**********I do not own any of the characters; they belong to who they belong to. No copy right intended. This story is rated mature. It contains profanity, violence and adult situations.********
Chapter 3
LILYAN POV
Tig went back with me to my house. He was bored and had nothing going on either. With Cain being gone it would be so quiet that it would drive me nuts any how. I never really have a lot of adult company so this was a treat for me.
Since I wasn't expecting guest, I had things strung out all over the table. Tig picked up the police report "What is all of this?"
"Nothing."
"Come on Lily. What have you found out?"
"I don't know anymore information than you do. I was hoping to get something out of all of it. But so far, I haven't." There wasn't anything Tig could tell me either. No matter what, there was no letting this go for me. Until I know what happened to Jackson, I won't rest.
Tig was grilling steaks in the back yard. I picked everything up from the table and stuck it in the kitchen drawer for later. He understood what I was doing and why. But, I still didn't want to talk about it anymore.
After I made a salad and started the potatoes, I took him out a beer "Thanks doll."
We must have killed about case of beer after we finished dinner. Doing some catching up with one another because it had been so long since we talked last. I was really enjoying his company until he mentioned Jackson "I don't think he ever got over you. He missed you so much Lily."
"I missed him too." There was still some truth to that even though he is gone now. I miss him more today than ever and can't seem to get him off of my mind. Tig wanted to know why I never even as much as called them or made the attempt to see any of them again.
"I did. Every so often I would park down the street and try to get the courage up to come inside. You know why I had to do that and keep my distance from everyone. Besides I know that Jackson had moved on and I didn't see a need to bring old wounds back."
"What are you talking about Jaxs never moved on? He never got past the fact he was still in love with you and wanted you to come back to him."
The last time I went to the clubhouse was about a year ago. I saw Jackson leaving on his bike with a girl on the back of it. So I left it alone. The last thing I wanted to happen was give him false hope that we could be together or to interfere with what he had going on with her. There was nothing more I wanted, other than to be with him.
"You know what we need Tig?"
"What?"
"Tequilla. A lot of Tequilla." Cutting up a bunch of limes to go with it and getting the sea salt down from the cabinet.
Tig and I drank with our shots until almost dawn. It has been forever since I've done that. Hearing someone beating on the door, I tried to get up from the couch. That's where I ended up passing out last night. Tig made it up from the recliner first "Are you expecting anyone?"
"No." He drew his gun and moved the curtain to look out. Some old habits die hard, this is what you are used to doing when you live life like we have.
"It's just Abel." Why does that not surprise me that he is here again.
"Hey kid, whats' going on?"
"I guess I could ask you the same thing Tiggy." Abel is way to cocky for his own good. It's something that I know youth can't teach you and I fear he is going to end up learning that the hard way.
He was looking me up and down. Tig gave me his shirt because when we were sitting outside last night I was getting cold from only having on a tank top and a pair of shorts. I knew what Abel was thinking. This kid was really starting to piss me off.
"What do I owe the pleasure of this visit? It's kind of early in the morning for a pop in, uninvited visit. Don't you think?"
"It's noon. I guess if you two would have gotten outta bed earlier from fucken, it wouldn't be an issue. Do ya think?"
"Watch your mouth Abel."
Nothing has changed since I've been around them. They don't allow disrespect to go on and apparently Abel hasn't learned that lesson yet either. I stepped in between them because I knew what Tig would do.
"It's okay Tig. It doesn't really matter what he thinks. Nothing happened last night between us, not that it would be any of your business if it did. Not that I want to be rude or anything but, why the fuck are you here?"
The last thing I wanted, with having a hangover this morning was to have to deal with this kid. I got the ice cream out of the freezer and sat down at the kitchen table. Picking up the bottle and pouring myself a drink "Care for one?"
Abel never answered me "Okay suit yourself."
"Do you start everyday getting drunk?"
"Do you start everyday being this annoying? What, haven't you ever seen someone drink and eat their sorrows away?"
"You and I need to talk."
"So talk."
Looking at Tig "No. Not now. I'll come back when you're alone and maybe even sober. So what time would that be, around six in the morning?"
"Good luck on that."
"I just need to use the bathroom and I'll be on my way." It wouldn't be soon enough for me. Tig showed him where it was at. I disappeared into my bedroom and waited for him to be gone.
"I gotta get back to the clubhouse. I'll call you later, okay?"
"Okay. You know we have to do something about him, right?"
"I know and I'll work on it." Tig kissed my forehead and left.
After making coffee and having a long hot shower, I felt better. My cell was ringing and I didn't recognize the number. But, I knew the area it was from, Charming "Hello."
"Lily. You have to give Abel something. He was here this morning asking me all kinds of questions. It's only a matter of time until he knows the truth."
"I'll figure out something. But while I have you on the phone Gemma, I want Jackson's wedding band back."
"What makes you think I have it?"
"Lets not play games old women. He was still wearing it and it belongs to me. You can give it to me or I will come and take it if that's the way you want it to be. Then you can also deal with Abel on your own. Finding out the truth about everything wouldn't exactly be a good thing for you either."
"Fine. Talk to Abel first, then I will give it to you." What a bitch she still is. Somethings will never change no matter how many years go by.
Getting dressed and driving to work, I noticed someone behind me "That little shit."
When I turned off into the construction project, Abel parked his bike on the dirt road across the street. I was not going to let him get to me. So I went on about my business and wouldn't give him the satisfaction of thinking it bothered me.
Waving at Abel as I was going into the job trailer, he nodded his head back at me. I was really trying to be productive but, it wasn't working. When Caleb brought in the material order he needed "Is there a guy on a bike still parked across the street?"
"Yeah. Is he a problem? Do you want me to go chase him off Boss?" He worked for Gabe for years and I rely on him a lot. Always loyal and always willing to protect me.
"No. I just wanted to know."
The next couple of hours passed by slowly. Looking through the blind; Abel was still setting at the same spot smoking on his bike. Picking up the picture of Jackson from my desk. Remembering all the rides we took together on his bike.
"Hello."
"It's time. You need to be here in an hour."
"That might be a problem."
"What is the problem?"
"Never mind. I'll handle it."
Getting in my car and pulling up beside Abel "I think your tire is flat."
"No it's not."
Taking my gun out and firing "It is now."
"You crazy bitch."
"Yeah, I get that a lot."
ABELS POV
"Are you sure about that Mom?"
"Yeah I am. I was there. Tara shot Lily because Jaxs left Tara for her. Lily was pregnant at the time with his baby." Dad knew about Cain then. He had to of. That still doesn't make any sense at all.
"So why did Lily leave him then?"
"I don't know. I wasn't around a lot after that and Tara would never talk about it. I came around to see you as much I could, when they would let me. Jaxs fought me about being around you. You were starting to get older and it was confusing you having two mommies. I knew Tara could and would take better care of you than me. It was a sacrifice of love and I walked away. I did that for you Abel. To make your life better even if you don't beleive that."
There seems to be a lot of things in my life that they have hidden from me. It wasn't until I got older and wanted to know about my mom that Tara told me. Tara has always been my mom and been there for me. She did take good care of me and I was always treated just like Thomas. Cause in her eyes, we were both her children. For that I'm grateful to her.
The story they told me was Wendy was a junkie whore who abandoned me. She wanted nothing to do with me at all and didn't want to see me. It wasn't until I was about sixteen I wanted to find her. Dad threw a fit about it. It was Tara that gave me her address.
Tara had kept in contact with Wendy over the years. Tara was afraid that Dad would find out she was the one that told me. He never did cause I wouldn't tell him how I found her. At least Wendy was truthful with me. She admitted what role she played in it all. Even though it hurt to hear it.
I've tried to find a place for her in my heart. I really have. I guess it's that fear she won't be around anymore that stops me from trusting her completely and letting her in. I find myself keeping her at a distance and other times wanting that closeness with her.
Mom told me a lot of shit that I didn't know. I'm sure there is a lot more shit that they are covering up too. Maybe not her but, the rest of them are. I'm just gonna keep digging until I find out the truth. Maybe Cain is not his son. But I bet there is more to that story too.
"I'll see ya later." Giving her a hug and trying to ignore her woman who wanted to join in to make it a group thing.
Riding back to Charming letting everything we talked about soak in. I don't want to blame Dad or doubt things he has told me. But I am already finding out some of it is bullshit. He always preached brotherhood and honesty with the ones you love.
Going to the next big liar on the list, Gemma. She welcomed me with a big hug at the door "Morning baby. Do you want some breakfast?"
"I'll take some coffee if you have any."
While she was making it, I thought now was a good of a time as any "Did Dad ever tell you that he wanted the club to go in a different direction? How he wanted more for it. He had a different vision for it."
"No. Why?"
"I found his journals. He was talking about getting outta guns and going more legit. His vision for the club is not what it is today."
"He never mentioned it to me."
"Then what did he mention to you?"
"You know, the normal stuff. Your father took care of business like a man. He took care of his family and the club no matter what he had to do. He loved you and Thomas more than anything. You're a Teller and that's what we do."
"Yeah it is and what I will do. I want to make him proud of me. Like I said before, what he wanted the club to be isn't what it is today."
"That was probably when he first took over the club. It was trying times for us all. Guns is what the Sons do and always will."
"What about him and Tara? Was it trying times for them too?"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Sure you do. He left Tara for Lily right? He was going to have a child with her. Cain maybe?" Gemma gave a song dance about nothing. All of a sudden she was going to be late and had to get ready to leave. She might be done with this conversion but, I was far from being done with it.
Kissing my cheek before I went out the door "You and your brother are all I have left in this world. I love you more than anything. You need to let go of chasing something that was just a thought of your fathers."
Deciding that I might as well go straight to the source and hear what she had to say about it. Only it wasn't her that opened the door, it was Tig. It wasn't hard to tell what they had done. I guess since he's gone she moved on to the next Son.
Looking around the kitchen you would have thought they had a party last night with all the empty booze bottles. She of course denied everything and was all ready getting shit faced again. There was no use in trying to talk to her so I said I had to go to the bathroom.
Not going in there cause I had to pee but, to have a look around. There was nothing in there. Not as much as a toothbrush even. This won't be the last time I do this either. Lilyan has a choice to make. Tell me the truth or I'll hang around until I find it out on my own.
Parking down the street and waiting, Tig left on his bike. I hadn't seen Cain around. I've got some business to handle with him too and that score will get settled. It wasn't long until Lilyan was going somewhere and I was gonna find out everything about her I could. Even if she didn't like it.
She gave me a smile and a wave to let me know she knew I was here. That was my intent to let her know I wasn't going anywhere and I wasn't gonna hide it either.
Hanging around for about four hours just watching what was going on, different people coming and going. She works for a construction company and she finally was ready to leave. Getting on my bike to be ready to go too. I'm her new shadow and we will do it however in the hell she wants it to be.
"I think your tire is flat."
"No it's not."
"It is now." Then that crazy bitch shot it out and laughed about it.
"This is far from being over with honey." Now she will find out just how mean I can be.
Taking out my cell "Kenny send one of the prospects with a new tire. I had a blow out." There is no way in hell I was gonna tell him or any of them what happened. That score will get settled too.
Following behind the Prospect on the way back to the clubhouse. I knew what I had to. The person I had to call and the hell I was gonna start by doing it.
Going into my office it took me forever to dial all the numbers "Abel. I have missed you so much. How are you baby?"
"I'm good. There is something we need to talk about."
"I know. I didn't think it would take you this long to call when you found out about Thomas."
"What about Thomas?"
Apparently I wasn't the only one with holding information lately. Thomas had talked to Tara about leaving the club and moving where she lived. They weren't just talking about it, it was already in motion. Her husband, Tyler was letting Thomas into his practice. Thomas would do his residency then he would practice along beside him. It's that just the shit, Thomas wouldn't do things beside his own father but, more than willing to beside Tyler.
"I'm so sorry I thought he told. You could have that same opportunity. You know we would help you with a place to stay and you go back to school. In the long run..."
"Let me stop you there. It's not that I don't appreciate the offer. I'm not a nine to five kinda guy. I've got a Harley and an eleventh grade education. Being an outlaw is all I know. It's not what I do. It's who I am."
"It doesn't have to be that way. You're going to have a child of your own. You will wake up one day and see the world through different eyes. You need to get out before it's to late Abel."
"It was too late the day I took my first ride and put my leather on."
"I worry so much about you two. Every time the phone rings..I...I.."
"Please don't cry." Tara had shed enough tears over the years, for one reason or another. There was no need for her to have to again. With the news about Thomas. I didn't even bother trying to talk to her about Lilyan.
"I love you to Mom and I'll talk to you later."
Now came the decisions I was gonna have to make. If it was another member that was leaving without talking to the club first, there would be hell to pay. Once you're in, you're in for life. There are very few exceptions to that rule. Everyone at the table has to agree to let you go. Knowing that if they let you walk away alive, you could always rat.
Going out into the bar and finding the one I needed to talk to "In my office, now."
He was drinking with Kenny "What the hell did you do man?"
"I don't know. I just got here so it can't be that bad." He was so wrong about that.
Slamming the door behind him cause I was pissed "What crawled up you and died?"
"When were you gonna tell me about your new career, Doctor Thomas?"
"I was going to tell you when things calmed down around here."
"Do you really understand what can happen? I don't have control over the table. They could vote not to let you go or worse."
"It doesn't matter what they want. When it's time I'm leaving. He is gone and I am going to start living for me now."
"What the hell does that mean?"
"I stayed here so long because it was what was best for everybody involved. If I would have told Mom I wanted to leave, he would have killed her for me to stay. Because she would have come for me and you know it. I couldn't stand the thought of not being with you growing up. You have been the only thing consistent in my life. Let's face it; he wasn't exactly the best father or role model to have. He was never around. You're the one that taught me how to ride a bike, was my coach in little league and every other thing I know."
"He had a lot of shit going on and to do."
"God, I am so sick of this martyr you have made him out to be. You have a sick twisted superman version of him in you head that is not real. Was he at your baseball games or there when you really needed him the most? Have you forgotten all that?"
"I just understand more than you do. About the club and him. You really need to think this shit through. You could do those same thing here if that is what you want."
"Yeah. Spend all day saving lives. Then come here at night and kill as many as I've saved. On the weekends I could patch up members that got shot too. I'm doing this Abel and you don't have to like it. Just be there as my brother and show me as much love as you have for the club. They can have my leather that means nothing to me. I'll black out my ink that makes me ill when I look at and reminds me of just how much hate I have for him. What are you going to do about it, shoot me? Or maybe have one of your cronies do it for you."
Standing at the doorway he wouldn't turn around to face me "I am your only real brother sitting at the table. You need to remember that."
Taking out his journals. I remembered something he had written about jumping off the edge. That was what I was gonna do, jump with Thomas.
Entry 3 -
Today is the day we prove who
we are as a club, as brothers being one.
I have led them as far as I can on what I
believe and what I know is the right thing
to do. Now they have to prove it's real to
them too and we stand united one more
time. That they want it as much as I do.
.
It took me a long time to figure out
it was never Clay I had to face to be
a man or to be loyal to my club. But my
own ghost, demons that I've created in
this life of chaos for my future and my
boys future as well. But I still gotta kill him
to make shit right. That chapter in my life
needs an ending. A lot of chapters still
need an ending that I haven't found yet
nor know how to close them.
.
Opie believed who ever bangs the
gavel is corrupted by it and it brings
the chaos to the surface. He's right
it does. You can no longer travel in
a comfy cozy circle among friends that
you trust or that trust you. Cause you
have no friends, only enemies. Never
let anyone convince you differently,
cause I'm living proof of that.
.
.
Entry 4 -
Everything I do is for the good
of my club or my family. At least
that is what I tell myself knowing
some of it is a lie. Sometimes I have
to do that just to make it through one
more day, one more time and one
more ride. There will be very few
people who you let in and really
trust with it all.
.
I've risked my life, my family and my
freedom just so the club can survive. I
was taught that this was the only way it
can be and should be. But, there has to
be a better way, something that I've
missed. Maybe you'll find what I haven't
yet.
.
On those days that you want outta of
this life and don't think you can take
anymore. Stop and remember the
reasons that you found a love for the club.
Just don't be as blind as I've been and
throw away everything else. Find your
own way and let your heart lead you.
They will follow you anywhere if you do
that.
.
.
Entry 5
I am always standing on the edge of the
cliff and jumping off. The feeling of falling
keeps me awake at night and fearful
during the day. There is nothing in writing
about being an outlaw or how to be good
at it.
.
The most important thing to remember is
what it takes to be a good brother. You
fight with them but, you would die fighting
for them. When they are at their weakest,
you find more of your own strength to
make up for it. If they fall, you need
to be the hand that helps them back
up in this life to stand up on their own
again.
.
I've fallen so many times and hitting a new
bottom low. Thinking I couldn't ever get
back up. Knowing I had to cause there
are so many people counting on me.
You've got to jump off cliffs all the time
and build your wings on the way down.
.
"I hope you've found your wings Thomas. Cause were both taking the plunge on this one."
"Yeah come in."
"Are you okay man?"
"Shut the door Kenny. There's something that I wanna talk to you about." Telling him what Thomas wanted to do.
"That's harsh man. I don't know which way they would vote on it."
"Keep this between us until I figure out how to deal with it. We need to make this happen. Not just for him but, the old man too."
"Okay. That girl is outside and wants to see you." This was even better. She came to me.
Everyone was standing outside talking to her; Tig, Happy and Juice "Lilyan. What do I owe the pleasure of this visit to?"
Before she could speak "Hey, I think your windshield is cracked."
"No it's not."
Taking out my gun then firing seven round into it "It is now."
"Also. I thought I noticed a dent in your door." She was shaking her head but, didn't even try to stop me. Happy and Tig didn't like it much either. They knew better than to interfere.
"Is this the way it has to be Abel?"
"Yep." As I took my foot and shoved it into her car door.
"Are you done now?"
"Not yet." Using the handle of my gun, I knocked out the driver side window.
"Now I am. What can I do for you?"
"I want to apologize for my actions the last couple of days. I haven't been myself and Jackson's death hit me pretty hard. If we could speak in private, I think I can clear everything up for you."
"Okay we can talk in my office. You really need to get your car fixed. The garage can have that repaired in a couple of day. Of course I'm gonna charge you for it."
"Of course you are."
She laid everything out on my desk for me. I was wrong, Cain is not my brother. A man by the name of Kevin Wallace was on everything, including the birth certificate "I am sorry to disappoint you. But Cain is not his son."
"I don't know what to say Lilyan. I'm sorry for bothering you."
"It's okay. I completely understand. You just lost your father and it has to be hard becoming the President of the club. You have a lot on your plate. Is this officially a truce between us?" She held out her hand to me.
"Yeah." Shaking her hand.
"Oh and before you leave. I have something for you." Going to my safe and taking out the notebook marked; Ricochet Of Love.
"This is about you and I think you should have it."
Standing in front of her with it inches from her hand. She reached out to take it then pulled her hand back. Closing her eyes and taking in long deep breaths "I can't. I don't think I could handle it." With that she was gone.
It was a long, strange and exhausting day. I was ready to call it quits and go home. On the ride home I was kinda ashamed of myself for giving Lilyan such a hard time for no reason. It still doesn't explain everything. I'll at least let it rest, for now.
The lights were off when I went in. I was trying to be quiet. Watching Crystal sleep as the moonlight shined on her body through the window. With each breath she took her stomach would rise and fall too. Taking my clothes off and setting down in the chair beside the bed.
There was no need to wake her up. I know she is exhausted and I haven't been around much to help her out around here. She needs her sleep and so does the baby. I wanted her so much but, still didn't want to wake her.
Rubbing my hand lightly over her belly, caressing it. Feeling Crystal starting to move around on the bed and moan. She is more beautiful to me than she will ever know. I don't know why she has been worried about the weight she has gained with the baby. I find her little bump so sexy and sweet. I think her biggest fear is that I'll stray and won't want her. She is so wrong. Tonight I could take her ten times and not get enough of her or be deep enough inside her.
My cock was wanting to touch her too. Make love to her and show her just how much I desired her body. I don't want to hurt her or the baby and we only have sex when she wants it. But that doesn't mean I don't think about fucking her many different ways and a hundred times a day.
Taking my shaft in my hand. It felt nothing like being with her. No warmth, dry and not any of the emotions that only she has reached within me. The only woman I will ever love and let completely in. Stroking it faster while looking at my woman's body sprawled out in front of me for the taking and thinking about times we were together before. Those times when she drove me crazy and we experienced love together.
Crystal set up in bed "Do you want me to help?"
Letting go of my cock "I was just um..um.."
"Love me Abel." She didn't even care she caught me jerking off. She wanted to feel me as much as I need to feel her.
Leaning my back against the head-board so she could straddle me. I'm always afraid to put all of my weight on her body. Feeling her wet pussy slowly sliding down on my cock. Kissing her while having my hand on her stomach as she rocked back and forth on my cock, rocking my world at the same time. I was giving them both as much love as I could give.
It didn't take her long to get me there. She is the only one to reach that part of me too. Holding on to her and my baby when I came inside of her "I love you Crystal."
"I love you too. Did you see what I left out for you?"
"No. What?"
"Today was my doctor's appointment. I found out what the sex is of the baby."
"Shit. I'm so sorry babe. I got busy and forgot."
"Its okay. Go look at the picture of your child."
Picking the picture up of my daughter. Crystal was right, we're having a little girl. The sonogram had on it; Baby Teller and the date.
Crystal had out her photo album and picked up the sonogram that Dad had in his wallet "Where did this come from?"
"It was Dads." Looking at it again; Andrew Cain Teller and the date on it.
"That lying bitch."
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