Chapter 3 – The Journal

On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand, then you stand

Stand – Rascal Flatts

The rest of the day had passed relatively quickly in Emily's opinion, and with there being no homework set she allowed herself to indulge in a little light reading. Lily was still at the library studying, she was determined not to fall behind in any of her subjects, not that she could even if she tried. So this was how Emily had found herself alone, curled up in an arm chair in the common room wrapped in a fleece blanket, reading by the fire.

"The Little Mermaid...?"

Emily managed to tear her eyes away from the page and shot a smile at Remus who was just settling into the plush sofa that sat directly in front of the fire. "Yeah, it's one of my favourite books from home." She told him,

"It's a Muggle story then?" Remus asked, turning to acknowledge his three friends as they joined him and Emily. Emily nodded,

"Yeah, it's an old but beautiful story. Mermaid falls in love with a mortal man, craves the chance to become human herself..." she shook her head and smiled, "My Dad used to read it to me as a child."

"Sounds wonderful..." Remus answered with a small smile. Emily closed the book, running her hand over the cover gently before she held it out to him.

"You should read it, I think you'll be surprised with how good it is." She told him, not missing the way Sirius rolled his eyes. Ignoring him she kept her focus on Remus, as he carefully took the book from her fingers.

"You sure?" he asked, making Emily smile as she watched him hold the book with a tenderness only a true lover of the written word would.

"I'm sure. Just let me know what you think!" she said standing up and stretching out slightly, "Now I should go retrieve Lily from the library wouldn't want her falling asleep on a pile of books again!" with a small wave to the group she headed out the common room.

For a moment there was silence between the four friends before James sighed and looked at Sirius, "You had the perfect opportunity then to give her it back..."

"And say what exactly Prongs? Oh, Emily by the way I snatched this from your bag earlier, here you can have it back...she'd lynch me for sure." Sirius shot back, retrieving the journal from his bag.

"Yeah well it's no more than you deserve. You know I'll always help in causing a little chaos but man, this is her journal! There's things in there none of us should ever know, she'll be crushed when she realises you have it!" James replied, Remus nodded,

"And there goes any chance you may have had with her."

Rolling his eyes Sirius threw his bag over his shoulder and stood from the couch, "Fine, I'll give it back to her tomorrow." He exclaimed, shooting one last look at his friends before he took to the stairs and headed into his room.

Another three days had been and gone, and before any of the students had realised, it was finally Friday the last day of their first week. Lily had been recruited into Slughorn's, Slug Club which she was ecstatic. Emily too was happy for her friend as this was a great opportunity to make some contacts in the Ministry. Even if they didn't want to think about the future, both of them knew how extremely beneficial this could be.

Sirius had yet to return Emily's journal to her. He hadn't read anything else out of it, but was finding it extremely difficult to approach her and hand it back. He knew she'd assume the worst and he didn't want that, so instead he was trying to figure out ways to get close enough to her, so he could slip it into her bag.

Seeing Emily entering the Great Hall, Sirius hurried to catch up with her. As he reached the doors however he neglected to see the group now exiting the hall and collided hard with the ring leader sending them both sprawling to the floor, their individual books spilling out over the ground.

"Black!"

Sirius groaned as he pushed himself up, coming face to face with one of the worst Slytherin's in sixth year, Mulciber. Rolling his eyes, Sirius snatched up his books before standing and smirking, "You need to watch were your going chunks!" it was with a weird sense of satisfaction that Sirius watched Mulciber's face turn red and his eyes widen.

"Well you need to remember your place Black!" he spat, flexing his fingers before making fists. Still smirking Sirius offered him a mock salute before shouldering his way through the group and into the great hall, smiling all the way.

Sliding down onto the bench Sirius dropped his bag beside him and sighed, reaching for a plate. James whose eyes were still glued to the group of Slytherin's now chatting rather excitedly by the door, frowned and turned to Sirius, "What was that about?" he asked.

"Nothing I can't handle..." Sirius replied through a mouthful of bacon and toast. James nodded before he let his gaze flicker to Emily who was chatting away to Lily beside him. Sirius nodded understanding James when his mate nodded, "Hey Emily..." he called her name.

Stopping what she was doing Emily turned to face Remus, "What?" she asked, her tone hesitant, she never really knew what she was going to get with Sirius so this made her cautious. Instead he smiled,

"I have something for you..." he told her as he opened his bag. As he rifled through the books, parchments, and quills in the bag however, it became quickly apparent that the journal wasn't there. Sirius frowned, he'd made sure to pack it before he'd left his room...in an instant a cold feeling of dread washed over him and his attention snapped back to the doors.

Emily's journal had fallen out the back when he'd bumped into Mulciber. James watched as Sirius's face visibly paled and dread filled his own stomach. Sirius fell from the bench and grabbing his bag tore down the aisle between the tables, James, Remus and Peter hot on his tail.

"What the hell was that about?" Emily asked Lily as she turned back to the red headed girl. Lily though watched until the four boys disappeared before shaking her head and laughing slightly,

"I wish I knew."

"Sirius please tell me I'm wrong in thinking what I'm thinking!" James panted as they skidded to a halt outside the hall. Sirius searched the ground wildly his fingers tugging at his thick, wavy dark hair.

"No...No...I'm so stupid!"" he threw his bag to the floor in anger and kicked it away from him. "He has it, Mulciber has that damned journal!"

Remus now realizing what had happened shook his head and closed his eyes, whilst Peter hung at the back of the group watching the scene with his eyes wide. "We need to find him now and get it back, you know what Mulciber is like..." Peter squeaked, pleased when Remus and James nodded their heads quickly.

"He's right mate we have to get it back now..." Remus said, picking up Sirius's bag and handing it to him. Ignoring the first bell for class the four friends headed off down to the dungeons, all of them hoping that Mulciber had yet to realise what he had in his possession.

Emily was sat outside Transfiguration waiting for McGonagall to allow them into the classroom. Lily was chatting away to Remus, who looked rather distracted. Transfiguration was spent with the Ravenclaw's, so that meant class with Amelia Goodwick, another friend of Emily's and Lily's a pureblood witch.

"Dad's actually planning a trip to Alaska for Christmas." She told Emily who smiled,

"Alaska? That'll be great, you going to go skiing?" she asked, although she'd love to go somewhere like that with her own Dad, she would much rather spend Christmas at home watching Christmas movies. Amelia nodded causing her black tightly curled hair to bounce,

"We've been before. We have family who live over there, it's just been a while since we last saw them, it was a lot of fun last time." She said, quickly standing to attention when McGonagall opened the class door and allowed them entry.

Emily made a move to follow the others in but was stopped by Lily who watched Remus head into the class in concern, "Something's up..." she whispered as they slowly made their way into the classroom. Emily frowned,

"With whom?" she asked her voice quiet as they settled into their seats. Lily nodded her head back towards Remus who was sat huddled with Peter talking quietly at the back of the classroom.

"Remus, he looked worried more so than usual and when I asked where Potter and Black where he got all sketchy." She whispered, pulling out her books. Emily took a chance look at Remus, whose eyes kept flickering towards the door.

"You think James and Sirius are up to something?" she asked turning back to face the front. Lily was frowning as she shook her head,

"I certainly hope not." She muttered. Emily chewed down on her bottom lip and concentrated on McGonagall as the Professor began to speak, wondering what on Earth was holding James and Sirius.

"Okay so Hogsmeade this weekend you guys in?" Lily leaned forward against the table and eyed her friends respectively. The day had passed quietly, the Marauders had pretty much kept to themselves, and something was up with them it wasn't hard to notice.

Remus was looking more worried than usual, Peter was looking slightly shifty and James and Sirius seemed to be worried about something. Their eyes were fixated on the Slytherin table across the hall, as though they were searching for someone in particular.

"Hogsmeade sounds good to me; I need to stock up my sweet drawer..." Emily said, taking a sip of her orange juice. Beside her Amelia rolled her eyes good naturedly,

"You know your teeth will fall out..." she scolded, making Lily laugh and Emily stick out her tongue,

"They fall out so be it, I can still eat sherbet, don't need my teeth for that!" she sang, laughing when Lily threw a pea at her. As she lifted her fork to retaliate however Emily paused, her attention turning to the ceiling, as did every other student did the same as the owls which usually only delivered mail in the morning began swarming the Great Hall,

"They can't be delivering mail..." Lily said, as sheets of paper began to fall all around them. Lily lifted a sheet of paper that landed in front of her, aware of the sudden bouts of laughter occurring throughout the room. As her eyes fixed on the sheet she froze and shook her head, "Emily don't!"

Her warning was too late however. Emily had already plucked a yellow sheet from the air and begun reading, her stomach turning with every word she read. Shaking her head, she lowered her trembling hand and tried to blink back the tears in her eyes, wondering if this was some sort of bad dream. As she looked around the room however she realised it wasn't, this was actually happening, and right now, everybody was sat laughing at her as they read her private thoughts and feelings, the ones she kept in her journal.

The words screamed at her from all around:

'I wish my Mum was here. I just miss her so much and I know Dad does, despite his protests I know he's not okay. I just miss the way we used to be, I had thought we were happy but apparently I was wrong...'

'There are times when I just can't understand Amelia and her fascination with Snape! The guys a toe rag and she could do so much better. I just can't stand to listen to her go on about him anymore, after what he called Lily and those people he associates with how can she even contemplate dating someone as slimy as him?'

'You ever just lay under the stars and lost yourself in their beauty? I like to do that; I can just lay there for hours at a time fantasizing about running away, about dancing through them. I sometimes like to imagine I can fly, that I can get so high I can even touch the stars themselves. It's a freeing thought, I mean there are times when I feel so trapped all I want to do is escape, maybe one day...'

'Gideon Prewett smiled at me today. Diary can you believe it, he actually noticed me, even if it was only for a split second. All those romance novels end up flying back into my mind whenever I see him, and I wish I didn't have to just imagine kissing those lips. I think I'm in love with him, could he be my very own Mr Darcy?'

"Enough...!" Dumbledore was stood now, clutching a sheet in his own hand. The teachers too were stood and making their way around the table, waving their wands and attempting to clear the mess. The room fell deathly silent on his command, yet all eyes remained glued to Emily.

Emily quickly stood from the bench and ignoring Lily's calls she tore down the aisle, unable to hold back her tears. A sob erupted from her chest as she ran from the Great Hall and up the steps towards the Gryffindor Common Room.

Last rewritten chapter from now on we're all good! I have changed the last two chapters from what they once where though, so I like these versions I hope you guys do to!

Like always let me know!

Oh and thanks to those three guys who reviewed the first version of this story! Your support was amazing at the time, big thanks!