A/N: And the story of our two leading ladies continues. Currently at this point, we're still in the story's baby stages so I'm still trying to craft the world setting in this AU. There's a bit of tension in this chapter, along with some angst (as will be usual in this story) as well as some hint at backstory at last. Thank you to everyone who reviewed, followed, and favorited! I'm really glad you're all enjoying the angst in this story! It's been a while since I've written a story that's depressing from the get-go, but it looks like I'm not too rusty with my angst skills. And I just want to reiterate that the Elsanna will eventually come, but for now the focus will be on the sisters as they try to get used to living together again. Enjoy!
Don't want to sing another song without you
"You look stressed out."
She blinked and lifted her gaze from the countertop, turning away from staring at the spaces between her fingers to see who had addressed her.
A pair of violet-gray eyes stared back at her, with one fine brown eyebrow quirked. She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.
"I'm not stressed out, Meg," Elsa mumbled.
Meg grunted as she slid onto the stool next to her and rested her elbows on the glass counter. "I didn't say you were. I said you looked stressed out. And you do. You've got bags under your eyes that are darker and deeper than a sunken ship, Blondie. Let me guess, the lost treasure down in those bags is full of dark, murderous thoughts about our boss? I know mine always are, you can tell me."
Elsa grumbled an incomprehensible reply and stared down into her martini, gently swirling the glass of clear liquid. All around her she heard the buzz of electronic dance music, the club's neon lights flashing in straight rays in her peripheral vision. There were waves of neon blue, pink, and green all around her, swarming at the corners of her eyes. The beat of the current song resounded in her temple and she felt the vibrations of the music in her limbs. She sighed and rubbed her temples, feeling a headache beginning to pulse. Things weren't helped by the amount of alcohol she had intaked, though in her defense she hadn't actually drunk that much. It just felt as if she had.
And why do you think that is?
She slammed the idea down before it could fully form. Elsa grabbed her martini and took another sip and when she set it down, the glass clinked with a greater force than she had intended. Placing her chin onto the countertop, she mumbled absentmindedly, "Remind me why I came here?"
Everything is too loud, too bright and too dark at the same time. There are too many people here. This was such a ridiculous idea and yet here I am.
Meg gave her a look as she tried to wave over the bartender, mumbling offhandedly, "Beats me Blondie. You're not the type for clubbing. Totally caught me off guard when you accepted our invitation to go out tonight. Think my jaw made contact with the floor when you said sure." She paused for a few minutes to order her drink to the young bartender in front of her. Then, she turned back to Elsa and frowned slightly, a wry smile on her lips. "Thought you'd rather go home and fall into a coma the minute your head hit the pillow, considering all the work you've been doing for the Boss. You certainly look like you need it."
Home.
She winced.
She didn't want to go home. Home was the very reason she had accepted her coworkers' invite in the first place.
Meg noticed her flinch and raised a brow. Though light, her words were filled with caution as she asked, "Trouble at the humble abode?"
"No," Elsa deflected, sharp and quick, as she took a sip from her glass. This time, she allowed the flavor to swirl on her tongue and it sent a pleasant scorching down her throat. It was wonderfully distracting.
Meg tapped a finely manicured nail on the glass counter and glanced up and down the bar as she waited for her drink. Elsa savored her friend's silence, lips planted on the rim of her glass as she listened to the blaring sounds of the club. The pounding in her head was still there, but her drink was helping her to ignore it. Perfect.
After a few more tense minutes, Meg glanced back at her and stilled her fingers, bracing them on the counter's edge before she asked, "This wouldn't have anything to do with you-know-who would it?"
The pleasant numbness from her drink went dead.
"I've no idea what you're talking about," Elsa replied, voice clipped and shoulders rising up to her ears. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Meg's eyebrow quirk higher, but she made no move to ask Meg for clarification on her question or explain her own curt tone.
It's really nothing. I shouldn't be this tense about it. I can take time out of my week to spend time with my friends. To hang out. Get away from work, relieve some stress. That's not unusual. Even if I don't really like this place.
She sounded horribly unconvincing even in her own head. Elsa's mouth set into a thin line and her blue eyes bore a hole into her drink, as if trying to freeze the clear liquid.
There's nothing I'm trying to avoid at home. There's nothing wrong at home.
She raised her glass and took another sip.
You just have a stranger waiting for you back at home.
A shiver ran down her spine and her jaw hardened. She took another small, quick sip and noticed Meg shift beside her. The bartender finally returned with her drink, setting the scotch glass in front of the slim brunette. When Meg set it aside without even taking a sip, Elsa knew she should be worried for whatever was coming next.
The brunette fixed her with a measured look, brow furrowed deeply. There was no sign of her usual sarcasm and cynical smiles, every trace of them bereft from her face. "Seriously Blondie, what's eating you?" she asked, leaning closer to Elsa.
Elsa leaned away.
"Nothing Meg," she stressed. Unfortunately, the rise of her shoulders hunching up to just beneath her ears, with her clipped and exasperated voice, did nothing to deter her friend.
"Well you never go out and—don't give me that look it's the truth," she grumbled when Elsa shot her a baleful glare, "you never go out, but you decided to go out with us tonight. Despite the fact that you're practically dead on your feet. What gives?" Her violet eyes looked the blonde up and down, the corner of her mouth dipping down.
"It's nothing," Elsa repeated, softer this time, realizing that Meg was only worried. She didn't want to talk though. She felt drained, her body worn out and her vision blurring with all the sights and sounds. The pounding in her head thudded along with the beat of the music, in a one, two, and three step. She watched the neon lights play over her free hand, eyelids falling to half mast as they gave color to her skin.
Except that it wasn't nothing.
It couldn't be nothing.
She was exhausted, mentally and emotionally worn out from work—stretched thin and tight and pulled in every corner. The past several weeks had been hell, dealing with her superiors and certain coworkers. Including her boss. Especially her boss. Mr. Weselton, had been almost relentless in his demands from her on the entirety of her current project, a constant, raspy breath down her neck several hours a day, five days a week. The only saving grace at her workplace had been the few people she considered friendly. But even they, knowing and understanding her frustrations with Weselton as well, couldn't obliterate the oppressive and suffocating air that hung over her during office hours at times. She wouldn't nothing more than to go home those times, lie down on her couch and watch television or curl up in her bed and read a book. Or just curl up in bed and fall into a coma, as Meg had said.
But—
I don't want to go home. Or talk about home. Or even think about home.
Elsa sighed softly, shutting her eyes completely and pressing a hand to her temple.
"So am I right? Is this about the baby sis you never talk about?"
The tension in her nerves increased one-hundredfold. The breath she'd been inhaling cut sharply through her and caught in her throat. Her eyes snapped open and she jerked her head up, staring at Meg, mouth open. The brunette fixed her with a serious expression, lips set in a tight line.
"Look, Elsa, I know you're really stressed out right now, but—" Meg began and the blonde could hear the worry in her voice, "you need to go home. Eventually. Probably soon. Like, really soon. Preferably soon, you look like you're gonna pass out soon. If someone blew air on you you'd fall over, I swear to god. You need to go home. And sleep. A lot. You can't just hole yourself up in the office forever, 24/7."
Elsa looked away, jaw tightening. She stared at a spot on one of the bar's shelves behind the counter, eyes narrowing at the mismatched, dark stain. Her shoulders trembled a little bit and a burning wetness stung the back of her eyes.
Meg watched her quietly, gaze softening. After a moment, she sighed and said, "You're gonna have to face the girl eventually."
She would have to go home at some point. Tonight. Maybe. Her stomach twisted and she swallowed thickly. The blonde nodded and mumbled, "I know."
But, just let me postpone it a little longer.
She was tired, so tired—stretched thin and tight and pulled in every corner.
She wanted nothing more than to go home.
She was scared to go home.
Raising her glass and tipping her head back, Elsa downed the rest of her drink in one go.
When she got to the apartment, she wasn't really sure what she was expecting. She already knew Elsa wouldn't be back by the time she had slipped through the door. The apartment was exactly the same way she had left it. Everything still in place. Pristine, yet impersonal.
Seriously, what was I expecting?
A warm welcome, maybe.
Anna's shoulders dropped and she sighed as she stood in the doorway. A wave of sudden exhaustion swept over her, similar to the one she had felt last night. She would have loved a warm welcome. Her bones ached to be wrapped up in familiar and unfamiliar arms.
But this was California—South California. This was Los Angeles. Streetlights and smog, sunshine and sand. Pollution in her eyes and in her lungs. Graffiti markings on the sidewalk one second and clandestine houses the next. The so-called city of angels.
Not her city. Not New York City. Not rain and skyscrapers, subways and taxis.
Not home. This wasn't home.
But I'm going to be living here for the next four years.
Anna's chest tightened and she swallowed thickly.
Hopefully.
She took a few steps forward to stand just inside the apartment, limply holding the bag of groceries, slowly turning her gaze this way and that, taking in her surroundings once again.
It was bare and empty and lonely and cold.
So, I have to make this place home.
Squaring her shoulders, she hopped out of her shoes and left them by the door, stumbling her way further in. She'd only made it a couple feet farther when she turned on her heel and scurried back to her shoes. Picking them up, she moved to place them neatly by the wall next to the door this time. She had made sure her shoes were—mostly—free of dirt when she had walked into the apartment. That was what her aunt had always wanted her to do. Maybe Elsa was the same. They were both quiet, respectable people with a penchant for cleanliness.
Maybe Elsa would notice her attempt at manners.
Maybe.
Sighing, she strode toward the kitchen and placed the grocery bags on the counter. Rummaging through them, Anna pulled out the pasta and asparagus. She glanced back and forth at the pasta and greens, frowning.
"It's just me tonight, so…" She licked her lips, brow still furrowed. Then she shrugged and opened the refrigerator. The light spilled out from it onto her face and her stomach twisted. The fluorescent bulbs made everything look slightly less impersonal, shedding some brightness onto the apartment floor, but at the cost of making her feel cold and causing her knees to shake and weaken. Anna pushed down the rolling feeling in her gut and placed the greens into what looked to be their correct compartments. She turned back to the remaining bag of groceries, biting her lower lip. The redhead pulled out the jar of ragu and set it on the counter. It clunked on the surface and the sound seemed louder than it should have been.
Oh come on you big baby. It's not like you're not used to this.
Anna bristled and glared at the bottle, fingers tightening around it. Her knuckles went white and she ground her teeth together, pensive.
Oh, screw it.
"It's just me tonight so if I want to eat like shit, I will," she grumbled.
She set to work, uncapping the sauce while turning on the oven. The sound of pots and pans clanging together filled the apartment. She liked the ruckus. It made her feel a little less lonely. Water hissed as she filled a large pot and began to cook the spaghetti. She let it boil until it was as hot as her eyes.
Anna left out the side dish she had thought about preparing. She didn't like sweet potatoes anyway.
A half hour later and she served herself a steaming plate of spaghetti, moving to sit at the small table. She stabbed her fork and swirled the noodles around, staring almost in a daze at her food. She wasn't hungry. She was so hungry. She hadn't had a proper meal in two days. The thought of eating made her stomach growl in desperation. The thought of eating made her stomach flip over in nausea.
She devoured her meal in minutes.
And when she finished her first serving she went for seconds.
"Should've just ordered Chinese, I hate pasta," she grumbled as she filled her plate again.
Her second serving took forever to get through.
And when she walked into her bedroom, dragging her feet on the floor, she felt the anger simmering in her veins leave her. Her stomach was full and heavy, but a hollow feeling in her chest made everything want to come back up. She didn't bother flicking on the lights. Instead, Anna crawled into her bed and curled up, knees to her chest. She pulled the covers up over her head and pressed her face deep into the pillows, sighed through her nose, and fell asleep.
It was the slam of the apartment door that jerked her out of her slumber.
It rang from the living room all the way down the hall to her bedroom. Her own door had been left ajar, but she hadn't expected how loud the noise would be. Disoriented and startled—brain foggy from some wayward dream—she jumped from the rumpled covers and cast a bleary gaze at the numbers of her alarm clock. The numbers glowed an angry red in the darkness of her bedroom, like car headlights in the dead of night.
3:05? What the…?
Throwing the covers off of her, Anna stumbled out of bed and made her way to the door. She poked her head out of her bedroom and looked down the hallway, blinking the sleepiness away from her head.
She didn't see anything right away. Anna frowned and walked down the hall, shoulders slumped. There was a thump, softer than the door slam, and she halted.
Elsa was setting her bag down by the kitchen counter. Her older sister's back was turned to her and her hair, though still kept in its braid, was unkempt and peeking out in strands. Her clothing was rumpled and even from this position Anna knew her make-up was smudged. She could see the foundation on Elsa's cheeks had been wiped. Her shoulders was slightly slouched and her work jacket was ruffled, the primly pressed suit wrinkled in a few places.
Anna's frown deepened. What the hell has she been doing all night?
"Did you just get home?"
Elsa gasped and whirled around, plait flying off her shoulder and smacking her directly on the mouth. Not that she noticed when she caught sight of Anna across the hallway. Her older sister placed a hand upon her chest, a flush settling on her cheeks.
"Oh god, Anna," Elsa heaved, inhaling and exhaling rapidly. She ran a hair through her bangs and Anna noticed they were left hanging by her face again. The blonde rubbed her eyes and sighed, dropping her hand. "Don't startle me like that."
Anna blinked and tilted her head. She almost asked why Elsa was so surprised, but thought better of it. Instead, the redhead shoved her hands into her pockets and shrugged, mumbling, "Sorry, the door woke me up."
Elsa flinched.
Damn it. Still the wrong thing to say.
Quickly, because she saw Elsa opening her mouth to explain, the redhead added, "So how'd your lunch go?"
Elsa shut her mouth immediately. Anna's stomach twisted at the blank expression on her sister's face and she bit her lip.
Did it go badly? I hope nobody was a jerk to her. She looks tired. Teal eyes honed on the dark bags underneath icy blue eyes. Scratch that, she is tired. Poor Elsa.
"It went fine."
Elsa's curt voice broke through her thoughts. Anna started and watched her sister turn around to face the sink. She flipped on the faucet and began to wash her hands.
Anna blinked and stared as water slid over thin wrists and pale skin. Something stirred in the back of her brain and she found that words had died part way up her throat.
Elsa always did take really good care of her hands.
She couldn't pull her eyes away. She swallowed. There was a lump in her throat. It wouldn't go away.
"Shouldn't you be in bed?"
Anna snapped her head up. Elsa glanced over her shoulder and for a moment their eyes met. She froze and her stomach flipped when she stared into that—familiar—unfamiliar blue.
A sudden heat—followed by a quick chill—ran down the back of her neck.
Anna looked away, stuttering, "I-I was in bed. I went to bed soon as I finished dinner." Which you weren't here to share with, she wanted to say, but she held back her retort. Instead, when she noticed Elsa begin to frown, she added, "I'll go back to bed in a bit."
Elsa blinked and surprise—she thought it was surprise—flashed across her face. Then her expression softened and she turned off the water, grabbing a towel to dry off her hands. Anna's knees trembled when the tiniest of smiles curved on the corner of her sister's lips.
Wow.
"Okay," Elsa said, nodding. The tension in the air lessened and Anna relaxed a bit. "Sorry I woke you," her sister added, shooting her an apologetic, tender look.
Anna's heart skipped a beat and the lump in her throat felt several times bigger.
"It's fine," she mumbled, breaking their gaze because she couldn't stand to look Elsa in the eye for some reason. She shuffled her feet and rubbed the back of her neck. "I just wanted to know what the ruckus was about." Softly, she muttered, "I didn't expect to see you until morning."
She cursed her lack of grace.
Elsa's spine straightened and her eyes hardened. Anna's stomach coiled tightly and she balled her hands into fists. Her older sister turned around, opening the fridge and rummaging through it. Anna blinked, brow furrowing. She bit her lip, watching her sister grab a bottle of water and uncap it.
Is she even going to answer me?
Anna shifted her weight and clutched her arm. "So, uh, what took you so long?"
Elsa swallowed a large gulp of water and set the bottle down. Anna felt a rush of relief when it didn't slam against the counter. Maybe I didn't make her mad after all.
"I told you," her sister began, voice low and clipped, "I was going to go back to work after dinner with my friends. My boss has been pushing everyone harder on this project than usual because he wants to see quicker results."
Is this why you're not getting any sleep?
She desperately wanted to ask about the bags underneath Elsa's eyes, about how she seemed paler than Anna remembered, about—just about something.
But I don't really know Elsa.
So, instead, Anna tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and looked away, saying, "Maybe you can call in sick for work tomorrow?" The tension lining her sister's shoulders grew. Anna dug her tooth harder into her bottom lip. "I mean, I don't think missing one day would be so bad." She saw Elsa take her hand off the bottle and begin to wring her fingers together. Anna ducked her head and whispered gently, "You're tired Els—"
"Some of us have to work Anna."
It hit her straight in the chest. Anna jerked her head back to stare at Elsa, blinking rapidly. Her sister's back was still to her and she tilted her head to the side, eyebrows knitting together.
"One day off isn't going to get you fired Elsa," she said. The hair on the back of her neck rose and she suddenly felt cold in the apartment. Something in her hissed that she shouldn't continue. She ignored the voice in the back of her brain. "You probably have a lot of sick days left anyway," the redhead snorted. "Would it be so bad to stay home for a little while?"
Elsa sighed and Anna's stomach dropped at the way her shoulders slumped. The blonde turned around, finally facing her and her heart dropped along with her stomach at the clear exhaustion in her sister's blue eyes.
"Anna, I can't do that. This project is incredibly important to my work right now." She bit her lip and Anna marveled for a moment at the similarity. "And if I don't go to work, it'll be a lot harder on my coworkers. They really need me for this job," Elsa whispered softly, staring down at her hands.
Anna frowned, fingers twitching. She wanted to do something. Reach out to Elsa. Brush her knuckles along her sister's hands, pry apart her fingers, and delicately intertwine their fingers together. Maybe to soothe her. Or just be close to her. Her heart thudded in her chest and she stared at Elsa's heels.
"But," Anna started, eyes darting from side to side, "I still wish you'd come home for dinner."
Elsa sighed and rubbed her temples, eyes shut. "It was just one dinner Anna." She opened her eyes and fixed Anna with a mixture of exasperation and affection. "I promise I'll come home for the next one."
She wished so badly she could say what she was thinking.
Are you avoiding me?
But it had only been two days since they started living together and she was reminded, yet again, that she didn't really know Elsa so she wasn't sure if this behavior was common for her older sister.
It could be both though.
She pushed the thought to the back of her mind and swayed on the heels of her feet. "It's fine, I didn't mind." She ignored the way Elsa's eyes narrowed at her. "I just, you know," she gestured uselessly, biting her lower lip, "didn't know when you'd be home. I mean, I know you said we'd see each other in the morning, but I didn't know you'd still be at your office. Well, I-I mean, I knew you'd be at your office, but, like, I didn't know where you'd be after. Wasn't sure if you'd go out with your friends again. Or something."
That sounded nonsensical even in her own head. She hated it. She wasn't an awkward, gangly teenager anymore. She would be turning twenty-one soon, so why was she acting so nervous around her older sister?
Come on brain. Work correctly. Make mouth speak words correctly. I know you can do it.
Elsa, who had been staring at her with increasing confusion, frowned and turned to pick up her bottle again. Raising the top of it to her mouth, she muttered, "Of course I'd come home from work right after. Did you think I was going to stay out all night?"
Anna shuffled and stuffed her hands back in her pockets. She glanced down at her socks. They were oddly colorful against the wood flooring and clashed because of it. "Well, it is 3 AM," she pointed out, glancing at the blonde from beneath her eyelashes.
Elsa lowered the bottle and pinched the bridge of her nose. Anna chewed on her lip. Elsa seemed to do that a lot.
Does she do it when she's frustrated or…?
Anna opened her mouth to say that, really, she'd just been worried, that it was no big deal and that Elsa didn't have to explain herself, when her sister looked up and fixed her with a tired gaze.
"Of course I would come home from work Anna. Where else would I go?" She paused and licked her lips, eyes darting across the room before they settled back on Anna. She seemed just as unable to meet her gaze as Anna. Seemed. In a quiet murmur, as she lifted her water bottle again, she added, "I wouldn't stay out at god knows what hour of the morning doing who knows what like you used to do when we were teenagers."
Anna recoiled, eyes wide.
That stung.
As soon as the words had left her mouth, a look of regret flashed across Elsa's stricken face. She jerked her head back to Anna, blue eyes widening. The bottle shook slightly in her thin hand.
"Oh," she whispered when Anna's jaw went slack. Her skin fought between paling and flushing with horror and astonishment. "No, Anna," Elsa stressed, lower lip trembling, "I… I didn't mean anything by that. I just—"
Anna looked away sharply, ducking her head and shrugging her shoulders. She hoped—prayed—Elsa hadn't seen the shine on her eyes. More than anything, she didn't want to be caught crying on her second day here. It made her sick to her stomach already that she had broken down the first night.
"No it's- It's fine," she mumbled, gaze downcast. She shuffled her feet, forcing a crooked smile quirking on her lips. "So your night went okay?" Elsa kept staring at her, bringing her water bottle close to her chest and biting her lip harder. Hurriedly, Anna took a step back and jerked her thumb towards her bedroom. "Okay cool, I'm going back to bed."
She swiveled on her heel.
She heard Elsa take a half-step toward her, heel clacking loudly against the floor. "Anna, I swear I didn't—"
"It's fine," Anna croaked, face flushing. She was glad her sister couldn't see because she doubted she would be able to hide how red her skin was or how her eyes were beginning to water.
Elsa persisted, following after her. It was a first and a part of Anna yelled at her to turn around and rush back to her older sister. Nearly twenty-one years old be damned.
"I shouldn't have- I'm sorry, I'm tired from work," Elsa cried out and she knew instinctively the blonde was wringing her hands together.
"No, it's- Don't worry about it, I shouldn't have have bugged you," she mumbled, turning in the direction of her room.
"Anna." Elsa's voice was pleading. She wanted to look at the blonde's face, wanted to know if her eyes were just as sorry as her words.
But the comment dug under her skin.
"I said it's fine," she called over her shoulder, still walking down the hallway. Her pulse thudded in her ears, but it couldn't drown out the shuffle of her retreating footsteps.
Elsa didn't respond—not even an indiscernible noise—and the silence that followed weighed on her shoulders like iron. Her heart dropped a few inches more. She hastened her footsteps.
Anna sighed as she crossed the short hallway and stepped back into the safety her new bedroom. She closed the door quietly, hand lingering on the knob when it clicked shut. A part of her still didn't want Elsa to think she was badly hurt. Elsa hadn't meant it, she told herself. Of course Elsa hadn't meant anything by it. It was a slip of the tongue, she told herself. Her sister was tired, she had probably been half-asleep on her feet. If she'd been awake she'd have exuded her usual cautious tact.
Yeah. That's it. Elsa's tired. I should've just let her slip in the apartment and go to bed without bothering her. She wouldn't have said that otherwise.
She swallowed thickly.
Right?
The redhead stared at her doorknob for a moment before exhaling and letting go, shoulders slumped. She turned around and dragged her feet to her bed, flopping down on it face first. Anna groaned into her pillow, "That was terrible. I can't even have a proper 'hey I was worried about you, you came home so late' talk thingy—err, conversation, whatever—with my sister without mucking things up."
She huffed and turned her head in the direction of her bedroom window to listen to the sound of early morning traffic. Anna closed her eyes and let herself be lulled into a daze, feeling the vestiges of sleep tugging at her, pulling in temptation at the weariness of her bones.
The sound of blaring trucks and cars echoed in her ears, merging with drumming of her pulse as she fell farther into a doze. She was close to sleep, already on the beginning edge of a dream, when a flash of Elsa's stricken face flew across her mind.
Anna snapped her eyes open and groaned.
"It wasn't even a bad comment or anything," she mumbled, trying to console herself. There was no real reason that she should have been this upset, she reasoned.
It's not like it wasn't true.
She rolled over and stared at her ceiling.
Maybe that was why.
Anna dug into the back pocket of her jeans and pulled out her phone, staring at it with a glum pout. It was six AM in New York. Her aunt and uncle would be awake, and so would Rapunzel be. She was tempted to call her cousin and talk about how the last two days had been going. Or rather, how they had not been going. Again.
Hey Punz, it's me Anna. I'm just calling to check in with you and talk about how I suck at having a proper conversation with my sister. But hey, on the bright side, we've actually been able to hold each other to conversation for more than five sentences! That's progress, isn't it? I mean if you can ignore the fact that we can't really avoid making each other frustrated and awkward. But hey! At least we're face to face now right?
Anna sighed and her pout shifted into a frown. She gently placed her phone next to her pillow. Rapunzel wouldn't enjoy her sullen attempt at humor.
Okay, scratch that idea.
Elsa's horrified expression and hurt voice flashed through her head. Anna's jaw tightened with a grimace.
Yeah, definitely scratch that idea.
She rolled back onto her stomach and stuffed her face into her pillow. It wasn't that she and Elsa weren't getting along. Well, they weren't. But things weren't terrible for them. They weren't bad.
But they're not good either.
Anna shifted to lay on her side, staring at the night lights that peeked from her window.
No matter her fumbling attempts, the tension between them was like a rope she couldn't cut. Every opportunity seemed to be spent with them tiptoeing around each other.
Like we're headless chickens who don't know what to do. Or even worse, headless pigeons. Something like that.
She sighed and grabbed the edge of her blanket, pulling it overself and burying her face in her covers.
She missed New York so badly. She missed home.
She didn't even notice I left my shoes by the door, all neat and clean and polite and stuff.
That bugged Anna more than anything.
The lights were off. That wasn't unusual, she hadn't bothered to turn on her lights in the first place. What was unusual was how much it bothered her.
Anna rose up from her bed and frowned sleepily at her light switch. The dimness of her room made her skin crawl and she fumbled in her sheets, hand searching for her cell phone. The light of the screen and Rapunzel's number was familiar and soothing. She crossed her legs under her, hunching over her screen and rapidly texting her cousin a quick message.
"LA is nice. Weather is nice. Hope you're all okay back home—" She paused and stared at her message, then pressed back a few more characters. "Hope you're all okay back in NYC. Call you later?"
There was a beep and not even a minute later, her cousin had responded.
"Happy to hear that! I'll call you soon and we can talk for a while about how things are going. I have free time off work for once! Love you, Anna."
The array of hearts following Rapunzel's message and the brightness of her phone quelled the tossing and turning in her stomach. The lack of light only served as a reminder of how things had been before she'd been shipped off from Pennsylvania to live with her relatives in New York.
Alright, perhaps being bothered by dark rooms wasn't unusual at all for her. She just wished the feeling didn't have to come back while living with Elsa.
Taking in a big breath of air, Anna shut her eyes for a moment and allowed the discontent to wash through. "Alright, day three, here we go!" she whispered to herself, hissing through gritted teeth.
The redhead jumped out of bed and jogged down the hallway. She didn't bother looking at her sister's door. It would be closed and locked as always. Instead, she headed right for the kitchen, ignoring the idea of a shower for now. She slid along the wood floor on her socks, a grin spreading across her face for the first time in hours.
"Hey Elsa, are you getting ready for—!"
Anna skidded to a halt just past the end of the hallway, flailing her arms and grabbing at the wall to prevent herself from falling. She huffed, nostrils flaring and her chest heaving, more out of surprise than anything else. The excited grin on her face dropped and she slouched.
Elsa was gone.
Typical.
The redhead bit the inside of her cheek, eyes rolling in thought.
Well should I really have expected anything else? I kind of left her in a bad spot last night. She probably thought we both needed space. Yeah, that's probably what we really need. Just some time to get used to each other. I should stop stressing out about things so much. It'll be fine.
"Right?" she quipped. Anna blinked for a few minutes before shaking her head. "Wait, just me here." Still, she couldn't help but say to herself, "So should I shower first or—"
A loud growl erupted from her stomach. Anna glanced down at it, eyes widening.
"So. Breakfast. Yeah, let's do that first." She stared at the empty kitchen. The silence answered her back. Anna chewed on her lip and shrugged, walking over to the cabinet. "Well, cereal is always a tried and true answer."
She rummaged through the pantry, standing on her tiptoes, before her eyebrows began to rise. "How does Elsa even look through half her stuff here? She's barely taller than me." Huffing, Anna turned around and grabbed a chair, sticking it up against the corner so she could access the cabinet more easily.
Spices, herbs, tea packages, oatmeal, granola bars, and several other assortments met her eyes. Anna blinked, tilting her head to the side.
I guess I was right about Elsa being into healthy stuff.
She couldn't concentrate on the slight, pleasant thrill that vibrated in her chest at the thought because she quickly noticed that there weren't any cereal boxes in sight. There were, however, several boxes of the same whole wheat brand. She grabbed one and stared at it, wrinkling her nose. She flipped it, checking the nutrition information. The fiber was higher than what she normally ate.
"Okay, obviously Elsa would never eat things like, I dunno, Fruit Loops or Lucky Charms," she mumbled, staring at the box. Things that I like.
The thought shot through her and reminded her of their various differences. The positive energy she had been trying to muster up evaporated. Anna placed the cereal box back into the cabinet and grabbed a can of oatmeal.
"Oatmeal it is then." She sighed and closed the cabinet after making sure everything was back in its original place. She was certain Elsa didn't like things to be out of order too.
Then the redhead hopped off her chair and began to prepare her simple breakfast.
At least it has cinnamon in it.
Several minutes later and she was at the kitchen table, munching on a spoonful and checking her phone. She flipped through her browser, tracking the route to her university.
"I guess I should visit the campus today," she mumbled, staring down at her bowl. "It looks like it'll take me about an hour by bus. That's not so bad."
It'll give me something to do.
And she vastly needed something to do. The lack of activity had left her restless and her fingers kept tapping against the table surface. The silent apartment was making her muscles tense. The past two days, coupled with sitting around and waiting for hours on end at the airport, had been the longest time she was forced to sit still in a while.
It made her skin crawl being stuck in the apartment like this. Her aunt's place had been bigger, but there had been other people in the house at least. Here, she was alone.
Anna's brow furrowed and she scooped another spoonful of oatmeal. "Definitely going to check out the campus today," she muttered around the mildly sweet mixture.
One single-person breakfast over and done, she hopped into the shower and quickly scrubbed herself clean. She twirled her hair into its signature braids as she grabbed her phone, her keys, quickly wrote down a message that she would be checking out the campus university—although a part of her considered this unnecessary since she would be home by the time Elsa was finished with work—and headed out the door.
To her mild disappointment, she didn't see Kristoff or Sven at all as she made her way through the complex. She didn't see anyone actually.
Seriously, where the hell is everyone so early in the morning?
She shrugged the thought off and made her way to the bus stop.
The moment her foot stepped onto the pavement of the sidewalk, the city came to life. Traffic sounds filled her ears, the rumble of engines and honk of horns blaring in the air. She inhaled deeply and smelled the scent of gasoline and asphalt on the breeze. She tilted her head up at the morning sun and sighed, shoulders loosening. The daylight and warmth of the sun felt wonderful on her skin. Unlike New York, Los Angeles seemed to be perpetually in a state of sunshine past the morning. A shout startled her from her momentary relaxation. Anna squeaked as a few people with their dogs brushed past her.
"Gah!" Anna rubbed the back of her neck, cheeks blushing slightly at her own startled reaction. She dusted her hands on her pants and smiled crookedly, lips twitching. "Okay, stop looking like a tourist. Come on, you've seen busier crowds back home." Nodding to herself, Anna hurried onto the bus stop.
To her delight—and also to her horror—the bus stop was filled with other people waiting on the sidewalk. Anna flexed the toes of her shoes and bit her lip, clutching at her phone and wallet in her pocket.
Woah, okay. Actual real live people again. Unlike the apartment. Alright, you can do this.
She sidled onto the edge of the bench, flashing a half-smile when a young man glanced at her. He just raised an eyebrow at her before turning back to stare at his phone. Anna faltered and tapped her fingers against her jeans, whistling softly to herself.
She was staring down at her shoes when the bus came into view. Anna jumped to her feet, grinning as it came to a screeching halt. She let everyone else pass through before hopping on and depositing her change. Five seconds later she was sitting in the back row, transfer slip gripped tightly between her fingers.
Alright, day three isn't terrible so far.
She would need to take a couple more buses before she reached her destination. The information on her phone said it would take around an hour to get to her campus, and that hadn't included waiting time between buses and traffic. Anna glanced up from looking at her shoes as the bus moved forward. She grinned and looked out the window, enjoying the rolling and rumbling of the large vehicle beneath her. Pressing her nose to the glass, she watched the cityscape flash by her. A strange mixture of rapture and uneasiness filled her as she watched the sights of LA pass her by. Her next bus stop would take about twenty minutes to get to, and she could catch the next bus there at the half hour mark. This wouldn't be so bad.
At least she wasn't cooped up in the apartment all by herself.
For almost the next half hour, she allowed herself to be caught up in the hustle and bustle that was the LA transit system, watching people hop on or off the us. Every several seconds, she would cast her gaze out the window and watch the tall structures of central LA pass by. For the first time since she had arrived, everything almost felt like home.
When Anna finally reached her next stop, she hopped onto the curve with more spright in her step than she had all morning. She sat herself on the bench and glanced up and down the street. She was three minutes from the half hour mark. She'd made it on time, assuming the bus hadn't been early in its schedule. However, when she turned to look down the street, she beamed when she saw the telltale signs of the large vehicle coming up the street.
"Things are looking up today," Anna quipped to herself as she hurriedly climbed onto her ride.
The bus rolled and lumbered on before she could make it to her seat. Anna squeaked as stumbled onto an empty seat, plopping her rear firmly on the hard cushion. Once again, she took to staring out the window, pleasantly lulled by the groaning and rolling of the bus as it moved forward. Anna shuffled around a bit, trying to get comfy in her seat, listening to occasional murmuring of the other occupants around her and the rumbling of the engine.
After a few minutes, she gave a heavy sigh and leaned her head onto the window, pressing her temple against the glass. She watched the myriad of buildings roll by her again, slumping back in her seat. Despite the elation at actually being outdoors, something still tugged and squeezed at her chest.
There's so many people here, but it still feels a little bit lonely.
At some point, she dozed off.
It was the jostling of someone moving to sit down next to her that woke her up.
Anna startled, rousing herself from sleep as the person edged onto the seat. She shifted back to allow the man more room and smiled when he gave her a grateful look. It was the first sign of friendliness she'd really seen all day. Anna returned it with a wide grin. She turned to face the front of her bus, settling back more comfortably in her chair.
Only to look out the window and see a vast number of unrecognizable buildings.
Wait, what?
Anna frowned and grabbed her phone. She flipped through her pictures where she had saved her travel map. The addresses and names weren't anywhere on sight. A sinking feeling started in the pit of her stomach. She bit her lip and glanced out the window again, a chill running down her spine.
How long was I sleeping?
She checked her phone. Fifty minutes had passed since she fell asleep. Anna bit her lip, her finger beginning to tap against her phone. Okay, woah. Calm down. Just get off at the next bus stop and find your way back.
She practically yanked the cord when she requested the next stop. The man beside her shot her a surprised look and she flashed a nervous grin at him as she rushed off the stop.
She hopped onto the curve of the sidewalk and huffed. The bus rumbled for a few moments before its doors shuttered close. She turned her head and watched it drive away, the sinking feeling in her stomach increasing. She blinked and looked around. It was still daylight of course. Noon, at least. It was bright. She wasn't alone in the dark.
The hair on the back of her neck rose.
Anna dug her tooth into her bottom lip and her eyes focused on the street name.
She didn't recognize it. It wasn't on her map.
"I'm lost," she conceded at last.
If you find yourself lost out in this world