The next morning, Ford was already gone by the time Stan woke up. It wasn't really that late, Ford was just somehow was able to pull himself out of bed before him.
Stan groaned and sat up. Last night he'd heard his brother pen-clicking away in the dark, and the sound of pages being flipped at the speed of nerd. Ford probably hadn't even slept at all. He'd just gotten caught up with his journal thing and…
Ditched him. Didn't even bother to wake Stan up.
He sighed to himself and headed downstairs.
Mabel was in the kitchen making hash browns.
"Morning, family!" she greeted him, lifting her cup of Mabel Juice.
"Morning, family," he answered, grinning a little. But then he looked away. "Single family member. Have you seen Ford?"
"Oh, yeah." Mabel flipped some browns. "He was in a hurry to leave, just had some juice and then he was gone. Which is a shame, I'm very proud of this breakfast!"
She gestured to two plates sitting on the counter. Each plate was loaded with deliciously crispy hash browns. She'd even drew a smiley face on them in ketchup.
"Well, I appreciate them." Stan grabbed a plate and sat at the table.
Mabel smiled, grateful. "Well then, let's dig in!"
They had a pretty messy breakfast, slathering their hash browns with lots of ketchup. Stan didn't think he'd ever change his opinion of Mabel Juice, so he just teased Mabel while she drank hers and then they played with the plastic toys from her cup. He was feeling better already.
He scraped the last of the browns off his plate and stood up. Why couldn't he just head over to the arcade today? If Ford was going off on his own adventure, so could he!
Stan went back upstairs, loaded quarters into his pockets, and had nearly made it out the back door when he realized Mabel had opened the Shack for business. Which wasn't a big deal, except that suddenly he remembered a certain beautiful brunette working the cash register.
Carla.
Hmmm. Arcades were for finding digital treasure. Perhaps today's adventure could include also include a hot babe?
Stan hurried outside, spotted Mabel on the lawn, and followed her into the Gift Shop behind a gaggle of tourists.
"So, Mabel," Stan started. "what's Carla like?"
"Oh, she's super fun! But she's not here today, sorry."
"What?!"
"I have a different person working at the cash register during the weekend," she explained. "But I bet you gonna like him, too! His name is Daniel, or Dan, for short." She pushed open the Gift Shop door.
Dan-who-was-definitely-NOT-Carla was very easy to spot. He didn't seem much older than Carla, but he was built like a brick house, with fiery red hair stuffed under an ushanka hat. His chin and chest were likewise sprouting tufts of manly hair over seriously ripped muscles.
Stan had to admit, the guy looked like a pro-wrestler wrapped in flannel.
Dan was frowning with boredom, bushy eyebrows knitted together, but as soon as he saw Stan his face instantly lit up.
"Hey there!" he boomed, reaching over and grabbing Stan's hand. The guy had a grip strong enough to make his joints pop.
Stan stares at his slightly achy hand, eyes sparkling. "Wow. Good grip."
"You must be Stanley! Or Stanford." Dan scratched his fuzzy chin. "Mrs. Pines been talking about you two for ages! You two are twins, right? Where's the other one?"
"He ditched me for some nerdy quest or whatever," Stan said. "It's Stanley, by the way, and this is your lucky day. You got to meet the cooler twin first!" He grinned and pointed both thumbs at his chest.
Dan laugh and ruffled Stan's hair. "Sure thing."
Stan smiled proudly because it seemed like Dan actually meant it.
Mabel smiled at them. "You two be good now, I have some tours to give." She pulled out an old wooden cane with a miniature disco ball glued to it and walked away, whistling.
But she'd only taken a few steps when Norman the Creepazoid walked through the door. Mabel jumped back with a small scream.
"Oh, it's you!" She tried to laugh it off, adjusting her fez. "Haha, again…"
Stan scowled. Then he looked over and saw Dan scowling, too.
I knew I liked Dan, Stan thought.
Norman presented Mabel with a heart-shaped box of sweets. "Here," he grunted.
Stan had half a mind to deck the guy, especially since Dan seemed like he'd back Stan up. But before he could, Mabel ran back to the counter and shoved Stan forward.
"Hey!"
"Stan, this is Norman!" Mabel said loudly. "Have you met my grand nephew, Stanley? I think you two would get along great! He's almost 13!"
Stan glared daggers at Norman. A bead of sweat rolled down Norman's face.
"Uh," Norman grunted.
"You little rascals have fun! Without me. Please." She pushed Stan even closer to Norman, gave them both a pat on the back, and then hurried out of the Gift Shop at twice her usual speed.
Norman started nervously at Stan, who responded with a snarl.
"... Chocolate?"
"Get lost!" Stan barked, brandishing his fist. "And don't bother my Grauntie again!"
Norman fled. The sight of his fearful backside was quite satisfying.
"Dude," Dan said.
Stan turned, slightly embarrassed.
But Dan was grinning. "That guy gives me the heebie-jeebies, too!"
Stan really liked Dan, but eventually, Stan said goodbye and went to look for his brother. he was still kinda angry at Ford for leaving him without a word, but he was also a little worried about him, too.
Fortunately, he didn't have to go far - he spotted Ford in a bush outside the Shack. Ford probably thought he was being all subtle, but anyone could see his binoculars poking through the leaves.
"You're not as stealthy as you think, you know?"
Ford didn't so much as jump. He just brandished the journal and a camera at Stan. "Then help me out already!"
Stan glanced at the camera. It was a disposable one their mom had given them - he imagined she was hoping for precious summer of their trip, not one of his brother's mystery hunts. But she should have seen that coming when leaving Ford in charge of it.
"What are you spying on, anyway?" Stan asked, taking the camera.
Ford pointed. "That guy. Normal Man."
"Norman?"
"He's definitely a zombie!" Ford flipped through the pages of the journal and held up a two-page spread about zombies. It looked like Ford had started adding his own notes, too. "Did you notice how he never blinks!? I'm telling you! Zombie!"
Stan rolled his eyes. "Maybe he's blinking when you're blinking."
Ford fumed and retreated back into his bush. Stan resisted the urge to laugh.
"Fine! I'll help you." Stan crouched down and pushed some of the leaves out of the way. "Not because I believe you, but because Norman is a creep. Though I think I did a good job scaring him off already."
"No, I saw him hand that chocolate box to Mabel right after you "scared" him."
"WHAT?!"
"But when he ran out the Gift Shop, his hand fell off! Here, I -" Ford glanced at the camera. "Well, I can't show right now, but we can get the photos developed. The proof is right there, I'm sure of it!"
"So, what do you mean 'his hand fell off'?"
The boys had headed to the town, looking for a place they could get the photographs developed.
"His hand just...fell off!" Ford makes a gesture, pretending to rip off one of his hands. "Then he just picked it up and put it back. He gotta be a zombie!"
Stan wasn't sure if he should be more concerned about Ford, or if he should actually worry that Norman might eat Mabel's brain.
They turned onto Main Street and found a place with an old-timey photo booth in front of it. Two teenage guys came out of the booth, giggling over a strip of photos in their hands.
"I think these came out great!" one said.
"Edwin." The other put his hand on the first guy's shoulder. "You always look great."
The couple of teens walk away, giggling some more.
Stan and Ford exchange weirded-out looks before entering the store. It was small and crammed with old-timey camera gear, and there was just one dusty-looking employee lurking in the back.
The good news was that they were the only customers in the store, so they could get the film developed right away.
The bad news was that all the photos were too blurry to prove a thing.
"Maybe two cups of Mabel Juice with an empty stomach wasn't the best idea." Ford muttered, looking at the shaky pictures.
Stan paused, frowning at one particular picture. He couldn't really tell what it was, but it looked like Norman was picking up something off the ground. Something the color of flesh.
Ford had gone back to the counter. "Excuse me," he asked, pointing to a camera behind the cashier. "How much is that one?"
Stan grabbed his arm. "What are you doing? Pa is gonna kill us if we spend his money like that!"
"I know, but it's for a greater cause!"
"He's not gonna like that."
"We still can take lots of family pictures! That will make Ma happy, and…maybe we'll be off the hook?"
Stan doubted it.
Ford read his look correctly, but turned back to the counter anyway. "If something happens, I'll tell him it was my idea."
They ended up buying a new camera. It was small, cheap, and even digital - so they could see their pictures right away.
Ford couldn't wait to start messing with it, so they sat in front of the store while Ford unboxed it. The camera came with a wrist strap and a lens that zoomed in and out.
He was both excited by the feeling of opening something new and worried about what their dad was gonna say.
"That's actually pretty sweet," Stan commented, checking over the camera. "Hey, let's take a picture!" He pulled his brother close and Ford held out his arm.
Click!
The picture showed Stan stretching out the corners of his mouth with his fingers, and Ford smiling while giving his twin bunny ears.
"Hey!" Stan laughed, playfully punching his brother on the shoulder.
Ford laughed as well and got to his feet. "Alright, let's roll!" He ran ahead. "Monster hunt! Monster hunt! Monster hunt!"
Stan rolled his eyes, but followed Ford, pumping his fists to the chant.
They headed down Main Street, and Ford kept an eye out for Norman. He didn't see him anywhere, but there had to be a way to find him...
"Let's ask some locals," he finally said. "It's a small town, someone must have seen him." He looked around and spotted a teen holding a pen and a notepad, with a press hat over his sandy hair. Ford went up to him. "Greetings, stranger! I'm Stanford Pines, and, uh-" For a second his confidence wavered, but then he felt Stan come up behind him. "I am a paranormal investigator!"
The teen grinned. "I'm Toby Determined, from the Gravity Falls Gossiper!" He tapped his hat for emphasis. The hat had a tag that read "hat" instead of "press".
Stan snickered, and Ford glared at him.
"Anyway," Ford continues. "Have you seen anything weird around here lately?"
Toby thinks for a moment. "No, I haven't. I mean, besides this growth I have on my stomach!" He started to lift up his shirt and the twins screamed and quickly turned away.
"Let's ask someone else!" Ford said, shielding his eyes.
"Wait!" Toby pleads. "I have some amazing dance moves too!" He kicked his feet and tap-danced. "Hachacha!"
"Get lost, man!" Stan says, and he and Ford hurried away.
Behind them, Toby sighs sadly.
After that pathetic encounter, the twins didn't have much luck. The other people they asked were either creeped out or unhelpful.
Stan scowled. "Man, some of these guys are dense as hell! Maybe Norman ate their brains already."
Besides their new camera, the twins returned to the Shack empty-handed.
"This was fruitless." Ford moped, removing the camera's wrist strap from his arm and tucking it away in his jacket. They reached the back porch and Ford threw himself face-down on the sofa.
"I'm a terrible paranormal investigator," he moaned, his voice muffled.
Stan sat down on the couch and gave his brother a pat on the back. "Don't worry, it's not your fault these people are dumb as mud."
Then Stan noticed Ford was breathing more deeply than normal.
And snoring.
He grinned to himself, then got up and headed to the back door. It opened before he reached it and he looked up to see Mabel filling the doorway.
"Hello!"
Stan jumped back, startled, but she didn't seem to notice.
"I have a surprise for you!" she chirped, and held something up.
It was a sweater - sleeveless, sparkly, made out of light orange wool. It had "I'm Pawsome" knitted on the chest, along with the face of a puppy.
Stan frowns. "Um, thaaanks…" He took the sweater, tucked it under his arm, and sidled past Mabel into the shack.
Mabel caught sight of Ford snoozing on the couch like a sleepy kitten. She cooed softly, then picked him up and brought him inside.
Stan watched, still frowning slightly. Not that getting presents wasn't nice, but the sweater wasn't quite his style.
He nodded towards the stairs, and Mabel followed him up to their bedroom.
"Well, I'm gonna clock out," Stan said, as she laid his brother on his bed. "We had a lot of fun today."
"Well, I'm glad to hear that!" Mabel says. "I bet you'll be having lots of fun tomorrow as well!"
"Bet on it." He stretched, yawned hugely, and flopped back onto his own bed.
"Especially because Norman will be coming over to play!"
He fell off the bed.
"Come again?!"
"Norman's coming back tomorrow! Again! You'll get to play with him and take him far, far away from the Shack! Isn't it great?" Mabel smiled, but it looked a little forced. "You should wear your new sweater, too, you'll look so handsome."
Stan gritted his teeth and smiled too. "Sure."
Sometime later, Ford woke up, confused. He remembered being upset about blurry pictures, the near-horror that was Toby's birthmark, coming back to lay down on the couch...and yet somehow he'd ended up in the attic. Weird.
"Hey, sleeping beauty." Stan's voice came from their new-and-improved fort.
Ford sat up slowly, rubbing his head. "What happened? When did we get here?"
"You went out like a candle when we arrived and Grauntie Mabel brought you up here."
Ford's stomach growled.
"You should grab some food," Stan suggested. "Don't worry about Norman."
"But-"
"Tomorrow I'll make sure to scare him away for good." Stan crawled out of their fort, holding up his new sweater. "Grauntie Mabel wants me to wear this though..."
Ford burst out laughing.
Stan chucked a pillow at him. Ford dodged it and ran from the room, still laughing like a maniac.
"SHUT UP! IT LOOKS FINE!" Stan threw the sweater on his bed and dashed after him. "GET BACK HERE!"
Mabel said Norman would be coming around the end of the work shift, and Stan was on edge all day.
He wondered if he could sneak away with his boxing gloves. He had been taking boxing classes for years - those had saved Ford and him from bullies back in New Jersey a few times before. And he really wanted to give Norman a well-deserved knuckle sandwich.
He was even wearing that bright orange sweater Mabel had made. Although he blamed that on sleep deprivation, since Ford had kept him up all night messing with the camera. Of course Stan had woken up and Ford had ditched him - again - but whatever.
Norman showed up in the late afternoon.
"Hey." Norman grunted.
Stan grunted back.
"Mabel said... We're supposed to... Hang out together," Norman said. He gave Stan a once-over. "You look... Shiny."
Stan narrowed his eyes. What was that supposed to mean? Was Norman trying to make fun of him?
Before Stan could decide on a knuckle sandwich or a solid left hook, Mabel suddenly popped into the room behind Stan. He jumped (again).
"You two go have fun now, you scallywags!" She smiled, pushed Stan out of the door, and closed it behind him.
"Gee, thanks." Stan said sarcastically.
"So... D'you wanna go... Throw rocks at the lake?" Norman asked.
"Whatever." Stan said. Why not? Ford was off doing who knew what and Mabel was using him to play keep-away with Norman. At least somebody wanted to hang out with him today.
Norman turned and Stan followed him into the woods.
Norman didn't smell too great, and he had a noticeable limp, but he sure knew his way around the forest really well. They walked through a pretty clear path, up to a lake not too far away from the shack.
When they reached the water, as awkward as he was, Norman collected a few rocks and sat by the edge of the lake. He patted the grass and Stan sat down next to him.
"Here," he said, offering Stan a few rocks. "let's play."
For a while, it was just the sound of the waterfall that fed the lake and their rocks bouncing on the water. Stan even managed to make them skip a few times. Norman just looked like he was throwing the rocks like a spring-loaded catapult.
"Hey, uh..." Stan said finally. He stood up, holding another rock. "You gotta do this with your wrist like this ." He bent his wrist back and snapped it forward, then did it again, this time letting go of the rock. It skipped twice before sinking into the water with a splash. "See? Like so!"
Norman stood clumsily and copied Stan, flicking the rock with his wrist. Except it was more like a muscle spasm and the rock just sank again.
Stan snickered. "Well, that wasn't worse," he said. He stepped up to Norman and grabbed his arm. "You just need to throw it faster and- Whoa, dude! You got some muscles there!"
Norman just grunted.
After about ten minutes, Norman finally skipped his first rock. Stan actually cheered. Norman just grunted, as usual, but he looked pleased.
Huh. Maybe Norman's not so bad.
It was still creepy that he all but stalked Mabel, but maybe he just had a hard time connecting with people. That could be why liked Mabel in the first place. She was pretty friendly and welcoming. She genuinely cared about people.
Stan squeezed the hem of his sweater.
Norman cleared his throat. "Hey, uh... Today was fun," he started, turning slightly away. "But there's... There's something I should tell you."
Stan blinked and looked at him suspiciously. His brother's zombie theories rushed back into his mind. Please don't be a zombie, please don't be a zombie, he pleaded internally.
Norman turned back towards him, holding the zipper of his hoodie. "Just... Just don't freak out, okay? Just... Just keep an open mind, be cool!" He unzipped the hoodie and tossed it away, revealing-
Gnomes. Five gnomes stacked on top of each other.
Stan stared.
The gnome standing on top looked down at him. "Is it weird? Is it too weird? Do you need to sit down?"
He just stood there, mouth agape.
"Right, I'll explain." The top gnome brushed at the brown bangs under his conical red hat. "So! We're gnomes! Get that one out of the way. I'm Jeff..." He gestured towards himself and then to the four other gnomes. "... And here we have Carson, Steve, Jason and - I'm sorry, I always forget your name."
The left leg gnome blinked, wall-eyed. "Shmebulock."
"Shmebulock! Yes!" Jeff snapped his fingers. "Anyways, long story short, us gnomes have been looking for a new queen! Right, guys?"
The gnomes under him nodded, repeating "Queen!" in creepy high-pitched voice.
Jeff smiled. "And we thought Mabel would be a great option! So, what do you say? Would you give us your blessing?"
"What?!" Stan finally snapped out of his shock. "NO WAY! She's a woman and, and... You guys are just a bunch of gnomes!"
Jeff looks down sadly. "We thought you might say that."
"Uh, yeah I would!"
"Today has really been nice," Jeff continued slowly, "but... You're in the way of us getting a new queen. So we're gonna have to kidnap you."
"Huh?"
Before Stan could react, Jeff lunged at him, baring surprisingly piranha-like teeth and screeching. Stan threw up his hands as all five gnomes attacked.
Ford ran back to the Shack as fast as he could.
He'd come back to it in time to see Norman and Stan head off into the forest. Still determined to get proof that his Grauntie's stalker was a zombie, Ford had followed, camera in hand. After an hour of skipping rocks (or sinking them, in Norman's case), Ford had nearly given up. Maybe Norman was just different, and Ford was judging a book by its cover. Norman and Stan even seemed to be getting along.
And then Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes. Razor-teethed gnomes.
Ford had brought along a golf club for protection, just in case, and he'd been just about to leap to his brother's rescue - when dozens and dozens of gnomes poured out of the nearby bushes! Stan disappeared, kicking, punching, and yelling, under a mountain of red-pointed forest piranhas. Within seconds they'd subdued Stan, tied him, up, and carried him even deeper into the trees.
Ford was going to need a lot more than a golf club to rescue his brother. He'd dropped it and started sprinting back to the Shack as fast as he could.
He remembered the page he'd read about gnomes. The original author had indeed encountered them, but hadn't found out about their weaknesses. Ford wasn't sure how to defeat them, either, except maybe get them a lifetime supply of candy and hope for cavities.
As he reached the shack, he searched around for anything that could assist him. Mabel was still giving out tours - even if she weren't busy, he didn't think she could provide help. He ran into the Gift Shop. Disco ball canes? Pitt Cola machine? Leaf blower? Rake?
Then he noticed it through the window: the golf cart!
Someone was cleaning it off when Ford reached it - a big burly guy Ford realized must be Mabel's other cashier.
"Wait, wait, wait!" Ford gasped, running up to him. "You're Daniel! Dan, right? I need-"
"Hey! You must be Stanford!" Dan grinned at him. "I met your brother yesterday. Where have you been? Your, um, grauntie has been telling me a lot about you!" Dran trapped Ford in a very strong handshake.
He saw Dan notice his extra finger and started sweating under his jacket. But he couldn't waste time on that now, his brother was in danger!
"Dan, ow, I need to borrow the golf cart so I can save my brother from a... Uh... A zombie!"
Dan stares at him, astonished. Then he let out a nervous laugh. "Alright, you're funny. Nice to meet you, Stanford." Dan hands out the keys. "Here you go. Bring it back though!"
Ford grabbed the keys and hopped in the cart, swiftly starting the engine.
"Hey, wait, my ax is in the back!" Dan yelled suddenly. He started running after the cart. "Wait you can't take that into the forest, I'll get fired! MY AX!"
"If you don't tell, I won't either!" Ford called back. "And I'm gonna bring your ax back, I promise!"
He drove back through the trees, following the landmarks he'd spotted along the way. He strained his ears, listening for the sound of punching or rabid gnomes.
C'mon, Stan, where'd they take you?
"Mabel, will you join us in holy matrignomey?" Jeff was practicing in front of a mirror he'd nailed to a tree. "Matri... Matri-mo-ny! Blah! Can't talk today!"
Meanwhile, the other gnomes tried to keep Stan tied up and quiet. They were not having much success.
"More like matri-NO-ny!" Stan yelled. "You're never going to marry my grauntie! Now let me go, you son of a-"
Another gnome slapped his hand over Stan's mouth. Stan bit down. The gnome yelped and scuttled away.
"Hey, hey, whoa! The more you struggle, the more awkward this is gonna be for everybody!" Jeff stepped over, taking a small box out of his overalls. He opened it and Stan saw a marriage ring set with a pure white crystal. "Come on, do you think she's gonna like the ring? I picked it out myself!"
A war cry sounded through the forest. Someone jumped from the shadows and drop-kicked Jeff in the knees.
"Let go of my brother!" Ford bellowed.
"Ford!"
Ford rolled to his feet and ran to the gnomes, ax in hand. They scattered as he swung it at them and Ford cut his brother free.
"Thank you!" Stan said, grinning. He punched Ford's shoulder. "Dude, that was awesome!"
"We can talk about it later!" Ford grabbed him and they ran back to where he'd parked the golf cart.
Jeff was already on his feet, shouting for the gnomes to stop them. One of the gnomes jumped at Ford and bit his hand, forcing him to drop the ax. Stan punched it off. They were only a few yards from the golf cart.
"You can't do that!" Jeff screamed. "You have no idea what we're capable of. The gnomes are a powerful race! Do not trifle with the- AAAH!"
The twins dove into the cart and Ford hit the gas, scattering gnomes left and right before zooming away.
Jeff rubbed his head and snarled. "You've messed with the wrong creatures, boy! Gnomes of the forest: ASSEMBLE!"
Other gnomes poked their heads out of the bushes and tree trunks. An incredible number of them poured from every nook and cranny, converging on their leader, lifting him higher and higher…
"Hey, can I drive?" Stan asked, reaching for the steering wheel.
"We're not done yet, they're still after us!"
"I wouldn't worry about it. Have you not seen their little legs? Those suckers are tiny!"
Ford glanced in the rearview mirror. "Well, don't look back now. They're about to prove you wrong."
A loud stomping noise reached their ears. The twins looked back.
Thousands of gnomes had stacked themselves on top of one another, forming a huge red gnome monster, complete with a pointed hat.
Jeff sat at the very top of the hat, controlling it by twisting other gnomes' hats like levers. "Alright, guys! Teamwork, like we practiced!" He cranked a hat-lever.
The gnome threw his fists up in the air and roared, then lunged for the cart.
"FLOOR IT!" Stan yelled.
Ford did, just in time to escape the giant gnome's attack. The impact scattered the gnomes in the creature's fist, but they just collected again and the giant stomped after them, catching up way too fast for comfort.
Ford tried to weave through the trees and lose it, but the monster flung out a hand and half a dozen gnomes went flying from its fingertips. They landed on the cart and started ripping the canvas roof to shreds with their teeth.
A few of them climbed down and tried to attack them - Stan got rid of three of them with a few well-placed left hook. Another jumped for Ford, but he caught it and smashed it against the steering wheel.
"Schmebulock." It groaned, before Ford flung it away.
Another gnome leaped straight for Ford's face and started clawing. Ford jerked the steering wheel.
"STANLEY, DO SOMETHING!" He screamed.
"I GOT YOU, FORD!" Stan punched the gnome over and over, until it finally loosened its hold on Ford's cheeks and fell to the side of the road, taking Ford's glasses with it.
"My glasses!"
"Hang on!" Stan quickly dug around his pockets and pulled a similar pair of glasses, placing them on Ford's face. He noticed a few bruises there as well. Whoops.
Ford gave a choked laugh, pinching his nose to make sure it wasn't broken. "Might be the only time I'm glad you don't wear your glasses."
"I told you, I don't need them!"
"Don't be a knucklehead, of course you d-"
"GNOME!"
The gnome giant had stopped to rip a pine tree right out of the ground. It took aim and threw it like a javelin. They gasped as the tree flew right over their heads and landed on the road ahead of them, almost completely blocking it.
They screamed, Ford turning the wheel as hard as he could. They barely made it through the gap between the tree and a boulder, but the cart's momentum spun it wildly until it tipped and overturned, launching the twins from their seats.
Maybe it would have been a good idea to wear seatbelts.
Stan and Ford crawled away, groaning in pain. At least they'd made it back to the Shack.
They hear the loud stomping noises approach and a giant shadow fell over them.
Ford yelped and scrambled towards the Shack, but the monster cut him off and backed them up against the wall. No, no! If I don't do anything, they'll take Mabel! He started to pull the journal from his jacket-
"Alright, alright! You won, Jeff!" Stan raised his hands in defeat. "You can marry Mabel!"
Ford grabbed his shoulder. "Stan, what are you doing?!"
"Don't worry, I got this." Stan whispered. "Trust me."
Ford was about to argue, then he noticed Stan had one hand behind his back, fingers crossed. He hesitated, then stood back, leaving the journal in his jacket.
Stan looked back up at Jeff. "You have our blessings. But I couldn't take a good look at that ring before, and I just wanna check if Mabel would really like it. Can you show me again?"
"Hot dog!" Jeff exclaimed. "Just a minute. Help me down there, Jason. Thanks, Andy! Alright, left foot, there we go. Watch those fingers, Mike."
He made his way down the gnome monster and trotted up to Stan, taking out the little box from before and presenting the wedding ring smugly. Stan leaned down and rubbed his chin, pretending to analyze the ring. Jeff waited in anticipation.
Suddenly Stan reached back, grabbed the leaf blower and flipped the switch, turning it on. He aimed it right at Jeff.
"Hey, wait a minute! Whoa, whoa, what's going on?" Jeff tried to scramble away, lost his footing, and grabbed the grass with both hands to keep from getting sucked in. The other gnomes gasped in surprise.
"That's for trying to trick me!" Stan barked.
Stan turned the power higher. Jeff got sucked into the pipe with a thunk.
"That's for messing with my grauntie!"
He aimed the blower at the gnome monster. The gnomes tensed.
"And this is for messing with my brother!"
Stan threw the blower's switch back to blow, blasting Jeff towards into the other gnomes like a missile and destroying their formation. Jeff kept right on going, flying over the treetops in a perfect arc, screaming for revenge.
The gnomes scattered everywhere, groaning and stumbling around aimlessly.
"Uuurgh…"
"Who's giving orders, I need orders!"
"My arms are tired."
Stan grinned and hefted the blower. "Anybody else want some?" he demanded, aiming the blower. The gnomes quickly scrambled towards the forest, yelping. "YEAH! And don't come back! No one messes with my family!"
Ford smiled and slapped Stan lightly on the shoulder. "Stan, that was amazing!" he said happily, then his smile fell a little. "I guess you were right about 'Norman'. He wasn't actually a zombie, even if he was a creep, going after Mabel like that."
Stan shrugged. "It wasn't a zombie, but it wasn't a regular guy, either. Never woulda guessed gnomes, though. Maybe next time it will be something cooler, like a vampire!"
Ford chuckled. "Maybe."
Stan held up his hand. "High six?"
"High six."
They slapped hands.
Stan and Ford walked into the gift shop to find Mabel counting the money from the cash register. Apparently, she hadn't heard any of the ruckus outside.
She looked up. "How was - Oh." She looked them over, noticing them all bruises, dirt, and leaves. "What happened?"
"We don't wanna talk about it." Stan said flatly.
"Well, alright." Mabel still looked worried. She smiled weakly and looked around the Gift Shop. "Hey, why don't you two grab something from the store? It's on the house! Then I'll get you two patched up."
Stan and Ford exchanged looks.
"Come on!" Mabel threw her arms wide. "I know you want something!"
Stan cracked a grin. They caught each other's glances, nodded, and began exploring the store.
"Do I want you?" Stan found some magic 8-balls and grabbed one, shaking it while making his question.
Outlook good, it answered.
"Alright, good enough. Welcome aboard, buddy."
"And I will get..." Ford reached into a cardboard box and held up his choice dramatically. "... A crossbow!"
Mabel stared at him for a few seconds. "Well... Okay!"
"What?!" Stan exclaimed. "I get cheap junk and he gets a crossbow?!"
"Aw, could you say 'no' to that happy face?"
"Yes!"
Ford ignored his brother, dug around in the box until he found a bolt, then loaded and fired the bow. The bolt flew through the shop, taking off a chunk of a wooden pillar and jamming itself on a wall across the room.
Ford smiled proudly.
Stan whispered to the 8-ball. "Was this a mistake?" He shakes it.
Ask again later.
Stan glared at it.
After getting patched up by Mabel, they ate dinner and then got ready to go to bed. At least, Stan did. Ford set up a target in their bedroom to practice his aim with the crossbow.
Stan curled up in his bed, trying to fall asleep. A bolt zipped through the room, landing with a thunk and joining a handful of other bolts on the wall. He groaned.
"Stanford, please! I wanna sleep!"
"Alright, alright." Ford sighed.
Stan sighed in relief and tried to make himself comfortable.
CRASH.
He jumped with a yell and turned to find the oil lamp on their nightstand completely smashed to bits. A bolt was embedded in the wall directly over it. Stan groaned and covered his head with the sheets.
"You're welcome!" Ford chuckled. "Good night!"
Ford hopped on his bed and under the covers as well. He pulls out his flashlight, the journal, and a pen. He'd started another entry about the gnomes, with additional information and illustrations on weaknesses.
He adds a small personal note as well: The author of this book said sometimes he felt there was no one he could trust, and indeed, Gravity Falls is a strange place. Surprises may come from where you least expect. But when someone saves you from hundreds of gnomes, they're probably someone you can trust.
Mabel finished cleaning the kitchen and made sure the twins were safe and sound sleeping in their beds. She cracked her sore back with a tired sigh. Now it was past bedtime for anyone who wished to have a decent sleep schedule. But she had work to do.
She walked down the hallway and stopped at the bottom of the stairs. She listened, but both Ford and Stan were snoring away upstairs.
Mabel crossed the living room and went into the Gift Shop.
The vending machine never worked properly, and sat there half-broken for ages. No one ever thought twice about it.
She typed a quick sequence on the number pad. The machine made a brief whirring noise and swung away from the wall like a door, revealing a passage behind it. Mabel walked inside and glanced around, making sure no one was watching, then shut the door behind her.
The lights went off, and the shack was left in the dark.
ZHOFRPH WR JUDYLWB IDOOV.
This is my art blog, you can check the art I made for this chapter here: post/172595317733/ah-summer-break-a-time-for-leisure-recreation
I wanna make more of these for every chapter, let's see if I can keep up with them too.