While finally having a destination was a pleasant, it did not however change the fact that this man had not stopped walking for at least a few hours if not days or years. Maybe I was exaggerating, but I'm going through a bit of a terrible time, if it can be called that. But I think I am allowed to believe my presumption of going to another dimension, watching your little sister get eaten by human-cannibal-creature things, half starving to death, and being continuously pestered by an imaginary friend of my own creation counts as having a pretty shitty time.
I began humming the Hogwarts school song, but the man did not seem to appreciate it so I decided to find something else to do. Then I remembered we were walking through a forest, had a language issue going on, and I was too hungry to remember all the lyrics. It was funny if you think about it since I was humming to distract myself from how hungry I was, and now was just thinking about how hungry I was anyway.
My stomach growled.
I rest my case… or at least I will if I get some food so I can have the strength to rest it. And why did I need to rest it in the first place? And where did the case come from anyways? I mean for god's sake I was think-talking to myself!
"Oh dear lord Savannah just shut up."
"Damn it, not you again!" I cried completely oblivious to the fact that the man had stopped in his tracks and was now staring intently if not worriedly after me as I continued to walk
"My feelings exactly." Replied the imaginary idiot (there was no way I would ever call him my friend again, imaginary or not)
"Brennil nín (My lady)?" asked the man quietly
Suddenly the imaginary idiot disappeared, and I stood frozen as a sudden thought struck me.
I slowly turned around and focused on the now thoroughly worried and confused person behind me. I stared at him for a few moments before finally speaking shakily "You… you're an elf…"
He looked at me uncomprehendingly
"An ellon…"
"Naun (I am)." Replied the edhel in now apparent confusion
All I could manage to do was stand gaping at the elf. I was really truly in Arda. God I had dreamed about coming here for over a year now and it had finally happened. I loved Arda, but I also loved Katie… the sick part of this was I had no idea whether I would have come or stayed in Earth if given the choice and the knowledge that Katie would die. But she's gone… she's dead… and I had no options…
My legs gave way beneath me and my eyes began to tear up slightly.
"Men Theli post si brennil nín (We will rest now my lady). Said the elf abruptly
I started at the sound of his voice, and glanced up to see he had already set down his pack and begun searching through it. A few moments later he walked over and handed me a funny looking piece of brown jerky-like stuff (I was never partial to it on earth so I can't really compare it well, but still)
"Le Hannon…" I murmured with some difficulty (I had had next to no water for days) before practically devouring the meat whole. Thankfully if the elf was disgusted by this he did not show it. He did however seem bothered by my voice considering how quickly he drew out what I assumed to be his water skin and handed that also to me.
I gulped down probably an unfair (to him at least) amount of water after only a brief nod of thanks in his general direction. I hope he understood the fact I did not feel like pleasantries after half dying in the wild. Apparently he did since I drank near half of the container before finally handing it back, and got no comment from him.
I was seriously hoping we were near Imladris now, that water skin was not going to hold us out forever and even an edhel needed water eventually.
On the brighterish side, all this exercise and survival stuff was helping me forget…
Oh well at least it was helping me forget.
Almost instantly my insides began to ache, and my heart felt as if it was being pressed on all side. I tried to regulate my breath praying to god that I wouldn't have a full blown panic attack, but it apparently did not work since I was soon crouched over on all fours murmuring incoherently to myself, and barely even able to register the elf sitting worriedly beside me.
And then even more suddenly, it was all gone.
oOo
I was back inside the cave staring wide-eyed in motionless fear. The creatures had once again parted and I was given a full few of Katie, or… or at least what was left of her.
I wanted so badly to throw up or scream or just plainly die, but these were all out of the question. Christ I was such a coward… and deep down I knew I would never truly forgive myself
And then it all faded back to reality.
oOo
"Glamhoth (orcs)…" I murmured softly, and instantly noticed the edhel beside me stiffen
"Mana taw (What was that)?" he asked in a harsh (for an elf) voice
I looked up at him, and after taking a moment to focus back to reality and getting the basic gist of his question, replied in broken Sindarin "Katie… tithen iell (Katie… little girl). Orch dagnir Katie (orcs killer Katie)." I looked away before finishing softly "Katie nín tithen muinthel (Katie my little sister)…"
The edhel's face instantly softened at this, and held out a hand to help me up.
"Tol-si brennil nín, a rada nestad min Imladris (Come now my lady, and find healing in Imladris)." He replied softly, but much too quickly for me to understand more than the words healing and Imladris, so I assumed he was trying to be kind.
I pushed away the thoughts of Katie as we walked, and began to mentally build a wall around the memory. If I could not destroy it, then I could forget it and hide that part of my life away forever. If I did not… if I did not there would be no healing.
"Goodbye…" I whispered
And then it was gone.
