Chapter 3

A.N. So this chapter will be out of character for Hazel, and for Katniss. But I want to show the heavy effects a war can have on different people, that's why Gale is out of character in this story.

Katniss POV

It has been two days since I'd seen Gale and Posy. Hazel came and collected them whilst I was on my hunt. I'd came home to a quiet, empty house. No note was left, so goodbye, small or big. It honestly hurt. But what else did I expect? I had cut him out of my life when the bomb he designed was used to kill my sister. I tried to focus on that, focus on the reason for us being ripped apart, but all I could think about was how broken I felt without him.

My façade that I had spend years building up was crumbling. I had forced myself into a routine, and helping with the rebuild in order to forget my pain. I didn't want to face my demons, and heal. It was just too painful. So instead I blotted it all out and forced myself to be 'normal'. Only now the cracks were starting to appear, and I wasn't the only one who'd noticed.

When Peeta and Haymitch came by for lunch, they were quite shocked to find me sitting by the fire in my kitchen, my breakfast sat on the table, untouched. I hadn't even made the effort to go hunting. I didn't feel like it.

They both tried to coax me into eating, each one taking turns in trying to get a conversation out of me. But it didn't work. All I did was stare into the fire, as if the answers to all my life's problems lay in the bright embers.

I'd heard Gales name being tossed about angrily. Blame lay upon him for daring to come back to twelve. But it wasn't his fault. The problem lay with me. I had choked back my emotions for so long that I no longer knew how to handle them.

Haymitch had expressed his relief in the news that the Hawthorns were heading back to district two the very next day, and it was that bit of news that snapped me out of my melancholy.

I found my nerves getting the better of me as I walked to the temporary residence of the Hawthorns. They had been housed in one of the plush three bedroom apartments that had been recently built upon the outskirts of the town.

I had decided to go and say goodbye, and to try to talk to him. I didn't know why though, I had no idea what I was going to say to him. But I felt this overwhelming need to see him, and apparently it was not to be ignored.

So, that's how I found myself knocking on the their door and awaiting the answer with baited breath.

Vick answered, to my relief, and utter dismay. "Oh hi, Katniss," his surprise was evident, and so was mine. Now eleven, Vick had grown substantially, tall and gangly like Gale with the same slate grey eyes, and unruly mop of brown hair, he was Gale's spitting image.

"Is Gale here?" I asked not able to hid my surprise at the boy who stood before me.

"No, but you can come in and wait, he's just went to see Thom." He stood aside and motioned for me to come in. I didn't really want to, now that I was here my need to run was overwhelming, but I couldn't be rude.

So with a muttered thanks I entered the home.

It was large and overly white. Plush furniture and carpets adorned the rooms, and everything looked clinical. Nothing had any personality to it, and it certainly didn't have a homey feel. The door immediately opened up to a large sitting room, with two plush couches, an overstuffed armchair, and the latest television. To the left hand side of the sitting room was the kitchen, where I could see Hazel standing washing the dishes. Old habits die hard. And to the right was a corridor which I'm sure led to the three bedrooms and bathroom.

Vick had already went to his room, so I decided to go and seek out Hazel. She was like a second mother to me, and I missed talking to her greatly.

I stepped into the kitchen and gave a little cough to signal that I was there. Hazel turned round in surprise, but upon seeing me her stare turn to steely.

"Gale's not here." she said roughly. I blanched. Hazel was always so sweet towards me, why was she acting so gruff?

"I know, Vick said."

"We'll be out of here soon enough, no need to go upsetting him even more."

"Excuse me?"

"No need for no goodbyes." she snapped harshly. "Gale is doing alright without you."

"Not from what I've seen." I said disbelievingly.

"We'll it's your fault he's in this mess. But, he'll be alright soon enough, we'll get him through it."

"My fault?" I asked incredulously, how on earth could this woman think this was all my fault.

"Yes. You know I used to think of you as such a lovely girl. Part of the family. The Hawthorns and Everdeen's, one big happy family. Everyone else thought so too. You and Gale were inseparable...well that was until Snow got his claws into you. You let him get into your mind and rip apart the strongest couple I'd ever seen. You discarded us all like trash, you tore my son's heart apart!"

"Gale killed my sister!" I yelled.

"Oh, piss off!" she yelled back. "Gale couldn't have killed Prim any more than he could Posy! He loved Prim, they became very close as they watched you go through those games. Became a shoulder to cry on for each other as they watched you fall apart after the Quell. Gale loved her, loved her like he loves Posy. And I had never seen him so devastated than I did when he got the news that she'd been killed. He tore that Palace apart trying to find her, he didn't believe it until he saw her for him...himself."

She paused as the emotions overcame her, and I tried to choke back the sickness that welled in my gut. I didn't know what to say.

"Gale was a pawn in that war! Coin used him. She preyed on his weakness, on his anger over what Snow had done to his father. She got into his head and she used that anger, and the passion he had for protecting you only fuelled her more.

"He blames himself every single day for being weak enough to let a poisonous woman like her into his mind! She took his ideas and turned them into weapons. She sent Prim to the front line to try to rattle you, to make you weaker. To take everything you loved away from you, and you let her!

"Gale didn't know Prim was there any more than you did. He didn't even know that his ideas had been made into weapons. Killing a bunch of kids was never in his game plan, even Capitol kids. That's what he was trying to fight against, and if he'd have been given the choice he would sooner have turned traitor.

"Yet, if the shoe had been on the other foot, he wouldn't have blamed you, not for one second." And with that final blow, Hazel stormed out of the kitchen.

I couldn't breathe. Everything she'd said was true. Yet I refused to acknowledge it because I needed to blame someone, and I'd chosen Gale. Even though he was suffering just as much as I was. He was used as a pawn in Coins games, and I blamed him for it instead of her.

The walls began to close in on me, so I bolted. I vaguely heard Posy calling my name. But I couldn't stop. The damn had broken, and all the pain, and suffering, and heartbreak of the last five years was spilling out of me all in that very second.

I managed to make it back home, though I didn't know how. I'd caught glimpses of Haymitch and Peeta, but I ignored their pleas as I raced up to my bedroom. I needed to shut myself away. I found a tight corner in between my wardrobe and wall, and wedged myself in tight.

I needed to block out all pain, and heartache, but it wouldn't work. Nothing was going to work now. I had broken.

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Peeta was furious. Never more so had he been than in that moment. Gale was nothing but trouble, always had been. Now that he was back here. He was causing devastation. Katniss was a wreck. She had retreated back into herself. Like she was when he first came back, but he'd worked too damn hard for her to just retreat again. Gale may have been leaving but he was going to make damn sure Gale got a piece of his mind before he did.

He stormed over to the apartment that Gales family temporarily lived in and hammered on the door a bit too hard. He heard Gale swear as he came to the door.

Gale was surprised to find an enraged Peeta on the other side of the door. He wasn't expecting to see the baker boy at all.

"What?" He asked roughly. Very aware that he was facing an enraged victor.

"You're a real piece of work, you know that?" Peeta snapped. Gale didn't respond, he didn't know what to say in response.

"She was happy, she was slowly moving on, and now you've came and wrecked it all."

"I came here for my sister, not Katniss." he said. His heart was pumping hard. Something must've happened for Peeta to get so enraged.

"Yeah well now you've undone all my hard work. She was better!"

"Peeta," he sighed, "I have no idea what you're babbling on about. What happened to Katniss?"

"Oh, you know!" Peeta snapped. "What ever it was you said to her has sent her right back into herself. She has been holed up in a corner of her room from this morning. Neither Haymitch nor myself have been able to get through to her, she just stares into the distance, muttering to herself."

Gale paled. "I haven't spoken to Katniss in two days!" he said. He left a bewildered Peeta standing at the door and went in search of his mom.

"Mom?" He called. He found her in her bedroom, packing up the last of her stuff. "Mom, did Katniss call here?" His mother hung her heard in guilt.

"Yes, she did, as a matter of fact." she said meekly. She was surprised to see fear cross her sons face.

"Mom, what did you say to her?" he asked tensely.

"I told her some home truths." she snapped. Gales face paled.

He didn't say anything else to his mom, he was too enraged. Instead he bolted out of the room faster than she'd seen him move in a long time. "We leave in half an hour Gale!" she called out to her son, but he ignored her pleas.

He ran past a confused Peeta, too focused to pay attention to the questions that Peeta was firing him. Katniss needed him. He had to tell her that whatever his mom said wasn't true.

Fuelled by panic and a renewed energy from eating three meals a day for the past two days, he made it too Katniss' home in just a few short minutes. But was hastily stopped by an enraged Haymitch.

"Hold up, pretty boy" he snipped. "She doesn't need you in there upsetting her more."

"I didn't say anything to her!" Gale snapped. "I haven't seen her in two days."

"Sure." he said disbelievingly. "So she just came home, upset for no reason?"

"She had a run in with my mom—"

"Oh! So you just thought you'd come and finish the job?"

"No! I came to make things right!" Gale snarled. Peeta had managed to catch up, and Haymitch was grateful. He could see the fire building back up I'm Gale. The fire, he was sure, had burned out with the loss of Katniss.

"You can't make thing right with Katniss, you'll never be able to make things right with her again, so why don't you just do yourself a favour, and go back to two."

"No! I'm not leaving her when she needs me, not again. I let you force me into walking away once before, but not again. Now move out of my way Haymitch, or I will move you!" He pushed passed him, but in the end Haymitch didn't put up a fight. He knew that nothing was going to stop Gale from going to Katniss.

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Katniss POV.

Everything was dark. My thoughts had consumed me, and I succumbed to them willingly. Not seeing any point in fighting them any more. There was fire. Over and over I watched as Prim burned, then my mum, and Gale. That was new! And pretty horrific.

I felt like I couldn't breathe. I could hear voices, but I could not distinguish them, nor what they were saying. I was too lost in my grief. I had treated Gale horrendously. And now I was suffering.

I soon began envisioning Gales death more, at my own hands. Instead of Marvel, it was Gale I'd killed, Cato, the poor man from ten, Coin, Snow. They all turned into Gale, dying at my hands. The grief was all consuming. I turned away from the horrific scenes, trying to get away from the pain, but each time I was met with a new vision of Gale dying. It seemed never ending. Each scene flickered in my minds eye over and over, each time becoming more bloody and violent. And just when I thought that I was about to loose my mind, he called my name.

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Gale rushed up to her room. His heart hammering harder than it ever had before. He found her quickly, and his heart literally stopped at the sight.

Katniss was sitting huddled tight in a corner, the way she used to do in thirteen. She was staring straight ahead, unblinking. Clearly seeing something that he couldn't. He gently walked towards her, like he would if he was stalking his prey. She never flinched. She clearly couldn't hear him. As he got closer he realised that she was muttering something.

"He is mine, and I am his" over and over the words fell from her mouth. He wondered who she was talking about. He doubted it was himself. She didn't feel that way about him, he'd come to terms with that a long time ago.

He however, was still utterly in love with his girl on fire, and felt he always would be. He had a connection with her like no other, no one could replace her in his heart.

He gently knelt in front of her and brushed a hand down her arm. She didn't flinch. She was too far gone. He looked towards the doorway, where Haymitch and Peeta stood with a hopeless expression. They wore the same look. They didn't know how to help her.

"Catnip?" He said tenderly. He wasn't expecting a response. He didn't know why he used her nickname. He hadn't in so long. It just tumbled from his lips automatically.

Her head snapped up to his and her eyes focused on him. He held his breath as reality came back to her. Holding her gaze he waited. She blinked a few times. As if she was adjusting to light.

"Gale?" she whispered broken-heartedly. He smiled slightly, tentatively. "Gale!" she said with more strength, and too his utter surprise she launched herself at him.

He caught her easily, they wobbled a bit, but after he steadied them, he wrapped his strong arms around her tightly. They hadn't touched each other in five years, and he realised then just how much he'd missed her, and how at home he felt with her in his arms. She buried her face into his chest and the dam broke, her heart breaking, and sobs ensued. She sobbed harder than she ever had before.

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A.N. Well this took longer to write than expected. I hope you enjoy it.