Bella POV

We were all sitting in my living room and I'd never felt more uncomfortable. Emmett was trying to give Peter his final death by staring at him and sometimes he would start to growl.

Edward looked at me, probably still trying to read my mind.

Carlisle was sitting between Emmett and Edward. I bet he was talking to Edward through his mind and when Emmett growled Carlisle hit his leg.

Jasper was sitting next to Peter smiling like an idiot. Peter sat next to me and stared at Emmett, never breaking eye contact while caressing my hand.

And I...well I was sitting opposite to Edward trying to avoid his stare by being more than interested on the flowers on the table.

"Edwards no longer a virgin" Jasper suddenly said.

I turned to look at him and before anyone could say anything Emmett and Carlisle turned to Edward and screamed "What?".

And that was it. I couldn't hold the laughter in. And while I laughed like crazy the tears started running down my cheeks.

"Major whats wrong with her?" I heard Peter ask.

"She's having a nerves break down, I think. Her emotions are all over the place." he answered.

"Bella...sweetheart try to relax. Please you're scaring me!"

I could hear people all around me talking and before I knew what happened everything went black.

I opened my eyes I saw 4 pair of honey cold and one pair of red eyes staring down at me.

"What the hell?" I screamed and they all jumped away.

"You all come into my house and want me to accept this freaky story and you tell me you've been watching me for 10 years. Where have you been? Where have you been when I couldn't pay my rent and had to sleep at the church? Where have you been when my world started falling apart while dating all those weird guys? Where the fuck have you been when my father died and the only family left abandoned me? don't pretend like you care now!" I screamed and got off the couch when I felt someone grabbing m arm.

Turning around I saw Emmett standing behind me. "I was there. When you slept at the church. The whole night I was standing next to you making sure you were alright. When that weird guy-Tommy-touched you on your date and later called you names because you wouldn't sleep with him I beat him up. I was there Bella. All the time. I was protecting you. I missed you. When you had nightmares I would come to your room and hold you throughout the night. Sometimes I would slip money into your purse just to make sure you would have enough to buy food. Bella you're my little sister and I love you. Every day I wanted to grab you and keep you save from the world. Believe me when I say that you were never alone." Emmett said.

I didn't dare looking at him but when I did my heart broke. Emmett was crying. Really crying. Blood was running down his cheeks and he sobbed.

I walked up to him grabbed his hand and leaned my head against his chest. After a while I felt his arm go around my waist.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I...when you all left I was lost somehow. Not because I had lost love because I had lost a family. Ever since I was little girl I wondered what it was like to have a big family. And when I met you all I finally had that. I loved the way you would annoy me and I loved the way you would protect me, stand up for me. I love the fact that I knew Jasper would protect me as well. We may never talked that much but somehow I felt a connection. I loved Esme's cooking and her motherly character. I loved you fatherly side Carlisle. The things you could teach me and the way you would comfort me. I loved the way Alice would dress me up. It was annoying but I loved the talks we would always have. Rosalie was like that big sister: protecting me and still hating me in her own loving way. And suddenly it was all ripped from my hands and I didn't knew how to get it back. And than so much shit happened to me and I missed you. Edward said I would forget but I never did. And it hurt me so bad. I couldn't breathe and I couldn't scream. I was just...there. I wasn't living I was just a being on the planet. I ate and I drank and I worked and learned but I never felt. And now that I have you back I feel split apart. I want to run to, welcome you back in my world and act like nothing ever happened. But than I want to push you away. Keep my heart locked and be happy with the things I had." I sobbed.

"Bella what we did was cruel. And we all apologize to you. But we were blinded. Our reasons made us act. But you have to believe is that not a day passed by that we didn't miss you. Your laugh and your blush. The way you would lighten the whole family up. For the first time in over 400 years I felt like I needed to protect something. My family was always able to take care of its own. But you...you were so little so fragile. And sometimes I wondered what it would be like telling you all my stories, seeing the excitement in your eyes and I had hoped that once you were changed we would get closer but fate has other plans for you." Carlisle said.

"I don't want to lose you all again. I want to have you by my side." I whispered. "If I let you in again how will I know that you won't break my heart again. There are reasons to believe that you will. If Peter and I stay together I can't come with you..."

"Why, angel?"

"Your lifestyle. You drink human blood. How would this work out?"

"For you my angel I will change. I can make that happen. If you want to stay with your family I will try as hard as somehow possible to stay on an animal diet."

"But there is still so much. I don't want you to change. I love you the way that you are. I just...i want to see the world. I wanna go to Italy to eat as much as possible. I wanna go to India to meditate. I wanna go to Brazil to dance, I wanna go to France to drink whine...I wanna see the world. I wanna travel all around it. How can I with a family?"

"Bella being in a family doesn't mean you have to do everything they do. We love you and if you want to see the world do it. We will support you. In everything you do. No matter how hard the times get. We will stand beside you." Jasper said and took my hand.

"You would do that for me?"

"Bella if we have to we would destroy the world for you just to make all your wishes come true. You are worth it. Believe me. We just want you to live." he answered and smiled down at me.

"I can't let you in right now. But I will open my heart to welcome the family I once lost." I answered and sighed.

A few day later I still didn't knew where the girls way and somehow I didn't care. Being with guys was more than a lot of fun.

I had taken 2 weeks off, saying I wasn't feeling so good. They believed I was in shock from the 'false attack'.

Peter and I spend the days with the family but the evening and night always was for us.

Peter would take me out to dinner and than we took a walk around the park.

One night we went to the movies and one night we went to the theater to watch 'Hamlet'.

At night he would sit next to my bed and read me poems or novels. Or we would just talk. The mornings we would spend out in the backyard with the family.

Soon it was time for me to go back to work and I really didn't want to go. I suddenly noticed that going to work meant I couldn't spend enough time with Peter. Now I had to share my evenings with everyone.

After my first day I came home late. My feet burned and back hurt. I was in a bad mood and was hungry.

Just when I was about to open the door Peter stood in front of me.

"Come one angel. The tub is filled and dinner is in making." he said and lifted me into his arms.

Once in the bathroom he slipped of my shoes and started to open my dress. Over the last 2 weeks I had started to become more comfortable around him. Even though we didn't do anything I didn't have a problem showing myself in underwear in front of him. But never naked.

Peter left the bathroom after giving me a few quick kisses and I slipped into the bath tub.

I didn't know how long I had been in there but when the smell of food hit my nose I started to get up.

I dried of put on my short silky nightgown and a robe and went downstairs.

"Hello angel. How was your bath?" Peter asked.

"It was wonderful until I smelled the food. Now I'm more than hungry."

Peter chuckled and took my hand, leading me into the kitchen.

While I ate we joked a little and had fun.

"Where are the others?"

"Well Edward had to go back to Alaska for a few days, Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper went hunting and will stay at the hotel for tonight and tomorrow they will come and say goodbye. Well Jasper will stay."

"They're leaving?"

"Not really. Emmett has to go back to college and Carlisle has to go back to work. Jasper wanted to stay with us if its alright with you?"

"I would love that. But when will I see the others again?"

"Well today I talked to your boss and...I...please don't get mad...you could get a few weeks of...well more like a year...well..."

"Peter..."

"OK. So I talked to your boss and I could arrange for you to get a year off work but you'd still have to read scripts and give your opinion. We could travel a little, visit the family...what do you think?"

"That sound wonderful... I would love that?"

"Bella can I ask you a question?"

"anything"

"Today I found a script...that you have written..."

"Yes. I always loved writing but nothing was ever good enough I guess."

"That is part two of my plan. Your boss said that if you would write a book about your journey he would suggest publishing it."

"Wow."

"You don't have to do those things I just...I wanted to do something for you...Something which I hoped you liked."

"I would love to do this but..."

"No buts Bella. Just say yes and we'll do this."

"OK...yes" I laughed.

Was this right? Could I trust him so easily? But what he did was amazing. I always wanted to travel, write my own books. I just wanted to be me. Ad somehow I felt like with Peter I could do this.

Later that evening Peter and I were sitting on the couch and read a script together. It was more than cheesy and every once in a while, when a sentence was more than horrible, Peter would jump up and do his most dramatic appearance. And would be lying on the floor laughing and crying.

"Tell me Peter. If you had the chance what pick up line would you use on me?" I suddenly asked.

"Your lips look so lonely. Would they like to meet mine?" he said and pressed his lips to mine.

I sighed...like I always did when we kissed. After a while he distanced our lips and looked into my eyes while running his thumb over my cheek and started to whisper:

"*Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love,
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
Oh, no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests.. and is never shaken.
It is the star to every wandering bark
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love is not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come.
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out.. even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved."

I pressed my lips back to his, climbed onto his lap and grounded myself against him.

My heart beat was going wild and all I wanted him to do was kiss me and make love to me. I wanted him to rip my gown off and bury his face into my...

"How cheesy is that? We leave you guys alone and you try to get in to my sister nightgown with poems. Shame on you!" we heard from the door. Emmett...

I grabbed a pillow, pressed onto my head and groaned. If he kept this up I would be a horny teenager again soon.

*Sonnet CXVI by William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)

I hope you all are well. Thank for those lovely reviews, they are like poems to my heart. ;)

here is the next chapter and please don't hate me for ending it that way.

Next chapter will bring a little more informations on the girls and we get to see the planing of the trip...

lets see how that will work out.

Next chapter will be up tomorrow I think.

But I made it so far. (LoL my computer always wants to change 'made it' into 'mated')

See you all tomorrow...

love & hugs

banygirl