"Because Riza, because.." he stuttered.

"Roy, I wish you would just stop all this, the pretending, please." She said desperately.

"Listen to me Riza," he said grasping her shoulders, "I didn't want you to be stuck with a military dog, that's why I stopped writing. I didn't want to make you stay back, hold you on to the life you want to leave, waiting for me. I didn't want that for you. You don't deserve that. It wasn't a matter of what I wanted, its just what I thought was for the best. I was hoping you would find someone and be happy. That you wouldn't be burdened with yet another thing."

"Well I didn't find someone, did you?" she asked.

"Would I be saying all these things if I had? Riza, I don't want anyone else. But if you had found someone I would be happy for you and wouldn't interfere. But I realize now that I can't stay away from you, no matter how much I try. I hoped if I stopped writing it could help me stay away. But all I can do now is ask for another chance. I promise, I will work less and I'll be here for you no matter what it takes. I almost lost you once, Riza; I don't want to mess up again. Okay? I'm going to fix this, I promise, I'm going to fix this…" he said as he pulled her closer to him, wrapping his arms around her tightly. He was holding her so tight, as if, if he let go of her he would loss her again, forever this time. He probably thought that was the case.

"Lets go back to the way it was," he mumbled against the crock of her neck. They were so close, Riza could smell him, feel his muscular body against hers. She closed her eyes and leaned against him, it felt so good, he felt so good. Could they really go back? Was it really that simple?

"Riza I'm so sorry."

Then she realized what he had just said, work less? No matter what it takes? What was she doing, she had tried to let him go so she wouldn't become a distraction and look what is happening! She was becoming just that, her task was to teach him flame alchemy, and only that, if this went on he would forget his way, worry too much about her and not enough about himself. She couldn't, wouldn't let that happen. His dream was to learn flame alchemy and he was forgetting that.

"Roy, Roy please," she said as she prided his arms off her, feeling his warmth leave her body. He looked at her, smiling warmly and she felt her heart drop. She had always known his goal clearly, but now, she didn't know what to do. She wanted him, cared about him, but if she allowed him to return those feelings she would be getting in the way of his number one goal. What was she suppose to do? How could she push him away when she cared about him so much still?

He had determination and will, and she had nothing but a tattoo on her back to help him. How could they possibly work? How could it ever be equal? How could she ever catch up? She couldn't. Riza looked at his smiling face, at the man that was so willing to do anything to be with her. She had to end this or all she would do is get in his way. Riza loved him, but she knew if she truly did she would have to do this.

"I can't," her voice cracking.

"What?" he said softly, stepping back slightly.

"I can't," she repeated, "I can't do this Roy."

His face was like stone but looking into his eyes she could see how those few words had affected him, and she hated that she had caused him to look like he did. "Was… was it something I did?"

"No, no you didn't do anything," was all she could muster.

"Then Riza tell me what it is, please," he pleaded, grabbing her forearms, "We can still make this work."

"Please Roy, don't make me say anything else about this," pulling away from him, "Please try to understand how much it hurts me to say these things."

"Riza... please.." he said, as she backed away from him.

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry," she said before opening the door and walking out.

The next few days after that consisted of Roy studying and only studying. It seemed like him and Riza had become like strangers. He was hurt that she didn't trust him but also understood, since he hadn't given her much of a reason to. She had trusted him once and he blew it, now he didn't know if things would ever be ok. After all of the memories they had made, hugs they had shared, Roy never thought it would come to this, that the distance between him and her would become so drastic, and he couldn't do anything about it.

Finally after a few days, he couldn't take the silence between them any longer and got a jolt of courage, "Riza,"

"Hmmm?" she replied, her tone made it seem like she was dozing off as he studied her tattoo.

"Can I touch you?" he asked, when he saw the muscles of her back tighten he quickly changed his wording, "I meant your tattoo, it might be easier if I was able to trace the workings of it."

Part of that was true, he did find it easier to trace something he was studying, but he also just wanted something, anything to connect him and her, to know she was still there, no matter how distant she was.

She looked at him for a second then nodded slightly. He smoothed his fingers down the small of her back, making his way back up her spine. Her skin was smooth and warm but also extremely tight. She was tensing under his touch. Out of this whole thing Roy took that the hardest, that after everything, she didn't even want him touching her or feel comfortable around him. If he had any idea how badly he would hurt her he would have never done what he did, he really did think it was better for him to stay away. But know he realized how badly he had messed up; he couldn't stay away now and had never wanted to. Now it seems just when this could have worked, their timing could finally be right, she seemed to want nothing more but for him to be done and leave. And with what great timing he has, he decides now to realize just how much he cares for her. To see her burdened with such a massive thing so young, to see her hurt, made him finally realize how much it effected him when she was unhappy.

He knew all these things and that's why he couldn't keep his mouth shut. He had to at least try to mend their broken bond, Roy knew Riza didn't want to talk to him, but he knew no matter how much it was damaged the bond between them was still there, and Roy couldn't just ignore it.

"Riza," he started, having no idea how he was going to keep the conversation going. He didn't know what he could say to fix things.

"What is it?" she asked, turning her head slightly looking more curious then cold.

"Riza," he repeated, he rarely was at a loss for words especially around her, but in that every moment he had no idea what he was going to say, or should say.

"Riza I— I'm just so sorry about everything that's happened," he said, his speech coming out choppy and uneven.

Now it was Riza's turn to be at a loss for words. She knew he was sorry, she knew he never meant to hurt her, but still…

"I know that already Roy"

" Then why cant you trust me, why cant you ever take a risk every once and a while. Hell, It wouldn't even be a risk, because if you ever gave me another chance, Riza, I would do everything in my power to protect you and make you happy. Why can't you believe that? Why can't you accept that I care about you?"

It seemed to be just another rerun of so many other times when he had said so many things and she had trusted him. Now. She didn't know what to believe, so she decided to stay silent.

"Riza, please talk to me," he said followed by silence, "please say something," his tone becoming desperate. Riza collected her thoughts and once everything was in order she began to speak.

"You can't do that Roy, you can't take care of me and go on with your ideas, just listen to yourself, whatever it takes? Stop saying things, making promises you can't keep. Its cruel and I don't want to hear it. Once you get this alchemy, this secret I hold, you are going to leave here just like you did last time, except now you wont have a reason to come back. So you wont, you'll pack up your bags and return to the military life where you'll get wrapped up in other things and forget all about me. In the past I had believed in you and I'm not going to make that mistake again. I can give you flame alchemy Roy, but that's it."

When she finished she realized she was crying, why was she crying? Her words had been strong but she was still so weak. Why couldn't she control her emotions? She had been so good at it before. So why not know? Why did she still care about him? Riza hadn't cried when her father died, maybe it was because she knew it was only a matter of time. Or maybe it was because her father had left her because he had to, while Roy left because he wanted to.

"I can't get attached to someone who's not going to be there, you cant be there, Roy you cant worry about me when there are so many great things you want to accomplish," she took a breath, it became hard to talk when the few tears became sobbing. Her bare shoulders began to shake violently. Roy watched her, wanted to take her into his arms wrap them around her and make it all better, but he didn't know if she would accept or become angered by his embrace, she had pulled away the last time. Finally he decided to take his chances and touched her shoulder softly, he couldn't stand to just watch her cry. She looked up from her hands and turning to him fully, and got up from the couch she was sitting on to where Roy sat on the floor before her and slowly sat down next to him. He pulled her to him and she didn't fight it any longer, she wanted to feel his warmth and be comforted by it. Her tears were beginning to wet his shirt, which she was fisting in her hands. He pulled her even closer and she squired in discomfort from her position, leading Roy to then pick her up slightly and sit her down on his lap, causing her to straddle him. She wrapped her arms around his neck crying into his shoulder.

The blond didn't know why she was accepting the exact thing she was pushing away a few days ago, a few minutes ago really. But now that she was in this position she didn't want to push away, no matter how much her head told her to. Roy wanted this and so did she. Maybe Roy was right maybe they could make this work somehow.

Roy was hesitant at first to embrace her in the new position, not because he didn't want to it was just because he was shocked, she said one thing and did another. He was confused and upset by what she had said and he had to know why she thought such things. "Is that really what you think of me? Do you really think I would do that to you, Riza?" he asked, his voice was quiet and sad.

"I don't know what to think anymore, my head is going in so many different directions. But I do know I care about you Roy and that's not going to change. maybe somehow we can find out a way for me to help in your ideas where I wont get in the way."

"Riza, you will never be in my way if anything I need you," he said.

"I want to believe in that Roy, I want to trust you."

"You can believe in me, everything I said to you was genuine. I want to take care of you Riza, to make you happy," and he meant it.

And with that Roy wrapped his arms around her bare waist, feeling the curves of her hips, pulling her to him. She wanted him and he wanted her, maybe this once she should to let go, take her chances and not be cautious. This once she could give in to what she truly wanted.

She pulled away slightly and Roy worried he had again upset her somehow, but her expression was warm and so was her smile. She ran one hand down his hard, square jaw line, while the other ran through his straight black hair. He held back a moan when her fingers began to massage the back of his neck.

"Oh, Riza," the young man said laying his head down on her shoulder, pulling her even closer. He wanted this, her so badly. She had been his friend in this lonely house, she was loyal and funny and compassionate and beautiful and he had never felt this way about another human being in his whole life and he doubted he would feel the same way with anyone else.