My mind slowly drifted back into consciousness. It was cool under the covers, but relaxing and refreshing, kind of like stepping into a cold shower on a hot summers day. Well a hot summer's day in somewhere where you could actually see the sun; unlike Forks.
My body felt kind of stiff, like I hadn't moved much in my sleep, but I still felt relaxed and comforted. I could feel cool arms wrapped around me securely, holding me lightly to the chest of my own angel. The night before came rushing back to me, causing a deep blush to warm my cheeks, previously cold from lying on Edwards perfectly sculptured chest.
As embarrassed as I was at having to admit to him how afraid I was, I would take the trade any day. Surprisingly, I did not feel cold, considering I had slept next to Edward last night, with only two thin pieces of fabric separating us, unlike the thick blanket I usually was wrapped in. I could feel the blush deepen on my cheeks just thinking about Edward.
I heard I low chuckle vibrate from underneath my head. "Either your awake or you've learned to blush in you sleep" a velvet voice broke the silence of the morning. Not that I was complaining; Edward's voice was like music in my ears. I felt a cool pair of lips press firmly, but gently against my hair. My body shuddered in pleasure from the touch.
Edward, thinking it was shivering from the cold, started to lift me off him and place me next to him on my bed. As soon as my body left his, a sharp gush of air rushed between us uncomfortably. "No" I moaned my voice uneven from sleeping. I threw my arms around his neck, pulling myself back onto his chest.
Even though I had slept dreamlessly all night, I was still rather tired. Last night was the best sleep I had got since I had learnt that Victoria had come back to Forks looking for me. I buried my head deeper into Edward's chest, my arms still using all my strength to hold onto him.
A moment after I had flung myself at him, my mind caught up to my instincts. Feeling the blush makes its way to the surface again, I looked up at Edward sheepishly. Edward laughed, wrapping his arms back around me again. "I take it your not quite ready to get up yet?" he asked, his voice like music in my ears.
"Not just yet" I murmured back against his chest "That was the best sleep I have got in a long time". "Really?" Edward's shocked voice confused me; surly he had to know how safe and comforted he made me feel when he held me close. I was so relieved last night when I felt his arms under the cover, holding me close to him so I felt we were inseparable.
I nodded, turning my head to face him so I could figure out why he was shocked that I had a good sleep when I was close to him. As if he could actually read my mind, he said "You slept in the arms of a rock, Bella", his voice slightly upset, "A cold rock" Edward released one of his hands and stroked along the side of my face lightly, sending shivers down my spine.
"And you say you slept the best you have slept in a long time". Edward placed his arms back around me, kissing the top of my head. "That's not a coincidence" I pointed out, guessing that he was probably thinking my good sleep was a result of something else.
Edward looked at me confused, his head tilted slightly to the side. I thought of how to explain it to him. I always slept better when Edward was able to hold me close to him, lying in his arms. I felt safer, comforted to be close to him. It was like he was holding my heart to his.
"I sleep better when you hold me close" I started, analysing his every reaction. His eyes brightened ever so slightly in deepening confusion. "I don't really know why…" I continued truthfully "I just feel so much safer when I'm in your arms, without the thick blanket wrapped around me" Edward made sure to keep his facial expression blank, but I could see some deeper emotion brewing underneath the surface.
"I guess it feels more like I have more of a hold on you, as you have on me…" I trailed off as his face leaked some of the emotion it had been repressing before. I could see sadness in his eyes, the corners of his mouth turned down ever so slightly. "Bella" he began, his voice sounding convincing "I know I have already told you this, but your hold on me is completely unbreakable. Never, ever, doubt it". I looked up at his smouldering eyes; the pain in them was unbearable.
We lay in silence for a long time, staring into each others eyes, trying to figure out truly what the other was thinking. Edwards fingers gently traced along my cheek. I could feel sparks rising wherever his fingers trailed. The only sound was our breathing.
Though the silence was calm and peaceful, I needed to hear his voice again. I opened my mouth to speak but before I had even thought of what to say, Edward's voice sounded softly in my ear. "If you sleep better when I'm here…" he started, curiosity carefully covering his features. I looked up at him quizzically, trying to decipher what he was trying to imply." Yes. I do." I answered him confidently and truthfully.
He looked away from my confused eyes for a minute, trying to hide something from me. When he spoke again, pain started to seep through into his voice "Then how do you sleep when I am not here?" he turned his face back to mine, a carefully composed mask clouding his deep brooding features.
I could feel my heart speed up. Memories of the restless nights coming back to my head, the screaming, tossing and turning all over the bed. If I answered the question truthfully, I knew he would start to blame himself, and I couldn't bear the look of pain in his eyes.
"I…sleep…ok…I guess" I started, hoping my face wouldn't give me away "Just not as good as when you are here" I added on, the second part not a complete lie. Obviously, he didn't buy it. "Bella, you're not a very good liar" His voice full or pain and regret "Please just tell me the truth". He released the full force of his eyes on me, and I could see the pain buried deeply within.
"Fine" I mumbled reluctantly. I tried to keep as close to the truth as possible without hurting him. "When your close and I can feel you arms around me, I know you are here and safe. But when your not here and I can't see you…well I can't help but get anxious". I looked up at him through my eyelashes; his face was patient, waiting for me to explain more. "I start to fall into old habits"
"Old habits?" he asked, his voice inquisitive. I really didn't want to have to explain to him about the abandonment nightmares and the hole in my chest that rips open when he is out of sight. "It brings back nightmares" I said quietly, looking down and burying my head in his chest.
"I can stay here forever" Edward stated after a long minute of silence "I don't need to leave for any reason, ever". I looked up at his face, guilt and regret obvious in his golden eyes. Although I forgave him for leaving instantly (not that I had ever blamed him), he wouldn't forgive himself for what happened to me once he was gone.
"Edward" I started; I hated to see him blame himself "I am honestly fine. I understand that you need to hunt and I know that I have to spend some nights alone". He didn't look convince as he pulled us up into a sitting position "I can't stand for you to be in pain. And I don't want you to have to be alone all night, having nightmares".
I put my hands on either side of his face as I explained "Edward, I don't want to see you in pain either, and that's what you will be in if you don't hunt with the rest of them" I tried to convince him. "Besides" I added on a lighter note, trying to make him relax a little "Being with out you for a night or two makes it that much better when you return"
Edward leaned forward; kissing my forehead "What did I do to deserve someone as wonderful as you?" he pulled me closer into his arms, resting my head under his chin. "I find myself thinking the same thing" I added, kissing his neck. Edward laughed above my head "You don't see yourself clearly".
I turned to face his head to tease a glare at him but his mouth twisted into that irresistible crooked smile he knew I loved, leaving me breathless. Interrupting the moment, my stomach growled softly, but I knew Edward would hear it. "Breakfast time for the human?" he said, not giving me a chance to reply before he scooped me up and carried me downstairs, ignoring my protests.
Edward placed me in my chair at the dining table and kissed my hair before wandering into the kitchen. I watched, slightly amused as Edward wandered around the kitchen, trying to find something for me to eat. I was about to jump up and go help when a bowl of cereal was placed in front of me. "Enjoy" Edward said, his voice teasing as he went to sit down in Charlie's seat at the table.
That reminded me, "Charlie?" "He left over two hours ago, Bella" Edward started "You slept for a long time, he was going to check on you but didn't want to risk waking you up. I'm glad he didn't though". I raised my eyebrows. "That would mean I would have had to let go of you" he explained, smiling, dazzling me again.
"Eat" he chuckled, pointing to the spoon on the table "Or do I need to feed you myself?" Edward teased and I felt the blush in my cheeks. I picked the spoon up quickly and started to eat. Edward just sat watching me, which was a distraction. I was careful not to look at his eyes, because if I did I was sure I would drop my spoon, covering the table with milk and cereal.
As soon as I was done Edward whisked me upstairs, setting me down on his lap on the edge of my bed. "So" he asked, stroking my cheek with the back of his hand "What would you like to do today?". "Anything" I replied, as long as i was with Edward, I would do anything.
