Rejected
So here's the second story of my prompt table challenge. I think this one is really good. I hope to have captured the mood of the Doctor rather well. Okay so here are some specs:
Timeline: After "The Runaway Bride"
Having just lost Rose how does the Doctor Feel about Donna's rejection? Is he still mourning Rose's loss? Does he feel guilty?
One last thing I still don't own anything that deals with Doctor Who. Don't sue me!
Rejected
The TARDIS had never felt so expansive before. Sitting on the captain's chair, I could almost hear my beloved Rose's laugh. The beautiful pink and yellow human who snuck her way into my hearts. The one human I'd be indebted to for the rest of my life. But I knew that she's the only human that Id' ever fallen in love with.
I closed my eyes and remembered her. I remembered how she'd laugh and the sound of it would make my hearts skip beats. I remembered how her eyes, dark chocolate brown, would sparkle when she'd see a new world. I loved just how sparkly her eyes would be, that I would think that the stars she'd look up to would be ashamed that their sparkling wasn't have as brilliant as her eyes. I remembered her hair, and though I knew she dyed it, she would still care for it and make it look softer than the softest cashmere. I remembered just how wonderful my rose smelled. She made the sweetest flowers smell bad. I could almost see her in my mind's eye. She was standing next to the console smiling at me. Her hand outstretched and waiting for me to take it in mine.
I opened my eyes sadly, because I knew that I would never get the chance to hold her hand ever again. I hated myself for not being able to move on. I loathed my entire being for not pushing her to go back to the TARDIS or stay with her mother. But I also felt guilty, about being happy that she came back for me. I felt so selfish that I wanted her with me. I felt so horrible, for even thinking about bursting through the wall just to get to my Rose.
I knew deep down that I had to move on. I knew that this universe needed me, that people like Donna Noble depended on me to make sure time didn't go completely wibbly. It was people like Donna that needed me at the top of my game. Donna Noble.
Brash Donna Noble. Brave Donna Noble. Brilliant Donna Noble. Broken Donna Noble. I almost hated that she was here just after Rose said goodbye to me. I hated just how her slap was almost like Jackie's slap. But, Donna was able to awaken me. She helped me to focus on someone and something. She forced me to take a good look at myself and exactly what I was doing. This temp from Chiswick, with ginger hair, that made me briefly feel jealousy, and a temper to accompany her hair, drew me out like a poison. She stopped me from doing what, deep down, I wanted to do. Because if I'm honest with myself I didn't want to go on without my Rose, the one person who could read me like a book. But then I remembered the shock and fear on her face when I made it snow. As well as the fear when I drowned the baby Racnoss.
I sat thinking about that moment when I asked her to come along. I remembered how she refused. I didn't understand why she wouldn't come. I remember feeling rejected, like I wasn't important enough to go with. Then when she told me that I was basically an unfeeling monster while I stood there as the Racnoss were dying made me feel terrible, but I didn't know how to fix her perception of me. I wasn't sure how I had changed so much as to be off putting to humans.
I remember accepting her excuse of going traveling and walking in the dust. And if I'm honest with myself, I didn't really want her to come along. Yes she allowed me to focus on the right now, but when she declined I did feel some relief. I knew that I really didn't want to ruin another life like I did to Rose. But when she told me that I needed someone, someone to stop me, I wanted to fervently disagree with her, but mentally knew that my someone, my plus one, was very far away. I knew that Donna was right, but I just couldn't accept Rose was gone. But I didn't disagree with her.
Looking back at all that has happened since Rose got stuck, I've realized I do need someone. But I don't want to have someone think that they can just up and replace my one true love. I couldn't allow someone to become what rose was. I had to keep them at arm's length for their sakes. But Donna was right. I did need someone. Someone, who would be my conscience, someone who would help me to be the person I wanted and needed to be.
I didn't want to be stuck in an endlessly bleak mood. I wanted to feel alive. I wanted to be able to see the beauty of the universe again. I knew that I couldn't remain drifting as I was. I knew that I needed on last day of grieving for my precious Rose. But then I needed to get back to my life of traveling. The universe needed me, and as much as I hated it, the Humans needed me.
As I stood up I knew that I needed closure. I needed to come face to face with the truth I was trying so hard to dismiss. I began to set coordinates for London. I knew that a memorial had been erected for all who died because of Canary Wharf. I knew my Rose's name would be honored for her bravery. So that's where I was headed.
When the TARDIS landed, I opened the front doors and saw that it was raining. I walked out and I saw the memorial. I began to look at the names. I found Yvonne Hartman's name, and I saw Jackie Tyler's name. Then I finally found her name.
The moment I found her name I felt my hearts break. I stood there staring at her name and feeling like the loneliest person in the universe. Then I reached out and touched the cold marble stone. I traced her name with my finger slowly.
R
O
S
E
M.
T
Y
L
E
R
I did it once more. I could feel just how the rock was cut for her name. I felt like I could feel her with me. This was the truth I'd been desperately trying to make wrong. I felt the rain falling down my cheeks and I didn't know when exactly it happened, that I'd started crying. I cried for her. I cried for me. I cried because I just couldn't keep the emotions tucked away any longer. I didn't want her to be gone and I cried because she was. I sighed then I said, "Rose Tyler…" I paused and traced her name again. I closed my eyes and pictured her face. I wanted to picture her face when she told me 'forever' but all I could seem to conjure up mentally was her face from Bad Wolf Bay. "I have never met another human like you. You were fantastic, brilliant, clever, and so full of love. I am so sorry our forever was cut short. Rose Tyler, I love you. I will always love you. Until my dying day. Goodbye," I said.
With one last caress of her name I turned around and walked away feeling completely rejected.