Disclaimer: We own nothing! So yeah, my friend and I who are writing the story live across the city in our state, so it's taking some time to get together for our Documentary Series =^.^= but have no fear, summer is nearly here!! Which means quicker updates (let us know who you'd like to see a documentary of!) So now, for your entertainment, we present to you, Interlude with the Snape.
Substitute Teacher
Principle: Class, today we will be combining your Contemporary Law and Justice and chemistry classes.
Random Student: Why? Couldn't we just have a normal day?
Principle: NO! We shall combine the classes because we hired only one substitute since we are a bunch of fat, lazy, jerks!
Goth Kid: Okay… So, who is our new conformist, governmental zombie teacher?
Principle: Well he looks like a maniac depressive gypsy, BUT, his doctors gave him medication which provides him with brief moments of lucidity.
Goth Kid: … Sometimes it's best not to ask…
(Door opens and whole class stares in awe as…Severus Snape WALKS IN!!!)
Principle: I'll be leaving now and ignoring all screams and pleads for help for I'll be listening to "I'm In Love with a Stripper" (Walks out Singing)
Snape: Class, pay attention…
Random Student: Or what yah fruit loop!
Snape: (Eye twitches) …Or I will rip out your esophagus and strangle you with it!!!
Nerd In Back: Excuse me sir, but that's not physically possible.
Snape: (Glares) want to test that little theory of yours?
Nerd In Back: We's promises Master, we's swares not to question your almighty ring of power and… stuff. (Suddenly mauled by a giant vampire squirrel)
Snape: (Cracks whip) Fatuus, Dismissed!!
A/N: Major brownie points to anyone if they know what language this is or what it means.–Hint- I'm taking a really random language class, Carpe Diem Baby!
Fatuus: SQUEEK!! (Teleports to Snape's side then melts into the shadows)
Class: …
Goth Kid: Like I said, sometimes it's best not to ask.
Snape: What can I say; his voice filled me with such rage… it was like nails were scraping on the blackboard in the back of my mind…
Preppy Person: What are we gonna be doing in law?
Snape: (Coughs) Yes, well, today we will be debating who would win the argument, 'Aging Hippie Liberal Douche vs Pissed White Trash Redneck Conservative'.
Class: O_o
Random Stereotype: (Cries) I wanna go home!! (Consoled by Zen Hippie)
Snape: (Slaps Zen Hippie) Pull yourself together man! Now that that's over, onto Biology!
Zen Hippie: (Holds cheek) But we haven't even started Law, man!
Snape: Here's a lesson for you, what happens when someone doesn't know how to SHUT UP!
Zen Hippie: They fight the establishments!
Snape: WRONG! YOU FAIL!! FATUUS, ATTACK!!!! (Cracks whip)
Fatuus: ROAR!
Zen Hippie: WTF!? Isn't there a law against this? (Runs off)
Snape: I AM ABOVE THE LAW! Besides, who cares what hippies think, I don't. (Walks out and returns with a large cage with a tarp over it) Today in Biology we will be dissecting and performing weird experiments on WEREWOLVES!
Preppy Person: Is that safe, or appropriate for the laws of nature for that matter?
Snape: Who cares! (Smiles) I put them to sleep with novacane.
Goth Kid: No amount of therapy will ever make this day okay.
Snape: Now, all of you come up and grab a werewolf and then open up your book to the page that contain the Periodic Table of the Elements while I disperse the chemicals with symbols on them!
Preppy Person: Why do we need to open them to the Table that has their meanings?
Snape: Cause I don't know them! There is a 99.99% chance of DOOM today! Mwahahaha!!!! Oh, you may want to check if the wolves are completely unconscious.
Goth Kid: Do we have anything to sedate them with if they wake up?
Snape: Shut up and grab a wolf or so help me god I will cut you.
Random Stereotype: Aren't you breaking every child endangerment law as well as some federal and naturals laws there are?
Snape: (Tosses scalpels and pins the student to the wall with them) I AM ABOVE THE LAW!!! 300 POINTS FROM GRIFINDOR!!
To be continued….