WOW! chappie 3! Okay, I'm gunna warn you right now, there's some vulgar language here at the beginning -I don't just mean profanity. That doesn't worry me: this is rated R for a reason. But there is some really MEAN, nasty stuff. NONE OF IT reflects my views. Its just characterization of someone that nobody is supposed to like. :)
On another note, I'm keeping these chapters kinda short because I'd rather keep feeding this in little pieces to you readers every day or two, than make you wait a long time for a big long chapter that takes me days and days and days to write. . So little bits. I'm still writing and the ideas just keep expanding so have at it peoples! ;)
A reminder, this IS YAOI. DUn like it, run away screaming homophobes! (hehe, Im' mean. :) )
OKAY!
Chapter 3 Be Careful what you Say
Cloud was still smiling rather stupidly down at Sephiroth when there was a quick knock at the door. His eyes widened in surprise, and both men turned to look at the offending door, just as it opened, their visitor not bothering to wait until he was bidden inside.
"Mr. Strife, I saw you with all of that food and I thought that you might want some--" The innkeeper froze, wide eyed as he finally stepped inside, and saw that his patron was not alone. Cloud and Sephiroth were frozen, still sprawled together in the bed, Cloud's face poised only inches from Sephiroth's. It was a very awkward moment. The inn keeps face was slowly turning a blueish-purple as he stared. When he opened his mouth, no kind words came out. "Sweet fucking planet! What sort of girlie-assed fags am I keeping here?!" Sephiroth's face darkened noticeably. "Man, if I'd 'a known you were some perverted she-male I wouldn't 'a given you such a fucking good deal!" He was on a roll now and didn't notice the storm clouds that seemed to be forming in the room right above Sephiroth's head. He and Cloud had separated by now, and Cloud stood at the foot of the bed in shock while Sephiroth sat up, keeping his modesty with only the light sheets pooled around his hips. "Well, that explains what the fuck you were up to all the time with this Fucker… I knew you looked like the queer type… And YOU." The innkeeper turned to Sephiroth, still not noticing the malice shining brightly behind mako-green eyes. "Damn, I thought you were some little 'ol lady!" Sephiroth frowned. "Seems' I was wrong!" The innkeeper laughed dryly, looking at Sephiroth over his nose with a disgusted look. Cloud was starting to look angry now, too. He could take the insults. He couldn't take the insults against Sephiroth. He'd just heard too many in the last six years. "I suppose you think you're pretty hot stuff, don't'cha, pretty boy?" Sephiroth's eyes narrowed and he stood, the sheets falling away from his body to leaving him standing nude in all his six-foot-one glory. It was only out of sheer stupidity and arrogance that the innkeeper wasn't terrified by the menacing glare. "WHOA!" The squat, ugly little man, greasy and sagging in his mid to late fourties, balding and loud, was everything Sephiroth was not. Unfortunately, that didn't do him a bit of good at the moment. He just kept on going. "Damn! It's a fuckin' shame that yer so damned well equipped!" He said, eyeing Sephiroth head to toe. "Queers like you don't deserve such gifts. Cut yer hair and go find a good cunt, why don'tcha?" Sephiroth snapped, and with a snarl, closed the distance between him and the pungent little man, catching him by the collar and lifting him clear off the floor, slamming him into the door, forcing it shut as he did so.
"What are you going to do if I don't want to?" Sephiroth said, voice low and cold. This was him: Sephiroth. Who he was, who he was made to be. Cold, harsh, unforgiving, brutal. He increased his pressure, pushing the man hard enough into the heavy old door that it creaked in complaint. "You know…" He went on, voice even darker. "You ought to clean up the way you talk." He gave another push. "You never know who you might insult…"
Cloud, who'd been frozen in shock, suddenly reanimated himself into terror. "Seph! Don't!" He had this horrible feeling that Sephiroth was brought back for a reason, but that it would be in vain if he didn't stop what was happening.
"Yeah, Seph. Stop it." The innkeeper sneered. Sephiroth growled.
"Cloud, stay out of this."
"Hah! Oh, that's fresh! The little queer goes by 'Cloud'! How perfect!" The blood in Sephiroth's temples started to pound: all he could see was red. The blood in his veins burned and he swore that this man would not walk away, now. He started to cast around for anything he could find that might help in killing him.
"Seph!" Cloud went on, desperate to reach him. "Stop it! This CAN'T happen!" Sephiroth ignored him. He was weak: very weak, but he had this blood lust that had to be satiated. He couldn't stop. "You can't kill! You have too much blood on your hands already!" Sephiroth slowed down just a little, but had just found Cloud's buster sword hidden in a corner, and was stalking back towards the innkeeper, eyes hazy and glowing sharply. Cloud gave up on being nice. "SEPHIROTH, STOP!" He screamed, slapping the much taller man across the face as hard as he could. Sephiroth froze, his eyes clearing into surprise. Below him, the innkeeper recognized the name, and had suddenly found the fear that he should have a very long time ago.
"S-s…Se-Sephiroth? …Th-the ShinRa General…?" He whimpered brokenly, wide-eyed. "But He died over a d-decade ago!" Sephiroth grunted, dropping Cloud's sword to glare down at the greasy man.
"Do I look dead to you?" He said darkly. The innkeeper shook his head, speechless. "Good. Get the fuck out of here and leave us alone." He finished, opening the door and shoving the little man out so firmly that he collided with the opposite hall wall, and collapsed in a heap on the floor. He slammed and locked the door, and turned on Cloud darkly. "You hit me." Cloud was terrified, but he forced that down, making himself be brave.
"You wouldn't listen. And you were going to kill that man." He said, hoping to hell his voice wouldn't shake.
"So what?" Sephiroth went on, his voice still low with anger. Cloud's throat closed. He didn't want any conflict with Sephiroth, for several reasons.
"Sephiroth…You can't kill any more. You were given a second chance, a chance to live and maybe even atone for the past, but that won't happen if you keep on killing." Much to Cloud's relief, Sephiroth's face softened a little. "I know it's the only thing you know: anger and pain, but this is your chance to learn new things as well, but in order to do so, you have to cast the hate away or it'll poison you from the inside out …" Cloud cast his eyes down, his own pain welling up. "…like last time…" He looked up to see Sephiroth half-turned away, eyes on the floor, brows furrowed, lips drawn tight. "…Sephiroth?" Sephiroth turned on him, eyes bright with pain.
"How can I do that, Cloud? How can I ever make up for all that I've already done? How can I change who I am when I was literally made to be this way! I was not a child born of a mother, Cloud, I'm a thing, another toy soldier built and made to be played with by maniacs. I know nothing of love, or happiness, or even freedom. Perhaps I do have a chance to feel these things, but I don't even know how! So I'm free now. Where do I go? What do I do? I am a thing of steel and fire: cold and destructive, designed to kill. There is nowhere for me to go. Nothing the world can give me…." He trailed off, lost in despair. Cloud's heart, in the meantime, had broken in two. He rushed to Sephiroth's side, embracing him as warmly as he could.
"Sephiroth! Let me help you! Let me show you. Maybe I'm no better, but we can try, can't we? Nothing can be worse than what little you have right now. I don't know how much of that I can give you, but I'll give you as much as I can. I promise." His face was wet. Cloud didn't know when he had started to cry, but he had been for quite some time by how wet his face was. Sephiroth turned to him, startled, and looked hard into Cloud's tear-blurred eyes.
"Cloud…?"
"If nothing else, Sephiroth, I can give you love. I love you with every part of my being and that has never changed, nor will it ever." Cloud said quickly, feeling a little panicked. Sephiroth quelled that quickly as he turned, hugging Cloud to him as firmly as he could, crushing the smaller body against him as if it were his only lifeline.
"Cloud… All I've done to you, and still, all you do is keep on giving and giving and giving…. How do you do it, Cloud? How can you love…ME? I'm a monster…"
"You are NOT a monster!" Cloud cried, something flaring inside of him. "Jenova's a monster, HOJO'S a monster! Anyone who'd take a baby from his mother and subject him to such cruelty all his miserable life is a monster! You are a man with a dark past, Sephiroth, but you are NOT A MONSTER!" Sephiroth gasped as Cloud looked up, blue eyes fierce, daring him to challenge his words.
"Cloud…" Cloud cut him off, kissing him fiercely, with more passion and strength than he ever thought he'd dare. He pulled back to look up into Sephiroth's eyes again. They were glassy but warm, and Sephiroth was smiling down at him softly. "Cloud… I don't think I deserve it, but I'll take whatever help you're willing to give me." Cloud leaned into him, and then started, pulling back.
"You're shaking!" He accused with a frown. "Get some rest or we'll never be able to leave!"
"How do you know I don't want to stay here?" Sephiroth countered, even as he sank back into bed.
"Do you?"
"No."
"Then rest up so we can go. I don't like that greasy old man any more than you do!" Sephiroth chuckled.
"I could probably go tomorrow if we go slow…" He suggested. Cloud remained quiet for a while, poised right over Sephiroth, standing by the bed. "We're not welcome here anymore." He added into the silence. He could sense Cloud's discomfort with the entire town, somehow, and wanted to convince him to leave, if only for his own good.
"Where do we go…?" Cloud said idly after a moment.
"Show me where you live. Or anywhere if not there, I don't care." Sephiroth said easily.
"Just not Midgar." They both said in unison. Cloud turned, smiling.
"Well, at least that much is settled." He walked across the room and shut the lights off. "But for now lets just get some rest." He crept back across the room in the dark, and settled into one of the two chairs in the room, positioned squarely in the corner. He settled down into it, and used the corner of the joined walls to support himself as he leaned a little, preparing to sleep that way. Sephiroth watched him silently for a moment, not entirely understanding what was happening until Cloud leaned his head against the wall with a soft thump and shut his brightly glowing eyes. Sephiroth frowned.
"You're not going to sleep like that, are you?" He asked softly. Cloud lifted his head, looking across the darkness at him.
"Its what I've been doing every night since we got here…" Sephiroth stared. "There's nowhere else."
"You can't afford another room?" Sephiroth asked softly. He felt badly that Cloud had been sleeping in a stiff old chair up against a wall for so many nights. Cloud shook his head 'no'.
"I could, but I needed to stay here and watch after you. You were too sick and I would have never slept, worrying in another room." He said simply. Sephiroth frowned.
"You know I'm ok now…"
"Yeah."
"You could sleep in a real bed."
"I'd rather be in here. It's fine, really. Don't worry about me." Cloud said calmly. Sephiroth stayed quiet for a moment, watching Cloud, even as the blonde sighed, and tilted his head back against the wall, and shut his eyes.
"Cloud…" He began again, suddenly feeling uncertain, like he was pestering his companion.
"Yeah?" Cloud said. Sephiroth noticed that he didn't lift his head this time.
"…You…could… well, we…." He fumbled, embarrassed. "I have no problem with sharing…If you want…. There's plenty of room…" He finished finally, and waited into the silence, almost afraid of what Cloud might say to him in reply. Cloud sat up smartly, looking over at him.
"You sure?" He said. Sephiroth didn't miss the hopeful tone in his voice and smiled.
"Positive." He scooted over to one side of the bed, welcoming Cloud. "You deserve better than a cold, hard wall.
"I've had worse." Cloud stated with a small laugh, even as he crawled tentatively into bed with Sephiroth.
Cloud was trembling as he slid under the warm sheets. He was surrounded by warmth and Sephiroth's scent and presence. The heat he felt against his skin was from Sephiroth's body, which was only inches from him, at a respectful distance. It was still intimate, and Cloud's heart hammered with every even breath that was drawn through the other's lips. He lay stiffly, afraid and uncertain, and feeling very shy. He jumped a little as Sephiroth turned his head to face him.
"Relax." He said softly, sliding up close and wrapping an arm carefully around Cloud's waist. It was a careful, gentle movement, but it still made Cloud jump, his heart hammering with the slightest touch. He let out a gasp as Sephiroth leaned in a little closer so that they touched lightly, but did not object. He could not relax, either. "…Cloud, are you alright? …Should I…"
"No. I'm fine, really…I'm just…" Cloud cut him off, his own voice trembling. "This is so surreal… so…. I dreamed of things like this, but I could never bear to imagine what it would be like…Its almost overwhelming." Sephiroth smiled in the darkness, and pulled Cloud the rest of the minor distance between them to him. Cloud gasped again, but then let out a sigh, resting his head under Sephiroth's chin, nuzzling his chest lightly. Sephiroth tightened his grip on the small frame, and felt Cloud relax in the warm embrace. Soon enough, the blonde's breathing slowed and Cloud fell asleep, cuddled up against his chest. Sephiroth dozed, and fell asleep himself shortly
On another note, I'm keeping these chapters kinda short because I'd rather keep feeding this in little pieces to you readers every day or two, than make you wait a long time for a big long chapter that takes me days and days and days to write. . So little bits. I'm still writing and the ideas just keep expanding so have at it peoples! ;)
A reminder, this IS YAOI. DUn like it, run away screaming homophobes! (hehe, Im' mean. :) )
OKAY!
Chapter 3 Be Careful what you Say
Cloud was still smiling rather stupidly down at Sephiroth when there was a quick knock at the door. His eyes widened in surprise, and both men turned to look at the offending door, just as it opened, their visitor not bothering to wait until he was bidden inside.
"Mr. Strife, I saw you with all of that food and I thought that you might want some--" The innkeeper froze, wide eyed as he finally stepped inside, and saw that his patron was not alone. Cloud and Sephiroth were frozen, still sprawled together in the bed, Cloud's face poised only inches from Sephiroth's. It was a very awkward moment. The inn keeps face was slowly turning a blueish-purple as he stared. When he opened his mouth, no kind words came out. "Sweet fucking planet! What sort of girlie-assed fags am I keeping here?!" Sephiroth's face darkened noticeably. "Man, if I'd 'a known you were some perverted she-male I wouldn't 'a given you such a fucking good deal!" He was on a roll now and didn't notice the storm clouds that seemed to be forming in the room right above Sephiroth's head. He and Cloud had separated by now, and Cloud stood at the foot of the bed in shock while Sephiroth sat up, keeping his modesty with only the light sheets pooled around his hips. "Well, that explains what the fuck you were up to all the time with this Fucker… I knew you looked like the queer type… And YOU." The innkeeper turned to Sephiroth, still not noticing the malice shining brightly behind mako-green eyes. "Damn, I thought you were some little 'ol lady!" Sephiroth frowned. "Seems' I was wrong!" The innkeeper laughed dryly, looking at Sephiroth over his nose with a disgusted look. Cloud was starting to look angry now, too. He could take the insults. He couldn't take the insults against Sephiroth. He'd just heard too many in the last six years. "I suppose you think you're pretty hot stuff, don't'cha, pretty boy?" Sephiroth's eyes narrowed and he stood, the sheets falling away from his body to leaving him standing nude in all his six-foot-one glory. It was only out of sheer stupidity and arrogance that the innkeeper wasn't terrified by the menacing glare. "WHOA!" The squat, ugly little man, greasy and sagging in his mid to late fourties, balding and loud, was everything Sephiroth was not. Unfortunately, that didn't do him a bit of good at the moment. He just kept on going. "Damn! It's a fuckin' shame that yer so damned well equipped!" He said, eyeing Sephiroth head to toe. "Queers like you don't deserve such gifts. Cut yer hair and go find a good cunt, why don'tcha?" Sephiroth snapped, and with a snarl, closed the distance between him and the pungent little man, catching him by the collar and lifting him clear off the floor, slamming him into the door, forcing it shut as he did so.
"What are you going to do if I don't want to?" Sephiroth said, voice low and cold. This was him: Sephiroth. Who he was, who he was made to be. Cold, harsh, unforgiving, brutal. He increased his pressure, pushing the man hard enough into the heavy old door that it creaked in complaint. "You know…" He went on, voice even darker. "You ought to clean up the way you talk." He gave another push. "You never know who you might insult…"
Cloud, who'd been frozen in shock, suddenly reanimated himself into terror. "Seph! Don't!" He had this horrible feeling that Sephiroth was brought back for a reason, but that it would be in vain if he didn't stop what was happening.
"Yeah, Seph. Stop it." The innkeeper sneered. Sephiroth growled.
"Cloud, stay out of this."
"Hah! Oh, that's fresh! The little queer goes by 'Cloud'! How perfect!" The blood in Sephiroth's temples started to pound: all he could see was red. The blood in his veins burned and he swore that this man would not walk away, now. He started to cast around for anything he could find that might help in killing him.
"Seph!" Cloud went on, desperate to reach him. "Stop it! This CAN'T happen!" Sephiroth ignored him. He was weak: very weak, but he had this blood lust that had to be satiated. He couldn't stop. "You can't kill! You have too much blood on your hands already!" Sephiroth slowed down just a little, but had just found Cloud's buster sword hidden in a corner, and was stalking back towards the innkeeper, eyes hazy and glowing sharply. Cloud gave up on being nice. "SEPHIROTH, STOP!" He screamed, slapping the much taller man across the face as hard as he could. Sephiroth froze, his eyes clearing into surprise. Below him, the innkeeper recognized the name, and had suddenly found the fear that he should have a very long time ago.
"S-s…Se-Sephiroth? …Th-the ShinRa General…?" He whimpered brokenly, wide-eyed. "But He died over a d-decade ago!" Sephiroth grunted, dropping Cloud's sword to glare down at the greasy man.
"Do I look dead to you?" He said darkly. The innkeeper shook his head, speechless. "Good. Get the fuck out of here and leave us alone." He finished, opening the door and shoving the little man out so firmly that he collided with the opposite hall wall, and collapsed in a heap on the floor. He slammed and locked the door, and turned on Cloud darkly. "You hit me." Cloud was terrified, but he forced that down, making himself be brave.
"You wouldn't listen. And you were going to kill that man." He said, hoping to hell his voice wouldn't shake.
"So what?" Sephiroth went on, his voice still low with anger. Cloud's throat closed. He didn't want any conflict with Sephiroth, for several reasons.
"Sephiroth…You can't kill any more. You were given a second chance, a chance to live and maybe even atone for the past, but that won't happen if you keep on killing." Much to Cloud's relief, Sephiroth's face softened a little. "I know it's the only thing you know: anger and pain, but this is your chance to learn new things as well, but in order to do so, you have to cast the hate away or it'll poison you from the inside out …" Cloud cast his eyes down, his own pain welling up. "…like last time…" He looked up to see Sephiroth half-turned away, eyes on the floor, brows furrowed, lips drawn tight. "…Sephiroth?" Sephiroth turned on him, eyes bright with pain.
"How can I do that, Cloud? How can I ever make up for all that I've already done? How can I change who I am when I was literally made to be this way! I was not a child born of a mother, Cloud, I'm a thing, another toy soldier built and made to be played with by maniacs. I know nothing of love, or happiness, or even freedom. Perhaps I do have a chance to feel these things, but I don't even know how! So I'm free now. Where do I go? What do I do? I am a thing of steel and fire: cold and destructive, designed to kill. There is nowhere for me to go. Nothing the world can give me…." He trailed off, lost in despair. Cloud's heart, in the meantime, had broken in two. He rushed to Sephiroth's side, embracing him as warmly as he could.
"Sephiroth! Let me help you! Let me show you. Maybe I'm no better, but we can try, can't we? Nothing can be worse than what little you have right now. I don't know how much of that I can give you, but I'll give you as much as I can. I promise." His face was wet. Cloud didn't know when he had started to cry, but he had been for quite some time by how wet his face was. Sephiroth turned to him, startled, and looked hard into Cloud's tear-blurred eyes.
"Cloud…?"
"If nothing else, Sephiroth, I can give you love. I love you with every part of my being and that has never changed, nor will it ever." Cloud said quickly, feeling a little panicked. Sephiroth quelled that quickly as he turned, hugging Cloud to him as firmly as he could, crushing the smaller body against him as if it were his only lifeline.
"Cloud… All I've done to you, and still, all you do is keep on giving and giving and giving…. How do you do it, Cloud? How can you love…ME? I'm a monster…"
"You are NOT a monster!" Cloud cried, something flaring inside of him. "Jenova's a monster, HOJO'S a monster! Anyone who'd take a baby from his mother and subject him to such cruelty all his miserable life is a monster! You are a man with a dark past, Sephiroth, but you are NOT A MONSTER!" Sephiroth gasped as Cloud looked up, blue eyes fierce, daring him to challenge his words.
"Cloud…" Cloud cut him off, kissing him fiercely, with more passion and strength than he ever thought he'd dare. He pulled back to look up into Sephiroth's eyes again. They were glassy but warm, and Sephiroth was smiling down at him softly. "Cloud… I don't think I deserve it, but I'll take whatever help you're willing to give me." Cloud leaned into him, and then started, pulling back.
"You're shaking!" He accused with a frown. "Get some rest or we'll never be able to leave!"
"How do you know I don't want to stay here?" Sephiroth countered, even as he sank back into bed.
"Do you?"
"No."
"Then rest up so we can go. I don't like that greasy old man any more than you do!" Sephiroth chuckled.
"I could probably go tomorrow if we go slow…" He suggested. Cloud remained quiet for a while, poised right over Sephiroth, standing by the bed. "We're not welcome here anymore." He added into the silence. He could sense Cloud's discomfort with the entire town, somehow, and wanted to convince him to leave, if only for his own good.
"Where do we go…?" Cloud said idly after a moment.
"Show me where you live. Or anywhere if not there, I don't care." Sephiroth said easily.
"Just not Midgar." They both said in unison. Cloud turned, smiling.
"Well, at least that much is settled." He walked across the room and shut the lights off. "But for now lets just get some rest." He crept back across the room in the dark, and settled into one of the two chairs in the room, positioned squarely in the corner. He settled down into it, and used the corner of the joined walls to support himself as he leaned a little, preparing to sleep that way. Sephiroth watched him silently for a moment, not entirely understanding what was happening until Cloud leaned his head against the wall with a soft thump and shut his brightly glowing eyes. Sephiroth frowned.
"You're not going to sleep like that, are you?" He asked softly. Cloud lifted his head, looking across the darkness at him.
"Its what I've been doing every night since we got here…" Sephiroth stared. "There's nowhere else."
"You can't afford another room?" Sephiroth asked softly. He felt badly that Cloud had been sleeping in a stiff old chair up against a wall for so many nights. Cloud shook his head 'no'.
"I could, but I needed to stay here and watch after you. You were too sick and I would have never slept, worrying in another room." He said simply. Sephiroth frowned.
"You know I'm ok now…"
"Yeah."
"You could sleep in a real bed."
"I'd rather be in here. It's fine, really. Don't worry about me." Cloud said calmly. Sephiroth stayed quiet for a moment, watching Cloud, even as the blonde sighed, and tilted his head back against the wall, and shut his eyes.
"Cloud…" He began again, suddenly feeling uncertain, like he was pestering his companion.
"Yeah?" Cloud said. Sephiroth noticed that he didn't lift his head this time.
"…You…could… well, we…." He fumbled, embarrassed. "I have no problem with sharing…If you want…. There's plenty of room…" He finished finally, and waited into the silence, almost afraid of what Cloud might say to him in reply. Cloud sat up smartly, looking over at him.
"You sure?" He said. Sephiroth didn't miss the hopeful tone in his voice and smiled.
"Positive." He scooted over to one side of the bed, welcoming Cloud. "You deserve better than a cold, hard wall.
"I've had worse." Cloud stated with a small laugh, even as he crawled tentatively into bed with Sephiroth.
Cloud was trembling as he slid under the warm sheets. He was surrounded by warmth and Sephiroth's scent and presence. The heat he felt against his skin was from Sephiroth's body, which was only inches from him, at a respectful distance. It was still intimate, and Cloud's heart hammered with every even breath that was drawn through the other's lips. He lay stiffly, afraid and uncertain, and feeling very shy. He jumped a little as Sephiroth turned his head to face him.
"Relax." He said softly, sliding up close and wrapping an arm carefully around Cloud's waist. It was a careful, gentle movement, but it still made Cloud jump, his heart hammering with the slightest touch. He let out a gasp as Sephiroth leaned in a little closer so that they touched lightly, but did not object. He could not relax, either. "…Cloud, are you alright? …Should I…"
"No. I'm fine, really…I'm just…" Cloud cut him off, his own voice trembling. "This is so surreal… so…. I dreamed of things like this, but I could never bear to imagine what it would be like…Its almost overwhelming." Sephiroth smiled in the darkness, and pulled Cloud the rest of the minor distance between them to him. Cloud gasped again, but then let out a sigh, resting his head under Sephiroth's chin, nuzzling his chest lightly. Sephiroth tightened his grip on the small frame, and felt Cloud relax in the warm embrace. Soon enough, the blonde's breathing slowed and Cloud fell asleep, cuddled up against his chest. Sephiroth dozed, and fell asleep himself shortly