A/N: Highlight of my week? Reenacting the Little Mermaid with my younger brother and sister in the pool. We were awesomesauce, if I do say so myself. I think we all ended up playing everyone . . . when I was Triton I used a broom as my trident to destroy my sister's "grotto." (My brother and I both did the sound effects for that.) My brother made a sweet "harpoon" out of some pole-thing he found, which was good for at the end when Eric (him) harpooned Ursula (me). He also made quite the lovely Ursula – his evil laugh made me crack up like an idiot (which wasn't good, because at that point I was Ariel). Anna (my sister) and I sang "Under the Sea," and when we couldn't remember the words we just went "Something, something, something, something rhymes with sea!" And a good time was had by all. :)
Disclaimer: I own nothing, which here includes pretty much everything. Except my new collection of Harvard Classics, and my broom trident, I do own those. ^_^
Police Plaza, LEPrecon Headquarters
"Captain Short!" called a Recon sprite, pounding his fist on the door of the only bathroom in the building. "Get out! You've been in there all morning!"
Holly opened the door agreeably, actually smiling. The sprite's left eye twitched; that was probably the warmest reception she had ever given him. Holly made her way to her desk, quite obviously in her own world. She raked her fingers through her hair (which she was growing out), then headed for Foaly's lab. On her way out, she nearly collided with her commander. His face was the usual beet-red, but she merely smiled at him. "Good morning, Commander." She even hummed a little to herself as she continued walking.
Corporal Lili Frond, who had arrived just in time to see that, giggled. "Oh, she's got it bad."
A vein pulsed in Root's temple. "What? What has she got?" If one of his best officers had gone and gotten herself sick . . .
The blonde sighed happily. "Isn't it obvious, Commander? Captain Short's in love."
Root's face turned an even deeper red. "Captain Short? In love?" He thought a moment – his fatherly side was somewhat pleased, but his commander side was thinking, This had better not interfere with her work. He decided to conference with Foaly on it.
Down in the Ops Booth, Foaly was pacing anxiously. "Okay, so far, so good," he muttered to himself. "I don't think the commander knows yet, but it won't be easy keeping something like this a secret for long." He trotted over to Holly, who was staring at his favorite huge screen, where several live links were playing of nearby shots. "Holly, get your head out of the clouds and back under earth where it belongs," he told her. "Down here is your home! Holly, listen to me. The Mud Man world is a mess. Life under the ground is better than anything they got up there."
The Mud Man sun shines brighter on somebody else's break
You think about going up there, but that is a big mistake
Holly began to glance back towards the screen while Foaly sang his point. He took her by the chin and made her look at him eye to eye.
Just look at the world around you, right here in the city lower
Such wonderful things surround you, what more are you looking for?
Foaly pressed a few buttons on his computer, making new view-boxes come up. They were security cameras from around Haven City. Holly's eyes flickered from box to box as she watched the daily subterranean routine pass, similar to any day before.
Under the ground, under the ground
Dear, it's not tragic where we have magic, don't make me hound
Up in the mud they scheme all day
Out in the sun they slave away
While we're demure and fully secure under the ground
Everyone below earth knew about the stupidity some fairies showed by traveling aboveground and being seen by hippies, but to help make his point, Foaly brought up some pictures and videos of moronic gnomes and dwarfs looking awful on the surface.
The fairies below are happy as throughout Haven they tour
The fairies above aren't happy; they're sad 'cause they miss the core
But fairies above are lucky; they are already done
But when the Mud Men send probes, guess who's going to be gone?
"Oh, oh!"
Under the ground, under the ground
It's simply dazing with tech this amazing to be endowed
We're what the land folks want to find
Under the ground we're off the line
We have no trouble, it's so lovable, under the ground
Under the ground, under the ground
Since life is sweet here, we've got the beat here, that's how we're found
Even the dwarf and the troll, they get the urge and start to roll
We've got the spirit, you've got to hear it
Under the ground
Some workers entered Ops Booth with the intention of cleaning, but when they saw the centaur was doing, they joined in the song. He continued, pointing to each fairy as he named them.
Newt plays the flute
Carp plays the harp
Plaice plays the bass
And they're sounding sharp
Bass plays the brass
Chub plays the tub
Fluke is the duke of soul
"Yeah," Fluke added.
Ray, he can play
Lings on the strings
Trout rockin' out
Blackfish, she sings
Smelt and Sprat, they know where it's at
And oh, Blowfish blows!
As Foaly and his backup singers/dancers continued during an interlude, they didn't notice N°1 slip in through the open door. He weaved through the maze of fairies to find Holly and whisper a message to her. Her face lit up, and they sneaked out past the rest of the group. Foaly, still in the zone and oblivious, cried, "Yeah!"
Under the ground, under the ground
When a pixie sings the Dixie, it's music to me
What do they have, a lot of sand?
We have an awesome magical band
Each little sprite here knows how it's right here, under the ground
Each little elf here dances in stealth here, under the ground
Each little dwarf here works on a wharf here
That's why we have purpose under the surface
Yeah, we're in luck here, down in the muck here, under the ground
"Now, tell me that's not impressive, Holly." When Foaly was met with silence, he turned to look for the elf, who was no longer there. "Holly?" She was gone. His workers left in disappointment, and he sighed. "Someone has got to nail that elf's boots to the floor."
Holly Short's Backyard
At that moment, Holly was sneaking into her Mud Man shed, with N°1 leading her by the hand. "Why can't you just tell me what this is all about?" she asked in a hushed tone, not that anyone was around to hear them.
"It's a surprise," the imp grinned. "A secret, a mystery." Holly rolled her eyes but agreeably let him have his moment of suspense.
Ops Booth
Meanwhile, Foaly nearly had an anxiety attack when Commander Root came to pay him a visit, looking oddly pleasant, which made the centaur even more nervous. "Morning, pony," the commander grunted as he doused his cigar.
"Yes?" Foaly squeaked, then coughing to continue more normally, "Yes, Commander?"
Holly Short's Backyard
"I found something," N°1 informed his friend.
"Found it where?"
"On the floor of Commander Root's office," he blurted guiltily, bouncing on his tail anxiously, "but I think it's yours." Holly blinked in confusion as she waited for N°1 to fetch it from a shelf.
Ops Booth
"Foaly," began the commander pointedly, "have you noticed anything different about Captain Short?" Foaly began to sweat as he tried to look innocent by tapping on his keyboard. "Any unusual emotions, for instance?"
Holly Short's Backyard
Holly's eyes widened as N°1 presented her with his find. "I would know this necklace anywhere!" she exclaimed, grabbing it from the imp's hands and scrutinizing it. A gold coin with a small hole in the center dangled from a leather cord. "I gave this to Artemis, years ago. Why would Julius have it?"
Ops Booth
Foaly cracked under Root's intense stare. "I'm sorry! It wasn't my fault; she wouldn't listen to me! I told her not to go to the surface, but she went anyways, and there was a ship, and it was Artemis Fowl's –"
"Fowl?" Root bellowed, his semi-pleasant mood instantly giving place to even more rage than usual. "What about Fowl?"
Holly Short's Backyard
It was only a few minutes later when the commander burst into the shed, which was just the time when the pieces came together in Holly's mind. "Holly!" His voice filled the shed, and his face reddened even more deeply in anger as he took in the Mud Man collection around him.
However, Holly was just as wrathful. "You mindwiped me!" she yelled. "You must have done Artemis too, if you had this!" She pitched the coin necklace at Foaly, obviously not missing his role in the problem.
"You disobeyed a direct order!"
"A direct order? You lied to me! How could you do that?"
"If you had obeyed me, we couldn't be having this discussion!"
"I love him," Holly spat.
Root's eyes glowed in fury at this information. "No. Have you lost your senses completely?" he demanded. "He's a human; you're an elf!"
"I don't care," she said stubbornly.
"D'Arvit, Holly, I am going to get through to you," Root said darkly. "And if this is the only way . . . so be it." He snapped his mouth shut and instead pulled out his favored tri-barreled blaster, sliding it to the highest setting as he aimed at a shelf. Holly's eyes widened as she realized what he meant to do.
"Commander, don't!"
Her cry fell on deaf ears. His finger pulled the trigger, and the sound of her collections shattering filled the air. Repeatedly he blasted around the shed, until the Mud Man things were thoroughly destroyed. The sound of tinkling glass from a broken trinket was the only noise for a few moments. Then the commander holstered his blaster and stormed back out of the shed, leaving Holly frozen and stony-faced. Foaly and N°1 tried to comfort her, but she refused to acknowledge them, and they stepped outside as well.
Holly retreated into herself, as she always did when she was at her angriest. At this point she was willing to disregard anything the commander had ever said to her – a fact which did not escape Opal's diligent twin workers. Mervall and Descant stepped slowly into the shed, careful not to spook the pretty elf.
"Poor elf," Mervall commented smoothly to his brother. "She has a very serious problem."
"If only there were something we could do," Descant replied easily.
They were unsure if she would react, but then without looking up she asked lowly, "What do you want?"
"We represent someone who can help you," Mervall told her. "Someone who can make all your dreams come true."
"Just imagine . . . You and your genius . . ."
". . . Together," they finished in sync, "forever."
Holly's eyes closed, and her brow furrowed. "I don't understand."
Mervall came closer to her. "Miss Koboi has great powers."
Hazel eyes flew open again and she rounded on them. "Miss Ko – Opal? I couldn't possibly . . . No! Get out of here, leave me alone!"
The Brill brothers obediently retreated to the door. "Suit yourself," Mervall shrugged.
"It was only a suggestion," concurred his brother smoothly. As he left he passed a certain coin necklace on the floor, which he kicked so that it landed with a clatter by the elf's foot. She looked at it without expression, almost as if she didn't care about it. Almost.
"Wait," she blurted.
That moment, the brothers turned simultaneously. "Yeeeeess?"
Foaly and N°1 had been standing outside the shed, quietly debating the best way to help Holly. Foaly was feeling guilty about letting her secret slip, and while N°1 didn't like to lay blame, he was eager to clean up the mess, the sooner the better. However, the talking ceased instantly when they were passed by the Brill brothers and their favorite LEPrecon. Foaly rushed up to stop her. "Holly! You can't go with them! They work for Opal Koboi!" he cried out to his elfin friend. This was something she already knew.
This was not well received. With a glare he hadn't earned in years, the elf told him, "Why don't you go tell the commander? You're good at that!" She sped up to join the twins again. The centaur and the imp stared wordlessly after them for a few moments before Foaly came to his senses.
"Come on!" He gestured for the young warlock to follow him as he chased after the group of three.
Opal Koboi's Workplace
The twins were at that moment leading Holly into Opal's lair. On the way, she couldn't help but notice the boots: they lined the halls and rooms. A few times she tripped over them as she walked. It gave her ominous feeling, which made no sense, since of course they were only footwear.
Finally they arrived at Opal's lab. "Future Mistress of the Galaxy?" Mervall addressed the humanoid pixie. (This struck Holly as an odd reference, but no matter.)
Opal turned in her swivel chair, a wide smile spreading as she recognized the guest. "Ah, Captain Short. Please come in. You mustn't lurk in doorways; it's rude. One might question your instruction." She chuckled at her private joke, then returned to business. "So, you're here because you have a thing for a human. The Fowl boy. To each their own, I suppose, though you'd never catch me mooning after a Mud Man." She turned to her mirror to apply a new layer of lipstick. Smacking her lips, she continued, "Well, Holly dear, the solution to your problem is simple." Opal unscrewed a bottle of nail polish and lightly touched up her fingernails. After blowing on them for a quick dry, she returned her attention to Holly.
"The only way to get what you want," she declared, "is to become a human yourself."
As much as she disliked even being there, Holly was curious. "Could you do that?"
Opal smiled widely and stood from her chair. "My dear captain. That's what I do. It's what I live for. To help unfortunate fairies, like yourself – poor souls with no one else to turn to."
I admit that in the past I've been a nasty
They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch
But you'll find that nowadays
I've mended all my ways
Repented, seen the light, and made a switch
"True? Yes," she proclaimed, pointing a tapered finger at Holly. The pixie began to stroll around her lab, occasionally stopping to rummage around in her storage boxes for chemicals or test tubes.
And I fortunately know a little magic
It's a talent that I always have possessed
And here lately, please don't laugh,
I use it on behalf
Of the miserable, lonely, and depressed
"Pathetic," Opal muttered scornfully to Mervall and Descant, who chuckled in sync. She brought up a small holograph projector from her high school years. From it she showed the images of desolate-looking fairy people, a man and a woman.
Poor unfortunate souls
In pain, in need
This one longing to be thinner
That one wants to get the girl
And do I help them?
"Yes indeed." She pressed a button on the machine with one hand and waved the other over the images as she did so, making it look as they changed favorably under her influence.
Those poor unfortunate souls
So sad, so true
They come flocking to my doorstep
Crying, "Help us, Opal, please!"
And I help them!
"Yes, I do," Opal reiterated sweetly. She leaned luxuriously against the counter as she combined chemicals.
Now, it's happened once or twice
Someone couldn't pay the price
And I'm afraid I had to rake them across the coals
A pseudo-empathetic frown marred the pixie's pretty features as she pressed the projector button again and with a wave of her hand turned the holograph fairies into shoes – specifically boots. Opal flicked the projector off quickly so Holly wouldn't be able to dwell on the negative.
Yes, I've had the odd complaint
But on the whole I've been a saint
To those poor unfortunate souls
Foaly and N°1 at this time sneaked through the open door, worried for their friend. They arrived to see Opal take Holly gingerly by the arm and lead her towards the table with bubbling test tubes. "I can make you a potion that will turn you into a human for three days," the pixie told her. "Understand? Three days. Now, listen. This is important." Here she turned the projector back on and put up three suns. "Before the sun sets on the third day, you've got to get the dear young genius to fall in love with you. That is, he has to kiss you. Not just any kiss," she added. "The kiss of true love!
"If he does kiss you before then, you'll remain human permanently. However, if he doesn't, you'll turn back into an elf. And – " the suns disappeared " – you'll belong to me."
"No, Holly!" Foaly shouted, before Mervall and Descant raced over and muted both him and N°1.
Opal glanced over at him dangerously before smiling sweetly again at Holly. "Do we have a deal?"
Holly, though interested, was hesitant to agree. "If I become human," she said slowly, "I'll never see the commander or my friends again."
Opal didn't even feign sympathy. "That's right. But . . . you'll have your man." She giggled. "Life's full of tough choices, isn't it?" She paused, having remembered something. "Oh, and there is one more thing. We haven't discussed the subject of payment! You can't get something for nothing, you know."
"But I don't have anyth – " Holly protested.
Opal waved a hand to shush her. "I'm not asking much. Just a token, really, a trifle. You'll never even miss it. What I want from you is . . . your voice."
Holly stepped back, unconsciously putting a hand to her throat. "My voice?"
"You've got it, sweetcakes," Opal said flatly. "No more talking, singing, zip."
"But without my voice, how can I – ?"
"You'll have your looks," insisted Opal, "your reasonably pretty face. And don't underestimate the importance of body language, ha!"
The men up there don't like a lot of blabber
They think a girl who gossips is a bore!
Yes, on land it's much preferred for ladies not to say a word
And after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?
Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation
True gentlemen avoid it when they can
But they dote and swoon and fawn on a lady who's withdrawn
It's she who holds her tongue who gets a man
Opal drew up a contract paper, flittering it in the air in front of Holly's face. She gleefully handed the elf a pen.
Come on, you poor unfortunate soul!
Go ahead!
Make your choice!
I'm a very busy pixie and I haven't got all day
It won't cost much
Just your voice!
You poor unfortunate soul
It's sad but true
If you want to cross a bridge, Miss Short,
You've got to pay the toll
Take a gulp and take a breath
And go ahead and sign the scroll
"Mervall, Descant, now I've got her, boys," she hissed to the brothers, grinning.
The boss is on a roll
This poor unfortunate soul
Opal pointed a finger at Holly to punctuate each of her last syllables. In a flurry, Holly scribbled her name on the bottom of the page. Opal's eyes gleamed as she stored the contract. The pixie gleefully extracted a test tube containing a bubbling mixture. She instructed the elf to hold it under her nose, and then with a thin layer of the mesmer in her voice commanded, "Now, sing!"
Even under the spell, Holly was confused. "Sing? Why?"
Opal sighed impatiently, raising the intensity of the mesmer. "A scale, Short! Now!" Holly obediently began a slow C scale. Opal held out a large opal gemstone eagerly. "Keep singing!"
As Holly progressed through the scale, her voice rose quite literally from her throat and entered the gemstone. Opal began giggling as she gave the elf another potion, this one to drink. Holly downed it quickly and waited for a moment . . . nothing. Then her body began to buck as her magic left her. Simultaneously she grew to a proportionate human age and size, her hair and nails lengthening rapidly as cells reproduced.
Eventually the growth spurt stopped. Holly stumbled out the door and raced for the nearby shot as quickly as she could manage. Opal force-fed Foaly and N°1 some mixtures as well before they sprinted out after their friend.