Chapter 3

Coping

McGee drove home as soon as he had collected his things from his desk. He felt amazing for what he was doing for his boss. Gibbs would have done it for him. And, in many ways Gibbs was the father to him that his own father had never been. Gibbs had accepted McGee for what he was instead of trying to change him, and wanting him to become a part of the Navy. McGee was glad that he was able to help and follow the absolute most important rule of them all: you do what you have to do for family.

He went home and called Delilah and told her all about what had happened in the past week. They had not spoken much in the time as he had worked the case and dealt with Parsons. He apologized for the length between seeing her and calling her. She understood. But, she was not happy when she heard what he had done for his boss.

"You did what, Tim?" she asked him, sounding shocked and hurt.

"I said, the three of us turned in our badges. Listen, Delilah, we have caused the problems. We are taking responsibility for our actions. Gibbs is on some secret mission now and this will get Parsons off him while he does that. When his assignment is over then we can have our jobs back and deal with all this, alright?" McGee asked his girlfriend.

They had only recently started dating and this was a huge shock to her and McGee knew it. He sank down into his couch and thought as he spoke. He could see her reason to be angry. He was now jobless. But, Delilah did not know that he was an author and could have money if he sat in front of a computer for long enough to write a book. Oh, the books he could right about this situation!

"You quit your job, Tim! You quit you job for a boss who pushes you too hard and treats you like slaves… he calls you at all hours of the day and night to come into work… he makes you work long hours and late into the night and sometimes through the nights or weekends! He doesn't really care about you that much, Tim!" Delilah shouted.

That stung. How could she think like that? She didn't know Gibbs, so she couldn't possibly know whether he cared or not. And, oh the things that Gibbs had done for all three of his team members in the past! He couldn't even begin to comprehend all the times Gibbs had saved them from trouble.

"Delilah, he has done more drastic things to get us out of trouble than we are doing now for him. This is the least we could do for him," McGee said into the phone, a little annoyed now. "Maybe I shouldn't have called you."

"Why not? You haven't talked to me in a week, or seen me for that matter. Remember, you were too busy with cases?" she said angrily.

"Listen, I told you, Gibbs is like a father to me. I would do anything for him, you know that already. You accepted that when I met you," McGee said. "I am now at one of those time periods where I am doing what I have to for family."

"Whatever, Tim," she said. "I'll call you tomorrow. I actually have to go to work in the morning."

She hung up the phone before giving McGee the chance to respond. McGee brushed it off and turned on his computer. He would just play a few games and go to sleep. Hopefully she would be less angry in the morning.

Tony and Ziva ate in silence as they stared at the blank TV screen in front of them. They were avoiding the reason why Ziva had called. But, when the pizza was gone and their bottles of beer were empty, someone had to say something. Tony got up first and avoided Ziva's eyes when he spoke.

"Want another beer?" he asked.

"Sure," she replied, without looking at him.

Tony was only gone a moment, to take the empty box to the kitchen (which he would throw in the dumpster tomorrow) and to grab two more beers. When he came back into the living room he got a glimpse of Ziva.

Ziva had let her walls down and all of her emotions were clearly showing on her face now. She was worrying. Her eyes told him everything he needed to know, but now her face emphasized that point. She was hunched over a little more than normal and had abandoned her perfectly straight posture. She was also wringing her hands together nervously.

Tony sat down close to her on the couch and placed the opened beer bottle in front of her. She didn't say anything and she didn't move. She was lost in her thoughts.

"What's on your mind, Ziva?"

"Do you think we did the right thing, Tony?" she asked. "Do you think we did the right thing by turning in our badges and guns to Vance? What if it does not protect Gibbs from that snake, Parsons?"

"Everything will turn out fine, Ziva, I promise," Tony said, taking her hands in his, slightly annoyed by the constant movement in front of him.

Ziva finally raised her eyes to meet his, a little surprised by the sudden contact between the two of them. His eyes were filled with many of the same worries that she was now sharing with him. His were also filled with care and it melted her heart a little. She relaxed at his touch and look and sighed deeply.

"I know, Tony. I am just worried. I am worried about McGee, but I suppose he has the lovely Delilah to turn to. But, I am also worried about Abby. She is still working there. And Ducky and Palmer! How are they going to react on Monday when they come in and we are not there? I am very worried about Gibbs!"

"It's not the first time Gibbs has run off. Gibbs will be fine," Tony promised her. "Trust me, Ziva. Gibbs will be fine. We can call McGee in the morning and Abby, too. If you want, we can call Ducky and Palmer and see how they are doing. We can tell them what we did so it won't be a surprise. Is that what you want to do?"

"I... I do not know, Tony," she said, lowering her gaze from his intense look.

Tony was wondering what else he could say to her to make this better for her. She was going to worry, but at least she was not the only one worrying about these things.

"I think we should leave it," she said suddenly. "If they want to talk, they will call, right? If they do not call soon, then we should call to see how they are. I mean, this was sudden and they need time to adjust to the change as well, right?"

"Probably," Tony said, thinking that he really did need time to adjust to all this, and knew the team well enough to know that they would need that time as well. "That sounds like a good idea, Ziva."

They sat in silence for another moment and then Ziva turned to face Tony again. There was some memory in her eyes that Tony could not place. He could not quite understand why her eyes were hurt.

"What?" he asked her gently.

"I am really sorry, Tony," she said quietly.

"For what?"

"For what I did in Israel," she said quietly, almost in a whisper.

"I told you, don't worry about that," Tony said almost as quietly, feeling nervous that she was bringing this up again, when they had already talked about it and decided that nothing was awkward between friends.

"But, I do, Tony. You told me… you said I was not alone. I... I should have just… I should have called you instead," she said to him timidly. "I feel… I feel like I have… betrayed you somehow."

Her voice was now a full whisper as she admitted what she was afraid to admit to herself. She really did feel like she had betrayed him and admitting this was difficult. But, she knew she had to tell him and get that off her mind before the rest of this discussion could continue. It was currently distracting her from her other thoughts.

Tony pulled her into a hug, wrapping his arms around her waist, and held her tightly. How could she feel that way? Yes, he had said the words. Yes, he had meant them as more than what they could have meant. Yes, he had felt betrayed. But, he was past that and she was still beating herself up. She had beaten herself up for it since the moment that she had acted without thinking. He could see that in her eyes now as she spoke. He just wanted to hold her now and comfort her. She was so vulnerable and she was breaking apart. But, the best part of this was that she had actually seen what he had meant and what he was really saying to her. And, she was still there with that realization in her mind. He had chosen a good time to tell her and a good way to convey it to her and it was paying off now, though not in the way he had expected it to.

"I know, Ziva," he whispered into her ear during his embrace. "I know. But, I have no reason to feel betrayed. Do not feel as though you have betrayed me, please. You understood what I meant. That makes me very happy."

She pulled back from him and looked deep into his green eyes. She was not sure what to say to him now, so she just stared at him. Yes, she had known what he meant, but now he knew, too, that she had known that for a long time. Where did that put them now?

A/N - Please review. Let me know what you think of the story so far.