The next day was a very awkward one. Stan and Kyle still hadn't spoken to each other since yesterday's incident. Since they weren't talking it made it very hard for Wendy and Bebe to talk as well seeing as they were in the crossfire. The two sets of best friends migrated to opposite corners of the cafeteria to talk with their significant others.

"Can you believe what an asshole Stan is being to me?" Kyle asked Bebe.

"You should have just told him." she sighed.

"You know what Bebe, I don't know if this relationship is going to work. It's all based on physical attraction."

"No! Don't say it Kyle, please!"

"I think we need to take a break. We don't even share the same opinions"

"How do you know?! We've only been together for a day!" she shrieked, causing the attention of the entire cafeteria to toward them.

"Look, Babe, I think you knew as well as I did that this wouldn't work out. It was a good run, but I need a girl who can handle the high-profile life I lead here, at South Park Elementary. It was fun while it lasted."

Bebe ran off crying to the girls' bathroom and was soon accompanied by Wendy who came from the opposite side of the cafeteria. Stan began to march over to Kyle to have a quick word with him

"What the hell are you doing, Kyle?!"

"Now that I'm a celebrity around here I need a girlfriend who is at my level, not sub-par."

"What's gotten into you?! You were crazy for her yesterday."

"I was also crazy for pizza yesterday, but I'm wanting a burrito today. Times change."

"You're unbelievable! I quit the show, you can do it by yourself. I won't take part in this." Stan stormed off.

"You already have, Stan." Stan froze upon Kyle saying this. "The show is called How to Score a Super Mega Hottie, not How to Meet the Person of Your Dreams. These relationships were never supposed to last more than a day. You're supposed to bang 'em and cast them aside."

Stan stopped immediately upon hearing this and slowly turned back towards Kyle and walked up to him.

"You lied to me, Kyle! You said I'd be helping people get with the person they wanted to be with, not let's go out for a day and cast the you away like last night's steak dinner. I thought I was making a difference!"

"I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, but it is what it is, and if you can't take the heat, then get the hell out of the kitchen!" Kyle snapped

"You're a real asshole, you know that?! You've changed Kyle, if the old you saw what you've become he would be disgusted! Don't talk to me, we aren't friends anymore, dude"

"Fine, I don't need you! I can easily replace you!" Kyle yelled as Stan exited the cafeteria, giving Kyle the middle finger. "Where is my fucking Perrier?!"

"Um Kyle can I have a word with you, m'kay?" asked Mister Mackey.

"Make it quick I have to find a replacement for Stan before the show today." Kyle hissed.

"That's actually what I'm here for m'kay. Your stories have been highly inappropriate and that dating segment of yours… it's bad m'kay."

"So what are you saying Mackey? You want me, the host of this school's most successful announcement show to leave? Ha, I'll have some of whatever you're smoking." laughed Kyle

"No, it's already official. Eric Cartman and Butters Stotch are the new announcers starting today." Mister Mackey said as he sauntered away

"You have got to be kidding me! That show is nothing without me, you hear me nothing!" Kyle shrieked as he hit his fist against the table repeatedly.

"Sounds like you've been having a really bad day." a voice said from the Shadows of South Park Elementary's Cafeteria. "I have something that can make it all go away."

"Leave me the fuck alone." snapped Kyle.

"Just one hit of this, and all of your problems will go away. I'll even let you try a free sample." said the kids as he sprinkled a line of purple powder on the lunch table. "Just plug one of your nostrils and sniff really hard at it."

Kyle stared at it momentarily and really considered it for awhile. Either A he snorts it and nothing happens, no loss there, or B he snorts it and it's the most amazing experience of his nine-year-old life. Kyle leaned forward over the powder, put his index finger on his right nostril and inhaled the grape-scented powder with his left nostril. It burned momentarily, but after that he felt incredible. Everything was in a super-sharp clarity like he had never seen before, the room span as he just sat there.

"So, how many tubes can I put you down for?"

"I'll take six." said Kyle as he held up five fingers.

"Ok, then that will be six dollars." he said as Kyle handed him the money. "Okay, have a nice day."

Kyle looked at what was in his hand and was super excited. As he stared he thought about what he would do with all six tubes. He could space it out during the entire day, or he could do them all at once and get super messed up. His thought process was interrupted as a boy in an orange parka approached him.

"What the fuck is this?" asked Kenny.

"Just leave me alone Kenny. You wouldn't understand, with your simple life and all."

"Simple life? Do you think coming home to a drunken mother and father everyday is a simple life? Do you think looking forward to Toaster Waffle Fridays is a simple life? I don't think so, Kyle." cried Kenny.

"Do you want one?" asked Kyle as he handed a tube to Kenny.

Kenny made a quick line with the red-colored powder and snorted it hastily as the cherry scent quickly met his brain receptors with a sting in his nostrils.

"How much did you pay for this?" asked Kenny

"Six dollars for all of them, why?"

"You got ripped off. This is nothing, but Pixi Stix."

"Goddamn it!" yelled Kyle.

I fail soooooo epically for not updating sooner. Haha, so in eigth grade the big thing at school was snorting Pixi Stix, I thought it fit in quite nicely here