Another Rainy Day in Nerima
Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form.
Author's Notes: this oneshot took a while to pull out, but we hope you'll find it worth the wait. As always, please read and review- and especially make your choices for the next oneshot to tackle for this anthology. Don't be afraid to make suggestions for other possible oneshots either; even if I don't think an idea will work on its own, it doesn't mean that I mightn't find a use for it as part of a related oneshot (for example, what if Mousse had put the Reversal Jewel on Akane upside down?).
Chapter 2: From the Icy Jaws of Defeat
Cologne leapt high into the air, abandoning her ice sculpture of a full-grown grizzly as her potential son-in-law, currently in the body of a busty red-haired girl and acting like an extremely mad cat, clawed and slashed it into pieces. It took a moment for Cologne to realize the full extent of what that meant, but finally the pieces fell into place. Cat Fu! The boy had undergone the long-forbidden and false technique of the Nekoken? And survived with his sanity intact? Already she had been impressed by his skill, his fortitude, his determination and his incredible capacity for learning techniques, but this final bit of information was the clincher.
Originally, she had been skeptical, even hostile, to the idea of her great-granddaughter, the last surviving member of her family, marrying this foreigner, but as she had come to know him, she had softened towards the idea. Now, she was sure that he would make a fine husband for her and an excellent heir to her vast supply of knowledge- despite his youth, he had fought with a skill and intensity that was truly remarkable. For a moment, she considered allowing him to win, dodging aside and knocking him in the back of his head with her staff as he sprang at her.
Then she brushed the thought away; the best thing she could do for him would be to take him back to China with her and her great-granddaughter. Leaving a talented youth like this in the hands of two bumbling buffoons like his father and Soun Tendo, as well as the "mercies" of his Japanese so-called fiancée, was not an option. Dropping to the snow, she watched as Ranma sprang at her: she despised using such flashy techniques, but needs must when the devil drives- this would finish the fight.
Drawing in her aura, concentrating it within herself, with a single dramatic gesture she caused it to surge outward in an explosive display, the flare of spiritual energy catching the diving Ranma-chan and sending her tumbling, yowling piteously, through the air. It was possible she might have managed to right herself and land on her feet, had not a tree branch caught her in the back of the head with a sickening crack, arresting her flight and dropping her unconscious to the snow-covered earth. Cologne kept her expression an enigmatic mask, but inside the secrecy of her mind she cursed vigorously- that wasn't what she had intended.
"Ranma!" yelled Akane Tendo, rushing to the unconscious girl's side as, with a dismayed yowl, so did Shampoo. Cologne pogoed over to her descendant and manifested a kettle of hot water, with which she doused Shampoo in order to return her to human form. After a few wild seconds as she hastily dried and reclothed herself, Cologne turned to Soun & Genma with a malicious smile upon her face.
"The match is mine. I will be taking my son-in-law now. Unless either of you wishes to challenge me to a match…?"
Soun & Genma paled and shook their heads rapidly. Though she hadn't been expecting anything else, Cologne still felt a flicker of disgust. Squelching it, dismissing them as unimportant, she turned away.
"Shampoo, bring your husband and lets go. His injuries need attention."
She pogoed away as, behind her, Shampoo quickly and eagerly lifted Ranma-chan into her arms, being careful to avoid aggravating the boy-turned-girl's injuries and followed in the matriarch's wake. So focused on this was she that she didn't even so much as give Akane a glance. Or poke her tongue out at her.
Pain. That was the first thing that Ranma was aware of after his/her conscious mind returned to her, the all-encompassing terror of the Nekoken having finally faded. A very familiar sort of pain, too. The dull throbbing caused by a blow to the skull, which Ranma had become intimately familiar with since she'd moved to Nerima. She stirred slightly, wincing in pain, then slowly and carefully opened her eyes.
"Aiyah- great-grandmother! Ranma awake!"
Shampoo? What was she doing here? And Cologne? ...Oh no... she hadn't... had she? In one move she heaved herself upright, ignoring the stabs of pain that resulted as her abused flesh and bones protested, blinking rapidly to better let her eyes adjust themselves to the ambient light- though, to her pleasant surprise, wherever she was had been made dark enough that this was a less painful process than it might have otherwise been.
As she moved, she suddenly realised a number of subtle differences in her body, beyond the bruises she had attained in her duel. Primary among these was the absence of a pair of weights on her chest that she been forced to live with constantly for the last week.
"...I'm a guy again?" Ranma asked aloud.
"Indeed. We gave you the Phoenix Pill while you were asleep, son-in-law." Croaked a familiar voice. Ranma looked up from his examination of his newly restored masculinity to the other end of the bed, where the hunched form of none other than Cologne, Shampoo's 300-year-old great-grandmother, had perched while he was distracted.
"You did? Why?" Ranma asked, though he had a sinking feeling that he already knew the answer...
"Because there was no need for you to remain under the effects of the Full-Body Cat's Tongue any longer. Not now that you have finally accepted your marriage to Shampoo."
Ranma's eyes went wide as Shampoo, unnoticed before then, latched onto his side and began nuzzling him in delight.
"I never accepted nothing!" He roared, the volume and vehemence of it causing Shampoo to wince and relinquish her hold, while Cologne simply smirked smugly at him.
"Oh, so your word is worthless then?"
"What did you say!?" Ranma snapped indignantly. Ranma's word was just about the only thing of worth he had, so he took it quite seriously indeed.
"In case you have forgotten, you gave me your word that you would marry my Shampoo if you lost in our battle. And lost you have- so, by your own words, you and Shampoo are now husband and wife."
Ranma simply stared at her mutely, the sheer weight of his situation leaving him speechless as the full reality sank in. Shampoo began to sidle up to her new groom, but was stopped by Cologne's casual comment.
"Of course, the question now arises whether or not she deserves you..."
"What?!" Ranma gaped in disbelief, his exclamation of shock drowned out by Shampoo's own yelp of "Great-grandmother!"
"Don't you 'great-grandmother' me, young miss!" Cologne snapped angrily, her gimlet-like eyes stabbing into the blue-haired Amazon. "You persistently and deliberately interfered into circumstances arranged for your own benefit, working to sabotage them each time!"
Shampoo flinched back, which seemed only to encourage Cologne to even further heights of vitriolic rage. "As if that was bad enough, you deliberately went to the aid of an outsider against ME, your own great-grandmother, the woman who raised you, your sensei, your tribal elder! You were cursed at Jusenkyo for a far lesser crime than this! Do you know what punishments will befall you, should I reveal this to the tribe? Do you!?"
"Leave her alone!" Ranma shouted, glaring angrily at Cologne as the weeping Shampoo clung to him desperately. Cologne simply looked back at him, her rage vanishing to be replaced with an expression that was completely inscrutable, before she turned and hopped away on her stick. Ranma watched her go, seething, all anger at Shampoo forgotten. Shampoo sobbed loudly at that moment, reminding him where she was, and Ranma clumsily tried to offer her some comfort.
Outside of the bedroom currently housing the two teens, Cologne heaved an exhausted sigh, her expression changing to one of weariness. It had pained her to hurt her great-granddaughter so, but she knew that if Ranma hadn't been made aware of just what Shampoo had risked for his sake, he would have resented her for his loss to Cologne and their marriage was almost guaranteed to be one of pain and misery for the both of them. By taking up the role of 'the enemy', Cologne had focused Ranma's wrath on her alone, as well as triggering his own defensive instincts towards Shampoo. This way, their marriage would be much stronger, and Cologne knew that in time they would not only get over it, but thank her for her efforts. Still, lambasting her great-granddaughter like that had been a trying thing for her, and she dug into her pockets for her pipe, lighting it up and inhaling deeply. She looked up as she heard someone knocking at the door of the Nekohanten branch.
"I wonder who that could be?" She murmured to herself, bouncing off to answer the door. Surprisingly, it wasn't the front door, which led onto a small porch, but the back door from the kitchen, which led right outside. She was not surprised –or particularly happy- to see Soun Tendo and Genma Saotome standing outside in the snow. She pogoed out to meet them, rather than allowing them inside. The two men and the ancient woman stared at each other before Genma broke the silence.
"Give back my son, its time we headed back to the Tendo Dojo." He demanded.
Cologne wondered for a second if these two had taken heavy blows to the skull recently. It would certainly explain their behavior, both now and earlier that day. And if not, perhaps she should give them said blows... narrowing her eyes, as much to emphasize her words as to get off that train of thought, Cologne asked the simple question.
"What are you talking about?"
Both men stopped before Genma frowned and scoffed, "What do you mean what are we talking about? We're here to take back Ranma of course! He was obviously too weak to stand up to an old woman so I'm going to have to get him back into shape!"
Soun nodded, "Besides, he has a commitment to meet in marrying one of my daughters. So if you would be so kind as to get him for us, we'll be on our way."
"You are kidding, aren't you?" Cologne asked, though in her heart she feared that they truly were serious. "Ranma is Shampoo's husband, by his own words he is honor-bound to marry her. You two will just have to break that stupid engagement promise- besides which, neither he nor that daughter of yours seemed to particularly want it anyway. As for training, I can assure you that the training he will receive under me and the other Joketsuzoku elders will be far superior to anything that a city-dwelling dojo master can provide." She sneered mockingly at Soun as she said this, as her vast experience left her more than proficient to judge just how poor Soun's own fighting skills were.
Genma sputtered, "But that promise was made before Ranma was even born, it has precedence over whatever that stupid boy has promised you!"
"...Are you implying that your son's personal honor is of lower significance than your own?" Cologne asked idly, though there was a definite hint of menace underlying her words. "And speaking of which, isn't there the little matter of you trading Ranma away to another family during your training trip? While she may have renounced her engagement to him, did you not officially give him over to the Daikoku family, thus negating the previous engagement to the Tendos?" Cologne was privately thankful she'd managed to find that little fact out. It always paid to seek intelligence when in unfamiliar territory.
Genma fell silent, not quite sure how to respond to that while Soun spoke up then, "But what about that Kiss of Death law your people possess? I thought Ranma's female form was marked for death by your great-granddaughter?"
"As a Jusenkyo form is, by its very nature, not a person's true form, the only laws that apply are those that specifically apply to a person's true gender. In other words, Ranma is immune to any Kiss of Death issued by a Joketsuzoku woman- had he in fact revealed his true gender back in the village, he would not have been chased out of China. In fact, the two would have been married right then and there." Cologne answered smoothly, idly sliding down her stick until she was standing on her own two feet before asking her next question. "Why are you two so insistent to make him marry a girl who dislikes him? What does he possibly have to gain from such an engagement?"
Genma looked shocked, "What does he have to gain? He joins together the schools of Anything Goes and with him in control of the Dojo, he will make our style famous all over the world!" He folded his arms while regarding Cologne, "And what do you mean that Akane dislikes him? Those two are simply having trouble getting used to each other, but with a little time and patience they will soon come to love one another."
Soun had tears in his eyes as he nodded vigorously, "Yes indeed! With those two married, we can't fail in making the Anything Goes style famous!"
"Oh, really?" Cologne asked sarcastically. "And precisely what is the Tendo School offering to the match? We Joketsuzoku have countless hundreds of techniques, developed and refined over thousands of years, and our people have been breeding for potent genes since our foundation. Ranma would hold a high position amongst us- if he becomes even half as good as he has the potential to be, he will be respected and revered throughout the Byankala range and beyond."
Soun and Genma began to babble at that, but Cologne stopped listening, having already decided that they had nothing intelligible to say. Finally, she cut them off with a curt wave of her staff and a simple, "Enough. I have now seen the light."
"Then you realise that the only honorable thing to do is to give us Ranma?" Soun and Genma asked in mutual eagerness.
"No. I have realised I am pounding sand down a rat hole." And with that, she jabbed the end of her stick into the snow beneath Soun & Genma's feet, causing it to first bulge unnaturally and then erupt in a powerful but contained explosion as she pumped her ki into it, blowing the two men screaming into the sky where they promptly vanished into LEO.
"Morons," She commented idly, then turned and went back inside, locking the door as she did so.
Two days came and went with startling swiftness. Cologne and Shampoo had insisted that Ranma stay at Snow Mountain until the next day in order to give his injuries full time to heal (Ranma, while ticked at how Cologne had treated Shampoo, was nonetheless grateful when she insisted Shampoo sleep in her own bed, not his). The next day had seen them go back to Nerima, where they had spent the vast majority of the day taking care of all the red tape to have Ranma and Shampoo legally wed by Japanese law. Surprisingly to Ranma, they had gone for the simple option of filling out the marriage licenses, rather than holding any sort of ceremony.
He had asked Shampoo why she'd settled for something so simple, and she had told him that there wasn't much point in having any elaborate ceremonies when she, Ranma and Cologne would be the only ones attending. A wedding ceremony would be held once they returned to the Joketsuzoku village... though the lack of a ceremony hadn't exactly dampened any desire she had to consummate the wedding night... the fact that Ranma had managed to evade her all night, until the two had finally passed out from mutual exhaustion, was not sitting well with the blue-haired girl, who had privately vowed to both step up her own training regime and to try and break down that ridiculous shyness issue her husband seemed to have. After all, they were married now- surely they should celebrate their union physically as well as legally?
On this, the second day since Ranma's disastrous battle on Snow Mountain, the two were finally ready to head back to China- they had purchased plane tickets (which was a first for Ranma, who'd been expecting boat tickets at most and outright swimming to China to be more likely) and were just waiting for their flight to be ready to depart. As they began making their way to the small plane that they had booked passage on, they became aware of a disturbance from behind them. Looking back, they saw none other than Soun, Genma and Akane Tendo, quickly closing the gap between them.
"Oh, not again." Cologne groaned, earning curious glances from her children. What neither of them knew was that Cologne had been fending off attempts made by the two men to steal Ranma back- they would have even disrupted the license signing if she hadn't kicked their asses clear to the other side of Nerima.
"Ranma! I knew you were going to run off with one of your floozies, I just knew it!" Akane was in full burn as she saw Ranma with Shampoo and was already stomping towards the pair, intent on sending one of them flying to the moon.
"Give me back my son! He has to marry Akane, to join the schools!" Soun and Genma were shouting in perfect chorus as they followed behind Akane, who glared behind her.
"Like I would want to marry that pervert! I bet he planned this all from the beginning!"
"Oh brother..." Ranma groaned, massaging his brows with his fingers. Shampoo took a protective step in front of her husband, while Cologne contemplated whether or not she could dare to use any of her more explosive techniques in this particular environment. Deeming the risk to spectators too great, she decided to settle for a more psychological attack.
"Genma Saotome! Do you not want my great-granddaughter's dowry?" She called.
The fat man stopped dead in his tracks, "Dowry? What exactly do you mean by dowry?"
Soun stared at his best friend in shock, "Saotome! What are you doing! We have to get Ranma back and marry him to Akane!" Akane was about to respond when Genma held up a hand.
"Now, now, Tendo. We should hear the woman out concerning her offer… at least then we can grab Ranma after we refuse it!" Soun looked troubled but stayed silent.
"I am a matriarch of Joketsuzoku! And thusly Shampoo, my great-granddaughter and heir, commands a worthy dowry by virtue of her rank. How does a bag of gold sound to you?" Cologne called back, ignoring Ranma & Shampoo's confusion.
Genma had been set to refuse just about anything but the moment gold came into the question, Genma immediately nodded furiously as Soun shouted in horror, "Saotome, no!"
But it was too late, the greedy Saotome patriarch had pushed past a now confused Akane to stand in front of Cologne, "So then, how much gold are we talking here?"
"Five kilos." Cologne answered back immediately, prompting the jaws of everyone concerned to drop and their eyes to bulge- especially the Saotomes. That was... well, they were used to getting by on so little cash that they didn't really know how to describe that much money. Beyond several fortunes worth.
"Sold!" Genma was now shaking Cologne's hand vigorously as Soun could only watch in horror as everything fell apart in front of him as the deluded man watched that promise the two of them had made so many years ago get tossed aside, all for some gold.
"Saotome...how could you? After all these years..." The man was shaking now in absolute shock as Genma smiled and dusted his hands off with a pleased look on his face.
Genma for his part simply looked confused, "What are you talking about Tendo? We both knew that promise was so we could live in luxury, and that good for nothing finally got us the way to easy street. We're rich! And we can live out our lives comfortably now that we have all that gold! We can buy everything we'll ever need with that much money!"
Ranma watched as Soun & Genma started to argue, not really hearing things. He'd been traded off before -he knew that all too well- but to be literally sold off, like he wasn't even a human being, that was a hurt that managed to pierce even his hide. He became dimly aware of someone tugging on his sleeve.
"Ranma, we go now while stupid men argue."
Ranma decided not to argue- as far as he was concerned now, he and Genma were strangers. Without so much as a second glance he boarded the plane- by the time Soun, Genma and Akane realised what had happened, the plane had taken off and Ranma was on his way to China.
Ranma didn't so much as glance at the window once as the plane took off, still fuming over Genma's actions. Shampoo, seated beside him, had latched onto his hand yet again and was pressing up against him, something she tended to do and which he had to admit was kind of nice. Especially seeing as how she never hit him for it. Seated behind them, in a seat to herself, Cologne cackled softly- if they hadn't been airborne, she probably would have pulled out her pipe for a victory smoke.
"You know, son-in-law, I never thought too much of your father's intelligence, but I have to say he really outdid himself there. Imagine letting you go for a mere 5 kilos of gold!"
"What do you mean by that?" Ranma asked, his confusion temporarily pushing aside his irritation.
Shampoo chose that moment to speak up. "In Joketsuzoku, we no use dowries like in Japan. Instead, family boy marry into give payment to his old family. Sort of like reverse dowry..."
"So, basically, you were giving my old man... 'my' dowry?" Ranma asked, digesting that fact to see how it tasted.
"Yes, and cheap at the price- I wouldn't have hesitated to pay three times that amount for you." Cologne interjected, cackling to herself again at Genma's greediness and foolishness.
In the real world, Ranma's expression mirrored that of the one in the enchanted mirror's surface. Total disbelief. He made a mental note to never let out that he was worth money to the Amazons... though a part of him couldn't help but wonder just what might happen if Nabiki did find out that little nugget of information. He shook his head to clear that from his mind -his life was chaotic enough as it was- and returned his attention to the mirror. He didn't want to live through the entirety of this Ranma's early days in Joketsuzoku, so he decided to instead focus on a number of points that looked particularly noteworthy. First of all, going back to Jusenkyo...
The Jusenkyo Guide inhaled deeply on his pipe, held the smoke in his mouth for a few seconds, then puffed it out deliberately, beaming in pride at the size of the resultant smoke ring. What? Jusenkyo was an isolated valley in the mountains- he had to make his own amusement somehow. And he wasn't as stupid as the last guy, who once tried taking a leak in one of the springs "just for the hell of it". He winced as he remembered what the Jusenkyo Preservation Society had done to him.
He had just inhaled another mouthful of smoke and was about to make a new smoke ring when there was a sudden mechanical roar, accompanied by a chorus of screams, the sudden uproar causing him to swallow his smoke in shock as a battered Chinese-manufactured jeep suddenly came roaring over a low-hanging ledge, half-crashing and half-skidding to a halt in the mud. As he choked and spluttered on the swallowed smoke, the UAZ's doors practically flew open as two teenagers, a young man and... a monkey on a stick?... spilled out. The teens began puking in the mud as the monkey turned to the man.
"I am going to speak with your parents when we get home! Your driving has gotten worse- I didn't think that was possible!"
The green-haired man simply grinned back mockingly at her, getting a clout to the forehead from the monkey's staff in response before it hopped over to the dumbstruck guide.
"Greetings, honorable sir. My children and I are in need of your assistance." The monkey said, speaking in Chinese for once- a rare thing nowadays it seemed.
"Of course, honorable monkey-" he got no further than that before the monkey bounced its stick off his head. "I mean, honorable grandmother. How may I help you?"
"My children have both been afflicted with Jusenkyo curses, and are now in need of the antidote waters. Please fetch them for me."
"Of course, madam. That will be one cask of Nanniichuan and one cask of Nyanniichuan. Now, where did I leave those buckets...?"
He ambled off to his house to fetch them, then set about collecting the water. He handed the bucket containing Nanniichuan over to the young boy with the pigtail, who looked weirdly familiar, and then gave the bucket of Nyanniichuan to the blue-haired girl, who likewise seemed familiar. As the two teens cured themselves and began to dance for joy, the guide commented an aside to the old woman with the hurty stick.
"It's very strange for visitors to come to Jusenkyo so quickly."
"What do you mean?" The old woman asked.
"Not more than three days ago, I had a boy who came to train- the stupid idiot walked right into the Yahzuniichuan."
"It figures- Mousse always was a birdbrain."
"Pardon?"
"Never mind." The woman turned and bounced over to the teens. She watched them dance for a few seconds, then caught their attention with an exaggerated cough. "Shall we walk back to the village, or shall we have Chen Xingke drive us there?"
The teens froze, looked at Cologne, looked at the Amazon man in his mid-20's, who gave them a frightening smile back, then shouted as one... "Walk!"
Chen didn't look at all offended, simply climbing back into the UAZ and driving it off (much to the guide's surprise; he'd have thought a vehicle that battered would have been a category for the junkyard) as the remaining three turned and began walking off towards the Joketsuzoku village.
Skip forward a few hours...
"Okay, if you'll just sign your name here..." said the young woman, passing over an ink-laden calligraphy brush to Ranma, who hesitantly took it and, as neatly as he could manage, signed his name in the scroll currently held open for him. The woman frowned a little at Ranma's poor handwriting, but said nothing about it, simply taking the brush back.
"Alright then, you, Ranma Saotome, are now formally registered in the tribal archives as the husband of Xian Pu, Student of Khu Lon, Warrior of the Zheng Clan, and likewise a Student of Khu Lon and a Warrior of the Zheng Clan. Have a nice day." This last part was said in the usual bored tone of voice, and Ranma was more than willing to take it as a cue to leave. Once he and the others had left the large building Cologne had led them to once they'd entered the village, he turned to his new 'family' with a simple, succinct question...
"Mind telling me what that was all about? Kind of elaborate for a simple marriage license."
"More than just a marriage license, son-in-law. What we just went through was your official adoption into the Clan- you are now truly one of us."
"Whaddya mean by 'Clan' anyway? And what was with that Warrior stuff?" Ranma asked.
"Though we present a united front to all outsiders, we Joketsuzoku are actually divided into a number of heavily extended families; these are the Clans. Shampoo and myself, and now you, are of the Clan of Zheng- I, in fact, am the Clan Matriarch of War, being the oldest and most skilled member of the Warrior caste." Cologne explained.
"The castes are roughly where a given Joketsuzoku fits into our society; the three of us, as practitioners of truly militant martial arts styles, are members of the Warrior caste. The other three castes are Menials, who may practise martial arts but are focused on more day-to-day pursuits such as cookery, craftsmanship, etcetera, Healers, who attend to the sick and injured, and the Lorekeepers, who are our judicial and bureaucratic caste. Do you understand this?" She asked.
"Simple enough... but, why am I a Warrior?"
"...Are you telling me you wish to give up martial arts?" Cologne asked in disbelief, Shampoo's eyes widening in shock.
"What? No! But... I'm a guy- 100 percent guy now thanks to the cure. Don't that mean I've gotta give the Art up?"
There was silence, bar a single whistling gust of wind, and then Shampoo spoke.
"Ranma joking... right?" Her tone making it quite clear that she expected this to be the case, which made Ranma feel strangely embarrassed.
"Son-in-law, sometimes, you really can be rather stupid. If we shunned the practise of martial arts by men, then why would we go out of our way to win strong martial artist husbands?" Cologne asked scathingly. Ranma wriggled in embarrassment and hesitantly raised a finger.
"To breed stronger daughters?"
"And how long would it take for that investment to pay off, hmm? No, the ideal husband for any female Warrior is a male Warrior- someone who can be their shield-partner, their swordmate, someone with whom they can share the pain and the rewards of the martial arts. You could give up martial arts, if you truly desired, but it would be a waste in the eyes of all of us, man and woman alike."
Ranma coughed while blushing, though the relief he felt was obvious to Cologne and a giggling Shampoo as he quietly stated he wasn't going to give up the Art.
In the real world, Ranma filed the information away, while at the same time also sighing in relief that he wouldn't have to give up the Art, before he decided to focus on a likely sparring session now that he was married and the mirror promptly skipped forwards- at least a week, by his reckoning.
Ranma looked around the training hall, still a little awestruck by the size of it as he waited for his wife to arrive before he saw her out of the corner of his eye, and in the real world, Ranma's jaw dropped at what Shampoo was wearing, or, rather, was barely wearing. His mirror-self seemed to have gotten used to it somewhat, but Ranma felt like he was going to drop dead from explosive exsanguination.
The training clothes Shampoo was wearing essentially could have been loosely described as a tube top and shorts, a tight tube top and shorts that left absolutely nothing to the imagination while the young woman's feet and hands were wrapped tightly in white bandages for protection, though Ranma eschewed that in lieu of bare feet and fists. The two bowed to one another, and then moved.
Ranma's training under Cologne and other fight-masters had improved his skills to new levels while Shampoo was also closely matched to him as they traded punches, kicks, knees, blocks and counters before Shampoo grabbed Ranma and pulled him close into a throw, though Ranma was sure that rubbing against him was not part of the move as he was tossed away to spin and land nimbly as Shampoo dashed forwards.
Ranma smirked and without even saying the technique name, jabbed a finger into the stone floor, creating a cloud of dust that made Shampoo skid to a halt only to meet Ranma's fists and feet before a hard strike made her roll away to gain some space. Glancing first at the hole in the floor, and then at her opponent, Shampoo smirked before speaking in fluent Japanese, "You know you're going to have to replace that."
In the real world, Ranma raised an eyebrow as his alternate self replied in fluent Mandarin, "Only if you win."
The two moved into action again, both launching the Amaguriken technique and both were obviously close to mastering the technique, there wasn't even a motion blur to show the strikes, just flashes of fist or arm that were barely visible as Ranma watched the fight in awe.
It was obviously a light sparring session in terms of the techniques used, nothing that Ranma hadn't seen in fighting Cologne before, but Shampoo's own level of skill was a vast improvement over her abilities in reality- she hadn't been this impressive in reality even while the Reversal Jewel had convinced her that she absolutely hated him and Ranma had been holding back. Despite Shampoo's rather flirtatious opening gambit, however, she was purely business during the actual fight- though one had to wonder whether the pleased smile she was wearing was entirely due to her sharing Ranma's own enthusiasm for martial arts, whether it was based entirely in enjoyment of the sparring session. For at least half an hour the two battled each other, before Ranma finally made a slip- a relatively minute one, a mere overextension of himself that, in the real world, even Ryoga would have had trouble capitalizing on. But which Shampoo promptly seized advantage of, locking Ranma into a grapple.
"I think you're slowing down husband if you're falling for this technique. Getting tired already?" Ranma smirked at his wife's teasing voice as she emphasized her words by playfully tugging on his long ponytail with a soft hand.
Ranma adopted a thoughtful expression, "Hmm...maybe I'm just saving energy to mount a proper counter-offensive? Something like...this!" Ranma twisted with a loud cracking and his arms slid out of the hold and before Shampoo could even yelp, the hold was reversed so that Ranma was pinning Shampoo, "So, how's that for an answer?"
Shampoo simply smiled demurely before pushing her waist up and rubbing her ass against a certain area of Ranma's body, earning a blush bright enough to light up a dark room. Ranma's expression suddenly altered in a subtle way, as though something had just gone 'click' inside his mind. Releasing one hand, he gently reached up and gave Shampoo's cheek a single tender stroke, much to Shampoo's shock- and apparent delight. Before anything else could occur though, Cologne appeared at the doorway.
"If you two are quite done 'sparring', then I need to speak with you two about something."
The matriarch turned and was about to pogo-hop off when she paused and turned her head to glance over her shoulder, "And son-in-law, you're fixing that hole. You made it after all. And Shampoo, be sure to help him, won't you?" Ranma's blush could have set paper alight with the heat as Shampoo nodded with a smile that would have the Cheshire Cat proud.
In the real world, Ranma swallowed hard to stave off his own blush as to what 'help' Shampoo was likely to provide, before he decided to see what the wedding night would have been like; it was obvious that his alternate self was putting it off for a while. The mirror began fast forward in time…
"Uh...Shampoo? Could we talk? In private I mean?" Shampoo regarded her husband as he stood there dressed for bed, with a decidedly nervous expression on his face, before she nodded- and quick as a flash the two were sitting on a section of rooftop.
"So, what do you want to talk about?" Shampoo asked, rubbing a bandaged section of her arm, the latest result of one of the formerly secret fights she had been fighting in defense of his honor due to the fact he had not yet performed that most important of marital duties and a brief flicker of shame and regret went across his face. He took a deep breath and scooted closer to her before he spoke.
"I...I was thinking about our relationship." Shampoo tensed but Ranma continued, "I know I haven't been exactly...willing, I guess I could say, to...you know, consummate our marriage..."
Shampoo nodded, looking down at the ground rather than at Ranma, while trying to keep her own expression stoic. Ranma noted that with a twinge of guilt, but continued as best he could.
"But I wasn't exactly in the right state of mind to be wanting to do that, I guess, thanks to pops and his drive to make me a perfect martial artist, and what with Akane always putting me down. But after being here, being with you, I think I'm getting what some people in Nerima talk about when they say they love someone."
Shampoo's head lifted up to meet Ranma's gaze as he continued.
"When this whole thing started, I guess I was resentful. Resentful at myself for losing that fight, resentful at Cologne for bribing the old man, and resentful at the old man for being so greedy. And, I suppose, a little resentful at you for coming back into my life."
Only her training stopped Shampoo from breaking down in tears as her husband seemingly made his feelings clear, her gaze and face both falling despite that. It was at that point that Ranma suddenly reached over, gently but firmly clasping her hand with his own.
"But..." Shampoo's head rose again and she resumed looking into Ranma's eyes, eyes alight with a feeling she didn't quite recognize and which had been fixed on her own all along. "But then I came here, and things slowly began to change."
Ranma looked away from her then, gazing up at the moon and stars, "I found myself part of a clan that respected me, I found myself living a life that I enjoy. And I found myself sharing it with someone I recently admitted to myself that I love, now that I finally understand what it means." Shampoo's eyes were wide as Ranma's face turned to regard her, "I guess this is my long-winded way of saying that I want to be your husband, and I mean truly be your husband."
Shampoo's reaction was instantaneous as she tackled Ranma and kissed him with everything she had and Ranma replied in return as their hands began to move before Shampoo stopped suddenly, "We should head inside."
Ranma nodded, "Yeah, it's a little cold out here."
Shampoo shook her head, "No, that perverted old woman Chow is watching." Ranma blinked, then turned his head slightly in the direction Shampoo was looking to see a wrinkled old woman's face watching through binoculars with a grin that would have made Happosai proud.
"Yeah...maybe we should head inside...quickly."
The image then began to fade in the mirror, the view of the teenage husband and wife dissolving into the usual mists, waiting for Ranma's mind to direct the Eye to view another timestream.
And that's another chapter up and done. We didn't exactly intend for this oneshot to have so much length to it, but that's the way the dice rolls. As always, please read and review- especially leaving your vote on what oneshot Gideon020 and I should tackle next. We also have a new oneshot idea; what if Soun hadn't interrupted Ranma flirting with Kasumi while he was wearing the Lady-Killer Bandaid? So, if you have any ideas for oneshots (within the established parameters: anime only, OAV 1 or earlier), feel free to toss them up! And if anyone wants to 'borrow' a base-concept from this story and try and run with it themselves, they're free to do so... so long as they stick to the original goal of doing something that isn't Ranma/Akane. Too many of those out there already.