"No, I do not want any wolf pelts in my quarters." Mya said to the workers who brought up the offensive objects. It had been sixteen years since her world fell apart. Fifteen since clan Levellan generously took her in. Two years since the Conclave. Today, she was arguing with Inquisition servants over the carpeting in her quarters.
"Just because I am an elf, does not mean that I want dead animals on my floor."
In truth, it was because the pelts reminded her of her long dead foster family. She failed to protect her wolves, just as she failed to protect her parents and clan.
"Alright, Your Worship, I understand." Josephine replied with understanding.
"Would you like some woolen carpets instead?" Mya considered this for a minute.
"Okay, that I can do. Although I feel silly about fretting over something as trivial as carpets." Mya admitted. Josephine put her hand on Mya's shoulder.
"From what you've told me of your childhood, I completely understand why walking on wolf fur would be traumatizing, and I apologize", Josephine replied sincerely. Mya blinked.
"It's not your fault, Josie. No need to apologize." Josie bowed her head in gratitude.
"You're too kind, Inquisitor." Mya smirked.
"It's just like shemlen nobles to ignore the traditions of my people. Do the nobles who send me these think I would be scared? Do they think I follow the ignorant traditions of my fellow Dalish? In my childhood, I never feared Fen'Harel. The clan I was born in actually worshipped him instead of the other gods in the elvhen pantheon. It made me somewhat of a pariah, to the clan who ended up raising me." Mya explained. The look on Josephine's face expressed displeasure at the Inquisitor's slur, but the Antivan ambassador allowed it to pass.
In her time with clan Levellan, Mya discovered many differences between the clan she was born into, and the clan who she was raised with. First and foremost, the fear of the Dread Wolf was not present in her birth-clan. In fact, the clan's name paid homage to the wolf. When Keeper Deshanna asked the origins of her name, Fenel found it easier to say it was to keep the Dread Wolf off her scent than to say it was to honor him. Once she discovered the other clans' hatred of the Dread Wolf, she decided she wouldn't tell Dashanna of the wolves who she called family. Her decision ended up costing her the ones who saved her life, in the end.
"Inquisitor?" a familiar elf called out from down the stairs. "I apologize for disturbing such an important meeting, but I was wondering if I could have a moment of your time." he asked.
"Looks like the rug issue must be put on a hold." She acknowledged. Josephine tilted her head in a affirmation.
"On my way, Solas." Mya called out. She took one last look at the workers who brought up the wolf pelts.
"I hope I never see wolf pelts in my quarters again. I would so hate to have to get rid of such dedicated workers." She mused on her way down the stairs.
"What did you want to talk to me about?" Mya asked Solas on their way to his rotunda.
"Something you said about your clan to the ambassador is… intriguing." He admitted.
"You spied on the Conclave for clan Levellan, yet you were not born as such?" he inquired. She shook her head. They walked past Varric, who winked at the Inquisitor. Mya blushed and stuck her tongue out at the dwarf.
"No, I was in a Dalish clan who did not share the same beliefs about Fen'Harel as the Dalish here seem to." She spoke. Solas' eyes widened.
"Why? Don't the Dalish clans meet at the Arlathvhen to share their stories?" She nodded.
"Yes. My birth clan, from what I remember, was always treated with a certain… distance." she explained.
"All the other clans knew what we thought of the Dread Wolf, but the elders seemed more concerned with keeping all the Dalish somewhat united, than whether or not we believed the Trickster Wolf was the reason for our fall." Solas nodded his understanding.
"I see. How did you come to go to Levellan?" he asked.
"I… don't usually like talking about it." She began.
"You do not have to share your origins if you do not wish to." Solas offered.
"No, I've talked about it a little with my advisors, but think I need to get it all out to really move on. At least to someone I trust." She muttered, suddenly feeling self-conscious.
"When I was a girl, a group of human rouges attacked Clan Fenora." Solas' face twisted into shock.
"Nation of the wolf? Why would the Dalish name themselves after a being long thought to be the reason for Arlathan's destruction?" he asked.
"I told you our clan had heretical thoughts about the Dread Wolf, did I not?" Mya answered patiently.
"We wandered along the edges of Antiva mostly, we visited the ruins of Arlathan, digging up whatever we artifact we could find. I don't really recall much of what we found. Only that it depicted Fen'Harel in a completely different light than what the Dalish understand" She added regretfully.
"That's…" Solas was speechless. He could not understand how anyone could uncover any of the secrets of Arlathan, much less any of the Dalish.
"Your birth clan sounds much more progressive than any of the other clans I met. I can't imagine the amount of acclimating it must have taken you with clan Levellan." He whispered in awe. She gave a rueful smile.
"We seem to have a shared experience with the Dalish not believing what we have to say. However, you being well versed in the Fade and its mysteries, I find their lack of faith in you more disturbing than their lack of faith in me." Solas returned her smile.
"Had your clan lived, I believe they would have made a bigger difference in Dalish views. Although I have no evidence of this." He added. Mya blushed and muttered a quick ma serannas.
"Anyway, we were traveling and one day a group of human rogues came upon the location of our aravels. Naturally they didn't want any knife-ears traveling on what they viewed as 'their' land, much less a group of 'demon-worshiping knife-ears'. So they attacked, and slaughtered us. My mother tried to get to my father in time, but…" She trailed off.
"Da'len, you don't have to continue." Solas said gently.
"No, I haven't talked about this in a while. I need to." Mya firmly replied. "So my mother picked me up, put me on the nearest halla, and I never saw her alive again." Solas stared at her.
"How did you survive?" Mya hesitated and considered lying to him. What if thought she was crazy, as other did?
"You're not going to believe me." She warned.
"I believe I have seen my fair share of 'crazy shit' as Varric likes to put it." Solas reassured. The corners of Mya's mouth started twitching.
"I found a cave with a pack of feral wolves inside who took me in and helped me." She confessed. Solas raised an eyebrow.
"Is that it?" He asked. She shook her head.
"Not even remotely. The crazy part came later, and was as much a surprise to me, as it's about to be to you." Myafen took a step back from the apostate, and took a deep breath. Suddenly, there was a flash of sky blue light and a wolf as white as the snow on the surrounding peaks of skyhold, and as big as a hart replaced the Inquisitor.
To say that Solas was shocked was the understatement of the millennia. Since his awakening, he had not come across any that retained the ability to change their form. Another flash of blue light and Mya was back in her elven form.
"You know Solas, I've heard that if you keep your jaw wide open like that, it invites demons." She teased nervously.
"Have you always had this ability?" he asked after a few moments of silent contemplation. She nodded.
"It didn't manifest until…. After. Along with my magic." she stated. "I found out later that my entire clan had possessed this ability." Solas was thoughtful for a brief moment.
"The ancient elves called those with the ability to change their shape, dun'himelan. I have encountered few memories of those with the ability in the Fade, and thus I find this… fascinating." He admitted.
"However, I was under the impression that the Dalish only kept one or two mages so they would not draw the attention of Templars." Solas went on to say. Mya bit her lip in contemplation.
"While that is true in most clans, my clan was different. I suppose the adults thought that we could protect ourselves from the Chantry." she said ruefully.
"The fact that we did not fear Fen'Harel combined with the amount of mages in our clan did not make us popular among our people, but the elders could not ignore the fact that so few of us remember the old ways. Or what the Dalish could comprehend of the old ways." she amended at the look of contempt on Solas' face.
"Ir abelas, lethallan." Solas whispered, sorrow and regret coating his voice.
"Why are you sorry? You do realize that not every horrific event that happens in Thedas is your fault, right?" She jested. Solas' mouth twitched.
"You're very name is blasphemous. 'To follow the wolf'. How did you explain that to Levellan?" He asked, skillfully avoiding answering her question. Mya grimaced, his avoidance did not go unnoticed, and would be confronted later.
"My life after I was found was not… simple." She said cryptically.
"We can continue that particular conversation later, if you wish." Solas offered gently, sensing her discomfort. Mya's eyes shone with gratefulness. She could talk about the tragedy that took place in her childhood, but her time spent as First to Clan Levellan was still somewhat fresh in her mind.
"Ma serannas, harhen." She said. Solas' eyes glanced behind her and he smiled.
"Looks like we had an auidience." Mya whipped around to see Varric Tethras with his mouth hanging open.
"Wow." He said in awe. "You really can't write this shit." Mya guffawed and laughed.
"My life has been one big pile of crazy shit." She admitted.
"Indeed," the resident Tevinter mage added from above.
"So do we need to check and see if she has any diseases?" Dorian quipped. Mya glared at the flashy mage.
"I'll have you know that I've never had so much as a flea!" Mya shouted indignantly. All three of the men chuckled.
"I'll let you get back to your rugs." Solas said with an amused smile and turned to study the shard on his table. Mya smiled, nodded and moved to walk past Varric and back to her quarters.
