug. I hope you don't mind."

"I don't mind, Jack."

Jack stared out across their backyard. "I hope she'll be okay."

"I hope so too. You'll always be in her heart, Jack. You were a huge part of her life."

Jack sighed. "I really do want her to be happy."

Sam set down the coffee mug and took his hands in hers. "I know you do, honey."

Tears came to his eyes. "I wrecked my marriage when Charlie died. She tried to get me to open up and share my grief and I just couldn't do it. I didn't know what to say to her. I wanted to make things better but I didn't know how. I couldn't bring Charlie back. I guess I thought she was better off without me and I was doing her a favor when we divorced . . . I just . . ."

Jack quickly wiped his eyes as Sam hugged him for a moment, then leaned back and took his hands in hers again.

"It wasn't something you could control. You warned Charlie to stay away from the gun, you did everything you could. I know you felt guilty for a very long time and a small part of you always will. But at least now you know that Sara is doing better and you're doing much better too. I don't see the torment that you were going through when I first met you. Things have worked themselves out. You have Daniel, Teal'c, Cassie, General Hammond and so many people here in the Springs who care about you. Best of all, you have a wife who loves you. You have a great life. You've come so far and I'm just so very happy that it's me that now gets to share your life. You are the best thing to ever happen to me, Jack, and I'll keep reminding you of that for as long as I live."

Jack grinned, put his arms around Sam and buried his face in her neck.

"Oh Sam, I love you" he said in a muffled voice against her neck.

Sam smiled as she hugged him back and they stayed embraced for a long moment.

Sam leaned back, put her hands to his cheeks and looked into his eyes. "You're doing great, Jack, and Sara will be just fine."

Jack smiled and hugged her to him again.

The End