Sweet Dreams
Alistair was sitting on a log across the fire from her. She watched the fire make red highlights on his sandy brown hair. He was polishing his armor and whistling to himself, completely confident in her ability to lead them. He seemed to think that they would triumph because their cause was just and they were fighting evil.
Sareyna was not as naïve as her Warden companion. She had a good working knowledge of battle strategies as she had taken part in numerous battles. When her father's troops had been dispatched to put an end to an advance party of Quinari she had gone with them, fighting alongside her brother and Ser Gilmore. And anytime a band of Orlesians tried to start problems in the country she went with her father's troops to deal with them as well.
But how do you form a battle strategy against a horde of mindless animals? They didn't even know who they were going to have as allies. It seemed every time they turned around someone else needed their help and was delaying them from the blight. And now politics were involved. Honestly, she did not know a lot about politics, even though her mother had tried to teach her. She had preferred to learn how to use weapons, and to train her dog Pentheryn.
Her mother had resisted at first, but soon realized that she would not be able to stop Sareyna, her desire to learn to fight and to hold her own was too strong. So her mother had taught Sareyna her not so inconsiderable skills. Sareyna was surprised to find that despite being so tall she had mastered the blade and stealth skills fairly easily. Eleanor had actually enjoyed sparring with her daughter finding that it kept her skills sharp as well as keeping her in top form.
And now she was the only Cousland left, although she held no title now that she was a Warden. She had been spared a terrible death for this purpose. She was meant to defeat the Blight with the beautiful man, who had just switched to polishing his sword, across from her. They were the last two Wardens in Ferelden, the only thing between the Archdemon and the people of Ferelden.
The more she thought about it the more she realized that they had both been spared repeatedly so they could defeat the Blight. Both of them had survived the Joining, they had been saved at Ostagar and had survived an attack by an assassin. Not to mention that she had been spared a gruesome death at her family home.
Sareyna knew that it was in large part thanks to her mother's great rogue skills that they had survived to find her father the night that Howe attacked them. She was sure her mother had taken the lives of a great many of Howe's men before she had finally succumbed to her injuries.
Even in the face of imminent death her parents' love was a palpable thing. She had always been fascinated by the fact that her parents had married for love and even after all their years of marriage they were still deliriously in love, right till the end. They could not stand to be apart for long and they held hands, stared longingly into each other's eyes as if they had only been together a short time instead of almost thirty years. It was so hard for them to be apart that her mother had not been able to even think of living without her father.
Sareyna had never felt anything like that and had resigned herself to the idea that love like that clearly wasn't for her. She had tried to be open to love in any form. He parents wanted her to marry not out of duty but out of love, as they had. She had thought she was in love several times when she was a teenager, but it had turned out to just be desire. She had been with both women and men and she had cared for them each in some way but she had never felt real love. At least nothing like what her parents had seemed to feel.
Sareyna blinked back tears thinking about her parents and their strong love for each other. She had lost them as well as all those she had cared about. And now she was facing the Blight. She could possibly lose her life and her entire country. And don't let anyone tell you fate has no sense of humor. While still in the grips of her grief, and trying to successfully lead her companions, she felt like she might actually be falling in love. If it wasn't so ridiculous and tragic she might have laughed.
She looked back across the fire at Alistair and saw that he was watching her. She smiled at him and he rose and walked around the fire sitting down beside her. They were again the last ones awake, they usually were, neither eager to dream of the Darkspawn.
"You were gone again, where did you go?"
She smiled at him "Home. I mean Highever. I was thinking about my parents. About how much they loved each other. It just made me happy at the memory and sad about missing them is all. Nothing to worry about Ali." She touched his arm.
He was surprised, as usual, at how cool her fingers were against his skin. He closed his other hand over her fingers. "You always say that 'Reyna, but sometimes I worry we expect too much from you and we haven't given you a chance to try to heal. You've been through more, recently, than the rest of us."
She leaned against his shoulder "I know and that is exactly why I need to keep busy. I'll deal with it better when it's safer."
He knew enough not to argue with her. She was possibly the most stubborn person he had ever met. He put his arm around her and held her instead. His heart sped up as he caught her scent. She always smelled faintly of well oiled leather and apple.
They had been tiptoeing around each other for weeks now. They went everywhere together and cultivated this air of easy camaraderie as an excuse for them constantly touching each other. They gave and received backrubs, much to Zev's displeasure. They used each other's legs for pillows while they lounged around the fire talking.
There was a delicious tension between them that they did not speak about. Not since the rose. They had both admitted to having "feelings" for each other but that had been as far as things had progressed. Alistair wasn't really sure where to go from there. He had never been in a relationship before. He had decided to enjoy the physical closeness and he pushed it a little farther every few days, waiting to see if she would stop him. So far, there had been no complaints. He fantasized about kissing her, pulling her close against him and seeing how her lips felt and how she tasted. Honestly, he was a little afraid. Not of her per se, but of her experience.
They had already spoken of his lack of experience and the fact that she had a decent amount of experience. He had actually spent a night asking her questions about what it had felt like to be with another woman. He had sat so that she couldn't see his face turning every shade of red there was, but he had been curious. He had thought of asking Leli but she relished making him blush. 'Reyna had been frank and straight forward, just answering his questions. She seemed almost detached from it.
Part of him was glad she had experience so that at least one of them knew what they were doing if they were ever to move forward with the relationship. On the other hand he was afraid that he would be inadequate to satisfy her, or that it wouldn't mean to her what it did to him.
He ran his fingers through her hair, pulling the leather thong out. She made a low moan and then moved to sit in front of him. It was one of his favorite things to do. Using his fingers to slowly and carefully untangle her hair. She seemed to like it too; she made low moaning noises whenever he did it and it made his heart race.
His fingers in her hair felt amazing. She enjoyed the little tingles it sent down her spine, almost making her shiver in delight. She smiled contentedly at the slow soft strokes. He massaged her scalp with his fingertips releasing the tension there from holding her high ponytail during the day.
She got up suddenly and walked towards her tent.
"Stay there, I'll be right back." She called over her shoulder.
Alistair stared after her, but didn't move.
Sareyna climbed into her tent and started pulling off her armor. Alistair had changed while she had been cooking for everyone earlier but she had been too busy. She was getting uncomfortable but wasn't ready to end the evening yet. She shimmied into a pair of woolen trousers and donned a linen tunic as well as a fresh pair of socks. She grabbed one of the woolen blankets from her bedroll and headed back to the fire.
Alistair was still sitting there in front of the fire. She said a silent thanks and sat back down in front of him and pulled the blanket to cover her legs as well as Alistair's. She leaned back against his chest, resting her head on his broad left shoulder. She closed her eyes and listened to his breathing.
She hated to admit it but she felt safe with Alistair. He was only a couple inches taller than her but his broad shoulders and chest made her almost feel enveloped while she sat there. His breath was slow and steady. His heart was beating a little fast but she was pretty sure her own was as well.
She had a huge urge to turn and nuzzle his neck and wrap her arms around him. She didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable or rush him, so she stayed still. Alistair would come around, she just knew it.
Little shivery sparks thrilled through Alistair's whole body. They had never been this intimate before. To distract himself from the beautiful woman whose whole body was touching his he started to tell her stories about the Grey Wardens he had known before Ostagar.
She was making noises of encouragement so he continued and told her the story of the Warden from the Anderfels who drank more than everybody else combined one night and still wasn't drunk. He told her about Duncan finding them all passed out in the refectory while the Warden from the Anderfels was still drinking.
While he was telling the story Sareyna had started to rub his right thigh. He felt the familiar flush creep up his neck at her intimate touch. His heart sped up and he tried to not stutter as he told the story, her touch was intoxicating.
When her hand strayed a little higher he felt himself getting aroused. He closed his eyes; there was no way he was getting out of this one. He wished his body could dissolve into the background. His cheeks and ears were on fire now. What if she got mad? He kept telling his story working to control his breathing and willing the offending appendage to behave.
"Maybe I should tell her how I feel. Maybe it would distract her enough that she would forget this", he thought to himself.
"Um…'Reyna?"
"Yes Ali?" She asked
"I know it… might sound strange, considering we haven't known each other for very long, but I've come to…care for you." He started hesitantly, waiting to see if she would protest. When she didn't he pressed on feeling a little more sure of himself. "A great deal. I think maybe it's because we've gone through so much together, I don't know." She was sitting very still but didn't try to pull away. Encouraged he plowed on before he lost his nerve. "Or maybe I'm imaging it. Maybe I'm fooling myself." He stopped when she pulled away and turned around to look at him. She didn't say anything and the silence was driving him crazy so he felt compelled to fill it. He looked into her beautiful, disconcerting eyes. "Am I? Fooling myself? Or do you think you might ever," he swallowed hard and pressed on; "feel the same way about me?"
They were both very still for a few moments. He was sitting with his back against a log and she was kneeling between his legs and staring at him.
She wasn't sure she had heard him right. Did he just tell her he cared for her? Did he just make the first move? It was so unlike Alistair. She almost didn't breathe, afraid it was all a misunderstanding. She chided herself for being so silly. She didn't act like other girls. She didn't get giddy and light headed when a man liked her. Yet, here she was her heart beating a million miles a minute.
She was nervous about giving in to her more feminine urges but couldn't leave the poor man hanging out there. So she decided honesty was best. Who knew, maybe it would even turn into something more permanent. She had felt so lonely and so alone for so long that having someone to share things with appealed to her immensely. She took his hand and said "I think I already do."
She watched his eyes light up and he suddenly pulled her towards him and kissed her. It was tentative at first. He tasted like cheddar and apples. She almost laughed about his love of cheese but was taken aback when he pulled her tighter against his body and slid his hand down to her hip.
He was surprised by how eager she seemed to be. Her response spurred his own and he deepened the kiss, drinking in her honey taste. He realized this was going farther than he had planned but had no desire to stop.
He wanted to feel her hair and slid his hand up to her scalp and ran his fingers through her hair. She moaned against his lips. He tightened his grip on her hair and pressed closer into her. He felt himself getting aroused again and pulled away from her. They were both breathing heavily and then she laughed. He cringed worried he had done something wrong.
"Wow Alistair, that was…it was amazing. Are you sure you haven't done this before?" her eyes twinkled mischief.
Alistair sighed with relief and smiled back at her. "What can I say? I was inspired."
She smiled and leaned forward, kissing him on the cheek. "Sweet dreams Ali." Then she got up and went to her tent.
Alistair smiled knowing exactly what kind of dreams he was going to have; he stopped himself from grinning like a fool. He was glad everyone else had turned in for the night so no one was watching him as he got up, still aroused and almost ran to his tent feeling frightened and giddy at the same time.
He could slaughter hundreds of Darkspawn and not even bat an eyelash. But kissing a woman had him half scared to death. Of course she was a fairly intimidating woman. She could take out Darkspawn almost twice as fast as he could. She fought with two long swords instead of daggers like most rogues and had earned the respect of an assassin, a bard, a maleficar, a golem, and a Quinari general. So yeah, a little intimidating, but beautiful and a great sense of humor.
"Ok, I am going to stop over analyzing this and just appreciate it…And enjoy it," he thought with a decidedly unwholesome smile. He was looking forward to his 'Sweet Dreams'.