The Super Awesome Amazingly Wonderful Terrific Splendifuric Notebook of Notebooks That Will Never Stop Growing (Vol. 7)
This journal belongs to: Ino Yamanaka and Sakura Haruno
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Growing Up, Growing Older, and Getting (THE FUCK) Over It:
The Top Ten Reasons Why Sasuke Uchiha is an Asshole Anyway.
(from: Sakura with commentary from Ino)
01. He's too emotionless. (Unless you get him alone in a bedroom, apparently.) (Ino!) (Sorry.)
02. He spends too much time playing sports. Who even PLAYS a sport every season? Hello, isn't there supposed to be a "break season" or something at some point in time? (Asshole needs to learn how to spend time with his girlfriend!)
03. HE IS THE REASON WHY I AM NOT VALEDICTORIAN, DAMMIT. (And no Ino, I do not need to get drunk.) (…dammit!)
04. I do not care if he's captain of the boy's varsity lacrosse team. I still think he cradles the ball funny. (…I do not have a witty comment for this.)
05. I do not like his cologne. Drakkar Noir sucks, okay? (You're such a liar.) (Shut up.)
06. He does not have a six-pack. SHUN THE MUSCLE-LESS FREAK, OKAY? (Actually, personally, I find six-packs a little creepy.)
07. I love Naruto, but dating Sasuke meant having to spend WAY too much time around Naruto Uzumaki. Do you know how irritating Naruto is when he's high? (No, I can't say I do. Because I choose to save myself the pain and get high with him. Winkwink.)
08. DEALING WITH THE FANGIRLS, OH MY GOD. They're so pushy and creepy and stalker-y and obsessive and every single one of them is a fucking creeper. Seriously. (Amen. A-freakin'-men.)
09. The atmosphere of his house. I kind of figured the Uchihas were high in status (hello, Uchiha-Hyuuga Inc.?), but going to his house was always sort of overbearing, like I wasn't living up to the highest standard. That, and Itachi is freakin' scary. (Yeah, scary SEXY.) (…Ino.) (Sorry.)
10. HE'S DATING KARIN NOW. UM, WHO DUMPS ME, A NORMAL, RESPECTABLE GIRL, FOR KARIN THE WHORESLUTBITCH? SERIOUSLY, WHAT. (You forgot "skank".) (Oh, ily.)
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Leaf Preparatory Academy
Student Agenda Book
This agenda belongs to: Sakura Haruno.
Grade: 12.
Homeroom: Room 331, Hatake.
Dorm: 7.
Room No.: 214.
If found, please return to the owner.
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Wednesday, September 10th:
Objectives: Try not to skip AP Bio. again. Haaa. (Why haven't I switched out again?)
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Thursday, September 11th:
Objectives: Come up with an appropriate WAR PLAN (yes, in capitals) against The Bitch.
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Psh, who said Leaf Prep was friendly, anyway?
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Bombshell Records
ANGELforSHOW
III: this is what will be our glory
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It is 1:56 AM. It's not that late, but it's definitely the wrong time to be staying up on a friggin' school night.
Ino is nodding off next to me, but she's still writing during her random moments of consciousness. Her handwriting is steadily getting more and more illegible, but whatever.
I shake her awake. "Let's call it a night," I suggest to her. "C'mon pig, the WAR PLAN is done. We're geniuses. We're so freakin' winning, it's not even funny." I yawn and pull Ino up from my desk chair. She fumbles a little bit to her feet, and pulls her purple bathrobe tighter around her.
"'Night, Pig!" I tell her, walking her through the door. Her dorm is two doors down.
Ino smiles at me, and even with her eyes half-closed, I can still see the fire in her sky blue eyes. "That bitch is so going down."
Thank GOD, Ino Yamanaka is my best friend. Seriously.
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I definitely walk into AP Bio the Thursday morning with the biggest smile on my face since "Breaking Dawn" came out (even though it sucked) (a lot).
I have to say, I'm pretty proud of myself. I look awake, even though I feel like absolute crap on the inside. I feel superbly light-headed at the moment, because I'm really just running on coffee in my system and sugary breakfast foods. But hey, if a 2:00 AM plotting session doesn't warrant break-age of the caffeine and sugar rule, then what does?
I had a pack of frosted strawberry Pop-Tarts this morning for the first time since 7th grade (because, ohmyfuckingGOD did you know they're 400 calories a pack? Horrifying.). I also chugged 4 espressos (they're tiny, gimme a break) and made a latte to-go.
So…so much for the "Don't drink too much caffeine!" goal. I fail. I admit it, I fail really badly. Like to epic proportions. But it doesn't matter. Because Ino and I made a killer plan. Yes, the WAR PLAN is ready. …Mostly, anyway.
More on that later though.
I sit down at my desk in AP Bio, and I shove my bag into the seat next to me, pull out my books, and squeeze the homework assignment in the tiniest space possible in my agenda book. (Come on now—we all know that agendas are definitely NOT for just homework. They're for homework and social life planning (with a 1:3 ratio, of course!).)
Kabuto-sensei wanders into the classroom, placing his briefcase on his desk and muttering to himself (seriously, this guy is such a creeper), before pulling up some notes off of Microsoft Word on his laptop and projecting it through the presenter. "Copy them," he orders us, "and read the chapter," before walking hastily back through the door.
Like I said, creeperrrr.
Like hell we'll copy the notes.
One of the kids who actually care decides to be smart and forwards the notes to all of our emails, and two seconds later the notes are in all of our inboxes.
I lean back against my chair and write with my notebook on a propped-up knee. This is the scouting position—I can see everyone, but they don't ever notice I'm observing. I title my paper something about proteins and enzymes, and scrawl half a definition down so it looks like I've been working.
And then—the scout—the hunt—begins.
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To: Ino
From: Sakura
we're in business, bby.
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To: Sakura
From: Ino
don't forget the spitballs. make me proud.
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To: Ino
From Sakura
oh definitely since when do i NOT?
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The Super Awesome Amazingly Wonderful Terrific Splendifuric Notebook of Notebooks That Will Never Stop Growing (Vol. 7)
This journal belongs to: Ino Yamanaka and Sakura Haruno
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THE WAR PLAN.
A step-by-step process to BRING THAT BITCH DOWN.
(from: Sakura and Ino)
(started via note passing in calculus,
ending with a 2:00 AM planning session.)
Okay, so the WAR PLAN.
Objective: To bring Karin the Whore down.
Alright. We all know that Karin's key to life is her possession of her two favorite things: popularity and Sasuke.
So if we take those away from her, we win, right?
Precisely. (:
I know you're smart Piggy, but how are we going to take those away from her? She treasures Sasuke and popularity more than a fat boy does a box of chocolate-frosted doughnuts.
Um, that's the problem. This is why we're WAR PLAN-ing, stupid.
Touché. (We have to take the other things that she treasures away from her too y'know—her looks, her cover-up life, etc, btw.)
You are SO bitter. I love it. But yeah. I think we should start with ruining her popularity. Without her followers, Karin is nothing.
I think we should start with Sasuke. Loosing Sasuke would be loosing tons of popularity as well.
…okay let's figure that out later. I say we stay behind the scenes and get other people to do the dirty work for us.
Definitely not! There won't be as much satisfaction if we let Ami or that little seventh grader—Moegi or something?— do it. And they might not do it right.
This may take longer than I anticipated. Dammit Sakura, I had a date today too.
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The Super Awesome Amazingly Wonderful Terrific Splendifuric Notebook of Notebooks That Will Never Stop Growing (Vol. 7)
This journal belongs to: Ino Yamanaka and Sakura Haruno
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THE WAR PLAN.
(the real plan this time.)
(from: Sakura AND Ino)
Part A: Popularity Dictatorship.
01. Uproot the Slut Squad. (Make them loose their confidence in their leader-bitch!)
02. Sabotage Karin's "perfection": her "hot" body, "good" hair, and "sweet" personality..
03. Make her fucking invisible. (She can be dead to life, pretty much.)
(Complete Part A with actions in Part C.)
Part B: Boyfriend, Bitch. (The two are quite synonymous, thankyouverymuch.)
01. Make B.B. (boyfriend bitch) realize how repulsive Karin is. (Both inside and out.)
02. Pass along some rumors (even though they're totally true) about Karin cheating on him.
03. Bonus! Get B.B. to realize how wonderful Sakura is, and how much of a loser he was to have cheated on her with Karin of all people.
04. Bonus! Perhaps win back Sasuke for Sakura?
05. Get Sasuke to catch Karin in the act of cheating. (I KNOW for a fact that she hooks up with Suigetsu when Sasuke's at late-night soccer practices.)
06. There's beauty in the breakup, baby. (Yes, I know that was a bad pun on a song title. Leave me alone.)
Part C: Hi, I'm Karin and I Am NOT Attractive.
01. She has thunder thighs. Let's make it micro-mini skirt day on Monday.
02. Let's get someone to jack her straightener. Her half-slut, half-business skank hair looks even worse when it's curly!
03. Get her scream out some more catty remarks during class! (People will eventually stop thinking she's the sweetest girl ever, right?)
04. Throw spitballs at her with Naruto during AP Bio.
05. Find a way to trip her while she's loading her tray during lunch. Wheee!
06. Get her to admit that she's cheating on Sasuke—out loud.
07. Pull her infamous cockiness out into the open.
08. Get her to sing in public. If bleeding ear drums don't make you hate someone, I don't know what does.
09. Back-to-School dance party…things will happen. (:
10. More methods are still in the making. Smileyfacesmileyface.
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Ino and I aren't stupid.
We figured that they only way we'll be able to bring Karin (bitch!) down, would be if we had some help. After all, sabotaging the popularity of one of the, I admit, most liked, girls in the senior class is a big task. We need help, and it's going to be hard finding the right people.
If our Coalition of Anti-Skanks is going to be successful, we need the right people—they can't be backstabbing bitches. If we're found out, it's all over. If they people we choose are too whiny and absorbed, we'll get found out anyway. The Coalition isn't just a group of people out to take down a bitch—it's a band of friends who share the same utter hatred for Karin. She's ruined some aspect of our life at some point in time, and we personally want her to freakin' pay.
Which is why we asked Naruto to be our number one.
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By the fourth day of AP Bio (Thursday-slash-TODAY, to be precise), our class had already rearranged itself into little clique-ish groups. There aren't many of us, but since the senior class this year is made up of bitches and reclusive idiots, our tiny class is segregated anyway.
Let's review. AP Biology is a small class. There's me, Naruto, Shikamaru, Stalker Girl, Stalker Boy, Shino, Gaara, Bitch, and Boyfriend de Bitch.
The two stalker kids sit together (um, I think their names are Kin and Zaku or something), and Bitch and her boyfriend are cozied up at a table secluded near the back (right by the bunsen burners and frozen frogs. Ooh, romantic.). Shikamaru, Shino, and Gaara all sit with each other and...don't talk. That leaves Naruto and I together in the back of the classroom (we're near the windows, and across the room are Karin and Sasuke).
Kabuto-sensei is teaching us about acids and bases (how elementary, tch), so everyone in our entire class is bored out of their mind. Kabuto's waxing poetic about hydrochloric acid, while the rest of us have already managed to read the chapter and do the homework on it.
Everything is set up, so I start the recruitment.
"Hey Naruto," I whisper, nudging him in the arm with my elbow. Millions of things to say run through my mind while I watch him slowly pull his head up from the nest he makes with his arms.
"What?" he answers sleepily. He blinks a few times and then turns fully toward me. "Yeah?"
I smile, and I can see the slight grin on Naruto's face start to fade really quickly. "Uh oh, Sakura, I know that smile, and I know good things don't come out of it," he started, scratching and rubbing his face in irritation.
I roll my eyes. Liesss. "That's so not true, besides, just hear me out," I pause for a minute to make sure he's listening. "What if I told you that Ino and I came up with a way to make things go back to normal…" I start, The Smile growing wider.
Naruto's attention is totally captured by now. It's no secret that he totally hates how much he had to change things ever since his best friend started dating the local whore. He had no one to get drunk with over the summer, and now he has to spend his meals in silence while watching Karin suck Sasuke's tonsils out, 'cause him leaving Sasuke to sit with me would be considered man-code treason or something. Gross.
"Tell me more," he whispers eagerly.
It sounds terrible, but I haven't felt this good since last year, since Sasuke and I were together. "Ino and I have a WAR PLAN," I start. My eyes narrow wickedly. "And we're going to destroy Karin."
Naruto fights the urge to let out a low whistle and hums in appreciation instead. "That's daring," he tells me. But his own wicked smile starts to form on his face. "Do it."
"So you're in?" I ask.
"I'm so in," Naruto answers with another wolfish grin.
And then we pinky-swear on it, because, hello, hand shaking is so cliché.
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To: Ino
From: Sakura
naruto's totally in.
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To: Sakura
From: Ino
freakin' YEAH!
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"HEY PARTY PEOPLE!"
When Ino enters a room, she's the kind of person who makes a loud entrance. Everyone drops what they're doing and they look at her and ogle for a bit, and then they move on with their lives.
Which is precisely what everyone did when she barged into my dorm this afternoon after school.
The Coalition of Anti-Skanks is top secret, confidential, and something that no one except for a select few can know about. Members have to have a deep-rooted hatred for Karin, the will to commit to possible illegal activities, and a heart of—
okay, I'm lying. But honestly, turns out, it took a lot for Ino and I to even consider accepting someone into the Coalition.
So…there are only four of us. (And NO it is NOT because everyone loves Karin, okay?)
Ino sits down on my desk chair and crosses her legs, looking very business-y. "Okay, so we all know each other," Ino says casually. "We've gone to school with each since at least 6th grade, and we all have intermingling classes."
She leans forward.
"But, there is one more thing we have in common, something that people who want to stay in their current, comfortable lifestyle do not talk about:"—she pauses dramatically—"Karin, and our hatred for The Bitch."
Ino stands up and walks over to my closet, opening the door and pulling out a white board and a bag of Dry Erase markers before sitting back down and un-capping a bright pink marker. "So while I write the major points of this meeting down, let's all introduce ourselves and explain why we are part of the Coalition," Ino says cheerfully.
She starts. "Hi, I'm Ino Yamanka, and I hate Karin because she's been up my ass and trying to take over everything I've ever worked for since we were ten years old."
It's my turn next. "Um, I'm Sakura Haruno, you guys know that though, and I'm in the Coalition because Karin stole my boyfriend, tried to over-throw my best friend, ruined the life of my other best friend, and she's basically been trying to make me miserable ever since we've met each other."
Naruto perks up at the mention of "my other best friend" and grins. He pockets his iPhone (lucky bitch) an looks at everyone with his (pretty!) eyes and says, "I'm Naruto Uzumaki, and Karin basically fucked up my life by dating the Bastard."
Ino grins behind the white board. "And lastly?" she prompts the fourth Anti-Skank.
He smiles. His teeth sparkle, and his smile is so fake looking, it makes me want to cringe. But he's cute-ish, and he has the whole (clichéd) "talk, dark, and handsome" thing going on for him. Cute-ish Boy's smile doesn't waver, even as he says, "I'm Sai, and Karin's my ex-girlfriend."
Ouch. One look at Sai, and you can totally tell that the shit has hit the fan for his life. And he's STILL cute-ish!
Ino's the best recruiter. Ever.
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The Coalition of Anti-Skanks
Meeting No. 1
Thursday, September 11th at 4:00 PM
Agenda:
+ Introductions (Check!)
+ Presentation & Discussion of the WAR PLAN
+ Mission assignments.
+ Conclusion/wrap-up.
Additional Notes:
+ Everyone should make sure they have the other members' cell numbers and that they are available for text messages AT ALL TIMES. Being a part of the Coalition is a big responsibility, and if you aren't prepared to give it your all, leave now.
+ Sakura and Ino are bringing ice cream next time! Any flavor requests?
+ Next Meeting: Sunday night (Sept. 14th) at 5:00. Be sure to have completed your first mission by then!
And remember...WE'RE TAKING THAT BITCH DOWN.
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Ino and I had oh-so-kindly used our free periods today to write the WAR PLAN down on posterboard. Each part of the PLAN is on a different color board, and it looks pretty freakin' fabulous, if I do say so myself.
Ino has always been the "leader" type, so I have no problem when she presents the WAR PLAN (with many mentions of how I came up with this, or how we both thought of that) to Naruto and Sai. She even whipped out a ruler from my closet (seriously, I didn't even know I had half of this stuff in there), and points at things while she talks.
When she's done, it's up to me to distribute the anti-Karin "missions".
"Okay guys," I say, moving to take the ruler from Ino and point at the posterboards. "Ino and I decided that ruining Karin's rep is more important than getting Sasuke away from her first"—Naruto lets out a noise of either fury or indigestion—"even though it may not be the most desirable course of action."
I point the Poster A and Poster C. "We're trying to get the general public to hate her first, and then we'll work on her little Slut Squad," I say. "The Slut Squad, for those of you who need a refresher, is consisted of most of the underclassmen whores, but, more importantly, Temari, Tayuya, and Kin Tsuchi, a new junior recruit."
I walk around my dorm and pass out notecards, one per person. "These are "mission" cards. They are not allowed to leave this dormitory for security reasons, sooooo memorize them."
Ino and I give everyone ten minutes to look over their cards and ask questions…
…and then we kick them out.
"We'll see you guys at dinner," Ino says, waving Sai and Naruto off. They (but mostly Naruto) grumble about such a "rude sendoff", but they trudge away anyway.
Ino and I take down the posters and put the notecards away, hiding them underneath my bed so no one would walk in and see them. Then, we go off to dinner, feeling rather pleased about our progress.
The WAR PLAN has started, and there isn't anything that'll bring us down now.
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Mission No. 1 Assignments
(created by yours truly, Sakura and Ino)
Ino Yamanaka; Mission No. 1: Popularity Sabotage
- Advocate Micro-Mini Skirt Mondays.
- Find more secret recruits!
Sakura Haruno; Mission No. 1: Popularity Sabotage
- SPIT BALL BONANZA with Naruto!
- Draw out the catty remarks to get people to see what a bitch Karin really is.
Naruto Uzumaki; Mission No. 1: Popularity Sabotage
- SPIT BALL BONANZA with Sakura!
- Make a scene, fight with the Bitch.
Sai; Mission No. 1: Popularity Sabotage
- Steal Karin's hair straightener (you still have her dorm key, right?).
- Write down EVERY secret Karin's ever told you for Ino and Sakura.
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So, let's get this show on the road, dollface.
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This chapter took an unnaturally long time to finish. I apologize if it's boring, but it's a much-needed transitional chapter. The plot starts now, but there was a lot of information that needed to be told this chapter, so yeah. Also, YES, I DID WATCH MEAN GIRLS TO GET INSPIRED FOR THIS.
Review. (: