Fëanáro and Findaráto
No matter what others may say, what I love more, than anything is coming home.
My childhood home may not hold all of my happiest moments, but it is home. Most importantly it is where I can always find my father and listen as he lavishes his compliments on my latest creations and dotes on me when we don't see each other for a while.
I treasure the moments when he wraps his arms around me and holds me close, like he used to when I was a child. The Kisses on my brows, and cheeks, and for once, his eyes and ears are for me and me only.
I smile to myself at the memory as my feet glide along the soft grass, as golden light warms my back.
My eyes narrow has I feel the blood inside start to boil, and scowl at the grass below. Today would have been a great day, if not for my father, and fair haired Arafinwë were in a meeting.
I wasn't even invited, I was only informed that the king and the youngest prince was in a meeting the moment I arrived.
My visit was a surprise, as it is always. I do like to surprise my father, but for him to be busy the moment I arrived…
I huffed, curling my fingers into my hands in a tight fist. I was informed that Princess Eärwen was here, but when I inquired about her business the guard had looked sheepish. Saying something about finding her son, who apparently had ran off earlier today. I'm quite familiar with a mothers rage. I have learned when you lose track of the children don't tell the mother. I didn't want to trouble myself looking all over the palace for my friend, so I silently wished her luck and walked out to the gardens.
I slowed down my pace, and took a look at my surroundings. I often came to the gardens in my childhood whenever I was upset I would hide behind a shady bush. No one would ever find me. It was also a great place to go to rid myself of my younger "siblings."
Looking around I felt I was at the right spot and glancing at the familiar pale blue flowers I knew I arrived. Stepping closer to the bush, I heard a strange noise.
Something ahead was gasping, or wheezing I couldn't tell. Curious I crouched down and walked toward the noise. No one knows about this spot except for me.
As I squeezed through the bush it opened out to small grassy hill, the thick bushes stood tall as it blocked any who walked past them.
Getting past the bushes I was shocked at what was before me. A child hunched over, and shoulders heaving, and the noises I heard before became louder, as the child sniffled.
I knew he wasn't one of mine, even my children do not know about this place… I think.
This child's hair was golden and long just like his fathers, this was without a doubt Findaráto.
It was strange to see him cry, I've always seen him bounce around my father with a big grin on his face, talking animatedly about whatever it was children talk about these days.
As much as I wanted to pull away and find someone else, his cries opened the parental side that I only show my children, and with a heavy sigh I approached.
I slid next to him, and when I settled down I reached my arm over and placed my hand on his shoulder.
At my touch he grew stiff and let out a surprised squeak. I scooted closer to him and I felt his shoulders relax has he rubbed his face with his arms, and turned to me.
When I met his eyes, I could see the shock in them, and maybe more tears. I was smiling at him, my fatherly smile. I wonder why he looked so frightened. Did I have something left in my teeth from lunch?
I hid my teeth, but continued to smile. The shock on his face lowered and I saw his eyes roam over me as he questioned my presence.
"Why do you weep, little one? I moved my hand gently up to the side of his cheek and then let my finger linger under his chin, tilting his head up a little, and then releasing.
He looked away from and stared at his feet over his knees.
"Nothing," he mumbled.
"Nothing?" I repeated. "If it was nothing then there is no reason to cry. Something upset you.
He looked back at me with his beautiful wide innocent eyes. Apprehension was written all over his face.
He looked away and gave a shuddering sigh. "You'll think its silly." His hand hovered over a blade of grass and curled it around his finger.
I leaned a little closer to him, "no I won't, I promise."
I spoke gently, and when he looked back at me again I hoped he knew I was being genuine.
His eyes closed as he took in a deep breath, and proceeded to tell me what happened.
The story is that my father invited his council to hear him play on his harp. Findaráto told me that he was a nervous but felt confident seeing his father and grandfather there. Somewhere in the piece, he played the wrong note, and every note afterwards was the wrong note. He fumbled over the piece and in his panic could not stop himself until the song was over. In between telling me his story tears were gathering in his eyes again. He continued his story telling me he didn't forget his manners, bowed and ran out of the room before anyone could say or do anything. By the end of the story Findaráto was sobbing in his arms, the tips of his ears were red.
My heart went out to him. Kano, was in the same situation once, but he was a little younger and in front of a larger crowed.
I wrapped my arm around his shoulders and rubbed them.
"Your grandfather would not want you to stop playing. I'm sure he loved your performance."
Apparently I had said the wrong thing, because he cried even harder.
No matter how he performed, I am sure my father loved it, just has his father did.
"It takes a lot of courage to do, what you did, you were very brave to play in front of the kings council."
He sniffed before answering, "You think so," was his watery reply.
"I know so, and he wouldn't want you to give up because of your recent performance. Sometimes in life, we fall, but the most important thing to do, is to pick ourselves back up." The tears had stopped at I could see hope filling his eyes.
He glanced sideways and I could see his face blush, "I was trying to be like Makalaurë or Findekáno . They are the best at the harp, and sing so beautifully."
"You will never be like Makalaurë, or Findekáno ," His head turned to me, shock and hurt evident on his face, I could see the tears gather in his eyes.
I smiled warmly at him "Try playing like you, and you will be even better than your cousins."
Thankfully the tears were held back and confusion was replaced on his face. He was quiet, so I left him to his thoughts.
Of course this little one would be inspired by his two musical cousins. I remember my Kano was teaching Findaráto a few songs on the harp to help him get started. Findekáno I'm sure gave him some tips as well. They were both talented, I could be biased and say that my son is by far the most talented in the family. I have listened to Findekáno play and he is an amazing musician in his own way, just like my son. They each have something special that defines them and their music.
. "When you find what you do best, stick with that, and that will become your trademark. As you continue to get better you will become well known, and your talent will stick out from your cousins because of it. Doesn't that sounded better than following in your cousins footsteps."
This time he understood as he gave me a toothy grin.
"You really think so uncle?"
"I know so, nephew." I bobbed my finger on his noise as we chuckled.
It wasn't long after when we heard a voice shouting Findarátos name.
"It sounds like atto," he said as he looked behind us. Even though we were protected Arafinwë wasn't far off and would be passing by soon.
"Shall we?" I tilted my head at the exit, and he slowly got on his hands and knees to crawl to the other side as I followed behind.
"Findaráto," a new voice called out that I recognized as my own father once he was out on the other side.
"What were you doing—" Arafinwë stopped midsentence as I finally emerged from the clearing dusting any dirt or grass that might have been on me.
"Curufinwë?"
"Hello father," I dipped my head, and swept it to the right side. "Arafinwë,"
"Fëanáro," Arafinwë's voice was just as astonished has my fathers.
After we greeted each other Arafinwë turned his attention to his kneeling down to his level.
"Why did you run off?" Findaráto bowed his head and was silent for a moment. When he looked up he looked at his grandfather instead.
"I'm sorry I ran off, I didn't think I played that well for you and the other lords."
My father held out his hand, and Findaráto gently placed his hand in his. "I enjoyed listening to you, and I do hope you will play for me again."
"You really mean that?" Findaráto's face beamed and my father gave him a reassuring nod.
"The members of my council would like to hear you play as well. I think you are being too hard on yourself. Your performance was not as bad as what you are thinking." Arafinwë nodded eagerly at his words.
"You are very talented, and still have much to learn." My father cupped his cheek and kissed his forehead.
"Thank you, grandfather."
"Come along, little one. Your mother is looking for you and will be very relieved when she sees you." Arafinwë held out his hand and Findaráto reached his out as well, but then stopped.
He looked in my direction and without a thought threw himself at me, wrapping his arms tightly around me. Arafinwë appeared to be frozen, his mouth slightly open. My fathers reaction was similar to his, but he stared wide eyed at the scene. Ignoring their curious stares I looked down at the little elfling with his bright face. Without releasing his hold he looked up at me with his bright beautiful eyes, and wide grin. "Thank you, uncle, for everything." I knelt down to his level and returned his hug squeezing him to me.
I pulled back and gave him a gentle smile, "what are uncles for?" He giggled at my comment and told me goodbye. I stood up and saw Arafinwë expression soften and his eyes gleamed. I wasn't sure if it was from the light, or unshed tears. He placed his hand over his heart and slightly bowed his head. I could hear the message, thank you, he told me. He took his sons hand again as they started walking off.
I watched the pair go, feeling a strange warm feeling inside of me.
I turned to my father, I could still feel his gaze on me since Findaráto hugged me goodbye.
He had a strange look on his face. His eyes were appeared to be wet, as he approached me with a watery smile, enveloping me in an embrace. He didn't say anything. He didn't have to I could feel his joy, appreciation, and love radiating off from him. He held me tight, and spoke in my ear. "Welcome home my son," his voice sounded hoarse not with sorrow, but of light. I snuggled in to his embrace resting my head on his shoulder like I always do, and wrapped my arms around him. "Its good to be back," I whispered.
I never knew I could have so much enjoyment from my nephew. I was never interested with any of my brother's family. Spending most of my day with little Findaráto, changed my mind. Not only my mind, but I could see the change in Findaráto and Arafinwë. Perhaps I could try and be a little closer, and come home more often.
A/N: Thanks for reading!
I would like to say if you do enjoy this story, let me know what pair would like to see.
