After three days of signing autographs to squirrels at Time Square, Ron got rabies. No one cared, so he suffered in silence. As the band continued to ignore Ron, Hermione, who had made a magic tour bus from a old school bus, pushed everyone into the bus so they can make their way to Hungary.
"SEATBELTS, EVERYONE!" screamed Hermione, as Liz from the Magic School Bus sat on her shoulder.
Cruisin' on down Main Street
You're relaxed and feelin' good
Next thing that you know you're seein'
Octopus in the neighborhood!
Surfin' on a sound wave
Swingin' through the stars
Take a left at your intestine
Take your second right past Mars.
On THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
Navigate a nostril
Climb on THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
Spank a plankton, too
On our Magic School Bus
Raft a river of lava
On THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
Such a fine thing to do!
So strap your bones right to the seat
Come on in and don't be shy —
Just to make your day complete
You might get baked into a pie
On THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS...
Step inside — it's a wilder ride!
Come on — ride on THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS!
"…That was an overly long joke," said McGonagall.
"No, it was the THIRD MOST METAL THING EVER!" screamed Hagrid.
So Hermione, Liz(who magically came into the story), Hagrid, Dumbledore, Aragog, McGonagall, Ron, Hermione's breasts, Luna, and her two Japanese Yaoi Pets(whom she named Sora and Riku, no real relation) flew off of the street and into the air. Where they're going, they don't need roads.
While in the sky heading for Hungary, Ron foamed at the mouth, but no one cared. Luna began dressing up Sora and Riku as Naruto and Sasuke and assigned them their ranks. Since they were eleven and aged seven years after Dumbledore's song, they were now 100% legal. Sora was the uke and Riku was the seme. The two tried to remain silent. Dumbledore, who was sliding into a new outfit, began to get impatient.
"Are we there yet?" asked Dumbledore.
"No, Dumbledore. And no, aparating won't work. Because? Because I said so. Now eat your applesauce."
"I don't want my applesauce, I want Hungary!" screamed Dumbledore.
"McGonagall!" shouted Hermione loudly and redundantly.
"I'm on it."
McGonagall grabbed Dumbledore's applesauce and diaper.
"No! No!" shouted Dumbledore. Dumbledore ran away from McGonagall and jumped into Hermione's breasts. The Marshmallow Hell devoured Dumbledore and Liz had to dive in to save him.
"With every new victim we consume, we grow stronger!" screamed Hermione's left breast, Mrs. Jiggles.
"We need to save Dumbledore!" screamed Hermione, knowing her breasts' power.
"I know!" said Luna. "We need motorboating power! Riku, go and play with her breasts!"
"Hai, Runa-sama!" shouted Riku. Riku ran to the driver's seat and placed his face into Hermione's cleavage. He then expelled air from his mouth and moved his head side-to-side.
"HAHAHA!!! STOP, IT TICKLES!!!!" shouted Hermione.
Hermione then accidentally hit the emergency brake, which they have on a flying bus for some reason. The bus stopped mid-air and began to fall. Dumbledore and Liz flew out of Hermione's breasts just in time for the entire bus to crash land into the water. The bus then began to sink into the depths of the ocean.
After about five minutes of sinking, the bus hit the seafloor. The bus doors opened and the bus filled with water. The band could still breathe, however, because if Batman can breathe in space, then wizards can breathe underwater.
The band walked out of the bus. Wouldn't you? As they walked along the sea floor, wondering aimlessly, they noticed lights in the distance. Then ran to the lights, noticing they were coming from an underwater stadium. They noticed that they were in the lost city of New Orleans.
"Sugoi!" shouted Sora.
"Wow, New Orleans! I never knew this actually existed!" said Aragog. "Weren't there people here once?"
"Well, I don't think that those could be considered people," said McGonagall. "…That wasn't racist, right?"
"No, no…It was…it was good," said Hermione, knowing that McGonagall wasn't very PC when it came to Americans.
"Hey, isn't Louisiana south of New York? Weren't we going to Hungary?" asked McGonagall. "Do you even know where Hungary is?"
"…Shut up!" she defended. "I'm a witch, not a geographer!"
The band continued on. They walked into the stadium to see thousands of mermaids in the stands. The hot ones, like Ariel, not the Harry Potter ones. On the stage, a merman was juggling pineapples. Underwater. Go figure.
"Looks like this place could use some METAL!" shouted Hagrid. He then took out his guitar from his anus I MEAN deep pockets. The rest of the band did the same. They ran up to the stage and pushed the merman off. The mermaids looked intrigued and horny. Fish horny, I guess. Scaly?
"Hello, ladies!" shouted Hagrid.
"Zugzug hello," said the mermaids in a deeper voice than you'd expect to hear from hot fish-people.
Hagrid brandished his guitar. Luna flaunted her saxophone. Hermione posed with her breasts(that doubled as castanets). Ron snarled. McGonagall made a sexy pose with her guitar that broke her hip. Liz pulled out her tongue, which is used like a banjo. Riku and Sora took out their tambourines in an apathetic manor. Aragog, having drums, could not do anything funny. Dumbledore, in a leather, frilled bikini, danced with his microphone.
"Zugzug Giant Enemy Crab!" shouted one mermaid.
"Zugzug attack its weak point for massave damage!" said a mermaid. Yes, this is a recurring joke. Deal with it.
Hermione rolled out the electrical amplifiers. As Hagrid plugged in his guitar, a giant ball of electricity flew from the guitar, frying every unnamed character in the stadium. The band looked shocked. They then grabbed their supplies and ran like bats out of Hell.
As they ran back to the bus, they noticed that Dumbledore was gone. They looked around, seeing no one.
"…Where's Dumbledore?" asked Luna, pointing out the obvious. "I hope the sea didn't eat him."
"Snarl," said Ron. Ron rabidly pointed to the left, where an abomination of Lovecraftian proportions was carrying Dumbledore. Both were in skanky lingerie.
"Hello, my underlings!" said Dumbledore. "This is Cthulu, one of the Old Ones. His existence makes the universe's head hurt. We did it. Several times."
"Wrlfbalsdvgon," lashjkred Cthulu.
Dumbledore jumped off of Cthulu. Cthulu waved good-bye.
"See you, sweetie. I have your number, you have mine, so let's get together sometime," said Dumbledore. "I'm not going to call," he whispered to the band.
The band then got back onto the bus and never mentioned this again.