Chapter 3

`Lavi

Tyki-nii is acting strangely. I knew though that it was due to the accident.

I gave him some time since I knew that that's how people often are, wanting a time off for themselves for awhile.

I felt lonely though not being able to spend time with him and rarely seeing him smile.

`Tyki

While staying with my uncle, I didn't bother to interact much with the people inside the house. I didn't cause trouble nor did I became concerned. I study hard and do well as a high school student. I didn't get called or told off to have done somethings I shouldn't. My uncle's only concern was that I am so distant and hardly speaks with anyone in the house.

Lavi tried talking with me and asking me to play like before but I'd only ignore him or tell him to leave me alone.

Whenever I tell him to leave me alone, he follows but not for long.

He would try again after a few days as if waiting for a chance that my mood would change.

I just ignored him or yelled at him to stop but lately, it got just very annoying that I lost it.

With a raised voice, I screamed at him while holding him by the collar to make sure he hears well.

"Stop bothering me! Don't you get it that I don't want you around me? Is that brain of yours only good for understanding lessons in school?"

"I'm sorry, Tyki-nii-sama. Please don't get angry," he said in a pleading voice almost in tears.

"Sorry? That isn't enough for what you did by taking my parents away. You cursed child! You should just die! Uncle Sheryl shouldn't have stopped me back then. Else I wouldn't have the problem of doing it now," I said as my hands led up to his neck, gripping it tighter each seconds. Small hands of the child tried to remove it as tears were falling down.

`Lavi

Tyki-nii's angry. He's angry. I don't want him angry. I want to see him smile again.

He suddenly pushed me towards the wall making my back hit it hard. He held me by the collar as his voice grew louder.

"Stop bothering me! Don't you get it that I don't want you around me? Is that brain of yours only good for understanding lessons in school?"

I tried apologizing to call him down but his anger didn't lessen.

"Sorry? That isn't enough for what you did by taking my parents away. You cursed child! You should just die! Uncle Sheryl shouldn't have stopped me back then. Else I wouldn't have the problem of doing it now."

So it was real. I guess it is real. I just didn't want to accept it.

My eyes opened when I suddenly found it hard to breath. I thought I was drowning and I felt even more scared when I saw who it was.

Seeing Tyki-nii almost killing me scared me so much. I couldn't believe it and thought of it just as a nightmare.

But I have to accept that it isn't. Tyki-nii really hates me right now. He hates me but...

I can't seem to hate him though. I am really the cause of his parent's death after all. If I hadn't been there, he probably would be back home enjoying time with his family.

They would all be smiling. Tyki-nii would be smiling. He wouldn't get mad or irritated.

Should I really just die?

I can't try to keep his hands away anymore. The tears can't seem to stop. I can't breath. It hurts. It's hurting. I can't breath.

`Tyki

His hands stopped struggling. He can't breath anymore.

I let go.

He crouched down trying to catch his breath.

His head raised and looked at me with a pained expression.

What happened? Why the hell did I just almost kill a defenseless child? And this isn't the first time at all.

What's going on with me?

"Tyki-nii -cough- sama," he called out to me with a rough voice due to what I had done...

I looked at the child who still called me with respect despite the pain, hurt and betrayal I caused him.

I knew he held respect for me and what I did shattered his poor little heart that had been broken since his own family's death. I made things worse not caring about what he felt.

"Gomenasai, Tyki-nii-sama. I'm sorry."

He cried while apologizing repeatedly.

He didn't have any fault at all. He committed no sin, no wrong doing.

I was the one who hurt him. I was the one who almost killed him just now.

He shouldn't be the one apologizing at all.

What's wrong with him? Why is he showing no sign of hatred despite all the pains I've caused him?

Looking at me with those eyes...

I couldn't take it. I couldn't move from my place. I just stared at the child who is weeping before me while apologizing.

"Treat him as your own brother, Tyki. Alright? You're going to be siblings now."

"Yes, mother."

I made a promise with my mother I couldn't keep.

"I'm Tyki and I'm going to be your new older brother."

"My name is Lavi. Nice to meet you, Tyki-nii-sama."

I made a little boy who no longer has any family left believe that I would be his older brother.

I hurt and betrayed him. And I'm not even trying to stop his tears and comfort him.

I'm such a cruel older brother, undeserving to be even called his brother.

10/03/2011