A/N: Huh. The amount of writing one can accomplish during an eight hour shift at work is quite astounding. I finished out the entire chapter in about five hours, and was editing for the rest of the time. I hope I did well! And I hope the fourth chapter comes as quickly as the third one did for me. Please leave a review to tell me what you think, I'd highly appreciate it!
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Criminal Minds.
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As the elevator doors closed before him and the cart gave a small jerk to ascend to the ninth floor, Reid took in a deep breath, leaning back against the pale interior wall, eyes closed. Fingers coiled around a heated cup of coffee, his free hand adjusted the strap of his bag. It dug uncomfortably into his shoulder, the weight of the enormous pile of completed case reports not helping matters.
Wishing to be productive and for an empty inbox the next morning, he had taken it upon himself to bring home the files he failed to finish at work. He had initially frowned upon seeing the amount he had to pack; he had been sure it wasn't that many reports, last time he checked. However, a quick glance over to Elle and Morgan's less than half-filled inboxes had given him the answer. He had internally rolled his eyes, saying nothing to his coworkers as he packed the reports into his bag for the night, catching the none-too discreet grin of triumph on Morgan's face.
By the time he had placed the last finished file into his bag, it had been well into the early hours of the morning. He had given up on the prospect of achieving a decent amount of sleep that night, and opted to curl up on his couch and read the entirety of War and Peace. Twice.
He was regretting that decision now.
The elevator chimed upon reaching his floor. Reid peeled his eyes opened and pushed off the wall to exit the cart, taking a cautious sip of coffee as he went. In a few strides he made it to the glass doors, nodding in thanks to an agent holding it open for him.
He walked in and immediately froze.
"Hey, it's the birthday boy!" Morgan announced with a happy grin, catching the attention of JJ and Elle, who were conversing next to Reid's desk. The two women smiled at his tentative approach, watching as he gaped at the large cake on his desk, multiple blazing candles strewn around one corner of the chocolate surface.
Reid's heart stuttered as what Morgan said sunk in: today was his birthday. His shock quickly morphed into perplexed comprehension and emotion swelled in his chest as he smiled back, baffled, at his coworkers, glancing between them and the cake in disbelief.
JJ was the first to approach him, her arms opening slightly almost in question. Catching on, Reid flashed her a small, reassuring smile and met her in a hug. This contact was much more intimate than he was used to, and he felt incredibly awkward and unsure in JJ's embrace, but the woman only stroked her hand down his upper back briefly before pulling away, beaming.
"Happy birthday, Spence," she said.
"Thanks," he muttered, his face heating up as he stepped away from her. He looked over to the flaming cake, still overwhelmed with bemused awe at his friends' actions. "Oh wow, I actually forgot it was my birthday today!"
"What? The great, all-knowing brain of Doctor Spencer Reid managed to forget he turns one year older today?" Morgan gasped, pressing an open palm to his chest in mock-horror. "Be still, my beating heart."
"Ha, ha, ha," Reid sarcastically answered, but lacked true scorn, smiling back at his friend, especially when Elle smacked Morgan's arm in his defense before she walked over to offer Reid her own hug. Over Elle's shoulder, he met Morgan's eyes, glimmering with mirth. "This is so great, you guys. Thank you."
Elle patted his shoulder as she pulled away. "It's nothing, Reid. Now, we won't put you through a horrible rendition of a birthday song, but you still gotta blow out the candles."
"And!" Morgan cut in abruptly, whipping out the most horrendous looking thing resembling a hat that Reid had ever seen out of his desk drawer. "You have to do it wearing this. Courtesy of Garcia."
Reid blanched. "You know, on second thought, I think I actually needed to get to Hotch's-"
"Uh-uh, no backing out of this one, kid," Morgan interrupted, happily placing a firm hand on Reid's shoulder and leading him to his desk. Sitting Reid down, Morgan smacked Reid's hands away from his vain attempts to remove the offending article, and JJ and Elle merely laughed at the display, making no move to answer to Reid's weak protests. Traitors.
Reid frowned, both with exasperation and light humiliation, glaring at the bright blue brim of Garcia's cartoon, plush, Happy Birthday hat above him. Morgan chuckled, patting the top of the hat affectionately.
"C'mon, blow out the candles before they melt into puddles of wax," Morgan urged.
"Make a wish," Elle encouraged, appearing by Reid's side.
Rolling his eyes at the ridicule he was being placed under, Reid went straight for blowing out the candles, the force of his breath sending wisps of gray smoke into the air as the fires extinguished. Just as he thought they were out, however, they came back on, the flames fluttering just as strongly as they had been before. He blew once more, harder this time, only to achieve the same result. They kept relighting themselves. Wildly confused and partially giddy with the excitement equivalent to that of a child's, he kept on.
"Come on, man! Blow, baby, blow!" Morgan cheered, hand on Reid's upper back.
"I thought you were full of hot air, Reid," Elle said, joining in on the ribbing.
"Come on, Reid!" Morgan exclaimed, his voice shaking and higher in pitch from restraining his own bout of laughter.
Seeming to take pity on Reid's bewilderment, JJ cut in, "They're trick candles, Spence. Okay? They're gonna-They're gonna come back on every time."
That didn't stop Reid from once more harshly blowing at the candles, sitting back with amusement and a slightly dizzy head. Morgan jokingly cooed over him, grabbing the rims of his hat and bobbing his head lightly.
"Awww, mommy to the rescue!" he teased.
Reid frowned, turning to glance at Morgan over his shoulder. "Mommy?"
"Ignore him," Elle huffed, shaking her head at Morgan's antics.
Voice thick with ill-restrained hilarity, Morgan lowered himself to Reid's level and got the younger man's attention. "Hey Reid? Does this make you legal yet?"
"Oh, very funny," Reid muttered, face flushed.
"Hope you like chocolate," Elle said, moving forward.
"Oh, look. You blew wax on the cake, man," Morgan noted, inclining to grab a fork to wipe away the colorful, hardened wax from the frosting.
By now Reid became uncomfortably aware that JJ and Elle were flanking at his sides, leaning over Reid to grab at the utensils next to the now put-out cake. And behind him, he could feel Morgan lightly pressed up against his head. Reid's fingers twitched on his thighs restlessly, his foot began tapping, his heart rate accelerated, and his muscles locked. A hug, he could stand, even enjoy. People surrounding him at every angle, much less pressed up against him... Not so much.
He finally just stood, taking care not to accidentally strike one of his teammates as he did so, and stepped away from the crowd. He took in a deep inhale, feeling the anxiety ebb away a little as the space around him increased.
Once he had returned to a sense of normalcy, he looked up and spotted Gideon leaning against the cabinets by the stairs, arms crossed over his chest. Reid made his way over, feeling the humiliation burn within him as he remembered the hat currently on his head.
"You having fun?" Gideon asked.
"Oh yeah, I'm definitely having fun," Reid answered, humored cynicism lacing his words. He was overjoyed that his teammates, his friends, had taken it upon themselves to throw him a makeshift birthday party when he himself had forgotten, that they had even remembered at all, but at the same time he felt extraordinarily exposed and a little uncomfortable for the fuss.
"You make a wish?"
Glancing up at the bright-blue brim, Reid tried hopefully, "Can I take this hat off?"
Lower lip jutting out thoughtfully, dark eyes swimming with humor, Gideon said, "I wouldn't."
"Hey Spence!"
Reid looked up and met eyes with JJ, who was holding a plate containing a thick slice of chocolate cake. As Reid answered her call, she smiled brightly, hoisting the plate up higher. "First slice for the birthday boy!"
Reid breathed out a chuckle, turning back to Gideon momentarily. "You know she's the only person in the world who calls me Spence?"
Without waiting for Gideon's response, he turned and walked back toward the party, allowing Morgan to once again grab his shoulder and place him back in his chair. Huffing at his friend, he turned to JJ, who handed him the plate she had been displaying, as well as a fork. Grinning, he thanked her, and went to take a bite of the cake.
At that moment, Hotch appeared, looking grim.
"Sorry, guys. Party's over," he said,walking around the landing toward the elevators. "Unfortunately, we've caught a case in San Diego. We brief on the jet in ten minutes."
The party atmosphere died down pretty fast after that. Each with a saddened grimace, Elle and JJ bade Reid a final "happy birthday" before they turned to follow Hotch out of the bullpen, JJ grazing her hand on Reid's shoulder as she went. Reid thinly smiled, taking off the accursed hat. He bent to grab his bags from the space underneath his desk.
"Bad luck, kid."
Reid glanced up from his task to meet Morgan's brown eyes looking regretfully down at him, his go-bag hoisted over his shoulder. Morgan smiled softly as Reid raised himself upright, his satchel clutched in one fist and his go-bag in the other.
"We'll make it up to you when we get back from the case. Go out or something," Morgan insisted.
Reid shook his head, quickly taking the completed files from his satchel and placing them in his outbox. He turned and beckoned Morgan to follow him, and the two men began walking to the elevator after the rest of the team, where Reid caught sight of Gideon striding toward the stairs.
"You really don't have to, this was definitely enough," Reid replied, his smile raising easily. "More than enough. I was actually surprised that you all remembered."
Morgan flashed him a quick grin. "Well, duh. Apparently, if we left it up to you, it would have completely went over our heads. I can't believe you forgot your own birthday, man."
"I was busy!"
"Yeah, I noticed the overflowing pile of case reports."
"I wanted to have it finished."
"Got time to do mine?"
Reid furrowed his brows in exasperation, shoving at Morgan's shoulder as the other man laughed. The light banter between the two men continued all the way to the terminal, where the rest of the team had already boarded the jet. Upon approach, Morgan and Reid fell into a comfortable silence as they hurried across the landing with a quick, almost jogging pace, climbing the stairs and ducking inside. Being the last ones to board, Reid and Morgan separated to available seats close enough to the rest of the team for the briefing.
Hotch, who had already opened his report and was examining it as the two men entered, glanced up to look at Reid. A smile graced his lips as the younger man took notice of his actions. "Happy birthday, Reid. I'm sorry to pull you away from your party."
Reif waved away Hotch's apology, sitting down at his seat and accepted a case file from JJ. "Don't worry about it. Thanks."
Hotch nodded once. "Alright. Well, let's begin." He lowered his eyes to the report once more. "Brenda Samms was found yesterday by her children when they got home from school. She had been strangled with a thin ligature, possibly a wire."
"No weapon left at the scene," Elle noted.
"Residue on the wrist and mouth indicate that duct tape was used then removed," Reid added, holding up the crime scene photos of Brenda Samms' body.
"Also not found at the scene," Hotch replied.
"Brought it with him, took it with him," Elle said.
"He also started leaving messages at the fourth scene," Hotch continued, holding up a picture of red lettering found on a mirror found at the crime scene. "This was on the mirrors. Fair lady, throw those costly robes aside."
At that intro, a strong feeling of recognition awakened inside of Reid and he looked up, brows pinched together intriguingly and a prod of familiarity forming inside his mind. He had heard that somewhere before.
"No longer may you glory in your pride. Take leave of all your carnal, vain delight-."
"- I've come to summon you away this night!" Reid concluded, a rush of excitement bubbling in his chest as he placed where he knew the piece from. "Uh, it's a ballad from the late 1600s. A dialogue betwixt death and a lady."
He pretended not to notice Morgan's lost expression as he threw his arms out in exasperation at this revelation.
"A 17th century ballad?" Elle questioned.
"Yeah, essentially a woman begging death to live," Reid answered.
While he was speaking, his eyes absentmindedly flickered over to where Morgan was sitting. As Reid spoke, the older man looked back down at his report with a silent scoff, shaking his head. Something churned unpleasantly inside his chest at this observance, and Reid turned and looked away, biting his lip.
"What kind of person knows this ballad?" Elle asked. "Are we looking for a literature professor?"
"Anyone with an internet connection, actually," Reid said, huffing out a breath of laughter as he continued, "You should see what come in when you type the word 'death' into a search engine."
"Reid, no wonder you can't get a date!"
Reid knew that this was meant to be a joke, a teasing little jibe between friends. The rational part of his mind recognized this and he knew that Morgan truly meant no harm. But the other part of his mind, the part that wouldn't stop sending him reminders that it was Morgan that was saying this, registered this as almost a personal attack. It caused a dull ache to throb hopelessly in the pit of his stomach and his already thin smile faltered.
"Reid, you stay on the messages. See if there's a deeper meaning," Gideon suggested.
Moving on, Morgan pointed out, "Well, it definitely looked like he ransacked the crime scene pretty well."
"A lot of damage, nothing taken," Hotch added.
"The eyes are the thing, the signature," Gideon put in. "The behavior that isn't necessary for the murder, but necessary for the emotional release. That's what he's here for."
"There used to be a widely held belief that the eyes record a snapshot of the last thing a person sees before they die," Reid offered.
"Yeah, that's right, people used to write poems about talking to death," Morgan contributed.
"... Ballads," Reid said, unable to help himself.
Morgan sighed and rolled his eyes. "Whatever."
Reid gave an invisible flinch at what he interpreted as hostility leaking into Morgan's voice. As soon as he thought that, however, he felt angry with himself; he had endured years of peers' frustration because of his extensive knowledge, and it should have gotten to the point where by now it shouldn't even bother him. But it still did, and it still stung, hurt blooming inside him as he averted his eyes away from Morgan once more.
"You think they'll ever run out of new things to do to their victims?" Elle asked, staring down at the picture of the ballad verse left on Brenda's wall.
"Well, finding new ways to hurt each other is what we're good at," Gideon said, his dark eyes flitting towards Reid, light suspicion in his eyes. Reid looked away quickly, unwilling to meet the piercing gaze of the elder profiler. The briefing concluded, Reid closed his file and slipped it into his bag, ignoring the chilling sensation of being watched from two separate angles.
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The days went by. Reid's birthday came and went with little to no thought from the youngest team member; he hardly felt the need to concern himself with the new-found age of twenty-four, focusing instead on the case and the progression of capturing the Tommy Killer, Franklin Graney. He had almost forgotten about his birthday entirely, until Gideon pulled out a carefully wrapped present on the jet ride home.
"Forgot to give it to you at the party," Gideon said, handing the gift to Reid.
Slightly stunned, Reid unwrapped the present to reveal a small box containing two tickets. He smiled politely, taking the tickets out of the box. "Wow. The Red Skins."
"It's a VIP box."
"Wow," Reid murmured, examining the tickets. "Thank you so much."
"Ever been to a pro football game?"
Reid huffed out a laugh as his unasked question was answered. "No. I honestly didn't even know this was football."
Gideon chuckled fondly. "You're gonna love it."
His mouth protruding in a questioning pout, Reid looked up from the tickets to face his mentor. "We are. You're coming with me, right?" The confused smile on his face gradually fell as Gideon shook his head.
"No. I actually had someone else in mind for you to bring along to the game," Gideon said, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees.
With this statement, the atmosphere around the two men rapidly took a serious turn, leaving behind an air of apprehension. Reid lightly began chewing on his bottom lip as Gideon paused for a moment, a contemplative expression coming across his worn face. Reid made to open his mouth to ask Gideon just who he was recommending, but came to an abrupt halt as Gideon's eyes flickered, locking onto Reid's own hazel orbs.
In a low mutter, Gideon spoke, "Tell me, Spencer... How long have you and Agent Morgan been involved with one another?"
The reaction was immediate. The blood within Reid's veins turned cold, draining from his limbs as it rushed to compensate for his suddenly accelerating heart, pulsing frantically within the confines of his ribcage. His pulse was everywhere, a stuttering, racing beat that overtook his senses, blood and heat and cold throbbing inside Reid's ears. The small gasp that escaped his lungs swept dryness across his mouth, his tongue feeling hard and foreign as he struggled furiously to form words. His mind, usually so quick with an answer, was completely blank in his panic. He stammered, unable to decide whether to answer the question, to deny it, to spout a random fact, to say or do something other than just gawk at his expectant superior like an idiot.
"... I..." Reid choked out, shaking his head minutely. "I-I don't, uh.. I-"
He gave a small start as Gideon raised his hand to stop him, flinching out of his petrified state.
"Don't try to lie to me, Spencer," Gideon said lowly, the edges of his eyes crinkling as he gave a taut smile.
Reid gaped for a moment longer before letting out a sharp exhale, his shoulders hunching in within himself as he released the shock and gradually began taking in the impending dread. His eyes darted back down at the chessboard between them, bristles of horror and shame pricking at him from all points.
"... H-How did you find out?" he whispered, ducking even further to hide behind his fallen fringe.
"I'm good at my job, Spencer," Gideon replied easily, a gentle smoothness sneaking into his voice. "The fact that I've been away from the field for six months hasn't changed that."
Reid found himself unwilling to answer to that and shrunk further back into his chair.
"So how long?"
Swallowing thickly, Reid moistened his lips and croaked, "Ten months, three weeks, and four days."
Gideon nodded slowly, finally taking his eyes away from Reid and looking back down at the chessboard. Deep in thought, he quietly moved a rook to his desired place, all while Reid waited, worrying his inner lip and trembling in anticipation as he waited for his supervisor to speak.
Keeping his head down, his eyes fixated on the board, Gideon muttered, "It seems like a pretty long time to keep it hidden."
Reid shifted, hesitantly reaching out and sliding a pawn forward. "We had to. It would have been frowned upon, seeing as fraternization between employees within the bureau have-"
"I wasn't talking about you and Morgan," Gideon cut in, looking back up at Reid.
Taken aback by the firm interruption and by his apparent misinterpretation, Reid softly cleared his throat. "Then what- then what were you talking about?"
The game of chess abandoned for the time being, Gideon shifted the board off to one side of the table, leaning his arms against the surface, hands clasped in front of him. After making sure Reid was listening carefully and not avoiding his gaze, Gideon said, "I'm talking about your feelings for him."
Reid's chest felt like it had been punched. Hard. His lungs, already having suffered from the shock of before, felt like they were once more empty of all air, leaving him breathless. Had it been anyone else telling him this, he would have already been denying it by now, albeit probably not very convincingly, but denying it nonetheless. But it was Gideon, who knew him all too well, and Reid felt the quivering walls he held up within him for the last year crumble to dust as his hazel eyes narrowed and closed in defeat.
He was tired. He had been fighting it for so long, lying to himself for so long. He shoved his personal longing and desires off to one side, ignoring what he truly wanted for the sake of maintaining this relationship, or lack thereof, with Morgan. It was all he felt now, and all he couldn't feel, shouldn't feel.
Reid shook his head. "Gideon, it's... It's not like that."
"But you want it to be," Gideon urged softly.
Reid looked out the window of the jet, observing the darkening sky and the pink clouds around them. The sun's beams glared at the horizon, stretching streams of orange and yellow as it began to set.
"Maybe," Reid admitted quietly. "But it doesn't matter what I want. It's not like that. And it won't ever be."
He surprised himself with the sudden, broken conviction that slipped into his voice at those last words, and by the sharp incline of Gideon's brow, the elder man was as well. Roughly clearing his throat once more, blinking rapidly and giving a delicate sniff, Reid held up the tickets that were still in his hand.
"Thank you for the gift, Gideon," he said, beginning to hand them back. "But I can't use them how you want me to, I'm sorry."
Gideon made no move to take back the tickets. He maintained his position, eyeing Reid closely.
"This is no way to live, Spencer," Gideon said, shaking his head almost sorrowfully. "You shouldn't do this to yourself."
"I don't know if I can stop," Reid whispered, placing the tickets on the table and crossing his arms over his chest, clenching his hands into fists. "I don't know what to do."
"You can start by talking to Morgan," Gideon said, palms upward in suggestion. "Take it from someone with a failed relationship in his past, lack of communication between two people, whether they are together or whether they are just friends, ruins things faster than any conversation topic would. It's worth the risk."
The thought alone of speaking to Morgan about his increasingly less-than-platonic feelings towards the man was enough to send a jump start to Reid's heart, his chest constricting terribly. He shook his head remorsefully. "I don't think I'm ready for that."
Gideon pursed his lips together. "Well. See that you at least try to consider that possibility, and soon. I don't want to see you getting hurt, Spencer."
Reid smiled at this, though his lips still felt tight.
"Now," Gideon said, his demeanor changing swiftly as he leaned back in his chair, gesturing toward the tickets between them. "Though I was hoping you'd agree to my first suggestion to who should join you at the game, I will admit I also considered the possibility that you wouldn't. That's why I propose for someone else to join you."
Reid furrowed his brows and asked, "Who?"
"The only person in the world to call you 'Spence,'" Gideon answered easily, smiling warmly.
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End of chapter three! Gideon knows! I hope the conversation between Gideon and Reid was more believable in this version of the story. I tried to maintain their friendship as close to canon as possible, what with Gideon looking out for Reid's personal interests, and Reid's fear of perhaps disappointing his mentor. There will be more of that coming up in later chapters, though Gideon's involvement between the relationship of Morgan and Reid will remain more or less as sticking to the background.
I'm debating whether or not I should include the aftermath of the Red Skins game. JJ and Reid's friendship is something I really do want to elaborate on, since it's so important to the both of them in later seasons. We'll see how that goes. If you guys have any suggestions or ideas that you'd like to see explored in this story, please let me know! Hope you all are enjoying it so far!