"Edward please-" Bella begged. It only made me laugh as I pressed my finger to her lips.
"Let's discuss this later. We're going to be late for class" I told he. I hoped that she'll just go along with it. It had been an amazing year and a half with Bella, and our love hasn't died, instead it has grown stronger.
"C'mon Bella. I took Edweirds look can you please notice me?" Mike Newton thoughts rang in my head, and I held back a growl. His thoughts of her were not necessary, however he accepted it better now.
I felt like I was holding Bella back, and during class I was thinking about ways to let her be human. Could I let her go? Could I let her be a human on her own? Or would I always be there putting her in near-death experiences and making her choose? I continued to think about it for the rest of the class.
At last the class ended, and we ate at our usual lunch table. I enjoyed our routine with everything it was perfect. I loved what we had, but I wanted to give her more. She wouldn't let me buy her things, and it frustrated me. I felt like I could give her nothing, and it made me embarrassed. I wanted to give her, her dreams. A new car was just an extra. I mentally sighed and stared down at my food, trying to get rid of the thoughts, and smells. I scrunched up my nose instinctively.
After school ended, I walked with Bella over to her car. Alice had seen Bella driving to Seattle and staying at an awful looking hotel. We had decided that Alice would take the Volvo and I would ride with Bella in her truck. I opened the passenger door, and she crossed her arms. Why did she have to be so stubborn?
"It's my birthday, don't I get to drive" she whined. She was so cute when she was mad. However, I could debate against that little comment.
"I'm pretending it's not your birthday, just as you wished" I said calmly. Waiting for my argumental reply.
"If it's not my birthday, then I don't have to go to your house tonight…" Bella said, her eyes boring into mine.
"All right." I reluctantly agreed closing the passenger door, and walking over to the driver seat, holding the door open once more. "Happy birthday"
"Shh" She whispered looking around, though a small smile was plastered on her lips. I laughed, and got into the passenger side. When I turned on the radio I cringed, and shook my head. Thank goodness Emmett was getting Bella a new radio.
"Your radio has terrible reception" I complained. She frowned and I held back a laugh. If only she knew. Of course I know she hates when I pick on her truck but I had to make her at least a bit suspicious. However the look on her face said otherwise.
"You want a nice stereo? Drive your own car." She said nervously turning her eyes back to the road. When we got to Bella's house. I traced her face memorizing everything. If I was going to leave I wanted to remember her.
"You should be in a good mood, today of all days," I whispered, trying and failing once more at trying to see into her mind.
"And if I don't want to be in a good mood?" She asked, her breath caught in her chest.
"Too bad" I said, pressing my cold lips against her warm ones. It seemed to have worked and I removed her worried.
I stayed there for quite a while before she began to get more into it. Everything told me more, but I would not let it. She was too fragile! And easily broken. I pulled away.
"Be good please" I whispered to her, as I kissed her once more, before pulling away.
"Do you think I'll ever get better at this" She asked looking down at her hands, "That my heart might someday stop trying to jump out of my chest whenever you touch me?"
"I hope not" I said with a smirk. She rolled her eyes.
"Let's go watch Capulets and Montagues hack each other up, all right?
"Your wish, my command" I responded.
I lay on the couch as Bella started the movie, and skipping the opening scenes. When she sat down, I pulled her closer to me, unable to contain myself. She was beautiful, and she didn't realize it. I grabbed a blanket and placed over her shoulders, letting my hand linger there for half a second before wrapping the rest of her body under it.
"You know, I've never had much patience with Romeo" I commented.
"What's wrong with Romeo" She asked, her lips turned outward into a pout.
"Well, first of all, he's in love with Rosaline-Don't you think it makes him seem a little fickle? And then, a few minutes after their wedding, he kills Juliet's cousin. That's not very brilliant. Mistake after mistake. Could he have destroyed his own happiness any more thoroughly" I asked. Everything made no sense to me. Why did he have to do this? Bella sighed shifting a bit.
"Do you want me to watch this alone" She asked, annoyed.
"No, I'll mostly be watching you, anyway." I said stroking her arms. "Will you cry?"
"Probably" She replied sheepishly, "if I'm paying attention"
"I won't distract you then" I replied eagerly doing the best that I could not to distract her. She cried, and I stared at her beautiful face.
"I'll admit, I do sort of envy him here," I said. Wiping off Bella's tears.
"She is very pretty" Bella said happily. I scoffed.
"I don't envy him the girl-Just the ease of suicide," I said. "You humans have it so easy! All you have to do it throw down one tiny vial of plant extracts…" I teased. She gasped.
"What!"
"Its something I had to think about once, and I knew from Carlisle's experience that it wouldn't be simple. I'm the beginning…after he realized what he'd become…" I realized then that my tone had changed. From a teasing manner into a serious one. I changed it again so she wouldn't be too curious about my past. That was something she didn't need to know. "And he's clearly in excellent health" Bella spun around and stared at my face.
"What are you talking about!" She demanded. "What do mean you had to think about it once?" I hesitated, but decided this would turn into a different conversation if I didn't explain.
"Last spring.. When you were... nearly killed…" I paused taking a deep breath and struggled to maintain my lightness, "Of course I was trying to focus on finding you alive, but part of my mind was making contingency plans. Like I said, it's not as easy for me as it is for a human"
Her eyes blanked and I struggled to make sure that memory did not resurface. A few minutes later she shook her head.
"Contingency plans?" She repeated, and asked.
"Well, I wasn't going to live without you" I said rolling my eyes. This was very obvious. "But I wasn't sure how to do it-I knew Emmett and Jasper would never help… I was thinking maybe I would go to Italy and do something to provoke the volturi." I explained. Shoot! I told her about them. Would they come? If I had thought so surely she was dead and they found out? She most certainly would die! I must be care-
"What is a Volturi?" She demanded. She looked as if her head would explode.
"The Volturi are a family," I explained. Though my other thoughts romed. "A very old, very powerful family of our kind. They are the closest thing our world has to a royal family, I suppose. Carlisle lived with them briefly in his early years in Italy, before he settled in America-do you remember the story?"
"Of course I remember" She replied, her voice shaking. I waited in the awkward silence for 3 minutes before getting bored, and continued explaining.
"Anyway, you don't irritate the volturi. Not unless you want to die-or whatever it is we do" I said calmly. Her eyes fired up again, and she took my face between her hands. I could have easily broken her hold, but I wanted her to know I was listening.
"You must never, never, never think of anything like that again! No matter what might happen to me, you are not allowed to hurt yourself!"
"I'll never put you in danger again, so it's a moot point" I explained to her.
"Put me in danger! I thought we'd established that all the bad luck is my fault!" I was making this worse. "How dare you even think like that?" She was mad, I know, but I had to make her see.
"What would you do, if the situation were reversed?" I asked hoping she would see what I meant.
"That's not the same thing" she whined. There was no difference. If I died she would, I winced but let my thoughts continue, and if she died I would to. There was no difference. I chuckled.
"What if something did happen to you? Would you want me to go off myself? She asked. I tensed. The thought brought unbearable pain.
"I guess I see your point… A little," I admitted. "But what would I do without you?"
"Whatever you were doing before I came along and complicated you existence" She replied calmly. I sighed.
"You make it sound so easy"
"It should be, I'm not really that interesting" She said, I was about to say something but agreed against it.
"Moot point" I said again. It was then that a familiar voice entered my head.
"Edwards here! He's such a nice boy, no wonder Bella likes him" I smiled at his comment, and then frowned. I am not that nice. I stiffened into a more suitable position for Charlies eyes, and moved slightly so Bella and I were not touching,
"Charlie" Bella asked. I smiled, as the police cruiser grew near. Bella's eyes lit up when she heard the noise. Bella reached for my hand and I took it happily. Charlie should be ok with that. Right?