"... Ok, someone wanna explain how this world is supposed to be different?" Hands on his hips, Mato stared at the crowd, watching them watching Ranma and Kuno beating the tar out of each other. "Seriously, if this is Tuesday, then it must be Tokyo." Shaking his head, he turned to walk away. "Oh. There it is."
There was a flash, and the world dissolved.
-
"I didn't know ok?! Stop chasing me already!" Tearing down the street at a breakneck pace, Ukyo pumped her arms for speed. There was no less than SEVEN barely dressed, very pissed off teenaged girls chasing after her now. All of them were screaming about how she'd stolen their man.
Clearly, this was the Springerverse.
This is so stupid, all I want to do is find- Oh dear lord. Skidding to a halt, Ukyo held out her hand in a stop gesture to the girls who were chasing her. "Wait wait wait... Who the heck is that?" She pointed.
"Who?"
"Where?"
"There. That girl right there. The one dressed like a western nun." Ukyo pointed several times, a sharp stabbing gesture. "Who the hell is that?"
"...That's Shampoo."
"Get outta town."
"That's really Shampoo."
"Really."
"Yeah."
"Why's she dressed like that?"
"Uh, that's the way she always dresses?"
"... Ok, now I've seen it all."
"Huh?"
"Oh just leave me alone, I'm having a bad enough week."
"What? No way sister, we're going to teach you a lesson for stealing our m-"
"I SAID-" Ukyo whipped her spatula off of her back, spun around, and slammed it into the gaggle of girls hard enough to send them flying across the street. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" Sighing, she hung her head, slinging her spatula on her back once more. "... That felt good." Walking over to Shampoo, Ukyo grabbed the girl's collar. "Hey."
"Um, yes?"
"Show off those looks girl." A quick yank, and the concealing outfit tore away, leaving Shampoo clad in her bright pink undergarments. "You'll fit in better."
There was a flash, and Shampoo was left standing in the street, alone.
Alone, and hardly dressed.
-
"Ok, now the dojo's on fire." Frowning, Mato stared for a moment. "Not that I haven't seen this kinda thing before." Turning, he sniffed the air, wincing as the acrid smell of smoke filled his nose. "Geh, smells like- Okonomiyaki." A hint of a smile curved his lips as he followed the faint trace through the air, letting his nose do the walking for him.
Along the way, he passed the broken remains of the Tendo house, a battered firetruck trying to put out the raging blaze, and a long swath of destruction cut through Nerima's heart. Ambling past the unconscious Shampoo and Mousse with a smirk, he stopped cold in his tracks.
A body was laying limp in the street, next to an overturned car.
"...Ukyo." In a heartbeat, he was kneeling at her side. "..." Staring blankly, he felt his heart shudder a little. Shaking his head, he swallowed an uncomfortable feeling, and touched a hand to her throat. "...Dead." Lifting his hand, he gently closed the poor girl's eyes. "Twenty minutes ago, I think." Leaning down, he stared at the pale face, his hand absently stroking her hair.
His nose twitched. "... Uh." He leaned down a little further, sniffing. That's weird. The tip of his nose brushed against her bandolier. There, that's what it is. The scent of someone who'd crossed a dimensional divide. But it's not actually coming from this Ukyo, so that means... Gathering the girl up in his arms, he stood and looked around. "Ah." A quick hop put him right beside the ambulance he'd spotted.
"Hey, are you ok?" A white suited Paramedic wiped a spatter of blood from his forehead, leaving behind a faint red smear.
"Yeah, I'm fine. The girl needs a little help I think, I found her in the street." He carefully set Ukyo down on one of the empty blankets arranged on the sidewalk. "What happened?" Dozens of people were laying on the sidewalk with various injuries.
"Aw, some of those martial kids snapped." Checking a little old lady to make sure she was stable, the Paramedic waved at another fellow in white to take over the care of the old lady. "They went nuts and trashed a straight line here from that Chinese restaurant with the cat on it."
"Ah, that makes a lot of sense." There was a flicker.
"Yeah, I- aw, geez. Sorry fella, but this girl's- eh? Where'd he go?"
Found it. Just a short ways up the road, and over a pair of streets, was the point where Ukyo, his Ukyo, had left this world.
There was a flash.
-
"EEK!" Ducking, Ukyo narrowly avoided having her head sliced off.
There was the sound of steel cleaving flesh, and a patter as something liquid rained down on the ground behind her.
"Ukyo? I thought you moved away to Am-"
"Ranma you jackass!" Standing up, Ukyo got right in his face, furious. "What's the idea, are you trying to decapitate me?!"
Ranma blinked, leaning away. "Um, no. Sorry?"
"You're damn right you're sorry, you- wait." Ukyo blinked, reaching around to pat the back of Ranma's head. "Why isn't your hair in a braid?"
"... Because I always have my hair like this, and braids are for girls."
Ukyo huffed, planting her hands on her hips. "Shut up, boys can wear braids too... Jackass."
"Yeah, right." Snorting, Ranma pulled a handful of ricepaper from his pocket.
"What's the paper for?"
"To clean the blood off my sword, duh." Wiping up the length of the blade, Ranma tossed the bloody handful of paper away, sheathing the katana at his hip. "Did you get hit in the head or something?"
"...Sword? Why would-" Something clicked in her head, and Ukyo turned around and looked down. "Urk." Gagging softly, she stared at the body that had been slashed open from shoulder to hip.
"Are you ok?" Ranma put a hand on Ukyo's shoulder, looking at her pale face.
NO! There's a freaking CORPSE at my feet, and you're the one that put it there! Swallowing, Ukyo nodded. "I'm- I'm fine. Just a little..." She trailed off, unsure of how to finish that sentence. "Tired. I'm just tired Ranma."
"Well, you can come back to the dojo with me." Gently turning Ukyo, Ranma started to lead her away.
"The Tendo dojo?"
"No, the Kamiya dojo. Are you sure you didn't get hit in the head?"
"No, but I'm starting to wish I had been..."
-
"Ok, why the hell am I in the middle of a cake?"
You can guess exactly what this is leading to.
"...Oh good, first Ukyo ruins my wedding, now Ryoga." Still smeared with icing, Nabiki glared at him. "If you-"
"Nabiki, shut it. You're a total bitch, and there isn't enough brick in the world to bust over your head to fix the problem." Hopping off of the cake, Mato grabbed a handful of napkins, and began wiping the frosting off of his pants. "...Why does this feel like the tail end of a running gag?"
Nabiki, understandably, was sputtering with rage.
"No, seriously. SHUT. IT." Considering his pants clean enough, he began walking out, tossing the frosting coated napkins in Nabiki's face as he passed her. "I don't know. I don't care. And I'm out of here." He shoved the double doors of the hall open, and strode out into the sunny summer day. Ok, now where to fi- Ah, bingo.
There was a flash, and then the street was empty.
-
"There you are." Kasumi smiled, setting a cup of tea down on the table.
"Um, thanks." Ukyo wrapped her fingers around the cup, staring into it's depths for a moment. "So, you all practice Kenjutsu?"
"Yes." Kasumi seated herself across from Ukyo, after pulling her bokken from her belt. "It's something of a tradition, dating back to the turn of the Meji era." Picking up her own cup of tea, she regarded Ukyo oddly. "But you should know this already, if you are who you say you are."
"I told you, I'm from another dimension." Huffing, Ukyo lifted her cup and slurped her tea loudly. I'm starting to get sick of this. How does Mato make it so easy to get people to believe him? I guess because he's so out of this world, that it's impossible to NOT believe him.
"Yes, of course." Trying to sound as non-judgmental as possible, Kasumi sipped at her tea.
Oh, I know how. "In one of the more recent dimensions I was in, Ranma was marrying Nabiki." Ukyo quickly ducked as Kasumi sprayed her tea across the table. "... I ended up appearing on top of the cake."
"... I... See..."
"Yeah."
-
"... You're dating Ranma."
Ryoga nodded.
"And you know she's really a boy."
Ryoga nodded again, blushing faintly.
"And you don't care."
Ryoga shook his head.
"...Super. Well, whatever, just don't land on your head."
"What? I don't underst-AAAAAAAaaaaa....."
Shading his eyes with a hand, Mato smirked as he watched Ryoga sail off into the distance, and vanish. "Damn, if this was an Olympic event, I'd have like fifty gold medals by now." Chuckling to himself, Mato turned and started walking. "The people toss, hilari- oh, there it is. That was fast."
There was a flash, and the world dissolved.
And faded back in. "Ok, now where am-"
"-come a man among men! Mastery of the cat fist will be my greatest lesson to you. This time for sure, no girl will stop me."
WHAP!
"Ha, ironicly right. You shoulda said 'nobody' idiot." Shading his eyes, Mato watched as Genma sailed off into the distance. "Hey, kid." Mato looked down at little Ranma, whom he'd snatched out of the air as he was falling.
"...Yeah?"
"That's called 'The Punt'. Anytime your pop starts sayin' stupid stuff, do that to him."
"... A lady with a big flat shovel said I should kick him in the crotch until he stops moving."
"... That's good too, do that instead." He set the boy down on his feet. "Where'd this lady go?"
"Over there." Little Ranma pointed with a tiny hand. "She just vanished though."
"Figures."
"Mister?"
"Yeah?"
"Why're you looking for the big lady?"
"... Love, I guess."
"Oh. That's important, right?"
"Well, I sure as hell didn't come back from the dead just to get a pepsi, now did I?" Snorting, Mato walked forward and vanished in a flash of light.
Little Ranma stared at the place where the strange man had been just a moment ago. "... A pepsi?"
-
"So, that's my story, I guess." Slouching over, Ukyo sprawled her upper body over the table and let out a long sigh. "It's kind of tiring, realizing just how far this search has taken me..." No results either, what a pain.
Kasumi regarded Ukyo calmly, struggling to absorb everything the girl had told her. "That's... Quite a tale. You've surely done your fair share of good deeds."
"...I guess... Not that it's really done me any good."
"Perhaps not, but it's done many other people much good. Have you ever thought of that?"
"...No. I-" Blinking, Ukyo suddenly jerked upright. "Wait, you're saying that I'm not doing all this stuff for me, but for other people?"
"It certainly seems that way to me."
"..." Sighing, Ukyo hung her head. Great. Some wonderful thing this stupid wish has been for me. What's the point of a wish, if all it has is catches? I- oh crap. I think I just realized why Mato was cranky all the time. A sudden feeling of dread washed through her body, making her shiver.
"Ukyo? Are you alright? Is something wrong?"
"No..." I think I'm being used. Not one thing has worked out in my favor since I made that wish. Not one. On the other hand, it seems like I'm sure doing someone else a laundry list of favors. I don't think it's a good idea for me to keep doing this anymore.
There was a crash from somewhere on the far end of the house. Kasumi snatched up her bokken and took off at a run. "Stay here."
Frowning, Ukyo stood up and checked her bandolier. I've got a very bad feeling about all this. I really wish Mato was here, at least then I'd have some idea of how bad this is all going to get.
"SAOTOME! I've come for your head! Come out, or I'll start killing everyone in this house until you show yourself." The rasp of steel sang out for an instant. "Starting with this bitch right here!" There was a clang, and something wooden clattered to the ground.
Oh, this is such a bad idea. Snatching her battle spatula off of her back, Ukyo ran off after Kasumi, hoping she lived to regret this decision.
-
"Ok, I've gotta say." Mato raked his fingers through his bangs. "Easy on the eyes as this dimension is, it's starting to become a pain in the ass."
"Oh c'mon sugar, spend a little more time and you'll grow to love it." Ukyo grinned at him, rubbing up against Mato's side provocatively.
"...Yeah, no, I don't really think so." Frowning, Mato looked around, trying to figure out where Ukyo, his Ukyo, could have gone. "So, you're not gonna tell me where she went?"
"Nope, sorry. If what you say is true, then you'll vanish pretty quick once I tell you." Leaning in close, Ukyo pressed her body against his side. "And I like you right where you are now."
"Pass!" Lightly pushing Ukyo away, Mato wandered off, casting about for a scent like a bloodhound. This is starting to get irritating. I'm fairly sure I know what's happening now, but I'd like to be positive before I starting yelling and punching people. A few minutes of casting about led him to a cluster of angry looking girls.
"Hey, kick his ass!"
"... Yeah, now it's just getting stupidly obvious." Frowning, Mato lept over the pack of girls, following the scent trail. Getting sloppy now, if you're resorting to having random people attack me. Smirking, Mato darted forward. Pity you can't stop me.
There was a bright flash, and he was gone.
-
"Eek!" Parrying the katana with the handle of her spatula, Ukyo bounded away from the half dozen swordsmen. Oh this is bad. Plucking a handful of spatulas from her bandolier, she flung them out in a wide spray, nailing a few of the men in painful spots, and grazing a couple of the others.
Across the room, Kasumi was having a very rough time facing Ryu Kumon and his very long nodachi with just her wooden sword. Several inches of the tip had been cleft from it's length on their first few passes, and Kasumi was not looking very happy about her odds.
Why is everything getting so much worse all of a sudden? It can't just be a coincidence that this is all happening now. Why do I feel like I've made a deal with the Devil?
There was a crash, and a spray of glass flew into the air as a dozen more armed men charged into the room.
"Aw no, not more of you guys!" Now I know I'm in trouble. I thought God was supposed to be nice and caring to people? How is this nice and caring? I'm being attacked by people with swords, just because I don't want to keep doing this? I thought I was supposed to be granted a wish because I was such a nice and deserving person? "Argh, out of my way you jackasses!" Winding up, Ukyo smashed three goons out of her way with a bonecrushing swing that knocked them across the room.
There was another crash, much louder than before, and Pantyhose Taro stormed in through a hole he'd blown in one of the walls. If the massive axe over his shoulder was any indication, and it was, both girls were in for a world of hurt.
Oh God, I don't want to BE HERE anymore!
Then there was a flash, and only Kasumi was in for a very bad day.
-
The world blurred into existence in a flash of light.
"Die Hibiki!"
"Aw hell!" Ducking, a flash of silvery metal hissed over Mato's head, nearly taking his braid off in the process. "Oh come on! Not even two seconds in, and you've got people trying to kill me? Lame!" Another flash of steel, and Mato tumbled backwards to avoid it, springing away from the ground with a quick plant and push of his hand.
"You don't have time to yell for help, Hibi-"
"I wasn't yelling for help." Standing up, Mato folded his arms over his chest, frowning.
"Then who were you yelling at?"
"God."
"....What?" The figure engulfed in form-fitting black clothing cocked his head.
"Yeah, I'm yelling at God, because he's pulling some BS on me, and I don't like it."
"Well, you'll be seeing God soon enough." Darting forward, the man lashed out with his blade again, the finely honed edge driving right for Mato's throat.
Ting.
"Yeah right. If I did, I'd probably punch him in the nose and tell him to stop being an ass." Twisting the blade between thumb and forefinger, Mato arched an eyebrow as he noticed how much the blade was flexing under his grasp. "Also, don't cut my head off, it's rude."
"P-punch God? Are you insane?" The man yanked and hauled at the hilt, trying to free his sword.
"It wouldn't be the first time either." Flexing his wrist, the sword snapped in two at the middle, sending up a faint spray of metal shards. "Also, I'm not crazy. Just crazy good is all." Smirking, Mato twisted his wrist again, slapping the man across the face with the flat of the broken blade. "Ass."
-
The world rushed in and assaulted her senses violently.
"Ugh, that one felt weird." Holding a hand to her face, Ukyo staggered a little, trying to keep her footing. It was kind of uncomfortable that time. Maybe it's some sort of punishment? Well, nothing could be as bad as what I just got out of.
"Hey look. A human girl." A disturbing, lizard-like voice hissed out from somewhere around her.
"My, she looks tasty." Another voice, deeper, with a growly sort of quality to it came from another direction.
"Um..." Ukyo blinked, then outright gasped, stumbling back as the speakers stepped into the light. One was covered in green scales, and looked like a cross between a man and a reptile. The other was taller, much taller, and covered in thick brownish fur from head to toe.
"What do you think?"
"We should eat her."
Stumbling back a few steps, Ukyo brandished her battle spatula before her, trying to ward the strange creatures off. She knew what they were, from all that part time work she did at that shrine, but she really wanted to be wrong right then and there. "D-demons..."
Clearly, today was not a good day to be upsetting God.
-
Well, another chapter down, and things are starting to get a little more frantic. A bit of a long chapter again, but I doubt any of you are going to complain about it's lack of shortness.
Also, chilling hints, perhaps?
Review replies!
Jusenkyo- Nah, not dense. A lot of times, what one person thinks is obvious, is very muddy to another. It happens to me all the time, I'm frequently asking people to explain more clearly for me. It's just what happens when you have people who think very differently from one another, so, no worries. and yes, Genma gets junk shots, he deserves it. Glad you liked it.
Scourgeofthegalaxy- Ok, you got it. Glad you're enjoying yourself.
Teturo- Yay, I'm funny and stuff. As for Mato, it looks like explaining is character gets harder the more I write about him. I promise I'll have some big reveal chapter to explain everything in plain words at some point in the story.
Pryde Kitty- Yay, no desk chainage. Hopefully, this chapter's good enough too. And, as you know, Mato was not too thrilled to be in the middle of a bi-gendered Ukyo sandwich.
Well, I guess that's it for this chapter. Huh, kinda short on the post script this time. Oh well.
See you next time.
