I sighed and sat down on the floor once more that Friday morning. Nathan and I kept getting closer and closer each day, and after every time we spoke I just felt more guilty for not telling him about my past. I could never bring myself to do it, I felt that if I told him, everything would be over between us. It was too soon for that.

We had off from school due to a teacher in service day that would be filled with meetings. I had spent my morning playing with Sophia. Brooke was home but still asleep in her room. Jake was at work, and my parents were away on a business trip. I didn't hear anyone knock at the door, or the footsteps behind me.

"Oh you are such a good girl, Mama loves you oh yes she does. Can you say Mama again sweetheart?" I questioned before I heard something drop from behind me "How did you sleep Brooke?" I asked before turning around to see Nathan standing there with his eyes wide and mouth open. His hand was open as well and there were flowers laying on the floor.

"Hi Nate"

"What...what is this Haley?"

It was now or never. I gave Sophia the toy in my hand and stood up. "Please, please let me explain, and don't be mad."

"Haley" He said more forcefully as his eyes darkened and I took a step back "Who is that?"

"This is my daughter, Sophia...Listen Nathan please..."

"Who knows?"

"Nathan"

"Who knows?" He demanded once again louder.

"My family, Brooke, Lucas and Peyton." I whispered not meeting his gaze.

"Everyone but me..." He said, Sophia began to whimper so I picked her up and began rocking back and forth.

"Please...please just let me explain...it's not as bad as it looks I promise."

"Your promise isn't worth much anymore." He shook his head. "I should have saw this, there were so many signs." He turned his head and started walking slowly out of the house.

"Nathan don't!" I yelled but he didn't stop. "Brooke!" I yelled as she ran out of her room. Before she could say anything I handed her Sophia.

I ran out of the house and saw him walking down the street "Nathan, wait!" I ran as fast as I could to catch up with him, I grabbed his arm and turned him around.

"Why didn't you tell me Haley? I thought I meant more to you than this"

"You do, you do! We were just getting to know each other and I didn't want to scare you off, and I was scared myself."

"What you didn't trust me enough, I was open and honest with you about whatever you asked me, but you couldn't trust me with something as important as this. Did you think I would ruin your big secret?"

"No I never thought that, it was never like that Nathan! I didn't want you to leave like everyone else has." I admitted letting a tear run down my cheek.

"Well now you lost me because you kept this from me, yeah you aren't normal and you have baggage but you weren't honest with me which hurts the most. I can't be here...I can't, goodbye." He then ran off.

I couldn't chase after him, I was frozen in my place. I really liked him, but now he was gone and it was my fault. He is never coming back just like everyone else I knew. Eventually I pulled myself together and walked back home. Brooke tried to console me, to tell me everything would get better, but it wouldn't. Things would never be the same.

I walked into Lucas's house with Sophia on my hip. "Luke! Lucas are you home, I used my key, I hope you don't mind."

"I'm in my room hold on." He shouted.

"Is Peyton here, I don't want to interrupt...eww...use protection you know the outcome...Yeah okay now I'm grossed out so I'll go..." I said turning around.

"Peyton isn't hear you goof." He said finally walking out...with Nathan.

I had been balancing Sophia on one hip and the diaper bag rested on my other shoulder. I had very puffy eyes and a tear stained face. "Hi" I said looking at him.

"Hi" He whispered.

"We had to pause NBA Live" Lucas said.

"Of course"

"What's up Hales?" Lucas asked.

"Can you watch Soph, I have to get to work and my parents went out of town. I already ruined Brooke's morning and Jake had to work and then went to school since he has detention for slapping Brooke in the ass at school. If you can't it's fine I will take her to the cafe with me."

"Calm down Hales, I can watch her."

"Thank you so much, you're a lifesaver. I really didn't want to take her with me because of all the germs and I think that's where she got her cold from. If you could avoid taking her outside too I don't want it to get worse."

"I understand Hales, plus I love Sophie." He leaned over and tickled her as she giggled.

"You got wings baby." I said winking at him.

"Did you just quote Gilmore Girls?"

"How do you know that Lucas Scott?"

"Because you and Brooke used to make me watch remember, you threatened me to every day when we were in the sixth grade!"

I laughed "Sounds like us, but you loved it anyway."

"I do admit, I loved Kirk...Ok, so this meat loaf... is it a romantic food for you? Is it getting you hot?"

"Say I was Tom Cruise. Where would you seat me?" I asked as he started laughing. "There is baby medicine in her bag, the dosage says it on the bottle and she could probably use it in like two hours. Her nap schedule is different though, she will probably play for another three hours, so you can just sit her in the pack n play with toys she will be fine, her food is in the bag too...Alright I have to go so c'mere baby James" I dropped the diaper bag on the table and lifted her up to kiss her. "Mama loves you, now be good and I will be back soon." I handed her over to Luke.

"We will be fine Hales" Lucas started to say before Sophia pointed to me and said Mama "When did she learn to say that?" He questioned a smile spreading across his face.

"Yesterday" I said joyfully "At first she was doing that whole mamamam babbling thing, but she actually like said mama and directed it toward me. Actually first she was saying dadada which pissed me off because I don't know where she picked that up"

"I read a book once that said the syllables they say first are ba da then ma so that's why it has nothing to do with the word dada"

"Lucas Scott was reading an article on babies first words?"

"My mom made me read it when Lily was born okay" He defended. "But I would have for Sophia I guess...I still can't believe she is talking already though"

"It's early but that just means she will be as smart as her mother."

He laughed and replied "If she's like you she will be lazy and not walk till she is a year and a half."

"Oh yeah, lazy huh? I would like to see you looking as good as I do, eight months after I had a baby." I said slapping my own butt walking towards the door.

"Not medically possible"

"Plus why would I need to walk if I could talk and order Jake around?" I joked

"But Hales...you do look great, I mean those last five pounds aren't from the pregnancy its muscle."

"I got muscular from running?"

"No from us working out at the rivercourt every Saturday during her nap...we should go again soon."

"No more suicides please or I will slit my wrists"

"They're not that bad."

"I'm slow, your fast, big difference"

"You were muscular before you gave birth"

"Woah when you say muscular you make me sound like some body builder or something, I had some muscles but nothing major"

"You had more upper body strength than me. You could do more pushups than anyone I knew. You just need to get back into shape."

"Don't remind me Lucas...gosh listen to me, two years ago I was in the best shape of my life and now I am complaining about suicides, they used to be so easy." I smiled, then I saw the time. "Oh crap I'm going to be late"

"Oh please like my mom would care, I think she loves you more than me"

"You got that right, who wouldn't?" I opened the door looking back to Nathan who was standing a few feet behind Lucas with his hands in his pockets, I shifted my gaze to Lucas who was waving Sophia's hand at me. I smirked and said "Bye princess, bye boys." as I shut the door and headed off to work. I loved how in an instant any of my best friends could change my mood, or make me forget about the troubles in my life for just a little while.

Four hours later I walked back into Lucas's house to see Nathan and Lucas playing a very competitive game of NBA Live. "So...where is my daughter?" I questioned looking around and not seeing her. I had startled the boys.

"Pack and Play, my room."

I took her sleeping figure out of the portable crib and hooked her into the car seat.

I picked it up and walked back into the main room. They had paused the game "Thank you so much Luke."

"No problem buddy."

"Did you have any problems this time?" I joked and he scowled at me.

"Her diaper only exploded one time." I glared at him "Okay twice, but that was only because you were using eco-friendly diapers."

"They worked you just had to put like three on at a time." He laughed "That reminds me." He pulled something out of the closet. "If my memory is correct my niece is nine months old today."

"Oh my...I forget Luke, is it the 19th. I can't believe I forgot, what kind of mother forgets this, I'm terrible."

"No you are not Haley" He pulled me into a tight hug. "You are doing a great job okay, you are a full time student, with a 4.0 gpa might I add, you have a part time job, and you are raising her the best you can."

"Thanks" I whispered. I grabbed the bag and opened it. There were three onesies that said 'my uncle loves me' 'if you think i'm cute you should see my mom' and 'my fingers may be small but I have my uncle wrapped around them.' At the bottom of the bag laid a picture frame that said on the bottom 'I love my mommy'

"Luke is this?" I questioned with watery eyes.

"The day she was born. I wanted you to have good memories of that day to make up for all the bad ones. It was a wonderful day." In the frame was a picture of me holding her, it was the first time I was able to and I was just looking down at her with tears in my eyes because I was overjoyed.

"I still can't believe how small she was"

"This was…the best day of my life" I whispered letting a few tears fall as I hugged him. "Sometimes...this is going to come out the completely wrong way, but…sometimes I wish she wasn't here."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean like...yet, I wish she wasn't here yet...I'm just a teenager and sometimes I wish I had those experiences everyone else has...but then I think how horrible it makes me to think that way because I love her so much and wouldn't trade her for anything."

"You're a teenage, you are just a regular teenager with a baby. You have dreams and goals and having a baby halted it all. You aren't a horrible person everyone who knows you knows how much you love Sophia and knows you don't resent her."

"I guess...Anyways I have to go." I quickly wiped away my tears. I threw my purse, the gift bag, and the diaper bag over my shoulder and picked up the car seat with my other hand "She is getting heavy."

"I know, another thing she learned from you, how to eat."

"Ha ha you are so funny LucASS. But anyway, thank you for doing this and I will see you tonight for movie night." Then I was off. When I got home I instantly took Sophia up to her crib, then brought in all the bags and threw them on the couch before going to take a nap.