Robotnik was pouring over the blueprints he had on his desk. Everything appears to be in order, he thought. The construction is going much faster than I could have anticipated. Only an evil genius would roboticize animals, turning them into evil minions to do his evil bidding. With all the evil workers I have on this project it should be completed in no time at all. I've only been trying to build this thing for the last 20 fuckin years, reap the benefits bitches.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA," Robotnik laughed. Snively, hearing the commotion from outside, came wandering into the room.
"Is there something you needed, sir?" He asked.
"No, what gave you that idea, shit for brains? I was doing my evil genius laugh, because they will not escape this time."
"Very good, sir," Snively replied.
"Yes it is very good. We should be around 75 done with The Project, right?" Robotnik asked.
"The Project, sir, don't you mean Death Egg?" Snively countered.
"Goddamn it, I was trying to add a little suspense to it. Now you've fucked the reader out of critical thinking."
"Sorry, The Project is right around that estimate. If all goes well, sir, it should be in working order before the end of the month."
"The end of the month, no, no, that's much too slow. I gotta have it by tomorrow."
"You need an interstellar spacecraft completed by tomorrow, that's unfair."
"Then it must be finished by the end of the week. Roboticize more animals, Snively!" Robotnik grunted in dissatisfaction.
"Any other animals in existence are in hiding, sir. Probably because of that announcement you made a few years ago. Something like: 'I'm going to kill all you motherfuckers.' We haven't roboticized anything for some time."
"Can't you paint up a sign saying 'free meals' then roboticize any animal that comes over there? You know, give em a cheese burger than wham, eat this, fuck you."
"We did that, sir. Animals are leery of your hospitality. They generally like to keep their distance, sir."
"Then go build some more swatbots. What the fuck do I pay you for? You have the brain of an inept 10 year old child," Robotnik responded.
"You don't pay me, sir," Snively answered.
"Just as well I shouldn't, now get your moping ass back to work," Robotnik said, pointing to the door. Snively slowly made his way out the door, and Robotnik turned his attention back to the blueprints. Brilliant! He thought, I have just the thing to speed up production. "Snively, get your ass back in here. I think I've just solved our little conundrum."
--
Sonic spent the whole morning with Tails sweeping the warehouse. Tails seemed to think Sonic was particularly interested in everything he said, so he talked the entire time. At about this time, Tails was relaying a very intriguing story to Sonic, who couldn't be bothered.
"Yeah sure, that's really interesting, Tails," Sonic said as he continued sweeping. "I thought we were supposed to help Rotor build something, not clean his fucking workshop out." Tails just looked over at him and shrugged his shoulders. "A lot of help you are." Sally walked into the warehouse and smiled at both of them.
"That's what I like to see, my two boys playing nice."
"What the fuck?"
"Sonic, your language."
"Oh yeah, must have slipped my mind," he replied, leaning on his broom. "Anyway, what's the deal with this shit? I'm a lot of things, Sally, but a janitor ain't one of them."
"Don't worry about it, Sonic, we are changing up after lunch. Which is why I came by, it's time to go to lunch, guys."
"Oh goody!" Tails exclaimed, dropping his broom and flying over to Sally. "Let's go Auntie Sally."
"Goody?" Sonic mocked, shaking his head. Sally grabbed his arm and pulled him to the picnic they had setup outside. Bunnie and Rotor were already sitting on the grass, waiting for Antoine to come over with the picnic baskets. Sally sat down, and pulled Sonic down with her.
"Easy on the goods, darling," Sonic said after he hit the ground. "So Rotor, how's your shit coming along?"
"My shit is coming along nicely," Rotor replied. "I sent that bug out, so we should hear something back late tonight."
"Uh huh, zis better work, no?" Antoine asked, sitting down.
"How can you always turn a statement into a question?" Sonic asked. "I'm just about to eat some lunch, no? I guess it really isn't that hard. So where's the Nazi, not joining in the festivities? Is he too busy fixing our showers?"
"Sonic, he's not a Nazi. Quentin can't be here because he has to run the hospital, you never know when something could go wrong," Sally answered. The mere mentioning of Quack's first name brought stifled chuckles from Sonic, Rotor, and Antoine. "Oh grow up already. Now, to shift gears a little bit, I just want to get something out in the open."
"We all know you're a closet lesbian, and it's cool with me," Sonic quipped.
"Oh, the funnyman had something witty to say, did he? No, that's not what I want to talk about. I've noticed a rift between some of us, and I just want everyone to get along. Take for example, Sonic. He pretty much has conflict with everyone here, with the exception of Bunnie and Knuckles. Well, and we've been getting along quite a bit better recently."
"He is ze foul-mouthed chucklehead, huh huh," Antoine put in.
"Oh I'm the chucklehead? You're the fuckin dumbass who wears a shirt but no pants. How fucked up is that? When you open your Boone's Farm do you sniff ze cork?"
"I do not drink ze Boone's Farm, zat is like drinking ze piss," Antoine scoffed, turning his head away in disgust.
"Oh, you don't drink piss? Sorry, that's news to me." Sonic shrugged his shoulders.
"Do you see what I mean? You guys don't have to be best friends, but you have to at least trust each other," Sally said. "Now, we are going to all work together for as long as it takes for all of us to get along."
"Well, Hun, they might kill each other before that happens," Bunnie observed.
"Bunnie and I get along with everybody, rarely any exceptions. Tails does as well for the most part…actually now that I think about it, it's just Sonic."
"Before you point your finger you should know that I'm the man. If I'm the fuckin man, then you're the fuckin man as well. So you can point that fuckin finger up your ass!"
"What's the matter smartass, don't know any Shakespeare?" Sally asked.
"Fetch me my long sword, ho. How's that for Shakespeare?"
"So what's your point, Sonic?
"I don't know, I just thought that fit really swell right there."
"Well you did bring up a valid point, we shouldn't be pointing fingers. Let's just try and get along, okay?"
"I think we can do it, Sugar. We should all collaborate on an inspirational song," Bunnie suggested.
"Uh no, let's not do that," Sonic said.
"No, huh huh," Antoine agreed.
"To be honest, I don't want to hear any of you sing," Rotor responded. "No offense of course."
"At least you got them all to agree on something, Bunnie," Sally said. "Anyway, I just want you guys to think about it. Now let's have some lunch."