Here Comes Goodbye
( Part III )
Gil,
These days I have been thinking a lot – a little too much, I guessed – and I came to a conclusion. I am tired, both mentally and physically. When Abbey was diagnosed with Leukemia, my beautiful world which I built around Abbey and you went crashing down.
When the doctor told me there might be a treatment suitable for Abbey, I grabbed the opportunity disregarded your disagreements. It was a mother's instincts. A mother would do anything for their child. You argued that there was only 10 percent successful rate but to me the 10 percent was more than enough. It was hope I am buying. I never wanted to subject Abbey to those harsh treatments.
I saw the looks she had on when she could not get off the bed. The tears she shed whenever she came back from the painful chemotherapy broke my heart. Too many times, I wished I was in her position, suffering for her sake. I wished I was the one who had tubes stuck inside my body and endured the daily injections.
I knew you blamed me for continuing with the treatments despite Abbey and yours objections. But, a mother could hope.
But my hope was robbed away when Abbey stopped breathing.
Violent sobs ripped through my body when I saw Abbey in just bones and skins. She was so thin, and fragile. Her cheeks were protruding and lips were cracked. Before her illness, she had those full cheeks I could not help but pinched them every day. Her lips were so red, luscious and full.
There were many times I questioned God why am I always forsaken by Him. And ironically, it was my Father who gave me the reasons.
He told me that I don't deserve to be loved or entitled to happiness.
When I thought I had a home with you, Hannah West and Natalie Davis took it away from me.
When I thought I had a complete family, God decided that I don't deserve any happiness and punished me by ending Abbey's life. She had such a bright future. There were so many plans.
I think my Father was right.
Abbey was gone.
You left too.
You never know how much it hurt when you ordered me to drop the last rose. All I wanted was to spend more time with Abbey. It broke my heart when Lady Heather announced she would be staying with you. And the worst feeling of all, you told Lady Heather you could not look at my eyes.
The ultimatum was you not returning to our home.
I guessed this is the end. I thought we could survive everything but this was too much for our love to handle.
As much I don't wish to end this, but I am doing this to set you free. I don't wish to chain you with me. I am the heavy metal ball that can drag you down in the ocean. I am cutting this chain. You can finally swim free from me. You are no longer responsible for me.
I have enclosed the divorce papers and endorsed them.
Don't look for me. This is my last request from me. I'm tired. I want peace and need a space to breathe and mourn.
I can't handle you throwing the divorce papers back to me. You can either send them to the attorney or pass them to Greg.
Know that the reason I did this was I love you too much to hold you back.
I love you. I still do.
Please take care.
I wish you all the best.
Love,
Sara.
Grissom went slacken on the brown leather armchair. His arms laid on the armrest flaccidly. He was feeling weak and tired. Sara's letter had drained him of his energy. The tears he shed smudged Sara's signature.
He was too late. Sara left with a broken heart. And he thought Sara would be here waiting. She would never take off again. She promised him that she would never leave him again. They were going to build a family.
He did not know if he should honor Sara's last request not. He was not sure if he should go after her. After all, he was pretty sure that Greg would know the whereabouts of Sara. Or should he just sign the divorce papers to set Sara free.
Perhaps, they both needed the breathing space.
I had a hard time writing this. As I wrote this, my mind decided on the ending I wanted. I will start on the ending and post it soon. I'm afraid I had driven them further apart than I intended in the first place. =Z
I do read reviews but sometimes I don't know if you will be bothered if I replied to reviews not. So I generally don't reply but I still love what you all said and take them into consideration. :-)
Sincerely I hope you still enjoy this. I also updated a few of my stories. Do show your support! I will be uploading a new chapter for Treacherous if I can finished editing tomorrow.
xoxo,
blu3crush.