Disclaimer: Victorious, Its characters and associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.
Chapter 3 – Boulevard of Broken Dreams
New York City, Friday November 6th, 2020
No one's POV
"Are you sure you're going to be alright Tori? I can stay with you." Cat said her voice filled with concern.
Tori looked around her apartment and sat down on the couch and rubbed her face in her hands.
"You don't need to stay, I won't do anything stupid"
Cat wasn't quite convinced however. She moved to the couch and sat down next to her friend.
Tori couldn't cry anymore tonight, she had cried all the way home from the theatre. She was exhausted both emotionally and physically. "Thanks for driving me home, Cat. I could have taken the subway."
"Me and Beck are there for you, anytime, you know that Tori" Cat said trying to be reassuring.
"Why did Jade leave me again?" Said Tori, her voice hardly above a whisper.
Cat searched her mind in vain for an answer, some kind of explanation. "I'm sorry honey, I don't know."
Tori just sort of stared off into space. "She didn't even look like My Jade anymore?"
Cat had only seen Jade for a few seconds as she got up from her seat and left right after the curtain went down. It bothered Cat enormously that she didn't recognize one of her best friends.
Cat looked over at Tori, she was pretty busted up inside. It worried Cat enormously. Her mind went back to the night of Tori's birthday, the one immediately following Jade's sudden disappearance. Cat utterly hated thinking about that night. "Can't have a repeat of that" Cat thought to herself quietly.
Cat took Tori's hands in hers. "I need to know, you're not going to do anything?"
"No Cat, I won't, you don't have to stay" said Tori.
"Promise"
Tori nodded her head, "I promise, now get home to your husband."
Cat Kissed Tori on the forehead and gave her a hug. "I'll call you tomorrow"
Tori walked Cat out and locked the door.
As soon as the door was locked Tori leaned her back up against it and just sunk to the floor, tear's managing to flow once again.
"Jade!" she cried out.
After a few minutes of sitting there she managed to get herself back up and walk to the kitchen. She opened a cabinet and pulled out a bottle of Vodka. She then pulled out some orange juice from the fridge and a tall glass from the dish drainer. She filled the glass about 1/3 of the way full with vodka and the rest with orange juice. She then sat down in front of the tv, but didn't even bother to turn it on. It took about 5 minutes to polish that off. The buzz hit her quick and hard, which was exactly what she wanted. Anything to deaden the pain.
"Why jade, why" said tori as she got up from the couch. She was now a mixture of deep depression, alcohol and anger.
"What in the fuck did I do wrong?" Tori yelled out as she threw the glass against the wall across the room. The glass hit the wall and exploded.
Seeing Jade and then having her vanish again ripped open all the old wounds in her heart. They were wound's that had never healed in the first place.
Tori didn't know what to think, for so many years she hoped and prayed she would see Jade again, just to have her vanish like she was never there.
Leaving the shattered pieces of glass on the floor she walked to her bedroom and started getting ready for bed.
She sat on the bed and started to mechanically get undressed. After a few moments she paused when she saw her tattoo the Yang symbol on her right ankle. She sat there tracing its outline with her finger and the imaginary outline of the other half of it that was on Jade's ankle.
Another wonderful day that was, when we got it, Tori thought back. They were eating lunch at a little restaurant next door to the tattoo place.
"It's not going to hurt that much you big crybaby, we can get the tattoos as soon as we finish lunch." said Jade she stabbed her salad with a fork.
"Jade, just run though this with me one more time, what does yours mean and what does mine mean."
Jade Frowned "If you actually listened to me the first 2 or 3 times I explained it I wouldn't have to again."
Tori tilted her head to one side "I just get distracted by your beauty sometimes, once I start looking at certain things on your person, my mind goes elsewhere."
Jade smiled "Followed usually by your hands, not that I mind that, but occasionally I do have something to say. I'll buy that this time. The Yin and Yang are two opposing forces. But they are interconnected and interdependent on each other. You can't have night without day and day without night. They can't exist without each other and cannot stand alone. They balance each other. Mine is Yin which is considered the dark energy, It also stands for moon, cold, night, stillness, winters, Rivers and few other things."
"Dark energy certainly explains you" said Tori with a smile.
Jade Smirked "Your funny Vega, so funny you can sleep by yourself tonight."
Tori Frowned "I'm sorry, my beautiful, loving, kind and sexy girlfriend."
Jade smiled once again as she finished her salad, "That's much better, yours is the Yang which is the light energy it stand for active, enlightenment, bright, sun, strong, creation, expanding, movement, mountains and a few other things."
Jade paused for a moment.
"In each section there is a dot of the other color, which means in each of the forces there is a part of the other." Jade took Tori's hand. "The two forces, like us, need each other, balance each other out, each is only a part of the whole and only together are we truly whole. All that and it looks cool anyway."
Tori leaned over and kissed her girlfriend, "it all fits. Well my beautiful dark energy girlfriend, come on let's get those tattoos so we can go back to my place and balance each other out afterward."
Jade's only reply was a rather large smile…
Tori got off the bed and looked out the window. It was late, past 10 o'clock now so the street below was mostly deserted for an occasional car. She didn't live in too bad a neighborhood, so it wasn't too unusual to see someone walking by below at night. Usually going to one of the bars or restaurants up and down the street.
She watched a young couple below walking by, holding hands. It was unseasonably warm so they were not wearing coats, but looked well dressed. She was wearing a nice green dress and he was dressed up in a nice grey suit. They probably had a date at the Italian place just up the street. Judging by their body language they looked very happy and in love. Seeing that just made Tori feel more alone and unwanted.
"Why don't you love me anymore Jade?" Tori said as she turned her attention to a female jogger running by on the street below. She was wearing grey sweats and with a ponytail coming out from under a baseball cap. She was going at a pretty good clip, though as the jogger was passing in front of her building she stopped for some reason. The Jogger leaned over and put her hands on her knees as if to catch her breath. The jogger stood up and paced back and forth for a second. After a second the Jogger kicked a trash can over seemingly in frustration or something, then resumed running. "What do you know about problems? Probably broke a god damm nail or something." Tori thought.
In a fit sudden rage Tori opened the window and yelled at the jogger below. "Leave our garbage cans alone you dumbfuck."
The jogger's only reply was a extended middle finger as she disappeared down the street.
After that Tori got ready for bed and turned out the lights. As she lay there in bed she just felt herself sinking deeper and deeper into depression. He feeling of self worth, which hadn't been very good in years, simply disappeared. "Jade doesn't want me anymore" she said to herself. "I thought you loved me Jade, I thought you needed me Jade" she said quietly to the dark room. As she began to drift into what would be a fitful dreamless sleep, one question kept floating around her head.
"Why don't you love me anymore?"
End of Chapter 3
The title of this chapter is reference to the Green day Song of the same name.