Disclaimer: I don't own How To Train Your Dragon, and I never will. All rights go to DreamWorks, who made the movies and the series, and Cressida Cowell, the author of the books. In case you didn't read the summary properly, this is a modern AU fanfic. Enjoy!
Disclaimer 2: I don't own any songs mentioned in this chapter, either. All rights go to the respective owners.
Toothless: Hiccup, when are you going to get up? You'll be late for school.
Hiccup: I hate school! Give me another five minutes.
Toothless: Oh, really? (Snatches Hiccup's phone.) Get up or I text Astrid all the embarrassing things you don't want her to know. Like what you called your favourite teddy bear and how you were scared of the dark until you were seven.
Hiccup: (Runs out of the room.) Already taking a shower! Don't you dare touch my phone!
Toothless: Gotcha.
Hiccup: How long are you going to believe that I will do anything for a cookie?
Toothless: (Takes out packet of triple-chocolate cookies from his pocket) Follow the cookie, follow the cookie . . .
Hiccup: That is not fair! Hand them over!
Toothless: Do my maths homework and I'll think about it.
Bully: Hey, Toothless! You have to stop calling Hiccup your brother because you're not really related!
Toothless: I don't think that's anything to do with you and you should keep your nose out of other people's business.
Bully: I'm just trying to look out for you! Ever since your parents adopted Hiccup, he's been nothing but an embarrassment to you! Your reputation's at stake here!
Toothless: Let me correct you. Hiccup is not an embarrassment, and will never be an embarrassment. Do not ever call him that again. Another thing you might want to know is that he's not adopted; I AM!
Bully: I have an errand to run! (Runs away.)
Snotlout: Why do people keep singing the song This Is Me? It's annoying.
Hiccup: (Plays the song at full blast to annoy him.)
Snotlout: It's not as bad as you think, Ruffnut! It'll only take a few minutes and you don't even have to like it!
Hiccup and Toothless: There's a speech he knows by heart.
Stoick: Hiccup, when will you go to bed?
Toothless: Dad, if you want him to go to bed, leave a trail of cookies for him to follow. Works every time.
Hiccup: Toothless, shut up!
Stoick: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
PE teacher: (to Toothless) Come on, Haddock! You have to be doing something in my lesson!
Toothless: Fine. (Starts lifting Hiccup like a barbell.) One, two, three . . .
Toothless: Hiccup, I'm bored.
Hiccup: Why don't you take out a good book and see if you can find Wally?
Spitelout: Hiccup, you're growing! What happened to you?
Hiccup: I ate breakfast for once.
Stoick: Hiccup, stop using Toothless to carry your stuff.
Hiccup: (stops eating his muffin) I'm sorry; my hands are full.
Toothless: I had to! His arm was hurting him and he bribed me with food!
Stoick: Oh, Thor.
Snotlout: (walks in covered in fake tan) Surprise!
Hiccup: (runs away screaming) EVERYBODY OUT! DONALD TRUMP'S HERE AND WE'RE ALL GOING TO BE DEPORTED! TELL MY FAMILY I LOVE THEM!
Toothless: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Hiccup: Toothless, you either eat your breakfast or I feed you like you were a baby!
Toothless: I'm not a baby and I'm not eating mushy cardboard!
Hiccup: Fine, have it your way. (Takes a spoonful of Toothless' cereal.) Here comes the aeroplane . . .
Toothless: Hiccup, not fu-MMPH! (Has cereal shoved in his mouth.)
Hiccup: (Holding Toothless' nose so he has to swallow it.) There you go, you've eaten it. You want another spoonful now, little brother?
Toothless: I'll feed myself, thanks. (Eats his cereal while grimacing at the taste.)
Stoick: I have one weird family.
Hiccup: (talking on the phone) Astrid, if you're coming over, I'll have to change! (He runs to his room.)
Toothless: So you're not waiting for a full moon after all?
Hiccup and Toothless are weird, I know. But like all brothers, they have each other's backs! FT543 signing out!