Hello all! The Sue death toll has been raised to 4!

Oh, i forgot to mention; Thank you to all Mary-Sue bashing authors out there!

Previously, Sarah...etc...etc has pranced off to somewhere in an unaturally pink castle, leaving Ed in a room on his own, save a few FMA bishonen pictures. Al's requested help from Mustang (Obviously, if you've read the previous two chapters) and now, let's continue this fic.

In Mustang's office...

"So..."Said Mustang slowly. "This is the girl, right?"

"Yeah..."

On a piece of waste parchment was a cartoonish drawing of Sarah. The pink was replaced with red and the gold with yellow dye. Al even went to the trouble of borrowing some of Armstrong's sparkles.

"But Alphonse," Roy said. "I'm afraid that without solid evidence, we cannot go into action against this girl. We'd need the higher-up's permission to continue this mission."

"Oh..."

A small twitch came from Al's pocket.

"Oh no!" Cried Al as he finally scooped out the small kitten from his pocket. Well, at least he didn't sit on it.

When the kitten was held in Al's palms for about five seconds it was surrounded by grey smoke. Everyone in the office coughed a little.

"Hello..." Said an unfamiliar voice.

Everyone opened their eyes. In front of them was a young girl whose beauty rivalled Sarah's. Sparkling grey hair danced in the non-existant breeze.

"I am Starlight Melody Royal SilverMoon, the Light Alchemist!" To demonstrate, she fished a silver pocketwatch out of her sleek silver skirt. "And I love you, Mr. Mustang!"

Mustang didn't have a clue what was going on, but hey, he's getting a pretty hot girl.

"Hello, my lady." He said in a very gentlemanly way. "How can I be of assistance?" Then he flashed a toothy grin at Starlight, who squealed in delight.

"Oh, Roy, I have been looking for you through the entire Milky Way! I've searched in all the Nebulas, and I even risked my life to find you through a meteor storm!"

Mustang, who was pretty pleased with himself about three lines ago, was starting to get creeped out a little.

"Then I came back to earth, And what do I find...you abandoning your beautiful childhood friend who risked her life to save you for a sharpshooter woman!" She cried. Woah, moodswing.

"That's enough!" Hawkeye whisked out two guns from her holsters.

"I will fight for my love, no matter what it takes!" Screamed Starlight and clapped her hands together.

"...RIZA!" Yelled Mustang. "GET OUTTA HERE! SHE'S AN ALCHEMIST...!"

But Riza stood her ground like any brave woman in battle, instead of collapsing in a hero's arms, like any good Mary-Sue.

...It was a little while before Al noticed the kitten was missing. But, as he was a pretty sharp alchemist, he figured Starlight was similar to Sarah...both can turn into animals. But if Sarah had Telekinesis, then Starlight must've have had another power too...and maybe that's where Starlight's alchemy comes in.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Five minutes later- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Mustang's office was a complete mess. Mind, it always was a complete mess, covered with papers and letters.

But this time it was different.

Bullet holed covered all the walls while stone statues of Starlight littered the floors. Mustang tried to stop them wrecking his office with fire, but it just made things worse. The rest of Mustang's men (Breda, Falman, Feury, Havoc) has hidden somewhere. They wanted to go on Starlight's side, with her being incredibly attractive, but they feared what Hawkeye'd do with them if they did.

Hawkeye slumped against a wall heavily. Blood was trickling down everywhere into a small pool. She knew she would not last much longer against Starlight's light alchemy-it cuts you everywhere. Skills like that should be considered magic, not alchemy.

"The final blow." Whispered Starlight softly. The bullets went through her like a rock through water; against all logic. Starlight lifted her beautiful pale arms up and...

"Why?"

All faces turned to Al.

"Why are you so intent on killing? 'Alchemy should be used for the masses.' That's an alchemist's joy and pride! You can't just go and kill somebody!"

"She's stolen my one true love! That cannot happen, for I am a perfect being!!" Starlight started to cry. When the tears came in contact with the air they turned into diamonds.

Mustang had to do something before things got out of hand. Or rather, Starlight did. She was pretty powerful...

"If...if I was to be your boyfriend...would...would you leave Riza alone..." He stammered, hoping he would not regret this...too much.

"Colonel!" Shouted Hawkeye, but had to stop; moving was painful and she lunged forward

"Okay!" Smiled Starlight without any hesitation. "Let's go to my place! It'll be fun!"

Before the two left, Mustang gave a hand signal, a sign his men knew very well.

They were going to wage war.

Then Feury and Falman moved towards the injured blonde to treat her injuries. Now they've seen Starlight's real self they were starting to feel threatened.

3 hours later, it the pink castle...

Ed leaned back against the wall behind his bed and stared at the sunset. He hoped Sarah hadn't gone off on a crazy giggle-fest; it was scaring him.

A black dot appeared in the sun, but Ed thought it was just him staring at the sun too much.

Then the dot got bigger...and clearer...and bigger still...until it revealed...

"M...Mustang??!" Ed was panicking. Mustang was the only ray of hope he had beside Al, but he didn't like to put his brother in danger.

Said Pyro Alchemist went through the window while a small laugh...eerily similar to Sarah's...echoed outside.

Being trapped with demented girls was bad enough, but now with Mustang in the same room, he wasn't sure if he would live up to the age of thirty.

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